Lint rolling with me, Drake.

I'm ill, on my sofa. My washing machine is on so I can't hear the fucking TV. So I bought Football Manager 2015. I've started unemployed. Let's get it on.

I haven't managed unemployed for a while, so having to sift through 22 shitty interviews answering the same boring questions over and over was as fun as it sounds.



I promised them the budget they offered (£20k) is more than adequate and that I'll definitely achieve a respectable mid-table position.

Apparently they're desperate.

Starting your career with Hartlepool, just like Brian Clough. Man am I looking forward to reading this.

I signed a few, loaned a few. I wanted to sign a guy called Denzel Slinger but I wasn't able to sell one of my players for £15k in order to pay the signing-on fee. I guess that goes to show how highly valued my team is.



Kris Bright is a decent Kiwi striker. Claude Davis is a massive beast of a man who has been kicking the shit out of strikers in the lower leagues for years. Nathan Luscombe is a winger who just left Hartlepool in real life and who I just re-signed (unknowingly).

I don't really know what to expect, there's some 'talent' but nothing that screams amazing. I don't think we'll get relegated, so that's a bonus.

I do own this though:



Which definitely looks nothing like this:

Good luck man.

Lost our first three games, but since then we've been pretty solid. I thought we'd be average but given how we're playing I don't see why we can't push for promotion. I do need another centre back. Matthew Bates is always injured and Claude Davis is due a hip replacement any day now.

Marlon fucking Harewood. What a shit player he was.

Not a bad start, I will folow, sir!

Fantastic \o/ Good luck with Hartlepool!

Dropped a bit since I last updated but we're still floating around the right end of the table. We lost in the Northern Final of the Johnstone's Paint Trophy, but I would rather win a free cheeseburger at McDonald's than be associated with that worthless tin cup.

I might flex my adventurous side and try a more attacking style of play in the final third of the season, obviously this will completely disrupt any positive grace I've built up and trainwreck my season.

Playoffs still very much achivable...lets wait and see

Shitty ending to the season. Had to have a meeting with the board to convince them I'm not a total dick. They've told me I need eight points in my next five matches next season otherwise they're going to merk me. Fuck them, I tried my best. I mean for fuck's sake, this is Hartlepool... a town that prides itself on hanging a monkey during the Napoleonic wars because they were so backwards they couldn't distinguish a hairy animal that walks on all fours and man.

I'll try again, but given that the board hate me, the players hate me and I hate me, I really don't see anything but rock bottom.

Not good, Fantastic Hope they keep you on.

2015/16

















I made some big signings this summer. MacDonald and Klasnic are a total overhaul to the frontline (bye bye Marllon) while reinforcing the midfield and defence has also taken place. Instead of banging out loads of loans I tried to actually bring in my own guys this year as I felt it'd be better in the long term to actually have them on board. I like the players and I think they suit my playing style.

They've really set it down for the points off the start of the new season!

Good transfers signings

Klasnic haha. World class. My money is on sacked in the next 5 games after a no goals return from the walking coffin Klasnic. (I've got everything crossed this doesn't happen...)

Side point, whatever happened to your novel?

Well I thought that you would still fight for the playoffs so in the end was a bit of a disappointment to finish middle of the pack

Lets see with the new players

So yeah, the season's started the other way. Josh MacDonald is a killer, and he's only 19. Tom Naylor and Trotman in defence are cooking on gas and Brad Walker (who almost left last season) has formed a killer partnership with Dolan in the middle.

Wow top start to the second season!

Brought in Chris Long from Everton during the winter transfer break as Klasnic is getting old.





He's doing pretty well so far, and so are we still:



Just got to keep pushing forward. It's a little tight right now as I have four strikers injured (MacDonald, Klasnic, Wood, Bright) but the addition of Long and some utterly brilliant football from Barkhuizen should see us stay relevant until the end of the season.

Doing extremely well! Lets hope it can last till the end!

Very tight up there! Good come back against Cambridge.

Great work there. Going to be a close end of season

Locked that shit down. Amazing seaosn led by the play of Barkhuizen and MacDonald just fucking shit up left, right, and centre.



I think the average age of the squad is about 24 so there's real room for this team to grow. Inevitably player sales will occur, but for the most part it's all fun as the gaps in our margins get wider and we can start looking to get better players in and see how we can handle League One. I'm excited, this is a fun game.

Congrats on being champions Hope you can keep hold of McDonald in the summer.

2016/17















Feel like we're doing absolutely fine given we've just been promoted. I've tried to get some prospects in with good futures so we can either profit from their talent or from their sales. If we can just keep our necks above water this season I think we'll have established a secure position in this league for the forseeable future.

Good to see you're back Not doing too badly there.

Annoying loss, especially after two wins and two draws in our last four games.