The 'Describe Your Own Penis' Thread

This is the thread where we describe our penises in detail.

If you all want we can have a little game, where we draw each others penises in Paint, based on the description, and the one who comes the closest gets a lot of points or something?

Can we post pictures?

Takes the fun out of the game. But you can describe how it looks in the photo, and then we can have a comparison with the Paint images afterwards.

I'll be the first one.

Your mother's dream.

His name is Barack Obama, due to the skin colour. Half-white.

Nestled deep in a jungle of greasy, matted black hair lies an organ of average properties. The bridge between groin and shaft is barely visible, but it is there. It is not a myth, there is no magic holding the two together: just skin and tissue. As the groin departs and we begin our journey north along the body of the shaft we notice a small abnormality on the underside, a difference in pigmentation. On closer inspection this also seems to contain a slight indentation that becomes slightly more visible when the penis is erect. This scar is the physical memory of an ill-fated fifteen-year-old's attempt at fellatio, the combination of poor technique and dental braces combining in a storm of misfortune to cause a moderate amount of bleeding and a maximum amount of embarrassment for both parties.

As we continue further up we noticed an increase in wrinkling, the skin pushed back and bunched together as we approach the helmet. Also more visible now is how much darker here the skin colour is compared to the rest of the body. It is unknown whether this is a permanent layer of dirt due to uncleanliness or due to a higher melanin count. As we stop to examine the skin we also become very aware of the large vein stretching across the length of the shaft, dragging our eyes towards the summit, to the forbidden peak.

Where the skin of the shaft crests and falls back on itself we are led to the pink, craterless surface of the helmet. It is sensitive and warm, always sitting proudly at the front of the organ, never hiding inside the cave of skin behind it. There are slight reddish marks on the base of the helmet which appear out of place, they could be permanent or from overuse. It is unknown how long it has been since the last inspection. At the tip we meet the end of the urethra and this seems to be the most well kept area of the penis, perhaps due to frequent wiping on socks and t-shirts. If we pan around and look at the whole body of skin and tissue the penis appears sad and lonely, but we notice two small friends hanging underneath. Those are the testicles and we can leave the penis now safe in the knowledge he has company.

You're quite a good writer, you should try doing a novel.

Superb. Attenborough would be proud of that description.

The last sentence was the clincher for me.

Willing.