Number 1 - Comments

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#330314 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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15 May 2016 17:22:09

"Incredibly lifelike explosive device" is a very strange statement, but it does appear to somewhat confirm a rumour that it was not a real explosive device.

#330293 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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15 May 2016 15:54:22

Amazing how we can only get 2 points against Aston Villa and then score 3 goals against Spurs with ten men.

Still, its been a daft season. So why not leave the league in such an absurd manner.

#330276 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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15 May 2016 15:35:03

I can only see Vines on Twitter and Mitrovic's challenge looked like an extremely bad one. May also mean we're stuck with him for a bit, given he's banned for the first 4 games of next season.

Still, nice of Gini Wijnaldum to turn up now it no longer matters.

#330272 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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15 May 2016 15:27:31

Tweeted by Daniel Taylor, though I suspect a few others have also picked up on it.

#330257 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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15 May 2016 14:57:50

If only Newcastle had put it in more displays like the first half more often.

Oh well.

By Suffolk Seasider | On 15 May 2016 - 15:11 PM BST

"Suspect packages".

So long as everyone is safe!

Absolutely.

Even if it adds to the bizarre unreality of it all to see Graeme Souness stood beyond the 100m blast radius perimeter saying "We have the best security services in the world".

#330243 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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15 May 2016 14:07:35

Very serious - match abandoned.

#330222 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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15 May 2016 11:03:00

By Shola | On 15 May 2016 - 10:32 AM BST

I thought Newcastle showing Benitez some love was an indication that we are in fact small time - but Sunderland flying a plane to celebrate 17th really puts that into perspective.

I find its usually the case that whenever some lot rent a plane for this sort of bollocks, it ends badly in the long run for the team hiring the plane.

Hopefully that's a good omen. And if not then at the very least, it really should be in this context.

#330141 The Lower League Thread

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14 May 2016 13:32:23

Not sure tbh - we're likely behind PL clubs in the queue for Hughes and Ince is often very inconsistent. An article earlier suggested Keogh... new CB's required so he'd be a decent possibility. But I'm still expecting the idiots to buy random and absurd buys from the French/BeNeLux leagues to randomly turn up.

I'd like Odubajo at Hull, but I'm guessing we'll have competition given he's widely seen as one of Hull's best players. It sounds like they've destroyed the Rams today, and looks like they'll at the least be Wembley-bound barring a Derby turnaround of biblical proportions.

#330108 Newcastle Thread

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14 May 2016 09:56:29

So, looking at the squad as is, who to cash in, and who could we bring in?

Personally I think Sissoko, Janmaat, Wijnaldum, Thauvin, Coloccini and possibly Perez should be carted off. I think de Jong and Saivet could do a job in the Championship but can't see either staying. As for ins, I saw a few mentioned around - Nahki Wells was one and I think he would be good - but I'm not entirely sure. For all we know Carr's probably got someone in the French third tier lined up.

#330105 The Lower League Thread

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14 May 2016 09:36:04

By Suffolk Seasider | On 14 May 2016 - 09:53 AM BST

Yeah, four injuries in a play off semi final is FM levels of brutal. Don't fancy them to turn the 2 goal deficit around at their place now

Yeah. Not least given Hemed, Knockeart and Goldson are three key players, and Sidwell has been a key player of late. So, yeah, they're shitted up.

#330077 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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13 May 2016 20:00:10

Martinez gone was predictable for about 3 months. Quique Sanchez Flores leaving Watford is a weird one, even if they think the crap second half to their season justifies it. As presumably does the fact their owners don't really care for managerial longevity.

#330076 The Lower League Thread

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13 May 2016 19:36:04

I can't tell if the Forestieri offside touched Hooper to justify it or not, but the tripe whammy for Brighton of losing 2 of their best players and then conceded still fucks them sideways.

#329944 Euro 2016 Squads

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12 May 2016 20:05:38

By King Luis | On 12 May 2016 - 21:02 PM BST

He'll have a stormer now he'll want a transfer away

He always plays better for the French national team.

And yeah. Still, hopefully a good performance at the Euros means £15-20m towards the Championship rebuild.

#329941 Euro 2016 Squads

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12 May 2016 20:01:25

Moussa Sissoko? Are they fucking high?

#329924 The Sack Race

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12 May 2016 18:39:44

Must be something to do with the prospect of fans bringing the protest against him to the club's end of season awards do.

#329905 The Lower League Thread

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12 May 2016 17:00:14

Oh do the play-offs start tonight? I thought the first one was a Championship one on Saturday?

By Suffolk Seasider | On 11 May 2016 - 21:26 PM BST

Rumours of Rafa to Everton seem to be getting more air time...

I don't think Everton fans want him given the fun and games that went down when he was Liverpool gaffer. The one I heard for them was Frank de Boer.

I'm prepared to wait and see. I love the idea of a Champions League-winning manager seeing enough to like about our shitheap of a club that he would be prepared to rebuild the playing squad in the Championship, but I'm still braced for a total cockwomble like Steve Bruce.

#329904 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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12 May 2016 16:56:21

I swear Sunderland fans are happier that their win ended our hopes of staying up than them actually staying up. With any luck they will be regretting this next year when their main points source has gone.

If I wanted to I could moan about that game at their place in October when Adam Johnson scored an incorrectly awarded penalty, but its not worth the pixels. We've been shit for most of the last 4 years and don't deserve a Premier League place. Means I wasn't pessimistic to have accepted relegation 5/6 times before last night.

Oh well. Bring on Burton Albion.

By Franck | On 12 May 2016 - 02:47 AM BST

Can't imagine much of this Newcastle squad will follow them down to the Championship.

For most of them, perhaps fuck off might be too kind.

#329738 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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11 May 2016 16:51:45

Danny Welbeck is out for 9 months with a major knee injury.

He just has the worst luck.

By SpinSwimScream | On 10 May 2016 - 23:06 PM BST

Followed by Woodward naming B&Q as our official Pitchfork partner

He's never one to miss out on a business/marketing opportunity huh?

#329662 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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10 May 2016 22:03:49

I think if that happens then van Gaal will probably be chased from Manchester with pitchforks and flaming torches.

#329585 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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10 May 2016 18:42:05

I see West Ham fans have said goodbye to Upton Park in the traditional style, by trashing the opponent's bus and forcing a 45 minute delay. Delightful.

Incidentally, how much coverage has their state-subsidised move gotten for fuck's sake?

#329327 Adventures Through Time and Space - Recreating History

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08 May 2016 15:55:41

The double combination of losing the keeper and having to put Nicky Butt in goal for a game against another top team must've been great, no?

And yeowzer that's an injury haha. I'm liking the retro gameplay though.

#329316 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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08 May 2016 14:08:18

By bmg033 | On 08 May 2016 - 15:05 PM BST

This is terrible, 2-1 down and none of them look that bothered.

Assuming Everton pull something out of their arse on Wednesday then maybe there is hope for us.

By BR. | On 07 May 2016 - 23:22 PM BST

Don't remind me of that Haha, been a horrible 5 and a half years.

Yeah I can imagine.

#329310 The Lower League Thread

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08 May 2016 13:51:47

So, in 2009, Burton Albion were non-league. They're now in the Championship and could be facing a local derby with Derby County, as well as Aston Villa. Blimey Charlie.

I'm so not looking forward to seeing Sky gloat as Newcastle lose at their less-than-7,000 stadium on a Tuesday night next season.

#329308 The Lower League Thread

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08 May 2016 13:32:30

Does it sum up how much Blackpool have ceased to be a football club that they contrived to let Peterborough score 5 from being behind at 45?

#329297 The Lower League Thread

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08 May 2016 11:48:51

I could swear I saw one or two going "Wagner Out" on Twitter, but that could just be my imagination.

By Vercoe | On 08 May 2016 - 12:08 PM BST

Yeah they did, if I remember right we played the Thunderbirds theme for them as well; and this year the home end "sung" the Star Wars theme for them and the announcer, at the end of the game, wished them a safe trip home and said "May the force be with you". Which is dumb because Storm Troopers were with the Empire, what an idiot...

Also their Chief Exec. came in a Yoda mask and his wife came dressed as Princess Leia, looked hilarious those two in the Director's Box.

I saw the Yoda/Leia stuff. It all sounds like a pretty fun way to end the season tbf.

#329261 The Lower League Thread

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08 May 2016 09:13:48

By Vercoe | On 08 May 2016 - 07:41 AM BST

I liked the time they went as penguins and rode up escalators on their stomachs! It's a right laugh even for the home fans to see! I think Hartlepool actually put on a sort of package deal where all the Storm Troopers stayed in Torquay over night and apparently they stayed in full costume all night so it looked like Torquay had been invaded.

That would explain the photos at Torquay station then.

That sounds brilliant. Didn't they go to Plymouth as Thunderbirds a few years back too?

#329248 The Lower League Thread

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07 May 2016 22:07:38

By Vercoe | On 07 May 2016 - 22:19 PM BST

They were brilliant, 500 of them all dressed up as Storm Troopers! They were clearly there for the laugh and celebrated every one of our goals like absolute heroes! Did their conga line during the second half and just generally had fun. A huge credit to their club and, 5 goals aside (check out our third by the way), that made my day!

My favourite of those Hartlepool fancy dresses was the smurfs at Charlton in 2012, if only for the video of them on the escalators on the Tube singing down while a row next to them have proper "the fuck is this?" stares.

That comment might have been founded on one going "The worst thing then going that way for a 5-0 defeat was while doing it dressed as a Stormtrooper", although the conga does sound pretty brilliant.

#329232 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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07 May 2016 19:48:17

By BR. | On 07 May 2016 - 20:45 PM BST

Not sure they will be (assuming they do stay up of course). Whenever Big Sam has a full season with a club they usually end at least comfortably mid table, apart from Bolton's first season or two after promotion 15 years ago.

Although it's too early I guess to predict what'll happen next season, after all who thought this season would go how it has done.

I want my moment of irritable cynicism dagnabit! Although granted that when it comes to NUFC that started around November 2012, but still.

Then again, who knows. If Blackburn hadn't sacked Big Sam for Steve Kean in 2010, they'd probably not be among the early favourites for a spot in League One right now. Plus Leicester winning the league promotes the mostly welcome return of unpredictability to football and whatnot.

#329230 2015/16 Barclays Premier League Thread

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07 May 2016 19:41:41

By Dan | On 07 May 2016 - 20:25 PM BST

Glad Sunderland beat Chelsea in the end today! Would love them to fight against relegation once again especially if it means Newcastle get relegated!!

If this is about the foul throw in the TW Derby then let it go.

And frankly, is a Sam Allardyce side who will be exactly in the same place next year a team you want to survive?

#329227 The Lower League Thread

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07 May 2016 19:13:31

By Vercoe | On 07 May 2016 - 18:49 PM BST

Watching the replay back it looked like Stephens won the ball and the other fella (Ramirez?) kicked the bottom of his boot.

Does it? Looked like an overly aggressive tackle to me, but then I've only see it on Vine. In any case there'll probably a rule of intent and he'll be banned for the play-offs anyway.

I'm guessing, meanwhile, the Hartlepool Stormtroopers didn't look very pleased they dressed up and went all that way to Plymouth to see a 5-0 hammering.