Eric Portapotty - Comments

January 2039

Our poor form continues, and it's Barca so that didn't help.



I no longer feel anything.



Finally a win after our absolutely wretched run, with Dincel being the hero in the lone striker role.
Also, have you guys gotten those news posts where you get a win after finally changing tactics? It's annoying how it's as if a tactical change was the sole catalyst of our win - I mean it could be, but come on.



There was some absolutely awful defending here, we derserved to lose by the sheer shambles of our backline alone.
For some reason Elche also managed to capitulate as well, which allowed us to regain some pride.



Oh look we still can't beat Bilbao, gonna be great news for when we meet them later on in the Europa League.



A hellish couple of months has seen us tumble down the table into the bottom half, with little to no respite in sight.
There's still half a season to go though, so I do hope we can at least claw our way back up the table and hopefully snag another European spot.

On to the Copa del Rey:



Bore draw, neither side could shoot, and we were much more afraid of losing another game so we'd take a stalemate.



Turned out it didn't matter, we were so rubbish with defending set pieces that we should lost by more here.
So that's us out of the cup, and out of the top half of the league - great times.

Let's end the month on a positive, fuck knows I need one:



YES HE'S BACK
Well not really, he's still a couple of weeks from recovering from his horror injury, so he'll spend the rest of the season recuperating and regaining match fitness with the B-Team before we evaluate his readiness for the senior squad next season.
And I'd love to have him back into the fold, it feels like I owe him this one considering he suffered his nightmare leg breaks here, which probably led to the non-renewal of his PSG deal.

You've made it private mate.

2nd time's the playoff charm I guess, KUTGW

Never had a good go at the British leagues for some time tbh, maybe I should give it a go for FM17.

December 2038

Vargas got us the lead with a sumptuous lob on the counter, but even without our opener Atleti were always going to go for the attack, and after falling behind they basically lay siege on our goal.
They eventually got an equaliser, then the winner, as we failed to prove any title credentials here.



Trained on set-piece defending, concede from a set-piece - no matter, I'm sure we will be able to come back from that, particularly since they've got a 16-year old at LB.
We proceed to have yet another shitshow at shooting.
It's bad enough when the strikers are missing the target, it's bad enough when the wingers choose to hit the side netting instead of crossing, but an RB? When his crossing is far superior to his shooting ability and I've got 2 giants in the penalty area? C'mon, that's just idiotic.
The worst part of this was again losing to Valencia - they've been struggling this season and we've never been able to beat them, so now was as good an opportunity to get one over them.



It's been a nightmare month and a bit in the league, from an outside chance of CL football to (potentially) looking at 12th spot.
Next up is Barca as well, our overachievement so far will go to pot if we lose (which we probably will).

Enough of that though, let's go through the more positive stuff - the Copa Del Rey is back on, and for our 1st round we met Albacete.



We were probably never in any trouble, though their GK was seemingly unstoppable before we eventually got our 1st, and Artur Silva ballsed up a back pass to let them have a goal back.
But the sheer superiority of our attack inevitably shone through, Dincel the rightful MotM with 2 goals and 3 assists.



A non contest - a rotated squad ran this game out, while Cristobal and Panagiotou both scored impressive lobs.



Urgh, we'll probably lose this one to be honest - our record against Betis is patchy at best, and our current form doesn't scream 'form-book tearing' if I'm honest.

Now to another cup competition:



Again another dead rubber, no real worries here.



And yes, top of the group! Though of bigger significance is arguably the outright elimination of Liverpool here - they didn't seem to play their best teams against us and Groningen, and they paid for it.

What of our next opponents then?



Not too bad, we should expect going through to the next round, where we will meet...



Shit.
It's far from ideal, these 2 teams - either I get one who'll clearly be hellbent on revenge after the group stage thumping, or I get one who I've not been able to beat consistently.

I'd like to finish on a brighter note though:



Nice to see a defender get some recognition, it's high time he had some given the amount of time he's played (and excelled) in La Liga.

You sound like a fairly intelligent bloke from your content around these parts, is the SweSAT that hard?

I like to think that I've played enough FM to grow accustomed to this, but man it always gets to me every time my team balls things up.

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Ah, the Celta bogeyman strikes again - granted we played an understrength team to account for fatigue, but we should have done much better against a Celta side in relegation trouble.
Alas we were apparent second fiddle to them, who despite setting up in a 4-4-1-1 were in control all game.
And we'd have lost too had it not been for a fortunate setpiece, which resulted in an OG that we probably didn't deserve.



Oh man this was hard going - we got really, really long to get going (no shots in the 1st 30 minutes) and Real took full advantage with 2 goals going into the break.
After some hairdrying in the dressing room the team came out with a bit more end product - 1 goal to be precise, but a side of Real's calibre knows how to hold on to leads.



Another insipid performance against a team who were content sit back and play for the draw.
Trying to play the ball to their third was very difficult, with their midfield doing an exemplary job cutting out our through passes.
And it looked like were going to drop points yet again, but cometh the hour, cometh the man - supersub Lucas Eyheramonho.
Stoppage time, he gets the ball, speeds past the opposing RB and unleashes a howitzer from the edge of the area to secure a 1st victory this month.



So only 4 points from 9, but we somehow stay in the top 4.
Next up in the league is Atletico as well - we beat them and we underline our title credentials, we lose and it's 5th and below for us.

Next up is crunch time in the Europa League - 1st up, Liverpool at home.



Pool were missing their 1st-choice defensive partnership, and we took full advantage, NIkolaou and Dincel combining spectacularly to assist each other's goals.
It's been really surprising to find Dincel playing with Nikolaou as well - he was signed as competition, but he seems to have been far more comfortable playing off the frontman.
Though if he wasn't taking Nikolaou's spot he had to take someone else's - that of club captain Fernando Alava, who's still by far the most creative element in the team, but isn't on par with Dincel physically.

So with this win we at least could count ourselves ahead of Liverpool in head-to-head, so all we had to do was to not do too badly against Groningen.



Wait, I'll go one better - well 5 better.
We had a slightly tentative start, and were worried about Groningen's narrow midfield diamond pulling us out of position.
We eventually did score, Vargas finishing off a peach of a cross from Eyheramonho, but then had to be wary of Groningen's insistence on having their striker playing off the last man - Szeman did a fantastic job of neutralising those efforts for the most part.
That said, when we did score again, we made sure we capitalised on it, eventually putting the game out of their sights.
And while they did score a consolation, it's not like defences can copy perfectly when strikers are going full Inzaghi on you for 90 minutes - something's bound to slip through.



\o/
I think it's confirmed top spot for us as well, having a superior record over both of the other 2 means that we can't be bested in head-to-head.
So we go through as group winners, hope that we can ride on that and get an easier draw in January.

October 2038

A magnificent debut for Sakib Dincel, who playing in the AMC role behing Nikolaou was able to show his scoring prowess.
A header, a clinical finish and a long-range freekick - he can really be the complete package on his day.



I'dve punched out my screen if I wasn't already laughing at our ineptitude - while we weren't on the front foot by any means we at least had a lead against thr run of play and could've built on that on the counter.
That we did do, but again our inability to finish our chances (or keep onside) would prove to be our undoing.
But I certainly didn't expect the goals that were conceded - first Szeman contrived to rifle the ball into his own net after a shot hit both posts, and Curri got completely caught out by a free kick a la Lehmann in the last game at Highbury, before Garrido volleyed in from the halfway line from Curri's own clearance.
Terrible way to concede 3 goals.

Not that it was an indicator for what was about to happen next:





It's just a perfect storm really, their centrebacks never ever seemed to have any understanding and Nikolaou ran riot between them.



Oh.
Joke's on us here, giving Real an absolute hiding before failing to beat minnows Hercules.
Our fitness ran very thin here and they took advantage of our fatigue to snatch a late, late equaliser - though they shouldn't even have stayed in the contest, so many chances and we couldn't see the game out.



Oh man, this looked like we were going to end the month in a rut with 2 consecutive winless games.
We were favourites before the game and played like it, but like against Hercules did not make full use of our dominance.
We continued to pour forward even after conceding (we had to) and eventually Cristobal earned a penalty (which somewhat made up for his wasteful shooting, somewhat) and Szeman dispatched the equaliser.
Bell then followed up from his defensive partner and headed win a crucial winner to help end the month on a high at least.



Still 4th amazingly, though I hope the Real game wasn't a one-off and we can actually give the top sides a real run for their money.

Now to the Europa League - only 1 game this month:



Otal gave us a shock lead against the run of play, but they were always going to assert their dominance in the game and once they found their leveller we were going to have to defend, hard.
And we did, with Studenovic showing up at the right time to deliver a MoTM performance at the back.



For some reason we're top, it's probably because we've actually scored goals in both games in our mini-league.
Definitely not expecting an easy ride though, Groningen will most likely pad their goal difference against Zejleznicar, while Liverpool will be baying for blood after the dropped points in our reverse fixture.

Aye, Obolon-Brewer - they don't seem to have (or had) a sugardaddy, looks like they managed to get promoted and establish themselves as a solid Ukrainian side the hard way.

Unfortunately Matuszczyk's replacement and Panagiotou were both injured in preaseason and missed the entirely of the season thus far.
In fact Panagiotou's been registered with the reserves at the moment (couldn't wait for him to recover, so Luis was picked instead) and he'll only be available in the EL for the next couple of months.

Oh and I've just changed laptops, not got around to installing logo/facepacks yet

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September 2038

Boom! Got Getafe to sit their asses down, fancy the newly promoted side trying to tear up the form book
We didn't have too much of the ball, but we played the counterattacking game to a T and well, the scoreboard speaks for itself.



Dire game, not that we were not ever likely going to score against Sevilla's GK going by past encounters.
We managed to win, though not exactly of our own doing...
That said it's not like Sevilla's attack was any better on the day, so it's basically who deserved to lose the least.



The narrow 4-2-3-1 haunts us once more, another ridiculous pass-and-go move bamboozled our backline and left Maiquez with only the keeper to beat, and they don't miss those.
We could've done much more to close down their wingbacks, but it'dve blunted our attack even more since the fullbacks needed to help close the channels down by playing narrowly.



Las Palmas weren't at the races at all, but we weren't able to capitalise on that and put more than a solitary goal past them.
I'd try to put a positive spin on it and go 'at least we didn't slip up against a minnow' but that's clutching at straws when they were this poor.



Top 4 currently, but we haven't actually played any of the really good sides yet, so I'm not harbouring any hope that this'll last.

Now for the continent：



Definitely thought I could get away with playing a rotated side against Groningen - in a way we kind of did, but this could well look like dropped points come Matchday 6.
Yes it's an away game, but last season we managed 2 wins against Freiburg which went some way to securing an easy path to the knockout rounds.



Like Las Palmas, Zeljeznicar were never going to win here, but it did look like we weren't going to actually score, such was the state our our shooting boots.
Szeman eventually got us ahead, but that didn't to open the floodgates - well not in the way that a side of our calibre should've.
But a win is a win, we did nearly slip up against Tbilisi last season as well.



Huge shock as Groningen get their hardest fixture out of the way 1st, with a very credible draw against Liverpool.
We'll need to match that or we could find ourselves praying for Zeljeznicar to play a blinder against them at least once.

It's funny because Kevo would've had a significantly more successful FIFA channel if he'd actually followed these steps.

August 2038

As good a start to the season as I could ask for, beating an Elche who can tear teams apart on thei day.
Our current fit starting forwards both netted too, Nikolaou's being by far the more impressive tally obviously.



The 1st half was one of the best I've seen from the lads, a shame that they nearly blew that lead in the 2nd half.
Still, a win is a win.



Unlike the next game, where we failed to avenge our loss to Bilbao at the tail end of last season.
Athletic always had the upper hand in this encounter, dominating possession and having the lion's share of chances, but it's still a pity we couldn't hold on to the draw.



2 wins from 3, could've been worse.
What's surprising are newly-promoted Getafe - with a perfect record so far they'll be a very dangerous proposition in our next match.

Onto the Europa League Playoff:



Gave a couple of the youth prospects and fringe players a run out here, and we definitely made things difficult for ourselves out there.
But it's still 2 away goals to bring back to Spain, so the ball is very much in our court (or field, if you will).



Aberdeen stuck to their guns of playing on the break despite needing a win here, and it nearly worked out well - for every goal we had they had an answer to, and the nerves were beginning to creep in as time wore on.
Fortunately Cristobal gave them a taste of their own medicine with a late goal of his on the counter, and we eventually confirmed our participation in the group stages.

And here they are:



I doubt Zeljeznicar will be as much of a pushover as Tbilisi were last season, while Gronigen won't be an easy proposition either.
The main attraction is obviously Liverpool, as with Chelsea last season I'm not expecting to finish above them.

June - August 2038

Players of the Season:



Nikolaou is going from strength to strength, and this season he's shown to have stepped out of Matuszczyk's shadow, deputising spectacularly when the latter was injured.
Virtually guaranteed the 1st choice striker at this point, and not only on form (as you'll see).



Earned his first cap for Greece as well, recognition for his current form.




Alava is still the main creative force in the team, and despite not influencing games the way a playmaker is expected to do all the time he racked up plenty of assists, owing to his AMC role which allows him to play the final pass.



Marcos Vargas is an odd one, he did have very poor games (his shooting is very inconsistent in particular), but when he gets going he can be an absolute beast of a player.
And it's safe to say he did tear in up in Europe, 10 assists/goals in 7 appearances speaks for itself.



Eyheramonho is an odd one - while he was consistently decent in the Europa League he endured a wretched start to the league campaign, which at least helped me with rotations (since it was obvious he couldn't hack it domestically anyway).
But towards the end of the season he started to improve - a great end to the campaign where he contributed 2 goals and 3 assists in his last 4 games.
He might not be the best, but under the right circumstances he can prove to be a solid squad player.

Post/Preseason:



It's not easy being rich, and it's even harder when I can't cook the books.



Though at least we aren't falling foul of FFP, I'll take that moral high ground with both hands.



Yeah, though it's going to be hard to emulate this the next time round.




OOOO TOP 60 BABY
And it's good to see that we've managed to keep up our rep up, hopefully I'll be able to acquire players who will keep us from inevitably getting relegated.



Hmm... I suppose he did do well, but he didn't really stand out as far as I could tell.
Or maybe that's just how defenders are viewed, not much.



Genuinely surprised Eyheramonho was rated 2nd best transfer - yes he was free, but surely they could've found a new player who had a better season?
Might've taken into his account his Europa League exploits, but then again this is La Liga's season review, so...

But I digress - Transfers:



A bit of upheaval this season, a couple of veterans and favourites have departed and in come a couple of (hopefully) upgrades.
Well you all know Studenovic, so here are the others:



The marquee signing this season, Sakib Dincel has got some cracking attributes to play up front - speed, strength and aerial prowess with an uncanny ability to ping a hell of a pass.
Matuszczyk and Tienda go the other way - the former will always be a cult hero around these parts for his 1st 2 seasons, though he eventually got bogged down by injuries and an increasingly obvious lack of speed, and a change of environment and more forgiving opposing defences will do him a world of good.
Tienda.... he used to play a more than decent part of our 1st choice midfield but he too eventually found himself on the fringes of the squad.



Panagiotou - basically the Cypriot Tim Cahill.
Seriously though, great pace, technically proficient, he might not have much room for improvement but he's got some ability already.



I've had my eye on Jankulica for the past 3 seasons or so, a tidy passer with both feet could become a key fixture if things pan out.
Now 3 seasons have passed, he's got a couple of injuries which seem to have stunted his growth (as did the decision to stay in Croatia).
But he's here, a punt on him which could yet bear fruit.

Of the outs, Muniz and Carreno were a GK and LB respectively, both were backups with only a year left on their deals.
Samuel was a hot defensive prospect with an unfortunate weakness, only 178cm - so he was flogged off the the 1st bidder who was dumb enough willing to take the risk.

Preseason:



Unbeaten, though that was practically mandatory given the standard of our opposition.

Now for some actual competitive football, the Europa League 3rd qualifying round:



It was either Domzale of Iceland's FH, not that it mattered anyway on the back of this 1st leg.
Eyheramonho continued his great European form here, helping us to a 4-goal lead going into the 2nd leg in Slovenia.



An exercise in futility, in fact it was made even more futile with Diallo tearing his groin muscle.



Aberdeen! Nice to be able to go to Scotland, even if we'll have to go to their shit stadium (Pittodrie reference anyone?)

Back to domestic affairs:



Middle-tier bonuses, no need to up the stakes on anything if we aren't challenging for any honours.



And looks like the bookies agree - a bottom half finish would do just fine, just don't fuck up and get relegated.

Yeah that's a terrible injury, worst part is that it's also the last season of his contract with PSG, which means he was playing with us for a new deal.

Yeah I'd watched that, it's pretty cool to be able to own a part of a club, and to know you played a part in saving it from extinction.

And apologies for not updating, Uni's been a bitch and now that I've given up on that ( ) I've finally got round to getting this on again.

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April-May 2038

Ooo a comfortable victory, and we managed to keep their Italian hotshot quiet.
Nikolaou is really stepping up as well, which we'll need seeing that Matuszczyk could well be on the wane (overreaction).



I'm really glad we managed to win this, Elche have the capacity to give us an absolute hiding (as they did in the past) and now that we're chasing a European spot a capitulation is not needed to say the least.
That said we did concede 1st, but it just allowed us to show our ability to come back from behind, with the winner coming from Nikolaou again.



Marc Tienda marked a rare start with a howitzer for the lead, a goal which also won him the goal of the week.
Unfortunately we weren't able to get more against a capable Espanyol side, and even after our efforts following Bell's OG we couldn't find a way through.
Tienda endured a sour end to his productive night by earning a second yellow, not that it stopped him from gettting the MoTM nod.



Sporting were playing for their La Liga lives here, and it really was written in the script that they earn a vital win is no less an occasion than a derby.
That they did set out to do, and we matched them to a man.
They went off to a great start, rode that wave despite conceding a leveller to go into the interval in the lead, and could well have put the game beyond doubt with the penalty.
It missed, we took that close call and quickly equalised, before Nikolaou turned saviour yet again with another late winner.

In came May, 4 games left, and let's just say our opposition wasn't going to roll over:



Bilbao were actually behind us at 7th at this time (yes we were 6th!) so it was imperative we didn't lose - firstly because we'd fall to 7th, 2nd because of our wretched run of games to play out the season, and lastly because who likes to lose??
But I digress - things seemed to be going swimmingly for us initially, having the opener handed to us and playing a a man more as Bilbao looked to self-destruct.
That dismissal seemed to have triggered something in both teams though - they started having so much more of the ball (even more so as a team with only 10 men) while we didn't look capable (or willing) to get it off them.
Eventually they turned the game on its head and earned a 2-goal lead, while we continued to put in a sterile showing, and Bell's late effort only served to add a sense of closeness to the scoreline.



I think you've beginning to see what I meant - now the chase for 7th was on, and Valencia were not going to miss out without a hell of a fight.
Another meek performance was we contrived to go 2 down, and Akaev's goal was the only serious opportunity for us.

The penultimate game pitted us against Real Sociedad (another team in the chasing pack) and while we were still in that 7th place, we'd also taken a bit of a battering at a vital time and it wasn't going to get any better here.



Or so I thought - great performance here, ran rings around them at theirs', keeping ex-winger on the fringes of the game while our own wingers ran riot with them diagonal runs between the channels.
Well that pretty much secured the Europa League spot, so all that was left was the closer against CL-bound Real Betis (see I tould you it was going to be a tough end to the season):



Well that was a smash and grab if I've ever seen one, terrific tekkers from Vargas there.



So yes we made it to Europe yet again, and this time we didn't rely on a fluke cup run.
For better or worse rivals Sporting went down, so no league derbies next season.
What is definitely worse is Rayo still managing to stay up, seems like that they'll never go down so long they've got that Italian striker on their books.

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Season review to come.

Playing really well today, could and should've been 6 or 7.

Why doesn't Hammer9 post here anymore I wonder...


I think Moyes will eventually sort them out (if he doesn't get sacked) but the number of capitulations they've had despite Moyes being a defensive-minded coach makes me wonder if they'll get an attack going when they do get their defence working, and whether it'll be too late by then.
Palace will stay up, Bentekkerz will ensure that in all likelihood, and I reckon Stoke, WHam and Boro will do enough in the January window to keep themselves up.

But did Burnley deserve it?

Carrick seems like a nice enough bloke?

The one good thing about United's past success and having so many United fans on here is it's fucking hilarious when they enter 'crisis mode'.

No the irony's definitely not lost on me, but I'll take whatever schadenfreude I can get.

Friend of mine just flew to Bristol yesterday for his law degree, how fucked is he?

Bilic could've been in for a shout at that if he wasn't a Hammer.

I'm currently playing it on a 3-year old Toshiba laptop in which the screen no longer works, the thermal paste thingy has probably gone to pot and the battery no longer has it primary function - and I definitely won't wish a 20-season Pentagon save on my new one (not for FM14 anyway, FM17 maybe )

Honestly how do you even go about managing so many teams? I used to take U21 sides and even that was too much of a hassle to juggle alongside my club job, at most I'll take a U23 side (Olympics and Asian Games for instance, short tourneys).


Urgh, don't remind me, what a waste of a late 'winner' at home.

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March 2038

Should've rotated the team, but I'd erroneously though that there was a European game on so that was the priority.
Not sure if that was the reason for our struggles here, but this won't be the prettiest game this season, but the scoreline... Well you'll see.

Before that, during training after the Granada game:



Why would I need to replace him? What could've happened?



OHHHHH FUCK
Even I feel sorry for him, and he's not even real!
It made Studentovic's even more of a vital one on hindsight.


As a result he had to be cut loose, but it'd suit all the parties involved.
An unexpected beneficiary of this was our Brazilian AM Luis, who was unable to secure a spot in the registered squad in January, but has been added fr cover for the unavailable Alava and the retiring Akaev.



Failed to capitalise on our lead, and as a result we had to watch our backs for the remainder of the game.
Studenovic scored tough, so there's a plus especially in light of the Conte situation.



Could and should've done more for this game, we had periods of consistent control but there was a relative lack of penetration, and by the time Celta went down to 10 they were all but content to see out the draw.



A great way to end off the month, Luis showing superb technique to net the opener, before Nikolaou fired in a clinical treble.



An unbeaten month, but also one that yielded only 50% points and a probable career-ending injury.
But it gets us 7th spot, which given that the Copa del Rey final pits the Madrid giants together, virtually guarantees Europa League football.

Speaking of which:



We came back from a goal down to lead and had an answer to their 1st equaliser, and it looked like we would be able to secure victory (albeit with the burden of a couple of away goals).
But we could have no answer to their 2nd equaliser, or their eventual winner.



We had to go on the offensive here - Camilo opened the scoring to give us a glimmer of hope, but we were pegged back soon after.
We needed to go on the attack anyway, so we did, but we met some dogged defending, and it was they who eventually sealed the tie on the counter.
No complaints though, Bologna showed that they were a more capable side than us in both legs.
Fun fact too, both teams' goalkeepers were Albanians - you don't see that everyday (except in Albania obviously).

We end off with the annual youth intake:



Park's "best player":



And the lot:



Way to end your stint as HoYD on a whimper eh?

Thanks so much mate, really appreciate the support

I really need a CL at this point (23 bloody seasons into a Pentagon Challenge) but I can't quite let go of my time at the clubs - there's always something about upgrading the facilities and bringing through the youths and the signings, there's always the hope that something of note can be done with these guys.
Really wish I'd stayed at Smouha to be honest, but when I lost to Orlando again I legitimately though they were nigh on invincible and I couldn't handle losing to that lot anymore.

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February 2039

3 things in life are certain this season: death, taxes and losing to Sevilla - our 3th and probable final loss to them in all competitions this season, while even the only draw ended in an aggregate defeat.
I think we were jaded from our 3 previous encounters and couldn't break through to give them a last suckerpunch for the season.



Villareal had a change of manager (being rock bottom does that to clubs you know) and had a resurgence, recording consecutive wins (including a massive scalp in the form of Real Madrid) and they were a very dangerous proposition for any team.
Fortunately our defence was holding firm throughout and we managed to break them down eventually.



Ooh, definitely wasn't expecting this - a rotated team coming back from behind to beat Barca.
Didn't start well, we started with an attacking mentality and while we weren't under the cosh all the way but we couldn't get much in the way of play.
Half time saw a switch to Counter, which somehow worked, and our backline managed to see the game out for a vital 3 points.



Another scalp of sorts, seems like we'd found some steel again.
The only bummer from this game would've to be Alava twisting his ankle - he'd only come on for the last 10 minutes and managed to get injured which'll keep him out for a month or so.



Above 50% this month, a massive improvement over the car crash that was January.
And still top half as well, delighted with that.

On to the Europa League, a 1st taste of French opposition for us :



Fairly even game, either side could've won but we managed to take our chances here and they didn't.



Nikolaou was magnificent here, even if he did miss a virtual sitter for his hat trick.
In any case this 1st half was one of the most efficient shooting I've seen from us, while the performance as a whole was one of the best this season - would've been the best had we not put 4 past Freiburg - twice - and 7 at Midtylland's place.



Another relatively unknown quantity, but if real life is anything to go by they're a bit shit, a yoyo-esque club hanging around in Serie A.
Then again Oviedo were on the brink of extinction, and yet here we are.

Only had Zlatan this whole time, can't stand Aguero being perennially a ticking injury bomb.
No denying he's worth it and then some though.

Aye Dan, was delighted that Smouha finally got that CL after choking so many times before - wish it was me at the helm for that though....

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January 2038

Fuck sake, we weren't getting much in the way of threats but we did look likely to hold the goalless draw - up to the 80th minute.



This game was the complete opposite, we ballsed up the start and it was uphill from then.
Didn't matter that we strived to reduce the deficit, because it turned out we couldn't shoot anyway.



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



We really were in the pits after our straight losses and it wasn't getting any better when we went behind against Real.
Fortunately we always had the element of pace in Cristobal, and he delivered here for some vital respite.



FINALLY
Cristobal earned a start after his heroics in the previous game (but probably due to rotation) and repeated them here, as we ended the month on a high of sorts.



After a wretched month we still find ourselves in the top half of the table - somehow.

Onto the Copa del Rey - if you think that our form in the league would have any effect in the cup then you'd be right:



WHAT THE FUCK
Fucking hell I was celebrating when Eyheramonho scored in the 91st, you can't fucking do this to me.



Having contrived to earn and lose a lead in stoppage fucking time I had virtually no expectations whatsoever, and I still ended up disappointed.
There's all the bullshit about how we fought well here, but the fact remains that in both legs stupid things we done and we don't really deserve to go through anyway as a result.

Oh and we've got 1 signing:



Another defender on loan - not an inspired acquisition by any means but he can provide ever more cover in that DM area, which wil always help.

Anyway.... I'll have to admit that my time at Oviedo, while occasionally successful, hasn't been the most enjoyable - and I was considering looking for alternative employment after the season.
My interest was further piqued by this:



I don't want any famous last words, but this does look like the fastest ticket to my 1st CL ever - and it'll be a tantalising prospect even if I'm not the most willing to change.

Now it's Everton's turn to be in with 30 mil for Sissoko - where's Deano and Mikel when you need them?

In other news Marcos Alonso is confirmed for Chelsea, while Luiz is on his way with Cuadrado going back to Juve.
I'd laugh but if Conte can thrive with an Italian squad which included Giaccherini these two will be manageable.

It's basically an annual thing now, at least they had the 'courtesy' to warn us about it this time round.

Though there is also our local custom of sending hell notes to our ancestors (literally setting paper on fire) which while is nowhere near as bad as setting forests on fire, doesn't put us in a good light either.

Being backup won't do him any good, he needs game time.

And yes Jenkinson is back, hopefully he remembers what Allardyce taught him.

Mustafi is basically here so that's him, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Gabriel and Holding for 2 CB slots.

Furthermore if Rob Holding - fresh off relegation to League One with Bolton - comes in and gets ahead of you in the pecking order you've not done well for yourself, so hopefully he can get something resembling respectable form at Boro.

Would've much preferred he went to Hull though, Phelan seems to have a hell of a way with a defence.

And how's this for a proper complaint about the weather - Indonesia setting fire to its own forests and polluting the air for the rest of the region.

Not had a go at my FM save since the start of Uni - between my laptop going to pot and the inability to grasp the fundamentals of physics, math and circuit theory any sort of 'fun' I've had in that time is Clash fucking Royale.

Oh look it's the Europeans complaining about the heat