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#479050 [FM18] The Ultimate Jacob's Ladder
Eric Portapotty
We started awfully with a convincing loss against defending champions and title favourites Veitongo - 3ST formations OP obviously.
A great bounce back followed (Taufahema with his shooting boots on), but we couldn't build on that, settling on a frustrating goalless draw against Marist.
A second hat-trick followed, as we scored 6 goals in 2 games and looked on course to keep pace with Veitongo at least.
But no, another misifiring performance against Ha'amoko to see out this half of the league campaign with thoughts of 'what might have been'.
Especially when Ahi-o did us a real solid by handing Veitongo their first defeat of the season, to keep us within touching distance of the leaders for now.
We seriously need to get grinding when the going gets tough though - we've seen how we can blow teams away when the attack's on song, but the 2 goalless draws highlight a lack of cutting edge at times.
We also got to welcome our first youth intake:
Take the "Golden Generation" with a pinch of salt, what with the comparative (lack of) ability from our existing bunch and my assistant's rather flawed judgement of players.
And it's not like any of them will fulfil their potential with our existing facilities anyway.
That said, he's not entirely wrong - Mark Taufahema looks like he'll challenge for the centreback spots already, right out of the gate.
Teuhema is very raw as a striker at this point, but he looks more than willing to put in the shifts, which paired with his decent pace is a useful combination for us.
#478915 [FM18] The Ultimate Jacob's Ladder
Eric Portapotty
-----------------------
Seems like we're not tipped for greatness by the bookies, and since I have literally no idea how we compare to our competition I'll probably have to take their word for it.
It doesn't help that the rest of the league (the rest of the nation at that) has refused to play in friendlies with us, with only 2 other Major League clubs organising any preseason games at all.
As a result preseason was spent entirely with the youth team, where Lokoua Taufahema taught them all a lesson or two in finishing.
What this 'preseason' did highlight was the holes we had, which necessitated a couple of signings:
Uhatahi's a much better passer that his god-awful attributes would have you believe, and he demonstrated that with dominating midfield performances in the preseason runouts.
Faupula also trialled at the club, but he wasn't signed until a few weeks after he left - the defensive partners for Kevin Nau were increasingly shown to be not up to scratch, and so another proper defender was needed.
Having been absolutely sick of the sheer lack of available Tongans to sign, I started looking abroad to lower-ranked countries for any potential gems. Wouldn't you know it, I found two:
It's pretty damn hard to go lower in the rankings than Tonga, and Tuvalu managed that by not being in the Fifa rankings at all.
A cursory look at their home page showed these two players without clubs, but apparently 2 of the better Tuvaluans as well.
Well that's not saying much as it turned out - Alesana's only traits of note are his versatility and pace (though he did fire in a cracker of a shot in preseason) while Siopepa only has the latter to even speak of.
----------------
While partaking in the utter tedium of playing my youth team for the millionth time, I received a couple of alternative offers:
Now these jobs wouldn't require me to quit my club job, whilst also providing some actual competitive football, so it's basically a no-lose scenario.
I ended up choosing East Timor because 1) it seems way too unrealistic to earn a gig at India or Indonesia (2nd most populous nation in the world and football-mad regional powerhouse respectively); and 2) East Timorese players are probably more inclined to take a step down to Tonga than Indian or Indon players.
The tenure started off positively, with wins over Maldives and Malaysia bringing about positive vibes for the qualification stage.
Alas our luck (and it really was luck - Godinho's goal was a way early cross that evaded the Malaysian GK's grasp and fell into the net) quickly deserted us in the face of actual quality in the form of the Koreans.
The shock loss to Brunei was a bitter end to a promising campaign.
I don't think we'dve qualified regardless, but finishing bottom was a real kick in the teeth, especially after our winning start.
We did have the SEA Games after that, so maybe, just maybe we could redeem ourselves before U23 duty comes to a conclusion:
So much for that.
In hindsight I probably set the team up way too defensively, which led to complete toothlessness in front of goal - a change to a more proactive approach did give us the comeback win over Brunei, but it was too little too late in the other games.
In the one game where a negative game plan was warranted, we promptly got eviscerated by the Vietnamese.
Absolutely awful.
I probably shouldn't have persisted with wingers (only 3 RM/RWs in a player pool of around 80) but oh well, this was never a priority in the bigger picture.
#478173 [FM18] The Ultimate Jacob's Ladder
Eric Portapotty
I'd forgotten how much of a faff managing in amateur-level teams was tbh, I don't know how you managed to keep yours going for so long
#477921 [FM18] The Ultimate Jacob's Ladder
Eric Portapotty
Well erm.... I can't say I know a lot about Tongan football....
I do know of their players now though:
Pretty much your typical lower league squad, with a bunch of (still very competent) veterans hard carrying some absolute wastemen:
Save for Taufahema, who's probably got his age gotten completely wrong by the SI data boffins anyway, unless he was indeed playing in goal as a toddler.
Fantastic to have a half-decent stopper though, one less area to worry about.
Shit, another Taufahema - this time he's our oldest player and our best, according to my assistant anyway. He's definitely playing up top, not wasting that poaching ability.
Being able to jump is nice, but it's negated with the lack of strength or heading ability - though of course beggars can't be choosers.
Having a specialist leftback as good as him pretty much confirms that we'll be playing a back 4 I think, though I'll need to find someone who can play on the right.
#477915 [FM18] The Ultimate Jacob's Ladder
Eric Portapotty
In accordance with the challenge requirements I've only loaded the leagues from the bottom 11 nations and went without badges or experiences to start.
Cue the job applications...
And the inevitable barrage of replies - as usual I'll just take the first reply in my inbox.
#477906 [FM18] The Ultimate Jacob's Ladder
Eric Portapotty
Said challenge here
Well Uni's been finally dealt with, so there's finally time for FM without the risk of blowing up my grades even more.
And on to a new challenge - with over 200 nations to manage in it'll likely take over 300 seasons to complete, which if my patience allows for it would take me the best part of a half decade I reckon.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stage One: Tonga/Somalia/Eritrea/ Bahamas/Anguilla/Turks And Caicos Islands/Montserrat/British Virgin Islands/ San Marino/Cayman islands/Pakistan
Tonga Major LeagueSomalia:
Somalie Premier League,Somalie Cup,Somalie Super CupEritrea:
Eythree Premier League, Eythree Cup,Eythree Super CupBahamas:
Bahamas Senior League,Bahamas President's Cup,Charity ShieldAnguilla:
AFA League,AFA Knockout Cup,Anguilla President's CupTurks And Caicos Islands:
WIV Provo Premier League, Turks and Caicos Islands President's CupMontserrat:
Montserrat ChampionshipBritish Virgin Islands:
BVIFA National Football League,Wendol Williams Cup,Terry Evans CupSan Marino:
Campionato Sammarinese, Coppa Titano, Super Coppa SammarineseCayman islands:
CIFA Foster's National League,CIFA FA Cup,President's Cup,Community ShieldPakistan:
Pakistan Premier League,National Football Challenge CupStage Two: Sri Lanka / US Virgin Islands / Samoa / Djibouti / Brunei / Gibraltar / Bangladesh/ Cook Islands / American Samoa /Timor-Leste
US Virgin Islands: US Virgin Islands Championship
Samoa: Samoan National League, Samoa Cup
Djibouti: Djibouti Premier League, Djibouti Cup
Brunei: Liga Super Brunei, Bruneian Premier League, Bruneian FA Cup, Bruneian Super Cup
Gibraltar: Argus Insurance Premier Division, Argus Insurance Second Division, Gibraltar Rock Cup, Argus Insurance Division Two League Cup, Pepe Reyes Cup
Bangladesh: Nitol Tata Bangladesh Premier League, Premier Bank Championship League, Citycell Federation Cup, Bangladeshi Independence Cup, Grameenphone Super Cup
Cook Islands: Cook Islands Round Cup, Cook Islands Cup
American Samoa: FFAS Senior League, FFAS President's Cup
Timor-Leste: East Timorese Football League Premier Division, East Timorese Football League Second Division, East Timorese Taca 12 de Novembro, East Timorese Super Cup
Stage Three: Guam / Aruba / Seychelles / Sao Tome e Principe / Mongolia / Macau / Malta / Bhutan / Guyana / Cuba
Stage Four: Liechtenstein / Laos / Bermuda / Dominica / Moldova / Chad / Puerto Rico / St Vincent and the Grenadines / Gambia / Malaysia
Stage Five: St Lucia / Singapore / Grenada / Papua New Guinea / Cambodia / Fiji / Indonesia / Belize / Vanuatu / Nepal
Stage Six: Barbados / Kuwait /Liberia / Tahiti / South Sudan / Mauritius / New Caledonia / Suriname / Ethiopia / Dominican Republic
Stage Seven: Maldives/ Comoros / Burundi / Lesotho / Guatemala / Afghanistan / Solomon Islands Equilateral Guinea / Hong Kong / Kosovo
Stage Eight: Tanzania / Botswana / Myanmar / Angola / Rwanda / St Kitts and Nevis / Swaziland / Yemen / Nicaragua / Andorra
Stage Nine: Turkmenistan / Latvia / Sudan / Antigua and Barbuda / Lithuania / Togo / Chinese Taipei / Malawi / Thailand
Stage Ten: Guinea-Bissau / New Zealand / Zimbabwe / Tajikistan / Kazakhstan / Namibia / Philippines / Mozambique / Bahrain / Kenya
Stage Eleven: Sierra Leone / Jordan / Central African Republic / North Korea / Mauritania / Madagascar / Azerbaijan / Haiti / Niger / Vietnam
Stage Twelve: Libya / Armenia / Palestine / Qatar / India /Georgia / Uzbekistan / Estonia /Israel / Kyrgyz Republic
Stage Thirteen: Trinidad and Tobago / Faroe Islands / Iraq / Benin / Cyprus / Luxembourg / Gabon / Oman /Congo / Uganda
Stage Fourteen: Curacao / Canada / Lebanon / Belarus / UAE / Zambia / China / South Africa / Syria / El Salvador
Stage Fifteen: Macedonia / Russia / Guinea / Ivory Coast / Saudi Arabia / Algeria / Cape Verde / Mali / Finland / Honduras
Stage Sixteen: Japan / Ecuador/ Bolivia / Albania / South Korea / Slovenia / Panama / Jamaica / Norway / Burkina Faso
Stage Seventeen: Hungary / Cameroon / Bulgaria / Nigeria /Ghana / Czech Republic / Egypt / Greece / Montenegro / Scotland
Stage Eighteen: Morocco / Bosnia and Herzegovina /DR Congo / Turkey / Iran / Australia / Ukraine / Serbia / Venezuela / Paraguay
Stage Nineteen: Ireland / Romania / Northern Ireland / Slovakia / Senegal / Austria / USA/ Sweden / Costa Rica / Iceland /
Stage Twenty: Tunisia / Italy / Croatia / Wales / Holland / Colombia / Mexico / Uruguay / England /Denmark
Final Stage: Peru / Spain / Chile / Poland / France / Switzerland / Argentina / Portugal / Belgium / Brazil / Germany
#477777 2019/20 Premier League
Eric Portapotty
#477196 Tennis Thread
Eric Portapotty
Well this aged well
Anyone think Thiem has a chance against Nadal?
#476524 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
We need a refresh
#476325 2018/19 Europa League
Eric Portapotty
Lyon apparently, don't know how it works but word on the street is that it's them
#475828 The Armoury
Eric Portapotty
If they follow in the ways of the bald git then it's all smoke and mirrors again
#474976 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
He's just in that tier of manager that's all good with promoting teams, but lacks that bit of extra to keep them up - shame, because he's a sound bloke otherwise.
#474928 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
meh
#474749 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
lmao
Welcome bruv, we'll have to say goodbye to @terriersmad as well
#474362 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
Where you been bruv?
#474361 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
\o/
Well I celebrate, it's not like Arsenal are covering themselves in glory either
#473994 The Lower League Thread
Eric Portapotty
Tbh it was coming wasn't it, I don't know much about Yeovil but you lot were always struggling
#473616 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
Well not worse than Arsenal tbh smh
#472180 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
#471878 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
Trying to plug so many holes left by departing loanees was always going to cause teething problems
Surprised how they never got themselves out of that rut though
#470409 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
#468940 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
#466393 What Was The Last Film You Saw?
Eric Portapotty
What a terrible movie
#465442 The Italian Football Thread
Eric Portapotty
Heh, was cancelled in the end
Think he would've done well in Italy though
#463467 2018/19 Transfer Rumours
Eric Portapotty
#462615 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
This Ozil farce... Oh smfh
Why does this have to be the hill that Emery wants to die on, this and Ramsey
Also, FUCK GAZIDIS AND KROENKE, twats
#461987 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
Ehhhh, uni still, absolutely ballsed it up so ehhhhhhh
So you've got a 2nd child now?
#461040 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
#458589 What Was The Last Film You Saw?
Eric Portapotty
Amber Heard as a redhead was something I didn't know I needed in my life - heck I'm surprised she's still getting roles after that shitshow with Johnny Depp
#458540 2018/19 Barclays Premier League
Eric Portapotty
Who now?