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I got one of those iPad thingies for my birthday earlier this year, so I'm gonna give this diary a shot. Blimey, autocorrect really is rather good isn't it? Why bother hiring somebody to write my autobiography? I can do it all myself!

Anyway, here comes another season. My 21st, I started at Bournemouth in 1983. Last year left the whole team really gutted, and we've had to change things up a bit in a bid to get promoted back to the Prem staright away. Q.P.R are a good bunch of lads though, from the players right down to Alfie, the club cook. I'm sure we can get back straight away.

It was great to be back at the training ground, although I must tell Tony to spend some bloody money on a new set of showers. They hardly work, and you don't want to catch a whiff of an unwashed Bobby Zamora if you can help it.

Everyone has got back to work well, and we go to Germany on a pre-season tour in couple of days time. It should be a good test, and hopefully we won't pick up any injuries before we start the season against Sheffield Wednesday in a few weeks time.

Meanwhile, in the few days since coming back together, Joey's Twitter has provided great entertainment as it always does, while Nedum decided it would good fun to fill my car up with those bloody styrofoam pellets as a welcome back prank, but I didn't like that. His punishment was to do Bobby Zamora's washing, so I don't think he'll do anything like that again.

Finally, we welcomed new boys Danny Simpson and Karl Henry to the club. Karl has already made it very clear that if anyone nicks his Liquorice All Sorts, they will regret for a long time to come. And I believe him, which is why I've locked them in a safe in my office. Health and safety, you know.

Tony's told me that Charlie Austin and Matt Phillips could be joining later in the summer, and I've also put forward a few Spurs players I'd like to see at Loftus Road, namely Benoit Assou Ekotto, Niko Kranjcar and Tom Carroll. Hopefully the Malaysian Master can work something out, as they're great lads.

So guten tag, I'm off to Germany. Back soon with more.

Good to see you back around the forum, great introduction and concept, good luck!

Thanks! Good to be back. Hopefully this format will make me stick with the story a bit longer.





Just got back from Germany with a couple of those giant beer glasses, but unfortunately not a couple of wins. We were playing two lower division German teams, so we really should have one both games. The first game against Mannheim was a walk in the park, we won 2-0 with Andy Johnson, Shaun Wright Phillips and Jermaine Jenas grabbing the goals. We didn't have any problems, except the squirrel that decided to streak across the pitch early in the second half. Andy scored an absolute cracker, it has to be said.

The problem was the second game against Trier. We were bloody awful. We couldn't put anything away even though we had the chances, and that came back to bite us in the arse in the second half, when they scored a free kick and an easy finish which we shouldn't have let them have. Andy got a consolation goal late, but it wasn't good enough. Possession means nothing unless you score. We didn't do that, so we lost. I experiemented with Julio in goal that game, obviously didn't go too well.

Off the pitch our trip was good fun, I tried a currywurst which was surprisingly good and the lads decided it would be fun to go to a brewery, although they couldn't get pissed as Joe Jordan was there to supervise. I can't tell say anymore. As they say, what happens on tour stays on tour.

That's all for this week, we go up to Scotland next for a game against Wick Academy, and then I'll have to get thinking about the opener against Sheffield Wednesday.

Auf widersehn, or whatever they say, back soon with more.

This was supposed to be a positive week, but bugger me one thing has overshadowed everything else. I decided to play the young uns against Wick Academy, but unfortunately our Korean full back Yun Suk Young did his cruciate. The doc says he'll be out for 10-12 months, in other words the season and maybe even the start of next season as well.

I'm absolutely gutted for the lad, as he'd shown some good things in training, and he would have been a useful player to have around. Hopefully he'll get back to full fitness, but with injuries as bad as his, you just don't know.

We did win the match 3-1, Junior Hoilett scored two goals for us. It still wasn't a convincing performance on our part, and conceding that goal wasn't at all reassuring. We still have things to sort out before our season opener against the Owls.

Our trip to Scotland didn't last long, and a lot of the first teamers didn't make the trip (they stayed home and did god knows what), but the hotel was nice and I actually got a good night's sleep for once.

Having said that, Joe Jordan did throw a wobbly with a waitress who gave him the wrong coffee. You do not ever want to mess with that man, ask Gennaro Gattuso.

We've got one more friendly before Sheffield Wednesday, so we'll iron out any problems and hopefully get a good result when the season starts.

Gotta go, my bulldogs need walking and I haven't had much exercise.

I've got two words for you diary: Angelo Balanta. Normally one our reserves, I decided to start him against Luzern and boy that was a good decision. We were up 2-0 at half time because of him, he scored one and created the other. The second half wasn't so good, we conceded two goals and could have quite easily lost the game. Some tactical tweaking is definitely needed.

Balanta has definitely staked his claim for a place on the bench against Sheffield Wednesday, but we'll see how he trains leading up to the game. I'm all for giving yougsters a chance, and I think he deserves another shot after such a great performance.

Off the pitch issues this week include getting somebody in to fix my TV back home (it drives the missus crazy that she can't watch Strictly) and asking Tony about transfers. I quite fancy the look of Oguchi Onyewu, who's looking for a club, and his agent says he's keen on a move to Rangers. Hopefully Tony will figure something out with regards to salary, I have no clue about any of that stuff.

Anyway, next diary will either see me in a very bad mood, or delighted that we've won our opener against Sheffield. More coming soon from the Redknapp residence.

I'm just not felling this, sorry. Wrong style for me to write in. Tried something different, but not 100% comfortable with it. This can be closed. I'm sure I'll back with something I'll stick to (I haven't completed one full season in any of my stories yet).