Short Stories

Story number 1 is set in Northern ireland, home nation one of the most gifted footballers ever to walk this earth: George Best. The most successful club here is Linfield, a team that has strong affiliations with Scottish giants Glasgow Rangers. The Windsor Park side have won 56 titles since their formation in 1886 but have seen upstarts Larne take the 2022-23 crown from them. Larne of course, are bankrolled by Kenny Bruce: he of Purple Bricks fame.

But we're going to try and get a new kid on the block in the honours. We have chosen to pick the following side, and have set ourselves a target of trying to win the top flight title inside a maximum of 15 seasons.

PSNI play at a semi professional standard in the third tier of the Northern Irish league, a long way from the standard of the team we are planning to topple in time. With limited transfer funds, actually we have no money to spend, and very little in the bank: we have very little wriggle room at the moment.

Of the current 39 player squad, 10 are leaving for new teams as of 1 July 2023 as they have agreed terms elsewhere with another confirmed to leave in the January transfer window and three more considering offers. However there 13 incoming arrivals coming to counter the departures. Therefore I'm expecting we will have to wheel and deal a plenty in the first few seasons to build up the finances until we get established properly.

We are expected to finish 14th in season one which is bottom of the Premier Intermediate League. Hence, they are expecting a season of struggle for us. Can we disprove the predicted league finish?

One written rule for all stories, the story only ends when the objective is achieved or we get given our P45.

Wish us luck!

Obviously due to the high turnover of players, the side will be rotated around to see which players do well and as a result I will be reliant very much on my coaches as I don't have an assistant manager: anyway the only interested assistant managers are asking for much more than we can afford to pay them.

That said I'm hopeful we can get a relatively cheap Director of Football and Chief Scout in place before the season actually starts whilst putting out an advertisement for a number two.

Our first game will be what we term a bounce game between the first and second strings with senior coach Kyle McDowell helping pick the sides in question. Due to the gap between the first and second friendlies, I'm hoping to get additional friendlies in place so we have at least one game a week before the season does start. More games, the more chance the team will gel and match fitness increases.

There's a method in the madness.

24 hours after taking the reins, we had said bounce game behind closed doors.



I opted to play a 4-3-3 formation but with the emphasis of playing what seems to be far from pure football, playing a lone striker but supplemented by wingers on either side and a box to box central midfield. Not the prettiest style but if it gets us results then I won't care about it one little bit.

The side named for the bounce game was as follows:

McCauley; McCullagh, Ferguson, Mitchell, Courtney; Wharry; Wilson ©, Owens; Roy, Turkington, Tumelty. Subsititutes: Magill, Briers, Cochrane, Moore, McConkey, McEneaney, Capper.

Predictably, the first team came out on top in the game with left winger Nicholas Turkington drilling home inside the first minute following a long goal kick from 'keeper Ben McCauley. The second goal came eight minutes before half time when Turkington's inswinging corner from the right was met by a thumping header from veteran central defender Andrew Ferguson. The scoring was completed on the hour with that man Turkington again involved, his left wing cross being turned in at the near post by substitute Henry Capper.

All the substitutes were given some game time; which is something that we are looking to do through pre-season.

Turkington took the man of the match award for his goal and two assists.


Three days after that pre-season game, the squad had it's first re-shaping with no less than ten players leaving us on pre-arranged transfers. We got three newcomers in on the same day:

18 year old central defender Joel Moore, released by Ballyclare
20 year old Romanian left winger Raul Zabrauteanu, who was on H&W Welders' books last season
37 year old veteran Gary Brown, joining us for a second spell after spending the last nine plus seasons at Ards Rangers. Gary spent six seasons with us between 2007 and 2013, and has also been on the books of top flight sides Larne, Linfield, Crusaders, Glentoran and Glenavon.

New deals were also agreed with a good handful of the squad, all are non-contract basis which is how a lot of teams outside the top two divisions operate. We also agreed new deals for Ferguson, who scored in the bounce game, and Jordan O'Brien until the end of the season as well as starting the search for an assistant manager. Offers have been made to prospective candidates that could fill the Director of Football and Chief Scout positions as well.

We have two new confirmed friendlies to the schedule, these are going to be played against Queens University Belfast reserve team and divisional rivals Tobemore United on consecutive Saturdays. The Queens game will be on 8 July, Tobemore on 15 July.

Start of July 2023:

Couple more new faces to the squad, taking the newcomers total to five. Please welcome to the Dub, the following guys:

20 year old right back Jon Birnie, Jon started his career at Dungannon Swifts and most recently at Queens University so will be on very familiar surroundings indeed.
20 year old striker Jonathan Doyle, Jonathan played 13 games for Lisburn Distillery last season (scoring twice) and started his career at Carrick Rangers for whom he made a single appearance for.

We have also offered a new deal to highly rated striker Jake Moore whom I'm led to believe is the best prospect we have had in recent years.

Welcome to the Dub as well are two new backroom members. Sammy Kerr has filled the void of Chief Scout whilst Callum McGuigan is the new Director of Football. I'm looking forward to working with both. Sammy's first task will be to attend the annual trial day game on 6 July and see if any possible signings can emerge.

Our second pre-season match was played on 8 July as our preparations continue.



The side against Queens Reserves would be as follows:

Magill; McCullagh, Ferguson, Mitchell, McEneaney; Brown; Wilson ©, Blackstock; Zabrauteanut, Turkington; Jake Moore. Substitutes: McVeigh, Briers, Cochrane, Doyle, Graham, Verenka, Capper, Lavorca, Hanna, Thompson, Woods, Devlin, Worthington, Millar-Wilson, McLaughlan.

Once more we racked plenty of chances, twenty plus for the same match going. We thought we had taken the lead in the 23rd minute when striker Raul Zabrauteanu latched onto a loose ball to drill it home. However, striker Jake Moore had drifted into an offside position. The deadlock was broken in the 54th minute; Jake McEneaney with the corner and a thumping far post header from central defender Ben Mitchell into the top corner. We paid the price for missing chances with 16 minutes to go, a Nigel Tipping cross wasn't cleared properly by McEneaney and Adam Green headed it in the path of James McCammon who made no mistake.

More updates coming soon.

Once the season actually does begin seriously, then expect my usual style of graphics to come to the fore. Only doing basic ones for the first pre-season schedule whilst I get used to getting back into the groove again.