Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
One might argue that starting this story in 2034 is skipping out on a lot of the meat. But put it this way, you're missing out on the most boring part of the story.



Ten years in Greece? Six fucking around in Russia? That's all time wasted. Your time, that would have been wasted, if I hadn't so generously excluded you from the torture of having to holiday the first three rounds of every cup competition I've been involved in for at least nineteen years.

Put it this way, you're getting in just at the right time. Base camp has been made, you've had some boiling water, and now we're trying for the summit. Fuck sherpas, we're going solo. Like Derulo.



Cont.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
So where does that bring us?

It is January 2034 and we're in Hong Kong. Hong Kong's alright. Well, except for the small fact there's no talent. Put it this way, I can't even get an assistant manager:



There's literally no one interested in the job, not one Hong-Kong (enese/ian? you decide) person available. Times are so shit I'm forced to attend my own press conferences like some sad competition winner who actually think managing a football club is fun.

Anyway, here's how we're doing:



Pretty shitty. But there's still time left. And, to be fair, I won't stop until I've won every league. I don;t care if I get sacked, they can't stop me.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
The key to good management? Being in the right place, at the right time.





Sun Source are all but guaranteed relegation, and I really didn't want to be saddled with that baggage. Fortunately South China inexplicably sacked their manager, despite being only a point off the top of the league. So I did the honourable thing and left the bad club for a better one. I've left Sun Source in a great position, with six more foreigners than is allowed in the match day squad, and healthy staff consisting of a physio and a scout. Children will be told of my mythical reign for generations to come...
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
Three games against the three worst teams in the league later and I am now the proud owner of dustbin lid that says "Hong Kong Premier League Winner". I took full credit for this win.





I've already quit, I'm not hanging around in this dumpster-fire of a league.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
July 2034



The sun rises on my new tenure as manager of some club in India. That's what it says on my business card, by the way.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned




And this is the man who'll be leading me to glory. No idea how he's found his way into the miasma that is Indian football, but I'll use him all the same.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned




And with that, my time in India comes to a close. It was quick, and despite the closeness of the league, actually rather easy. They key was having a really good Irishman.

The only thing I can say in the positive is that I wish all leagues were 20 games long. I'm dreading Brazil, where if I get bogged down I'm looking at eight or ten seasons playing 70 odd games. I shudder when I think about it. But that's a long ways away, onto the next league...
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
June 6th 2035



I'm sure most people are familiar with South Korea, and Jeonbuk, one of the larger sides in Asia. They're currently third in the K-League after their manager left to join the 6th place team, Ulsan. I guess he must really love Ulsan, or hate Jeonbuk. Either way, his loss is my gain because I couldn't have asked for a better situation to move into. I'm not expecting quite as rapid a league title as I've seen in Hong Kong and India, but this is definitely a far better situation than I anticipated.
Ipswich Knights
10 years ago
5 years ago
1,392
haha love it your a funny man
Sankalan
9 years ago
1 year ago
169
I do understand that south asian football may seem childish to you but still it is football none the less.
With due respect to your humour, it would be better in you stop using derogatory adjectives when refering to the league trophies
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
Where have I insulted league trophies?
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned




Three in a row doesn't sound too bad. I signed three solid players to utilise in my preferred 4-2-3-1 formation and they were effective, coupled with Jeonbuk's already talented side. I'm disappointed we didn't do any better in the ACL, and I have to make a decision now whether I stay and try to win that, or swiftly move onto another club elsewhere. Decisions.

In other news, shout out to my boy Pingo. He's good at football, and has a cool name.

Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
I had a think and realised I'd get bored after having won the league, so I quit.

February 2036



We arrive in Indonesia. Time to start playing some hot football. We're 16th in the league, I can taste the fun already.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
June 2036



Good recovery by the team, and we've got some decent young players. I'd hope to break the top six next season.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned




One of the best/worst nicknames I've seen a Brazilian given. He's a banging player though.

Just some general admin on the transfer front, removing foreigners (there's a 3 foreign player limit) and I had to spend big money to bring in a competent goalkeeper. He was the only four star goalkeeper I could find, everyone available on a free was no more than one and a half stars.



That's what £205k gets you. That's insanity.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned


I'll give you one guess to tell me when you think the injuries began.



It's fine, it's not like I have anything better to do in my life. I'm enjoying this.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
The hits keep on coming.





Someone really doesn't want to make this easy. In the game I just won I had to play a defender up front.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
Seriously, this has become cancerous now.





When was the last time you had THREE of your goalkeepers injured? fuck's sake. And this is who I have to step up:



I've had problems with injuries in this game since 2015, but this has taken it to another level which just makes me so, so happy.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
20th June 2037



So close. If we hadn't been shafted by injuries it's very likely we would have won the league. Our extended run in the Indonesian Cup (which we came third in, because India has a bronze medal trophy game just to really rub the salt in) didn't help as well meaning a lot of our games were bunched together. I like football, but not four games in eight days football.

Still, there are major positives and two great signings should put us in a position to win the league.



My boy Dude broke records left, right, and centre, so as long as he can stay fighting fit we're going to be there.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
December 2037



Nothing special on the transfer front. Just some backup players in case we have injury problems. I don't want to be playing defenders as wingers again.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
27th June 2038









And with that, I'm done. I'm actually sad to be leaving Indonesia, it's been one of the most fun managerial stints I've engaged in. The quality of the football was awful, but it was still a fun game to hone a decent tactic (4-4-2 formation based for those that are interested) to add to my growing collection. I'm still waiting for the moment I can employ a sweeper, just for varieties sake.

I'm not going to hang around in Indonesia, it's time to press on. I've only got four nations left to conquer in Asia: Australia, China, Malaysia, and Singapore. I've managed in all but China before. My particular fondness was for Singapore, who years ago had a team whose mandate was to only employ African players, but they don't exist any longer. Anyway, time to quit and see where I can get a job.
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
9th August 2038



Right, now I'm going to bed.
Ipswich Knights
10 years ago
5 years ago
1,392
oh no not adelaide.
Up the mighty brisbane roar
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned


I'm actually surprised we did so well. This squad is old as fuck and it's only going to get worse as time goes on. Under normal circumstances that would be fine, except we're in Australia where every single aspect of player acquisition is governed by forty four rules. It's almost as if Australia loves rules, the joke writes itself, I'll leave it to you.

But seriously, just look at this shit:

- Maximum of four foreign players
- Maximum of 20 over-20 players
- Minimum of two goalkeepers
- Maximum salary of £26,500 excluding Marquee Players
- Maximum of one Marquee Player (including Australians)
- Maximum of one Australian Marquee Player
- Maximum of three Junior Marquee Players

Why is there a rule for Australian and non-Australian Marquee players? What are Junior Marquee Players? Why hasn't the salary cap risen with inflation? Why do I HAVE to HAVE two goalkeepers?

I hate Australia, and it's rules. I really don't want to play another season in this dump. I barely managed to put a squad together and the thought of spending years toiling away, only to be held up by arbitrary rules just hurts my head. I understand it's a living-within-means thing, but christ, why can't I choose to have 21 over-20 players, it's still the same money being spent.

Long story short, don't manage in Australia, I'd forgotten that was the rule I'd made for myself a few years ago after a failed attempt managing there once. Don't copy me, my life is a disaster.
Ipswich Knights
10 years ago
5 years ago
1,392
australia is the best so eat my dick mate !!!!!!!!!!
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned


That's great, but it doesn't count as the league win. So onto the next season.
Outlaw King
16 years ago
4 days ago
371
Premium
australia is the best so eat my dick mate !!!!!!!!!!


LOL

So funny that the Aussies and Asians have taken offence

In all seriousness tho, this is quite interesting...keep it up
Ipswich Knights
10 years ago
5 years ago
1,392
hahahha im very passionate about my country and I make no apology
Fantastic
14 years ago
9 months ago
2,496
Banned
It's a shit league for shit cunts. Deal with it.
Ipswich Knights
10 years ago
5 years ago
1,392
its a great league and one of the best to watch cause its so tight. unlike basically all leagues in the world. Will not be following this peice of shit thread again cause of your foul mouth you disrepectful turd

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