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Telegram Sam
What's the difference between vaginal and anal sex?
*bad dum tish*
Eric Portapotty
Zog
Obtuse
Deano
Slashman X
The sheriff takes the criminals to the town square, handcuffs them posts and sets up shop. He tells the people that the punishment should fit the crime so anyone can pay $1 to kick the rapist in the groin. Since the con artist used his image to wrong his victims, anyone can pay $1 to hit him in the face.
After a while there are two long lines for the criminals. Some people paying $5, $10, even $15 to get their licks in. After a long while, a guy steps up for his turn and sees the con artist’s face is a bloody pulp and thinks “He’s so beat up at this point, he probably can’t even feel anything anymore. I’m not going to waste my money on that.” So the guy walks up and kicks the con artist squarely in the groin.
The sheriff sees this and hurries over and says, “Hey son, you can’t do that here.”
The man asks, “Why not?”
And the sheriff replies, “Because this is the punch line.”
Slashman X
Getting into a taxi, he explains his plight to the cabbie. He offers to leave his drivers license or anything else until he can mail the fare to the taxi driver.
"You ain't got ten bucks for the cab fare to the airport? Get out of my cab!" yelled the taxi driver.
The man walks to the airport, flies home, and for the next year, he works very hard, and builds back his fortune. He goes back to Vegas, and this time he wins big.
Feeling good about himself, he steps out of his hotel to leave for the airport. At the end of a long line of taxis, he sees the cab driver who refused to help him last year in his hour of need.
He immediately figures out a way to get even with this guy.
He gets into the first taxi and asks what the fare to the airport is. "Ten dollars." says the driver. He then asks how much for a blow job. "What? Get out of my cab."
He proceeds down the line of taxis repeating the process and getting the same results.
He finally gets into the cab with his old friend, and asks him how much to get to the airport. "Ten bucks," says the driver. "Good." he says to the driver.
And as they cruise past all the other drivers in their cabs, he gives them all a smile and a thumbs up.
Eric Portapotty
the insider
rossiheslopi
Because when they come they're wild and wet but when they leave they take you're house, car and money
DMT Abuse
I doubt you can even get reception at the bottom of a lake.
VP.
Telegram Sam
The wheelchair.
rossiheslopi
It was a nightmare - he wouldn't stop nudging me
Hammer100
Too soon?
Ninja
jumberto
Hammer100
Touche both.
I'm always late to the parties, I'm surprised I got an invite this time.
K3V0
Telegram Sam
There's no fucking way that you hadn't seen that joke before.
K3V0
I've practically been at work my entire life the last two weeks and been sleeping.
I found it funny, I've seen it before though, leave me alone CALLUM!!!
Telegram Sam
It's not you. I've seen that joke about 25 times today. Twitter has made me want the world to end.
K3V0
Oh I see... This is the it's not you, it's me bullshit.
Well then goodbye sir, I never really loved you anyway (Corrs song plays lightly in the background).
Telegram Sam
K3V0
Tbf back in the day the three girls would have got it hard.. Not sure what they look like these days!!
Justicar
You might have to thumb it in, in that case.