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DMT Abuse
Also, started unemployed with Sunday League reputation to enhance the realism of a not-so-well-known artist delving into the world of football management.
Had loaded up only Scandinavia; and 5 major nations (Holland, Germany, Spain, Italy and France- all for any later hopes in the save) as I'd never managed there before on any FM.
Skellefteå were the team that eventually picked me; most sides I applied for and then was offered jobs by were in the fourth tiers of both Norway and Sweden; whilst Skellefteå were the sole third tier that accepted me, so it was the natural choice.
Predicted to finish 12th out of the 14, I'm hoping to stay up; but I'm confident enough for a mid-table finish at least.
DMT Abuse
Pre-season 2014
I inherited a pretty average squad; capable of survival but nothing more; we were in a okay financial state and had a small budget of around £300 wage and £4k transfers; which was all eventually allocated to the wage budget to scout through the free transfers market.
Transfers
Eat your heart out Stalin; basically all of the new signings were 15 or 16 and got 1 year contracts on very low wages, (sustainable or what?) and a few were more experienced players to fill out positions where we were lacking.
In terms of staff; it's a nightmare with limits on coaches, meaning we're lacking a specialist coach for almost every area... we did manage to recruit a few and some scouts, but all in all it's very amateur with the board unable to fund any real progress there.
Fixtures
The fixtures went pretty well, winning the last 5 friendlies, after losing 3-0 to GIF Sundsvall and drawing against Umea, both higher tier sides. Their were some issues in regards to conceding towards the end; but there was a lot of experimentation in the team. The bizarre Swedish cup format meant 8 groups of 4, with the winner from each going into the quarter-finals was to be contested in March; and to be honest, the performances were excellent, we were just unlucky to play against Halmstad, Allsvenskan opponents, Elfsborg, also Allsvenskan and one of the best teams in the country; and GAIS, one of the top second tier sides.
We had good performances against all of them, and even came close to drawing with Elfsborg; but the final match, a win against GAIS that proved useless in terms of progression into the quarters, was very convincing and pleasing; hopefully a marker for the season ahead.
Squad
The squad that's been inherited was quite young in itself, but we've now got an average age of 19 thanks to a spree in the window. It is absolutely loaded with players that have second tier potential, some even top tier; but are currently suited to the current division, though this gives me faith that, with some persistence, we can steadily progress.
Now for the season ahead; hopefully we can secure our position in the league, survival is the only target, but I've a feeling we can spring a surprise this season, despite a relatively inexperienced and young side.
DMT Abuse
April
Fixtures
We'd lost the first 2, which was amazing (if you hate yourself). A relatively strong pre-season and I was full of hope, only for FM to dash it, via the medium of shit short passes and defensive errors that would leave Santiago Vergini speechless.
Defeats against sides around us and expected to be mid-table early on; not the best... and when we fell 1-0 down thanks to a stupid foul early on, I feared the worst and was 5 minutes away from going Amy Winehouse on myself.
74', 1-0 down... then madness descended. We scored.
Soon enough either they capitulated, or I inspired the bunch of Swedes to new heights. Instructions such as 'exploit the flanks', 'higher tempo' and my personal favourite 'exploit ball to flanks', we went 4-1 up.
Table
Turning point, or false dawn?
Of course it'll be a f****** false dawn.
DMT Abuse
May
Fixtures
A very mixed month. 2 wins, 2 draws and a defeat against sides that aren't too great; and the defeat to the side at the bottom of the table, their only win (naturally), and conceding 3 in 5 was definitely an improvement on the first month; but the lack of goalscoring was a bit of a shame. Onto the next month then, if we have any chance of promotion, we need a big push now...
Our 16 year old regista out for the month; false dawns and sobering thoughts...
Table
Still 8th, but the margins are so fine; that's what makes me hold on to the sofa and cry every time I misplace a pass at the back and contemplate whether life's all that. Moving on...
DMT Abuse
June
Fixtures
Hmm... nah, that's wrong. There's something wrong. We haven't won in 5, and paradoxically we haven't lost in 6. After a poor home draw against Frej; we had three consecutive away ties against teams near the top, so it was looking grim, and I had the Coldplay album on hold. We then went 2 up against Sylvia, who were top at the time, before it being pegged back to 2-2, as is always the f****** case. Ten shots of brandy later, the match ended. 3-3. Next up was Nyköping, who went on a winless streak of 5- that was bound to end here against the whipping boys; but again, false hope gave me that drunken happiness that was sure to crash down. And it did, 1-0 to them. It finished 1-1 after a goal soon after but it was hardly something to celebrate over. Next was 2nd place AFC United, like a wave of Sunderland matches crashing into me, I was looking forward to the next one less than the one before. It ended 2-2, after we were leading 2-0 with 30 minutes to go. I don't care.
What type of f****** name is AFC United, pondlife club. They can be resigned to the depths of history for all I care, scum.
And we had to face much of the month without our top defensive midfielder, top assister and winger, and top striker for the final game. When the going gets tough, the tough get f****** injured.
And then, as the month ended; I got this
Every cloud eh? If any record unbeaten streak takes you to the depths of your mind and questions your willingness to outlive your parents; it was this one.
Here's the team stats as we enter the one month summer break, where I plan on getting so p*ssed on Kopparberg and failed romance that I mightn't return to Swedish football, no real goalscorer has emerged, at least it's pretty evenly spread out; my keeper has the pass completion rate of a inner city secondary school- summing up the season so far.
Table
7 points off 2nd, 4 points ahead of 11th; kind of where I expected... hopefully the break will rejuvenate the impotent twats. June was the month of no wins and no defeats. Now for the party, tactical planning takes a back seat. We're playing 8-4-6-2 when we come back.
I've been looking at Alexa Chung for a while now so excuse the bad writing. Ciao.
Eric Portapotty
Dan
DMT Abuse
DanW19: Cheers, it gets more mixed as it goes on apparently.
Skellefteå FF
July
Fixtures
Que sera, sera. I arranged a friendly to boost fitness and let the players that haven't started, start. We won 5-0 against the same opposition we beat by 1 back in April; with a second team out, but it was back to normality against Vasalund, a side we should be beating; but of course we didn't. In fact, we fell behind late on and needed a 90th minute equaliser from Nils Karlsson.
4 goals in 2 starts for the 16 year old striker; for £6 a week I think he's worth it- and he's earned himself a spot in the coveted ST position... as the other one has been a bit shite.
Next, we won a match! It was a cup match against a side in the same tier, but the southern division- and we went 2-0 up, with Karlsson scoring; it then became 2-2 soon after with 2 goals in quick succession and I was contemplating a visit to a clinic, and as it went to extra time, I wanted to be put out of our misery. In fact, we won. 4-2, and it could have been more. Finally, a result other than a draw!
Our third keeper was sold to the Premier Division side Hacken for £3k, he wasn't playing so I let him go, just to keep the finances in check and not disrupt the morale.
Table
It's hard out here; we're not moving, but without a win we're going to fall into the abyss... 2nd place Dalkurd away next. Hmm...
DMT Abuse
August/September
Decided to make the posts 2 months long; otherwise I'd be making one after another and we wouldn't be moving much in them.
Fixtures
Well, August saw our first defeat in god knows how long, a 89th minute goal to do it as well, which didn't help my mental state- and also meant a team called 'Dalkurd' did the double over me. Sickening. We drew against f****** Huddinge, a shite side- and then lost to Norrkoping in the cup; they were a PL team and I rested my major players... they paid us £14k to have the tie at theirs as well, which was unique and nice for the bank.
It got to the stage where I hadn't won in 9, and needed to beat Valsta Syrianska, and it looked unlikely until a 88th minute winner from substitute Fredrik Espling- I'd got so accustomed to conceding late on, and there were scenes of recklessness and furniture abuse as we finally won, after 9 winless games in the league.
We got back to reality with a loss to rivals Lulea, 3-1, which was a nauseous and offensive display from the team, and characteristic of the season.
We then led Umea from the 1st minute to the 89th. Then they scored. Standard. Think I dislocated a finger after that f****** disaster.
We then arranged a team meeting, we needed to halt the trend- we were slipping into relegation.
1-0 down against top of the league away and I was thinking dark thoughts. We came back. And this comeback was the one that sparked our season; 4-1 the final result, away, against top of the league.
Next, 'Forward' - 2nd in the league. 2-0. Roll on. We led Brage 2-0, but they scored 2 in the last 15, normal service resumed. A shite draw against some mentally handicapped pricks. They were giving us the ball for 70 minutes, handing it us.
We needed to come back, and went 2-0 up (again) against Sylvia. They scored in the 70's and when they got highlight after highlight near the end, I was fearing the worst. WHY DO WE KEEP ON BOTTLING IT LATE ON? We somehow countered and scored a 93rd minute free-kick with Espling; 3-1.
4 wins in 5 eh? Too little too late, but hopefully a sign for next season. We could have charged for promotion if we didn't have the nerves of Michael J Fox in the last 20.
We're not going down, and the bunch of kids are going strong.
And when I say bunch of kids...
Average age 19, and that's just the starting XI- the reserves and bench are basically Sixth Form.
Table
4 matches to go- we're finishing distinctly mid table. I'd have been happy with that at the start considering we were just promoted into here... and I've been playing a bunch of 16 year olds throughout; hopefully they can progress into a second tier side next season, job done so far...
DMT Abuse
FM just finds way to piss you off, doesn't it? Top striker out for two thirds of a year. Wonderful. Great. F*** off.
DMT Abuse
End of season - 2014
Fixtures
2 wins; 1 with a 92nd minute winner. 1 where we were 3-0 up. FM, eh? Anyway, them two wins secured survival easily and pushed us on the road to ending up near enough 3rd, after being on the brink of relegation almost all season. A customary 0-0, and last matchday 4-1 defeat (used half of the second team, trialled a formation and went Overload for much of it) meant we ended in 6th. Not too bad. Injuries for our main DM, ST, CB and suspensions for others meant we weren't at full capacity to end the season.
4 players are going to leave the club; all of them weren't the best in their position. The only worry I had was not holding onto Enganche Jonas Desai; but he stayed after year long contract talks; making him now the highest earner.
Top goalscorer was the 16 year old Trequartista hero himself, Mats Henriksson; who was absolutely unreal for his first season, and can only get better.
The goals were well spread out; mainly due to injury hampering most of the main strikers' progress.
Financially, well, I don't really know what's going on
but I've got the wages on lock and I'm happy enough with it all.
Final table
To be honest, with an average age of 19, and many injuries hampering our top players; 6th is not the worst finish- and 6 defeats in 26 is good going; I just can't help but think what could have been if they didn't throw games at the end so often, maybe that's a psychological thing with how young the team are? Anyway, we roll on; promotion next season? That's the aim- we'll need to refine the team and focus on some issues, but season 1 is over and we've passed without major difficulty, 2015 now...
Dan
DMT Abuse
Pre-season 2015
Fixtures
Pretty ordinary, and mixed. Two great performances against Premier Division sides raised my hopes; we were 5-1 down against AIK despite having more shots and brought it back to 5-4, we probably deserved more. But the performances against sides around our level was again, much less convincing. I can't help but feel this squad isn't quite ready for a promotion charge; especially when it bottles so much.
Transfers
We brought in some more experience with the 29 year old defensive midfielder Kommenic, and Liberian striker Dewee; but also made bids for 3 16 year olds, all with 5* potential again. We needed a firesale to balance the books; and unfortunately that doesn't seem to have done the jobs as youth contracts automatically become professional- taking us into the red, for now.
A lot rests on this man, and he might well end up being the difference between the second tier, and the third tier. For now, night!
itchycoo
DMT Abuse
April-May
Fixtures
Better. At home it's 12 out of 12, away it's 4 from 9- so there is the obvious issue. Mind you, since I took charge we've only lost 2 of our 16 home matches in the league. We started well, lost our second match to newly-promoted Stromsberg, but 3 consecutive wins kept us in the chase. However, we were poor in both of the final matches and were lucky to have got 2 wins; which is both a bit nerving, but also reassuring as we'd have lost them last season.
Table
We're in 2nd- which is pretty good, but early on, it means little. Umea are steamrolling the league- and Vasteras are in the mix again after coming so close last season; and our next two matches are formerly second-tier Sirius, and 7 wins out of 7 Umea. Both away from home. Shit.
DMT Abuse
Seeing as I couldn't be arsed to play any more, and we'd reached the midpoint of the season- I decided to release an update instead of dual monthly ones this time. Not that it matters.
Mid-season update
Fixtures
First, an intense away trip to recently relegated Sirius, which we eventually overcame 2-1, though it was nervy- it was also a vital win on the road. Next, however, was Umea. They'd won 8 out of 8 and as previously mentioned, were breezing to promotion. They breezed past us as well. They were 3-0 up after 28 minutes, we got one back, but were always chasing and they suckerpunched us at the end. The next match was dubbed a 'must-win' (by me), and we lost it. At home to promoted Eskilstuna City, a shocking performance- though the loss of our main LB, CAM and ST definitely didn't help. Fucking shit, we're in 3rd and we need to bounce back. Dalkurd. F****** Dalkurd. They beat me twice last season, and I was determined not to let it happen again. It didn't, but a 0-0 was no use to me, we were dominated as well. So next, it really was a must win- after no wins in 3, we took on Vasalund at home, and boy did we smash them; our top players were back and Vasalund bore the brunt of 3 weeks of frustration. We then had the biggie. Vasteras away, 3rd vs 2nd (because we start with an S, they start with a V), and we needed a performance, and we destroyed them, effectively. 3-0 up, but another late goal conceded means that the last time we kept a clean sheet, Malaysia Airlines were a reputable travel provider.
Anyway, they offered me this after the Sirius game, and I was riding the crest of the wave so accepted; result
heaps of beauty in a thumbnail, that.
Table
So, at the mid-point, we're 2nd. 2 points above 3rd, 3 points above 4th and 5th. It's f****** tense up in here, but I feel as though we can do it as long as we avoid major injuries to our star players. Problem with that, our DM has just got injured for a couple of weeks, the fitness team is non-existent, and our physio may as well be f****** Stevie Wonder with his recovery projections. C'est la vie, eh? 13 games to go, it's getting closer...
Dan
DMT Abuse
I'll give it one last season because I think this game has got me on the edge of my mental capability, and yes, I'm not very good at it (obviously). I'm going to lose my best striker and attacking midfielder in the Winter; so I'm sure this'll be fun. Bye.
Sheriff Skacel
That glimmer of hope can come from the strangest thing, setting your eyes on playing a new formation, getting a good batch of youngsters, signing a good player or two, or maybe even winning promotion. Who knows.
DMT Abuse
Yep, I've basically skipped through 3 months so far; but thing with these pissing semi-pro sides is that we have 5 month breaks and the finances are a disaster; I've changed round tactics (which lead to a win on the last day, something we couldn't buy for 2 months prior) and have had to have a firesale, because of finances (including my Premier League potential striker, which is shite). I'm going to just go through the season as quick as possible now, and hope that we can get 3 more points than this one.
2 wins in the last 9 after winning about 5 in a row. How can something get on your nerves so fucking much make you want to go on? I've got Stockholm Syndrome off this shit.
Sheriff Skacel
Some elements of it I could never enjoy, the mid-season break for example, I hate those in FM. But the whole having to sell players to keep the finances in check and being able to develop youngsters on the regular you should relish, because once you get a promotion or two things start to change and become far easier. At that level at least if you are selling your best player you know its to help take the club forward long term, higher up in the leagues you can sell your best players on a whim.
If you can strike lucky once in Scandinavia you are sorted though, one promotion should give you a decent enough rep boost to land semi-decent jobs across the region. Its just getting out of the basement that is the hardest part, you don't want to get stuck in a cycle of going from shite Scandinavian club to shite Scandinavian club. Unless you're into that kind of sick, twisted, sadistic thing.
DMT Abuse
And yeah, one promotion would at least mean I've done something; I just couldn't believe it was going to get snatched away when were 7 points clear with 7 to go. And yeah, the striker was our highest earner (on £350 p/w nevertheless, a minimum wage breaking deal), and maybe it's best for him to go; we don't even have egos, we just have a heap of 17-22 year olds that are forever realising their potential.
I like the idea of taking this shite club somewhere big; like the Premier Division or even Europe; and if I've spent days to build a team I think I'd kill a family member if I was sacked or left; I don't think I could bare it. I'm just going to fast forward this season and see if I get promoted or not, a 4th season in this cesspit is effectively self-harm.
DMT Abuse
itchycoo
Well, good luck anyway...
DMT Abuse
Anyway, we rebuild, I'll ride the season out and see what's up.
itchycoo
DMT Abuse
The first result, the 2-2, was under the previous 4-2-3-1; the first couple of results can be excused as the tactic was unknown to the players; but since we have surged into 2nd spot and haven't lost since MD2.
The main issue is that the tactic relies heavily on position strength and attributes; and also is leading to a lot of fouls (including my first red card on the save; and many yellow card suspensions already)- this leaves worse players taking the roles temporarily and us faring much worse because of it. In fact we have conceded the most fouls and yellow cards in the league so far.
Though, this is because pre-season wasn't catered to the tactic, and so any wingers are now irrelevant, whilst there is a lack of cover on the full backs, and centre midfielders; which i'll hope to address come the next transfer window.
Dan
DMT Abuse
2nd. We were top, until the last matchday, where we lost. Again. Bottlers. Ah. The tactic was brilliant; but near the end of the season, striker issues, and some major defensive errors left us crawling to the end; but this time we were good enough for a top 2 finish.
Kristiansund in the relegation play-off;
2-0 down; that was it again, it was it, we're fucking shite.
Fuck that.
Bashed The Smiths, please, please, please, let me get what I want, there is a light that never goes out. All the emotional anthems. 1-2, 2-2, last minute, striker returns from 3 months out, last minute winner. 3-2.
Second leg. Attack. The players thought my team talk was a sermon, trust, such a vital instrument in this (and Poe's tactics, yeah, mainly Poe's tactics). We needed to hold on, and boy did we hold on, we fucking held on to fuck. We hammered them. And then, last 10, we scored. 1-0. 4-2 on aggregate. Christopher Svensson, the man who I rejected roughly 80 bids from Premier Division sides over the Summer, scored. We'd done it. 3 years. 3 fucking years and we're in the promise land. First Division elite. Elite.
The 5* keeper stays as well, Kristoffer Burlin, after a year of failed negotiations; he accepted it, the week before the play-off.
We've got a small squad, but the finances are looking up, our best players are staying, and we've done it. We've fucking got promoted, after the threats of suicide as season 2 ended; it's all hope, happiness and raving in Skellefteå...
Someone tell HMRC to fuck off because we're rolling...
Au revoir!
DMT Abuse
Rights.