Johno's Career

Thanks Mr Ndlovu I think I will be looking for defensive solid left back as Cresswell keeps making mistakes

West Ham United

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November 2015



What the hell is going on with my defence in away games

We welcome Anderlecht to Upton Park, we dominated the game with 38 shots at goal with only 13 on target We went behind on fifth minute with a long range shot from Luka Milivojević. We got back on level term with a goal from Matt Jarvis, with a header from Cresswell cross on 15th minutes. Zapata gave us the lead on 39th minutes with a brilliant strike outside the the D line. Zapata got his second goal of the night with an header from Cresswell's cross into the goal on 55th minutes.

Team was pish against Liverpool especially defence was utterly shite.

Only goal from Reid on 50th minutes was enough to see us picked up a win.

Déjà vu all over again against AC Milan. We went 3-1 up against them just like we did against Anderlecht and all of sudden they got 2 late goals to snatch a draw ffs.

After the game, we was confirmed to qualified to knock out stages. 4 points ahead of Anderlecht with a game spare.

Jesus fucking christ, another gash performance, Kyle Walker and Aaron Cresswell was the culprit, Walker has rating of 4.5 and other has 5.0 and Chelsea ran crazy down both sides. Defence was truly pathetic and pointed the blame at them during the press conference.

Barclays Premier League table



Transfers news



Snapped him up for 2.6M as I'm not happy with Cresswell's defending.

Is it just me scouting have been poor on this version? Asked for scout reports and only comes up like that?

Oh dear...



A very quick conversation and it was over. Good to see him makes sense.

Oh other hand, Cresswell was being a prat.



I told him he ain't leaving and he said he wants to go because he wants to play in CL. I said no chance and I will place you in reserves and kicked up a fuss. Fuck him. But I will sell him if I can get in another left back.

West Ham United

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December 2015/January 2016



Ripped up our 4-2-3-1 formation to 4-1-2-2-1 after our disaster month.

We started the first half so well but their keeper was preventing us from running away with great saves.

Kana-Biyik got us the winner on 70th minutes with a strike inside the box after his header was parried from corner. They kept attacking but we managed to hold on

We travel to West Brom for our match, It was tad boring but Ben Foster was in brilliant form and prevented us leaving with 3 points.

We played Strømsgodset for our final Europa League match of our group, as we already qualified so I gave Cerri his start and bagged 2 goals. And we finished second to AC Milan.

A penalty from Mark Noble was enough to see us beat Hull at home.

Poor performance from us away from home. We just didn't get going and deserved to be beaten.

Swansea's defence played brilliantly against us and a draw was fair in the end. Would have like to won this game.

An mistake from Ravel, which Origi took advantage of by scoring on 23rd minutes to give them the lead. We went behind on 43rd minute with Marko Arnautović scoring with a free kick outside the box, disappointed as he went down far too easy. We was dead and burried when Adam Johnson scored Stoke 3rd goal against us. Ravel pulled one back for us with an header from Matt Jarvis's cross. We pulled back another goal with Zapata striking inside the box after good passing between Ravel, Romero to set up Zapata. We kept pushing for late goal but Stoke held on in the end.

We didn't disgrace ourselves against Man City. We went 2-0 down within 8 minutes, with Eugene Konoplyanka striking on 2nd minutes to score. Mark Noble ended up slicing Konoplyanka's free kick into his own net.

We went 3-0 down after mistake from Ravel, enabled Kompany scoring an header. Zapata pull a goal back for us on 50th minute, took on entire Man City back 4 from half way line and ran toward the box and strikes it into top corner. Mistake from Kana-Biyik, let Jovetic score their fourth goal.

We entered the new year with 2-0 win over Bristol City, with goals in first half from Valencia and Poyet who just came back from long term injury.

Meh, we was hopeless against Everton and was destroyed by Kevin Mirallas getting hat trick and Baines free kick.

Much better performance against Blackburn Rovers. Matt Jarvis got us the winner with an header from Valencia touchline cross.

We finally picked up a away win in the league, We was poor but delighted to pick up 3 points. We went behind with on 12th minutes after Bogdan Stancu beaten our defence in the air to head in Billy Jones's cross.

Zapata got us level term on 41 minutes with a low strike into bottom corner after being put through by Valencia. QPR went down to 10 man on 67th minutes with Maynor Figueroa, sent off for double booking. Lukas Podolski got us the winner with 11 minutes left, Valencia raced down the right hand side and crossed the ball toward the far post where Podolski head the ball in to give us the first away win.

Awful performance from us against Arsenal and deserved to go out. After the game, received the news that Zapata is out for 4-5 months with broken foot after late tackle from Wilshere

Went for 4-4-1-1 against Spurs and delighted to see us beat them with Podolski bagged 2 goals \o/ Had to leave out Valencia and Jarvis as they was knackered so I played Lozano and Downing in their place. We played brilliantly and we could have ran away but Hugo Lloris was in top form. I started Podolski up front as poacher. He put us in the lead on 20th minutes after Arijan Ademi's header from free kick was parried into Podolski way and fired into the goal. He got his second goal on 80th minutes after Radu failed to stop Downing's pass to him, booted it into middle of the net to give us the win over our rival.

Another poor away performance and lucky to leave Carrow Road with a point.

Barclays Premier League table



Europa League First Knockout Round draw



Will be a tough draw against them, hopefully we can make a strong start at home.

Europa League Second Knockout Round draw



Transfers news

Spent heavily in the transfers window, and quite delighted with the new signings especially Lukas Podolski



Cost me 5.25M and I'm quite pleased as he's a good player and will be a good back up to Valencia. I decided to bring him in as Valencia seems to have played every games this season.



Cost me 1.5M from Dinamo, have already made decent impact for us.



Amazed we picked him up for 1M from Arsenal. He was banging goals for them last season and struggled to get in the side. 3 goals in 2 games already



Delighted with that

As you know that Cresswell wanted to join Everton to play in Champions League?



Well, Stoke came in with 5M and Everton with 4.3M so I decided to fuck him over and accepted Stoke and rejected Everton Have that you cunt.

West Ham United

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February 2016



Was a big match for us against Southampton as we both are competing for Europa League spot and I was a point behind them. Lozano got us in front on 38th minutes with an fluke shot from right hand side into top corner Lukas Podolski scored our second goal after good work by Lozano, who managed to beat his man and crossed it to Podolski and strikes it into the goal.

Poor performance from us once again, away from home. We went behind on 17th minutes after Walker sliced Anita 's cross into Ayoze's path to put Newcastle in front. Jarvis put us on level term, scoring from the rebound after his first shot was parried by the keeper. Tomkins scored an own goal for them after Lucas Pizon's free kick was parried by Horn and somehow Tomkins kicked into our own net. They put the game to bed with a goal from Rivière on 88th minutes. After the game news came through that Romero is out for 3 months With torn hamstring

Wow! Epic performance from Valencia and Lozano who completely destroyed Wigan in first half. With Morrison getting 2 goals in second half.

We was brilliant against Gala, and could have scored more. An own goal from Muslera, Lozano took a shot outside the box, which hit the crossbar and hit Muslera and went in \o/ Matt Jarvis double our lead to 2-0 3 minutes later, after Podolski's shot was parried by their keeper which Jarvis slammed the ball home. They pulled one back on 20th minutes with Amrabat heading in Wesley Sneijder's free kick. We was all over them second half with Podolski bagging a brace to give us 3 goals lead to Turkey for 2nd leg.

As our 2nd leg was 4 days before our match with Man Utd, which I decided to make entire changes to our starting XI and left out all first team players and played youth and half of them made their debut. I couldn't care about our loss as I was more focused on our 2nd leg in Turkey.

We went behind on 29th minutes against Gala with Adin scoring from Bulut parried shot. Lozano got us on level term on 49th minutes by getting on end of Jarvis's cross to score. Ravel put us in front on 82nd minutes with a volley inside the box from Matt Jarvis's cross. Bizarrely we ended up conceding 2 goals within 3 minutes period (85 and 88th) minutes. Bulut second goal on 85th minutes after the defence wasn't marking him and left him on his own to score. Poor marking from Kyle Walker left him on his own to score his second goal

We was really shattered against Liverpool after playing in Turkey 3 days earlier. Mario Balo got 2 goals and Coutinho scoring for them. Morrison scored for us.

Barclays Premier League table



Europa League Second Knockout Round Draw



Quite happy we're playing away first.

Another poor youth intakes







Will sign others if my HOYD( Dave Parnaby) recommends them.

West Ham United

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March 2016



Disappointed with our lost against Burnley, we was awful. Their goal came from Deeney after Horn parried his shot back to him and scored the only goal.

Pissed off with Diego Poyet after we suffered defeat in Germany. We took the lead through Valencia on 6th minutes. Mistakes from Poyet on 25th minutes gave Adam Szalai the goal after mistiming his header ffs. Then Diego Poyet got sent off for double booking on 50th minutes which put us under immense pressure. But Szalai got the winner, 10 minutes after the dismissal.

What a performance from the team after a day later from our match in Germany. Which is quite ridiculous. Which left me playing half fit players for our match against Chelsea.

We went behind on 4th minutes after a poor defending which Fabregas broke through the box to put them in front. Valencia scoring put us on leveling term against them, heading in Jon Aurtenetxe's cross. Valencia picked up injury which I took him off and replaced him with Hamdallah, Things got worse after stupid James Tomkins got doubled booked within a minute on 48th minutes to send us down to 10 man. Took off Ademi and brought on Collins and went for 4-3-2. Hamdallah won us the penalty after Musacchio pushed him in the penalty box. Mark Noble stepped up and blasted it into right bottom corner to give us the win.

Completely hammered Hoffeinheim, gave Hamdallah his start and took him 10 games to score for us Lozano was superb for us and he was called up to Mexico next day

We were drawn against Valencia and home first leg. Winner will face AC Milan/CSKA Moscow.

Wow, Arsenal was on 6 games unbeaten and sitting top. We went behind on 35th minutes after James Collins tripped up Wellbeck ffs, which Ozil took the penalty to give them the lead. James Collins redeemed himself by scoring an header from corner. Step up Lukas Podolski to shoot down his former club Got us in front on 66th minutes after Merstacker didn't deal with Noble's pass which he diverted it to Podolski to score. Got his second goal in injury time, beating Koscielny to score inside the box.

Disappointed not to beat Valencia, even we has better chances. Will be tough to go to Spain now and get the result we needed. Finally a clean sheet since Southampton match

Barclays Premier League table



Very close gap between us, Stoke and Swansea and Everton. I'm not fairly confident.