Number 1 - Comments

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#160321 Newcastle Thread
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I dunno. We might not get the chance anyway - if van Gaal goes to Man United, I half imagine Spurs will go for Moyes as LVG was their main target.

Mail are reporting Jack Colback is set to move to Tyneside. If Sunderland stay up this season and he moves anyway, he is going to receive psychopathic levels of hate. He might be decent enough but there's others I'd rather sign.
#160319 The World Cup Thread
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Someone must be misinformed; no muslim would request kosher food over halal unless it would be absolutely impossible to serve the latter, and as the WC's going to be played in Brazil and they are infact quite big on halal meat I don't think the French muslim players won't get to eat halal/they requested kosher instead.

I didn't know halal was a big thing in Brazil but even if it wasn't, whoever wrote it fucked up by getting their religions confused. I think last time I saw such a misunderstanding was on an old series of The Apprentice when some clueless dullards bought halal chicken thinking it was Kosher in a Moroccan market.
#160186 This Is Anfield
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He's been better this season with diving but still does it from time to time.
#160165 La Liga 2013/14
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Blimey. 45 is such a tragically young age to die. RIP.
#160087 Newcastle Thread
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He is favourite for the job if Pardew is ousted.

I dunno how I feel about it as I know I would tire of pieces proclaiming he's using us as some form of "redemption for his failure at Old Trafford" and we don't know how much the experience up there has affected him, but he can't be any worse than Pardew is currently putting us through.

Certainly, I have no confidence we'll avoid managing our 6th Premier League defeats in a row on Monday.
#160012 Transfer Rumours 2013/14
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Southampton have denied a rumour in the Daily Mail that Shaw and Lallana are in talks for a £55M double-move to Manchester United.

I'd be disappointed if they moved tbh - just means its another big-name side hoovering up talents from smaller clubs before they have a chance to make their potential count at their own teams. But that's the way the football world works I guess.
#159977 The World Cup Thread
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I thought Kosher was more for people of a Jewish faith and Halal was the way Muslims meat was prepared, though apparently a quick Google says some Kosher meats can eaten by Muslims.

Even so...
#159970 Transfer Rumours 2013/14
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He must have some talent if he is the first choice left-back at a top-half Premier League team and being talked about as a possible candidate for the World Cup squad.

Saying that, I think Callum Chambers is the best of their two young full-backs.
#159880 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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Ramires receives a 4 game ban for slapping Seb Larsson during the Chelsea-Sunderland game.

Sounds about right.
#159655 Transfer Rumours 2013/14
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Good player, but not £30M, £100k-a-week good.
#159645 Newcastle Thread
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I dunno - all 3 have potential at a team that would use them. Whenever I watch Norwich, neither Fer nor Redmond seem to play despite them doing well earlier in the season, and its only now with Hughton gone they've been recalled. Hooper is only really a "maybe" as he's a forward and we need some. There's probably other options available elsewhere.

I have heard rumours we want to sign Jack Colback from Sunderland. Interesting premise, that one.

Meanwhile, Ameobi has reportedly said the lack of investment is hurting the playing squad. But then anyone watching the team knows that.
#159596 Newcastle Thread
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Ricky Van Wolfswinkel

If Norwich get relegated we should try for Leroy Fer, Nathan Redmond and possibly Gary Hooper. Maybe not RvW and his 0 goals in six months record.

I doubt Debuchy will stay and as Ben Arfa and Pardew don't seem to like one another, the player will probably leave.
#159533 Newcastle Thread
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Seeing as players and fans have given up on this season, what can we expect from the summer?

If by some miracle, we convince Remy to stay, then things might look better for us, but I severely doubt he will stay. He probably won't be the only first team leaver either.

So, who should we buy?
#159346 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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You lost to a Yohan Cabaye goal that was set-up by Sissoko before he was Pardewed. Different team.
#158898 Let's talk about David Moyes
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Pardew... yeah, I wish.

I hear Kinnear's available...
#158828 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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Its been impressive - the pundits and bookies spent pre-season saying they were among the favourites for the drop and even when they were winning games, the consensus was "they won't sustain this".

Dyche has done a very impressive job and it does look that they deserve a Premier League spot. Keeping them there is going to be a very unenviable mission.
#158825 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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Burnley have been promoted to the Premier League.
#158547 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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So Arsenal finally win a trophy, Liverpool win the league, Everton finish above United, and we finish with our lowest points tally since the dawn of the Premier League. I haven't met a single United fan who wants David Moyes to be given more time, and that aforementioned nightmare looks like it could be a real possibility now. Players don't want to play for him, fans don't want to support him, and all he does is look around bemused, content in that we 'nearly got a point' out of a game with his fucking set play binder in the lap of his clueless assistant manager, despite the fact that we weren't even getting enough possession in their third to even warrant set piece strategies.

Moyes and Pardew sound alike at their present clubs. Seeing as both appear unwanted, would you like a swap?
#158466 Newcastle Thread
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It genuinely feels weird that we started 2014 just 3 points behind Liverpool. This has been such a weirdly disjointed season - one good half and then one half of almost unrelenting shit.

Pardew has always picked players out of position - Joey Barton as a right-winger (although that was started by Hughton), Jonas Gutierrez in CM, Ba and Cisse as wingers, Sissoko and Gouffran in what seems to be a new position every week. But I think this is the first time I've seen what feels like a whole team out of position.
#158330 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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I know but its not really possible to prosecute everyone who may have taken drugs in the past. It seems like it will be impossible to prove.

In fairness I re-read the article and saw the club rang the police.

Also the article says 'major' rather than 'Premier League' so its probably a Championship club, and tbh I've always assumed a reasonable proportion of Championship players are on drugs. They look the type.

I'd have thought CCTV evidence would be fair evidence for a charge of drug possession.
#158231 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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#158114 Newcastle Thread
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Isn't Luuk De Jong a striker?

Allegedly.
#158111 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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If Liverpool win tomorrow and then beat Chelsea, then that's it for Chelsea. But can MCFC still catch Chelsea if that happens and they win on Monday?
#158030 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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Not to rub it in but think Opta had a stat earlier that Gerrard, Sturridge & Suarez have scored more than the entire Newcastle team in 2014

That doesn't surprise me. In fact I think Sturridge has scored more on his own than Newcastle have. We have scored fewer goals than everyone else in the top 4 divisions in 2014, and with 13 defeats in 18, we're also in what must be the worst form of our entire history, or at least one of the worst. In fact, Hyde are in better form than us and they didn't win a game until January.

Pardew is absolutely fucking this up big time, and yet morons like Jamie Carragher still say he's doing a good job. What the fuck did we do to deserve this?
#158019 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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I thought Newcastle's miserable 2014 had finally bottomed out at Stoke, and once again I thought incorrectly. This is probably the most depressed I've felt all season, and considering all that's gone on before it since Boxing Day, that is one hell of an achievement.

Wake me up when Pardew's fired.
#157994 Newcastle Thread
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Siem De Jong is shite. Like really shite.

That means he'll score a hat-trick today

We have been linked with signing him but at the moment his brother Luuk is wearing our colours. He's actually registered an assist as well - first thing he's done in ages.
#157972 Newcastle Thread
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Today's team:
Krul - Colo, Willo, Dummett - Anita, Gosling, Tiote, Gouffran - de Jong, Cisse, Shola

Any idea who or what is playing where?

Here's hoping Debuchy and Remy are fit enough to come off the bench and give our formation an air of coherence.
#157493 Newcastle Thread
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Sunderland have scored more league goals at St. James' Park than Newcastle in 2014.

So have Everton, Spurs and Manchester United. Quite a depressing cocktail.
#156738 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
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No, but those lawyers should probably have the integrity to not take the job?

Anyway, I'm making out like I think this is a bigger deal than I actually do.

Its like that in many walks of life - Goldman Sachs and Vodafone have employed people who used to work for HMRC, which would explain how they paid very low taxes.
Shay Given is now assistant manager at Villa

Lambert's two main assistant managers have been fired as well.

I dunno if its just to do with the extra money but more teams in the middle and lower ends of the Premier League appear to be arguing amongst themselves, or at least more publicly than usual.
#156432 Newcastle Thread
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I've seen speculatory articles that the players are unhappy both with each other, and with Pardew's management style, with inquisitions held after both the last two outings. Appears Coloccini and Ben Arfa are particularly irritated.

Dunno how true they are but the fact it sounds likely - not least in Ben Arfa's case, given I doubt he's pleased at being the manager's whipping boy - means that things really do feel like they're falling to bits.