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#188774 Barclays Premier League 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
Might be an oxymoron, but I've not yet seen an alternative phrase.
#188769 2014/15 Kit Thread
Eric Portapotty
#188712 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Cheers mate, yeah we're in good shape at the moment.
---------------------------------
Great way to start the season, River didn't manage to get revenge, and so we cruised to a genuinely easy win.
Oehler bombed forward quite a number of times and hit the post - twice; shows you how much we dominated.
A similar story in the next game, not too many worries despite conceding a penalty.
As a result we're currently top, though as you can see the table does lie.
Also, the top 6 sides qualify for a championship playoff - not the Scottish system mind, but a post-season not unlike our promotion playoff last season.
Some national team news:
Really surprising, considering he was quite rubbish last season.
That said with 2 goals in our opening game, he must have got the NT manager's attention, so fair play to him.
#188678 The Armoury
Eric Portapotty
#188671 2014/15 Pre Season Thread
Eric Portapotty
#188602 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Well they aren't wcked, just a bit shite that's all...
That's definitely the case, though for the longer term I'd like to turn semipro at least, we really need to have some pulling power for us to have any consistency in personnel.
----------------------------------
A losing record against our reserves - not good news.
Going on to thrash most of our league rivals, we're gonna win everything now (no we're not).
Really surprising though, that we've managed to put our rivals away with such ease, especially when you consider some of these sides are proper (part-time) outfits who most certainly have an edge over the amateurs.
Away from matchday stuff:
Not too fussed with it not rising, we're in bloody Aruba, I can't expect too much here.
Paying the price for relative financial prudence, why isn't the board burning the cash to generate free electricity?
At least we've got the cash in the bank, I suppose the authorities could have a little bit
At this point we had nearly 100k in the black, so we were able to:
YISSSS
Incredible news, we are now able to tie the likes of Escalona and Lake to deals and not risk losing them the way we did Ignacio and Germain, to name but two.
Which I did.
Other players may follow suit, but I'm not looking to burn all the wage money just yet.
Board also decided to hand me a new deal, and I've selected the lowest wage possible, because if a Singaporean can afford to go to the Caribbean then he surely has some cash in reserve.
Overachievers again, and with something tangible to show for it.
Well deserved, Captain Set-pieces.
Agree with the choices, bar Quandt, who played 1 game and scored his only goal before leaving.
Transfers now:
Bosnie leaves for greener (read: Greenbacks) pastures, having contributed well in our successful last campaign.
Given that the DM is a key part of our system(s), it was imperative that a replacement was signed:
Not quite at Bosnie's level in terms of technical quality, but hopefully his work ethic makes up for it.
Stacie was one of them greyed-out guys who won multiple MOTM awards in the games against the reserves.
His ball control is his party piece, but I've no idea how he managed to score the goal that he did - maybe it's his height.
League-wise matters:
TV MONEY
Unfortunately, no bonuses for the players.
Not my own doing mind, not my fault the board didn't give me any transfer money.
You might tend to disagree given our preseason, but having been embarrassed by us quite a lot of these sides will be out for revenge, and then some.
#188554 Barclays Premier League 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
The term is about as stupid as the false 9 when describing a player's role i.e. not stupid.
#188290 2014/15 Kit Thread
Eric Portapotty
#188285 Barclays Premier League 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
#188185 Itchygon
Eric Portapotty
#187755 Transfer Rumours 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
A right foot.
#187754 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Thanks
-------------------------
Youth intake:
As usual, a batch of prospective stars that could be hit or miss but I'll be signing them all anyway, and a HoYD's recommendation which I don't get.
This is Mr De Windt - I don't see the point of him, but the crux could lie in his two-footedness.
This is the best of this bunch IMO:
He's far less mobile than Lake (which says a whole lot), but we'd be missing the point, because as can be seen he's a behemoth in the air.
A concise roundup of the other guys:
- A couple of extremely tall centrebacks, but their build comes with a glaring weakness.
Their emergence will probably negate the need for Breinburg to play in central defence, not that he's been play often at all as I looked for pace in my CBs.
- A pair of fast fullbacks, which is great news for my wingback aspirations.
Everyone else is rubbish.
At this point the players would normally go for their holidays (around 3 months, since our season is quite short).
Not this time though, I've not been allowed to tell them when to come back for preseason, because apparently they won't go for their break at all!
So this is preseason:
All the other clubs are on holiday, so we've only got the reserves to play.
#187753 Itchygon
Eric Portapotty
#187750 2014/15 Pre Season Thread
Eric Portapotty
#187658 Transfer Rumours 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
I like Monreal actually, wasn't too long ago when we could boast about our LB situation as one of the better ones in the league in terms of quality.
#187654 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Before the playoffs started, apparently something happened:
Left-footed midfield runner and one of my central starting trio, his loss could've come at a better time.
Funny thing is, his move was so under the radar that I hadn't noticed he had gone until matchday, when I was told that I'd a player missing from my starting lineup - not the most dedicated of managers, I know (then again I am on an amateur deal).
15 shots on goal, 3 on target - so typical.
At least we didn't go none from 3, which they did.
Scrappy, but I'll take any point in here.
Also Ignacio's been sold to a top division club, kid's going places.
A space of 2 days' rest meant some reshuffling and a change in formation, which backfired spectacularly.
I gave them a good scolding afterwards, but it's probably partly my fault.
We would normally gone into a rut following such a setback, but boy did we answer our doubters big time here - Lake with another MoTM performance.
And with 2 wins from 4 we were suddenly in the driving seat in the race for promotion.
Revenge is sweet, and no better time to fire the players up.
I did take us a bit of time to find the net, but once we did we weren't in too much trouble.
Couple of days later:
Despite possessing an arguably weaker team than last season and scraping our way to the playoff we're now promoted \o/
What an icing on the cake - clean sheet, 3 goals, 3rd straight win, and it guarantees us top spot in our group.
Atlantico failed in their 2nd bite of the cherry, while Caiquetio go back down.
I'd said he didn't deserve it, but his clutch performances when it really mattered edged the award in his favour.
He was in the shadow of Igancio last season, so for him to come into his own this time round is impressive.
Yeah no 'overachieving' tag this time round, we earned this shit; we got promotion, we don't need sympathy.
Players of the season:
(It's actually quite hard to pick a top 3 from this team despite our success because we were rubbish for most of the league campaign, but that's why statistics exists isn't it?)
Francois Escalona:
He didn't repeat his efforts of last season and start with a bang, but towards the end of the season his started to make more use of his setpiece strengths.
Captain leading by example when it mattered most.
Luis Carlos Lake:
Slightly iffy with his shooting, but you can't argue with 13 goals from 17 starts, can you?
Raizel Figaroa:
Had lots of trouble with the LB role (Elskamp being a prominent example) so in the second half of the season I decided to do away with a Limited leftback, and instead have Figaroa run up the flanks.
Somehow it worked, and he managed to find himself in the penalty area (opponents'
I'd have Samuel Fingal on this list as well by virtue of being our 2nd-highest scorer, but given that I spent more time shouting, handing out warnings and banishing him to the U18s he's probably not one of our best players this season.
----------------
Seasonal postscript to come, with our youth intake.
#187567 Gfy/webm support?
Eric Portapotty
http://gfycat.com/about
Cheers Rob.
#187556 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
#187522 Barclays Premier League 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
2. City
3. Chelsea
4. Arsenal
No really, as much as I hate to say it Van Gaal does look like he has a knack for this shit.
18. Villa
19. West Brom
20. Burnley
West Ham in place of Villa if the Davids do sack Big Sam in search of 'entertaining football'.
#187518 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
top kek
#187427 Barclays Premier League 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
#187421 Gfy/webm support?
Eric Portapotty
Cheers.
#187410 Susie Fantasy Football
Eric Portapotty
ERIC'S PORTABLE LOO (not a joke on Cantona's toilet habits mind)
#187406 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
The opener was a woefully mishit cross that went over the keeper into the net.
As usual we struggled to build on that lead, until Brison got us the insurance of a 2nd goal.
Incidentally this was the penultimate (13th) matchday - this was the situation before our final game:
Much simpler to figure out that last season, basically: We win, we qualify; we don't, well we don't.
I'm not too fussed either way - if we get through there's a chance of promotion, if we don't I won't need to have a repeat of last season's shambles.
Anyway:
Mad game, though we'd scored the latter 3 goals on the counter as Juventud chased the game.
Apparently we broke a couple of records:
Not that it was all good, mind:
Incredibly, all 3 RBs are now injured, which does present a conundrum...
But I digress:
Ehr, like I said I could've done without it.
Well at least this can pay for Oehler's medical fees.
Scored the 2nd most goals, conceded the 2nd most goals, and yet we're not quite mid-table.
Playoff information:
Caiquetio just about survived an immediate drop back into the 2nd tier, but they'll have to play for their survival here.
We're the only consecutive participants, while Atlantico and River were also involved 2 seasons ago.
BLISS! A schedule that makes sense.
Quietly confident about my chances, with the evenly spaced games the player can get enough rest.
#187385 Susie Fantasy Football
Eric Portapotty
#187239 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
I TOLD you we'd fuck it up.
Oehlers fell down and broke his arm, which would rule him out for around 2 months - within the 1st 5 minutes.
As usual we were completely blunt in attack and porous in defence, and (AS USUAL) we conceded the opener.
2nd half, a random punt upfield, Lake comes in with a good touch and rounds the keeper for an equaliser.
We then hid back into our shell, 'cos that's how we roll, apparently.
Yet another early injury, yet another concession of the 1st goal, yet another fortuitous equaliser from Lake.
A transfer then happened:
Great work, a non-contract deal where he gets to sit on the bench.
We managed an in-house replacement who had an eerily similar skillset to Paesch (which is in no way due to the game being completely buggered when it comes to lower-league football in footballing backwaters):
Another early injury, only this time we actually managed to keep them at bay in the 1st half.
No, this match was a spectacular display of our magnificently wayward shooting - 3 on target from 15.
Come to think of it, their red card is probably SI's way of mocking my incompetence as a manager.
Yay, virtually out of reach of the playoffs, told you it's the calm before the storm.
Escalona's not done enough to warrant this honour, if I'm honest.
No mentions of our guys in the YPoTY because they're all shit.
#187208 Barclays Premier League 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
#187195 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Will the malaise continue?
Exciting comeback win, Escalona finally found his setpiece boots, with a FK equaliser and another effort put away on the rebound - the winner no less.
One of the best performances this season (not a lot to choose from tbh) - Escalona with an assist from a corner and another free kick.
Even Oehlers went upfield for an assist, maybe CWBs is the way to go.
So this month does look like the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel - then again, people do talk about the calm before the storm.
Can't wait to show prospective supporters how shit our defence is.
#187109 2014/15 Pre Season Thread
Eric Portapotty
#187014 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Shock and horror as we play FOUR matches this month!!!
Both teams were wasteful (we were as usual), but we managed to be less wasteful (not quite as usual).
Cash money, yay.
Next up was Atlantico, who would be looking for payback after we thumped them the last time we met:
If you can't be arsed to count the number of penalties (I know you can't) we lost 18-17.
We allowed them 4 shots on goal in the opening 8 minutes, and one of them had to go in.
We struggled to regain control of the game but got a lucky equaliser following a punt upfield, at which point we reverted to type.
Quite apt that Oehlers missed the last penalty, he played poorly and was going complacent and all that shit despite being captain for the day.
Back to the League:
Such an infuriating match, we'd used up 2 subs by half time, the defence was horrible (yet again), Elskamp (of the playoffs fame) in particular doing nothing on the left side of defence.
He's been released, fuck him.
The guys were jaded from all my shouting and trudged to a stalemate.
Second from bottom, soon to be bottom, happy days.
Another transfer:
Apparently the best prospect in the team, injury prevented him from trying to establish his place up front. By the time he came back from his layoff there were 4 strikers ahead of him.
I couldn't give him the game time he wanted, and I still don't get his potential, so he's gone.