Eric Portapotty - Comments

Season 2058

Ok... So not quite 2058, as we finish off 2057 on the international front first:


Getting into the Caribbean Cup semifinals was our ticket to the Gold Cup, though it's also where we're guaranteed to meet the big guns of Caribbean football.
We gave it a hell of a go against Jamaica, though it was not to be in rather cruel fashion.


3rd place is still some consolation though, Barbados were dealt with appropriately.

And on to the Gold Cup:


Where we proceeded to get whipped hard.
I mean, not much to expect with this group, but oof after another tight match against Jamaica we then got put through the grinder.
Positives, well at least we scored in all 3 matches to give the fans some cheers.

Now, really on to 2058:


Intensifying the wage-shedding this season, we've finally released Bryan and Jasmin, who weren't any better than potential loanees but were on the minimum fulltime wage of $275 p/w.
Getting any money at all for Rene is wild business considering I'dve been delighted with shedding his wages as is, while Jerome (not very clinical at all) and Smith (still first choice for us but he's got some beef with me for some reason) were also shipped out to Sharks.

Incomings wise, we made Levesque a permanent signing, while Laveaux was also brought back for another year.


Dujardin was another coup from my knowledge base in Guadeloupe, a physical right back who'll compete with/cover for Sall.


Whittaker is the new backup LB, with decent acceleration and determination putting him in good stead should he be called upon.


Roumain and Sejour replace Bryan and Jasmin at a fraction of the cost - both have good energy and can probably be shepherded through games alongside better senior players.



Not quite the dominant, all-conquering side of seasons past this time, as injuries to Ripol and Fenelus meant some rotation was on the cards and grinding out results started a tad earlier this time.
Still, qualifying for the playoffs with games to spare.


Welp, hell of a start to the playoffs - couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo and Small World definitely took advantage.
Seems like the team just wanted the challenge though - 5 straight wins afterwards we find ourselves qualifying for the final with a game to spare again.


Quite a lot nervier that it needed to be, what with their 10 men and our 2 goal lead - I probably played it too safe too early with the tactics after our goals.
Still another title nonetheless, one we've won already, but they all count.



The CFU Club Championship also returned, and again with cruising the 1st Group Stage.



... And also bowing out in the Final group Stage, though we've done ourselves a hell lot more justice this time round - unbeaten and a respectable 2nd.
Though also we should've done better against the Rams, was a tight game and I would've bet on us winning that.

On to the Cup, the remaining elusive trophy in this island nation:


Very, very cagey match - having lost to them a few weeks back we were well aware of their ability, so we didn't try to go too gung-ho.


Different story in the final, Sharks have been abysmal in the league this season (no thanks to double agent Jerome) and their one saving grace was the cup where the loanees weren't allowed to play in.
Their previous successes against us counted for nought today (or even against them, depending on the amount of stock you put on vengeance) as we tore them a new hole to finally, finally put the cup duck to rest.



GET IN
2 seasons too many considering how we dominated straight from the off, but much better late then never.

Season Review

Players of the Season


Forbes did as Forbes does, the absolute battering ram of a striker he is.
Averaging a goal contribution in the league and going over that in all comps, winning PotY was basically a no-brainer.


Also another season of continued excellence from Scipio, was hit by a few knocks but still managed 9 goals and 10 assists overall.



Dujardin was the surprise breakout this season - I expected him to stay on the bench behind Sall, but with Ripol injured the latter had to fill in at centreback, so that RB spot unexpectedly opened up for him.
Balled out too, with a knack for cracking a shot on goal, finishing with 2 eventually.


Personally didn't think Levesque balled out that much this season, but hey if it was enough to get him a YPotY Runner-up who am I to say otherwise.

And shoutout to Namphy-Dalembert, who went fro being absolutely hapless playing up top, AM or even CM, to balling out in a playmaking role in the DM area.
Too gangly to create play higher up the pitch, he was afforded more space and time to pick out passes in that deeper role.



So that's that for the Turks and Caicos, as well as the first 11 nations I believe.... Watch this space (however long it might end up taking)

Apologies for going missing, work etc.




Getting the sideshow out of the way first:



he Final Group stage was always unlikely to be a successful venture for us, and having international callups around the Puerto Rico match pretty much put paid to any hopes of that. At least we finished on a high.

Main course:



We maintain our 100% record in the league, though as with last year it wasn't going to be anywhere as dominant as the regular season, with lower margins of victories and a fair few late winners too.



Though obviously I couldn't care less how we won - finishing top of the playoffs won't even matter if we don't convert in the final.
And as usual... Sharks are always lurking.



WELL LURK SOME MORE EH
Cagey final, par for the course in our recent postseasons, but this time Fred Forbes came in HOT with a fantastic hat-trick.
No doubt we definitely rode our luck, what with the missed penalty and the 3 goals from 3 shots on goal, but dammit as if I'm not going to snatch it off your hands.

And just like that we're now 2 matches away from the promised land of a double (and my ticket out of here):



Well make that 1 match.
Full Physic didn't exactly impress in the playoffs, but you'd expect them to turn up a bit more in a cup semifinal regardless.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-D5-d7GRZRQ

21 shots, conceding 2 from 2 shots on goal, more possession, and still nothing.
It's one of those games that probably doesn't warrant too much analysis - well apart from our 'clinical finishing' anyway.

No actually there is1 takeaway: DON'T SUB PLAYERS ON SPECIFICALLY FOR PENALTIES.
You'd think Southgate doing that on the biggest stage would give me ample warning, but no, I wussed out of having Patrick Smith take a penalty and put Edelaire on instead.

End of Season Review

Now the usual suspects dominated the awards and our PoTYs, save for the loanee Levesque whose work rate and finishing and composure meant he hit heights a loanee normally shouldn't have.

And then you've got Jolicoeur:



He really shouldn't have been a mainstay at the base of our midfield triangle, but there he was averaging a 7.22! I'll do well to find his replacement, let alone one that's on loan.

Well, with all that said it's yet another season in the T&C, we'll likely dominate again but oh what I would do to stop choking in finals.

Though I will have an interesting time in the offseason:



Mexico are obvious favourites to top the group, and Costa Rica are also some distance ahead of us really.
Jamaica are considered 'assailable' simply due to being in the Caribbean as well, though frankly I'd be delighted with a point out of this group.

Midseason 2057

Same story as last year as we storm out the gates with a 6-0, and finish the regular season with 6(wins) also.



With the apparent dominance we have over the rest of the country finishing top is but a pre-requisite at this point - what matters is winning the damn games that actually matter, like both the cup and the championship final.

We apparently also qualified for the CFU Club Championship despite the bottlejob last year:




All dealt with swiftly, even the Rebels of nearly 20 seasons ago with Venton Cain long retired and no longer haunting my dreams.



Ah now this presents a significantly greater challenge - if we don't beat W Connection on Matchday 1 I'll basically throw the whole tourney to keep ourselves fresh for the league playoffs.

Preseason 2057

(That there's a continuation to this, well it means I did get a new contract haha)


Ah a final reminder of the wretched waste of time that was last season.

Nevertheless, we have been busy in anticipation for this campaign:



Even more fulltime fringe players out, replaced with a mix of foreign and local (loan) talents:


Ripol isn't the very best from the crop of centrebacks that offered their wares, but with acceleration of more than 5 and decent concentration he'll suffice.
There are much better defenders out there with far superior aerial ability, but they're definitely far too slow for my liking.


Likewise, there are better rightbacks than Sall out there, but his ability to cover at centreback was a plus.
Frighteningly dodgy in his 1st preseason outing, but hopefully it's just a matter of acclimatising to our high-risk hiigh-line system.


High time I leveraged my position as Guadelope manager - Levesque represents a willing runner and decent finisher at a pittance, a niftybackup/competition option for our front 3.


Joliceour had been shortlisted since last year, and when the contract with his parent club was renewed we went in with a loan deal immediately.
Putting aside the subpar technical skills, a good mentality is what I'm looking for in a backup centremid.


Leveaux is admittedly a very limited centreback, but what matters is he can do what he can quite well; good in the air (jumping anyway), good on the tackle, better positioning and concentration than most, I'm surprised I was allowed to have him on loan.


Durand brings experience on relatively low wages, and I really don't believe he's as bad as our fans think he is.


Just as well that we signed him, as due to the brutal fitness regime I meted out during early preseason, Namphy-Dalembert is probably missing half the regular season while Heath is already pretty much ruled out for the season with a damaged Achilles.


You'll have noticed that we barely have a squad and a half, and you'd be right - running the ship so tightly, that we don't even have a team entered for the U20s league this season.


Preseason wasn't nearly as comfortable as I'd hoped, as we failed to beat Sharks in both friendlies and Scipio only finding the net once.
A mitigating factor could've been the upheaval in squads with all the trialists, so with a bit more stability in the season we should find our feet.



Bookies think so too, putting us favourites for the league once again, pfft.

Offseason 2056

Right, so after that depressing 5 months or so it was back to the to the relatively happier hunting ground of Guadelope:



Round 1 of the Caribbean Cup came and went, with us doing the barest of minimums to with both matches and put on a bit of a show for the fans.



Likewise for Round 2, and without any soiled sheets to top it off.

Round 3 saw us up against Haiti once again, with another opportunity to prove our credentials, not to mention avenging our loss from 2 years ago:



HEROICS
Tons of fight from all involved - we might not have been at our best at the back, but we certainly matched them blow for blow on the shot count and eventually made sure that they came worse off in the end - this despite having Barcelona's starting GK at the back.



And a professional job for our 2nd match in the group against Aruba.



With qualification to the semis we also guaranteed ourselves a spot in next year's Gold Cup, but we first have to contend with the regional powerhouse that is Jamaica.

Back in Beaches, the players have just returned for preseason, and with the opening of the transfer window we also welcomed a new arrival:


Stupid story time: During the Administration crisis last season our starting GK (Raymons Rene) kicked up a fuss about the finances and was subsequently booted out through the back door. That left us with only 1 GK (Kelly Fenelus) for the remainder of the season.
Well guess who thought free agents could join at any point of the season, and attempted to sign a replacement who wouldn't actually join for another 7 months.

Regardless, Aliev is a pretty capable goalkeeper, with good handling and shot stopping abilities.
His horrible decision making and positioning is quite a worry, but otherwise he should be able to well, stop shots really.

Of a slightly bigger concern is my contract situation - obviously I did choke in both competitions last season, and with the existing financial issues the board has thus far rejected any talk of a new deal.

We start with some good news:


Well, after pissing off and releasing about half my squad and releasing all the instigators (including starting GK Raymons Rene), we finally find ourselves out of the hands of the receivers.
About that 'sound financial footing' though:



Peak can kicking down the road, sure we'd managed to achieve some miraculous refinancing of our debts, but that's 8k per month, every month for the next 15 years, at a club which (as it turned out) doesn't have any competitive football for 7 months out of the year and still pays their fulltime players at least 275 a week every week.
I don't even understand why we needed to go pro, Small World pays their best guy 475 a week on a part time deal while keeping their squad players to non-contracts, while were out here paying every last squad filler the league-mandated minimum.

But I digress, back to the football:



Not quite as dominant as we were in the regular season, but still managed to secure qualification to the final before putting our foot well off the gas in the last 2 matches.
Quite annoying that we lost out unbeaten streak to Sharks, but I'm certain the players will use it as fuel for the Final clash:



ahahahahahahahaha
Dominated the shot count, majority of the chances, couldn't get shit in.
5 months (well 2 if we're being honest) of exhilarating football only to end in the dampest of squibs.

Well at least we still have the President's Cup to look forward to:



hahaha NO
I like to think we wilted a bit under the expectations of a blowout, though again we sorely needed that clinical finished we had earlier in the season.




Players of the Season


I think this trio deserves to be mentioned together such was their exploits at times.
Fred Forbes was the standout, with his physical ability clearly proving too much at times for opposition backlines, coupled with great work ethic and a good header of the ball, he was nigh on unstoppable.
Scipio we knew well from Anguilla already, and he just continued his form here. In a 4-3-3 the it's imperative that the left forward has a left foot (duh) and he's basically the best exponent of this role out there.
Jeff Jerome also chipped in with a fair few goals, though he's probably the most expendable of the 3, and I'll be looking to move him on for a more clinical/determined/faster third man next season.


Seriously, imaging dominating the league to this extent only to have absolutely nothing to show for it, what a massive pity.


Special mention to Ras Fenelus, who I did not see performing at the level he did at all.
Man makes forward runs, covers plenty of ground, chips in with more than a few assists and finished the season with an 8.00 rating.

--------------------------------

Next for Beaches is well, off to the beaches, before returning to preseason in September, in which we also welcome what has to be the most pointless transfer window out there: no competitive matches, no Bosman arrivals since contracts expire in the end of December, and no incomings since we'll have to pay even more players 3 months' of salaries for what, playing in friendlies? Give me a break.

Midseason 2056

Well it's been an interesting couple of months, what with the receivership, the repeated player complaints over the financial situation (which 1. I have no control over and 2. it's your fulltime wages that caused this mess in the first place) and the reduction in transfer revenue ((lol thinking we could generate any transfer revenue to begin with).

I did end up releasing a few of the high earners and/or troublemakers:



And this made way for wage space for a few signings:



A familiar name stands out immediately:



Word on the street was he fell out quickly with my replacement at Diamonds, and I couldn't not at least chance my arm at bringing him to Beaches.
My task was made much easier by our ability to offer fulltime contracts (receivers couldn't/didn't take control or had any veto of incomings for some reason), which will be a common theme for the following also:

Smith comes in as the starting LB, physically imposing and not complete turd at defending.
Amilcar was loaned with a view to shipping out Whittaker - unfortunately that hasn't happened yet, but with his speed and all he looks to be a better option regardless.
Scipio's backup in that left striker role in the 4-3-3 and an already capable centre mid as is, Anthony actually had 2 goals and an assist in that Attackers 6-3 game that resulted in my resignation.
But hey, bygones and all that.
Richardson-Smith is normally a terrible defender, but with our centreback cover as it is he was the best available on cheap wages and short notice.
It's actually stunning the quality of player available to you once you're a professional outfit - Mosala was a replacement for the whingeing Suckrajh and is arguably a like for like on cheaper wages. Proper leader too.

What would all that upheaval off the pitch and with the playing personnel do to our league form though?



We saw the receivers and told them to crawl back up where they came from, evidently.
The 4-3-3 is a truly awesome beast, overwhelming opposition defences from minute one, and on most occasions the match was over by the half-hour mark.
All 3 forwards have over a goal a game - Scipio has 7 goals and assists each, while Forbes goes one better with his 8 strikes.

Next comes the Champions Playoff: another 6-match shootout before the top 2 fight it out in a Final.

Clubs in the Turks and Caicos Islands must either be really loyal to their managers, really reluctant to sack them or really take their time with new hires, such was the 9 months spent waiting for a job offer from there.
No matter, in that time we also got on with the business of a full-time national team manager:


(Note the win against Trinidad & Tobago - they did go down to 10 men within 11 minutes, we did get dominated anyway and only won through a late penalty, but that's a scalp if I've ever claiming one)

Back to the business at hand though:




One of the most successful clubs in the Isles, they're currently in a bit of a financial pickle after going professional 15 years ago - I wasn't quite prepared for quite how big of a pickle it was though:



Oh boy.



Ohhhhhh boy - admittedly I definitely didn't do my due diligence in looking up the club beforehand, but the decision to make developing youth players a priority is already haunting me.
But hey, we're one of the favourites for the league title still, and maybe I can pull off another Ideal and go Wham Bam Thank you Mam before the new year is out:



Not with this squad though.
Best described as a very talented Frankenstein monster of a squad, we have only 2 centrebacks (with Makenson Aristide out for the season with a broken leg), 2 right-footed left wingers (in fact there'er only 2 left-footers in the squad, a centre mid and the only left back who's not fast and has Low Self Belief to boot), and the highest paid player (an RB) is listed for transfer (probably because he's the top earner and needs to be shipped pronto).

Oh and the season starts in 12 days, without any preseason games played:



It's somehow an even quicker league season than in Montserrat, where the 7 teams play each other only once and the league splits into Championship Playoff (Top 4) and Playout (Bottom 3) groups.
Beaches crashed into the Playout last season, and judging by our squad and lack of preparation I'll be delighted with scraping through in 4th then seeing how it goes from there.

A Goodbye to Anguilla

Yes, so with the Treble secured, it was time to bid farewell to this accursed land, but not before I try my damnedest at a last hurrah.
Finishing runners-up in the CFU Club Championship meant we qualified for the CONCACAF League - not the CONCACAF CL mind (it's just an equivalent of the Europa League), but a bloody good achievement nonetheless:



Sonsonate finished a surprising 3rd in the Salvadoran top flight and qualified from that, but are otherwise barely in the top 10 clubs in EL Salvador.
Still, they're still significantly better than us and had the upper hand in both legs as expected, only to somehow lose out due to some proper smash-and-grab stuff from the players.
Coming back from 2 goals down in the 1st leg and scoring a last minute penalty in the return game, going on to win on penalties? We might not have deserved it but we sure as hell earned it.


Saprissa were CONCACAF CL Champions and played in the Club World Cup - nuff said.
They weren't about to be as generous as Sonsonate, even if they did let us in with the lead early doors, and with the glut of yellow cards we were also about to be down a few key players for the return leg.


And it showed - the gulf in quality was even starker here, and they even seemed to prefer toying with us for the 80 minutes after scoring before sticking the knife in a final time in stoppage time.

Players of (the past 9) Season(s)


Steven Lake came through the youth ranks the last season of my 1st stint, and acquitted himself well enough despite our meme campaign.
In my year away though, he managed 16(!!!) assists in only 15 games, and while I didn't give him as much freedom this season he still dominated the midfield with his all round physical ability.
Signed from Ballers in Stint 1, Year 3, Keivois Anthony-Richardson terrorised my defence for many a season with his sheer pace and finishing ability, so when Ballers crashed to the bottom of the league I finally had the chance to snatch him up.
It turns out that while he obviously had outrageous talent, it really only showed itself in spurts, which wasn't helped by his lack of Determination or Work Rate, which isn't a good thing to have in your talisman - the icing on the cake rather than someone who drags a team to success, basically.
We ended up beefing a lot, and by the time I left we didn't really have eyes for each other to say the least.

Everything changed in the 2nd stint though - with a 4-3-3 he had more than enough strike partners to pick up the slack when he wasn't firing, and an industrious midfield meant he could focus on the final third.
And he did, finishing with 15 goals in 15 league games and 25 from 28 in all competitions.
We still weren't on close terms by the end, but hey winning is all that matters isn't it.

Jaden Scipio is a weird one - can't finish, can't dribble, doesn't really have the necessary Work Rate, not supposed to be much good.
Somehow we made it work - helps that he had great pace and a left foot, and leaving him to press only in the final third meant he picked defenders' pockets on more than a few occasions, while his pace got him into the 6-yard box to finish off chances even he wouldn't miss.


Gracen Hawley-Edwards and Kion Richardson-Guishard - having double-barrelled surnames wasn't the only similarity they had, as they both were part of the banterous early Diamond years and won in Montserrat also.
Kion didn't have any significant technique to speak of, but my god he worked hard - he'd misplace passes all game only to pop up in the box to score. Meanwhile Gracen wasn't a great defender, but had a great combination of aerial presence, strength and speed that covered for his defensive deficiencies.

Neither were under contract by the time I went to Ideal, so they were persuaded to take a shot in another country - didn't quite expect them to win at the first time of asking though!

(I could've named a fair few others, but they had either retired or didn't win the treble, so meh)



So with Anguilla having been finally dealt with, there really is only 1 country left in Stage 1.....

Guadelope - Another Side Hustle in the Caribbean

So yes, I did get sacked by Tuvalu after we bombed out of the Pacific Mini Games in 2049, which meant 3 seasons to focus on (and fail with) Diamonds.
Though with Montserrat's really short season of 3ish months, it seemed like a good opportunity to get back into the international game and fill in the gaps where Ideal didn't have any games:



First on the agenda was the Caribbean Cup, which unlike conventional international cup competitions takes place across the span of some 11 months and 3 group stages before a final knockout phase.



Within the first 2 games of the tournament it became apparent who our talisman was going to be; Yannick Thuram-Ulien was an absolute menace drifting into the 6-yard box from wide on the right flank.


Thuram-Ulien with another hat-trick could've added more to his 7 goals in 3 matches, had he not picked up a knock against Grenada.
No matter, Puerto Rico was dealt with regardless.


Now the real big guns came into play, and unfortunately we weren't quite able to match up to their standards.
Bahamas was always going to be easy to deal with, but it was Haiti that would be the litmus test when it came to our ambitions here.

Fortunately, finishing 2nd still gave us a few more games in the 5th placed playoff:



Incidentally, the NTs of countries I've managed in - we were always going to be too good for them, what with a significant proportion of our squad based in France and the only international player of note from Anguilla and the Caymans was a centreback playing for Domagnano.

But wait, there's more! Apparently finishing fifth in the competition hands us a playoff match for the (actually continental i.e. CONCACAF) Gold Cup:



Welp, not too much more as it turned out - I might've eked out a draw with cannier tactics, but alas it wasn't to be.

Player of the Tournament



Of course he's inflated his stats a wee bit by virtue of having played semipro Caribbbeans in the earlier rounds of the tournament, but scoring in 6 out of 7 matches played and 11 goals in total is a phenomenal achievement no matter how one squares it.

Yeah about that...



After winning 5 straight trophies in under 18 months, it's not hard to see how my successor could've felt he achieved all he could with Diamond.
Oh but not me, oh not even close.

Diamond II: Retribution

The last time I was on Anguillan shores, I had refused on principle to play the overpowered and frankly unrealistic 4-3-3, while at the same time being pummelled year in year out by Attackers and Kicks with that exact system - well whaddaya know, first day back in and it's a squad made for the 4-3-3:



(Well the squad was already made for this system even 5 seasons ago, and wed've probably won more but for my idealism)

To summarise what went on this season: You gave me 7 years of hell, so I'll make it rain sulfur in Anguilla:






Rarely has there been revenge as sweet as this really, and all it took was for me to flee with my pants down and come back with someone else's already perfected work.
Nevertheless, all 3 titles in Anguilla in one fell swoop, and I don't have to deal with Kicks again (who somehow kept keeping up with 12 wins).

We also did bits in the Caribbean Championship:






Dispatched of both group phases with ease (even if it did mean nearly tanking the President's Cup for it).



Semifinals time, and genuinely surprised we'd beat a Don Bosco with full Haitian internationals, not to mention in such a dominant manner.



Alas the final was a bridge too far - Harbour View are one of Jamaica's (and indeed the Caribbean's) top sides and their superior clinical ability shone through.

A Montserratian Sojourn

After that nightmare stint, a fresh start was imperative, but where to? We've only got 2 other nations left in this Stage 1 - Montserrat and Turks & Caicos Islands.

Well the latter was well into its offseason (and its clubs wouldn't actually get back to my job application till nearly 2 full years later), so Montserrat it was then:



Projected to finish plum last, it looked like we'd be in for another tough couple of years.
Well wouldn't you know it:






Levels of shithousery hitherto unknown as we somehow win the title having not won a match by more than 2 goals and with a GD of +4.

Of course, while the whole team did their part in the title win, I'd be remiss if I didn't give my flowers to one Tomoki Amoah:



Our team was 10 men plus a guy who could not and did not stop running up top - hoof after hoof of the ball into the opponents' half and he'd be there to chase them down and score and/or assist.
Unfortunately he decided to leave midseason for some reason, he'dve won the fans' PoTY at a canter otherwise.
Though as far as we were concerned he'd already done the hard part for us, and all we had to do was to see the season out.



So with the only competition in Montserrat in the bag, it was back to looking for new pastures.
I'd go back to Anguilla, but seeing as Diamond proceeded to win both cup competitions immediately after I left and the Treble this season, I'd much rather wait a few more seasons before having to come up against another monster team.

(Oh and I was also appointed manager of the Guuadelope NT, more on that later)

Apologies for the extended delay, I lost access to my Twitter account and by association my Imgur (should've known better than to create an account with another social media account).
Fortunately... I have been playing in the interim, and there's a new imagehost! Hopefully cubeupload doesn't go under any time soon.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





6 seasons of pain - start well, lose to one of Kicks or Attackers, capitulate, rinse and repeat.

Come season 7:




That 6-2 loss felt like a nadir for me - we were still within touching distance of the title at the time and a win could've been that push for us to finally deliver.

But wait, it gets better:




Yeah I just about had enough of this nonsense to be honest, 7 years of Kicks and Attackers and their fucking 4-3-3, I needed out for my own (IRL) sanity.




8 finals in 7 years (including 5 straight in the Knockout Cup), and only 1 win to show for it, miserable.

By Phoenix Arrow 05 November 2022 - 14:21 PM UTC

Yeah. I used to date someone called Susie around the time I stopped posting and I had a bookmark on the bookmarks bar thing on Chrome that was just her name. It would've been there until I got a new PC so maybe the first year of our relationship. I wonder if she ever clicked on it when I was at work or something.

 

And Mazilu was FM2005 iirc.

My god, Phoenix Arrow

Blast from the past

Incredible that you managed to beat LCS and Albirex to the title mate, keep it up!

Midseason 2046/47

Another departure on deadline day - Theon Anthony was a backup CB filling in in midfield, and even he left.



So we signed a replacement, and (spoiler alert - midseason window transfer) another off the recommendation of our scout:



I really should've gone for Hughes-Johnson anyway, but either by choice or circumstance he's in our midfield now.
Really dodgy 1st Touch which is exacerbated by his Composure, but he seems to have adjusted well enough.



You know how Anguillans automatically have dual English nationality due to the Commonwealth, and suddenly have knowledge of non-league England? Yep, explains this.
Johnson's not too bad, not nearly enough to justify paying him $35p/w, but I still think it was worth the punt.
At worst he's a good option in our midfield rotation.



Quite a decent 1st half to the season, 6 wins in 8 is quite good going and Id've snapped your hand off for it.
It's how it ended though, my days:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/tfayUjsaRLx6rlyFd7bkAhiBUR5HXcInMwFb9FTx.mp4

Imagine conceding this winner and not having it recorded as a goalkeeper error, so I couldn't even put him on blast.




Then we have this - leg-breaker and not even a card, horrible stuff.



We've done enough to keep ourselves within touching distance of Attackers, but with our best striker in Brooks out (Richardsion-Guishard's form notwithstanding - he also got injured against Uprising anyway) I think our season in effectively over at this point.
Fingers crossed we can get a replacement, but my days this has just completely ruined my mood regardless.

By Gavin Williams 13 October 2022 - 17:56 PM UTC

I just want to stop by and say thank you.

 

I bought FM17 4-5 years ago now, and I’m sad to say that I was too overwhelmed to really pick it up and play (Outside of a few 1-2 season saves that I gave up on).

 

This thread has inspired me to pick FM17 back up and to relax and have some fun on it.

 

Just started a save in the 10th tier of English football with Newcastle University, and I’m having a lot of fun!

 

Thank you for this thread, for your humor, and your superior story telling. Keep it up!

Haha, I'm honoured that I've made an impact in your FM enjoyment.

And to be honest, the way FM can be played nowadays you can really go years without buying a new one - hopefully your save also goes just as long!

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Preseason 2046

Transfers

Welp, that's yet another dismantling of an already settled 1st team.
Let's see...
-Richardson-Guishard and Cleo Francis were 2 of 3 left wingers at the entire club, and both were proper speedsters - instead we now only have Matthew Connor as our only LM.
-Kelsick was a very good GK himself and started most matches last season, but Hughes-Hamm's emergence means he'll find himself an almost certain 2nd choice this season. Not overly fussed about losing him, as it turns out replacing GKs is much easier than other positions.
-Smith-Scipio was the jewel in the crown of my system as a poacher playing RM, so him leaving put a massive spanner in the works - changing formations mid-preseason, all the works.
-Markman was one of 2 targetmen around, and well he sure was a marked man eh, leaving as well.
-Cordell Francis was a starting left back, still annoyed to lose another starter but with Low Determination I suppose there might be an improvement out there.
-Edwards-Thompson was a so-so midfielder who could've found a niche as our all-playing centreback (good jumper, strong, a playmaker's Preferred Moves) buuuut yeah even he left.

So yes, a few signings had to be made, that goes without saying:




-Herbert-Battice and Burris are for the U20s and might only make a few appearances (hopefully).
-I'd signed Ricardo Hughes for his ambipedality and fullback positions, but had completely missed his tendency to Avoid the use of His Weak Foot.
That and his actual lack of ability would've counted him out of 1st team football this season, but the Hip injury really nailed that point home.
-Calan Hughes is technically adept, needs a bit of work in his mentals but will be in and around the 1st XI.
-I mentioned that replacing backup GKs is much easier than other positions here, and Hodge-Kelsick was what I was referring to - another capable deputy to our wonderkid.
-I signed Richardson to be my 1st choice(!) leftback, and he's making me not want to play fullbacks at all - a yikes on my part.
-Brooks is probably the most convoluted signing this window - transfer-listed by Ballers, joined us on trial only to have the listing rescinded, rejected our contract offer so he went back to Ballers only to agree to a termination, and from there we pounced once again.
A very capable LCB/LB, will definitely start games.
-Richardson-Guishard did well in preseason while on trial, so the call was made for him to be our last addition to the team.
Not sure about the Low Determination, but an OK work rate should do him some good for the graft up top.



Preseason was... odd.
We had that streak of straight wins, but a loss and stalemate at the end does put a severe dampener on things.
Didn't help that I decided to push a 4-1-2-1-2 into our formation rotation - no instructions set, guys had barely any game time with it, no surprises that we fumbled for our final 2 matches.



Will probably go with this 3-5-2, massive amounts of shoehorning needed but hey, it got us that winning run after all.



Slated to finish just above the top half, a dangerous position to be in when considering that's the minimum target set by the board and with our significant player/tactical turnover.

Between Clubs

A new job wasn't immediately forthcoming despite multiple applications, though within 2 months they did eventually get back to me:

Shine bright like a...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWA2pjMjpBs

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diamond_FC



By all accounts a pretty successful side in Anguilla, with a couple of titles in the last decades, though their absolute best was nearly 20 seasons ago with 5 straight wins.



Quite a strong outfit, though I'm not sure what to make of our best players being youth graduates in the season just past.



Petty-Rogers is literally the youngest player at the club (yes, accounting for DOB) and he's already the best as well.
Quite worrying that he's already on other clubs' radar, though it's also a sign of his ability.



Hughes-Hamm is the other youth graduate, with already 15 Reflexes and an ok Aerial Ability he's likely going to start.



Connor's supposedly our best midfielder, though he's not all that great technically.
Decent pace, decent in the air, decent workrate - they all make up a decent option in the centre (that passing notwithstanding).



Anthony's a dead cert starting RB, and will in all likelihood provide the same verticality as Tendros back in Eritrea.
Or maybe not, not with his workrate anyway - preseason will determine that aspect of our tactic.

Preseason 2046/47

I don't think I've had a transfer roundup that summarised our window as completely:



2 key players out, and a former player's return as the top 3 moves of the window, and 3 of our 4 as a club.



Solomun leaving was a massive bummer, especially since he had rejected an improved deal to move to a newly promoted side, though we had a more than capable replacement in Mohamed Ali Salih.
Likewise for Al-Shammari, a young attacking midfielder who wasn't going to get any game time with Claver Alexander at the club.

Well about that... Nothing like a deadline day departure to blow up our best laid plans.
After Claver's shock departure we were left to scramble for another playmaker who was readily available and interested:



Luis Isak left at the start of last season for Denden, and started all their games but to little tangible effect, with only 2 assists and no goals in 25 starts.
Nevertheless, at such short notice he was probably our best option.



Preseason was so close to perfect, but for the shock reverse to non-league Hinsta that laid bare our issues up top - Yosief has pace but can't finish to save his life, and Abdoh, well the less said about him the better.



The bookies seemed to think the same too, expecting us to be knee-deep in a relegation battle.

But let's be honest here, if we win our next match I couldn't care less:




GET IN, that's Eritrea cleared as well.
A thoroughly terrible match as well, Denden really should've put us to the sword with their 4-3-3 (as they had done previously) but somehow they basically failed to turn up, with only 3 starters managing above a 6.5 rating.
So we dominated proceedings, but with the Chuckle Brothers up top you know they would never have scored even with another 90 minutes.
So it was left to Ogbagabriel, who in true shithouse fashion punted a freekick in that completely wrong-footed Denden's stopper for the winner.

--------------------------------------------------



I won't lie, this won't line up among my favourite stints, but from a efficiency perspective 3 trophies in about 6 months represents very good going.

Offseason 2046 (or, A Pacific Holiday)

Ok... Not many fullbacks of any quality, so I eventually settled on a 3-4-3.
Lots of giants on both ends of the pitch, good stuff for some hoofball.

Oh and spoiler alert, Maio Petaia? So he had incurred a suspension in the last Pacific Games.
It turns out that a bug in FM means as far as we can tell, he will never get to serve his suspension and is now (I believe) forever banned from the tourney - brilliant.



A decent set of friendlies on the eve of the tournament, as we try to get to grips with the new system.
3 draws and a win against FIFA-ranked sides represents very good form I would think.



Quite a mad game, rode our luck more than a few times, though with the missed penalty we really should have gone on to win.



A 1st win!
Defensively we definitely leave a lot to be desired, but the current tactic of somehow keeping up with goals of our own looks like it's working.



... Well to a point, anyway.
Fiji are Oceania's 3rd best side, and it showed as they outplayed us throughout, unfortunately.



So there we were, a respectable 2nd place in our group if I may say so myself, but not enough for the semifinal knockouts.
At least I wasn't sacked, so we'll hopefully have the next Pacific Mini games to look forward to in 4 years' time.
Another takeaway was the hoofball 3-4-3 that was implemented here - turns out you can do quite a bit if you have giants at the back and up top.

I think it's only a matter of time that they lock out mods altogether tbh, or at least team names etc

Transfers out, in what has to be said was a very late window - opened with 3 league matches left, and closed on the eve of the final day:



Still, there was more than a bit of action - 3 midfielders out, and tbfh I'm not fussed at all.
Mehbratu was probably the one I'd miss most, with his knack for late goals and relative creativity as Claver Alexander's playmaker deputy.
Andemariam and Seleman can't pass can don't make use of the strengths they have anyway, good riddance.




5 arrivals, and 3 forwards among the:
- Adem seems to have finishing touch but not the mentals or physicals. Nevertheless, he's still young and I always fall for bait like him.
- Aregay is bad, quite bad, but he can tackle and push opponents so he's in.
- Mehbratu's a archetypal target man, oh so slow but supposedly okay in the air.
- Meanwhile Yosief is one of the few strikers in Eritrea who has both pace and a smidge of reading of the game.
- Lastly, Zeratsion is now part of our central mid rotation. Not good at all by any means, but a very hard worker and free-kick taker gives him a fighting chance.

Anyway... Back to the league:



We jumped straight into the 2nd half of the season, and came out with out 1st loss. 3 wins on the trot followed as it seemed likely for us to coast to the title - well no, not really.
Crashing to 2 goals down to City Centre before scraping a draw, no goals against Akria, before absolutely bombing against Denden.
Worse was to come, completely losing the plot against relegation-threatened Asmara Brewery, where Abdoh ensured he'll go the last 4 league matches without scoring by getting himself sent off.
We then at least finish the season beating an already relegated Tesfa.

Normally such an appalling end to the season would see us lose the title, but with closest challengers Akria, Denden and Adulis Club either bottling it also or getting into form a tad too late:




We're champions - far from the most comfortable or enjoyable, but my days if a title isn't a title.

And as it turned out, while all that was going on we still had a cup to compete in:



Best win of the season, tore Asmara a new one even if the shot count didn't look as dominating as the scoreline suggested.



Well this came in the aftermath of the Denden loss, so we evidently still needed some time to get our wits back.
Completely outplayed, only saved by Alexander at the death, and somehow we found ourselves in the final!




Well I never, from such a shite season came a league and cup double.
Abdoh was dropped due to his sheer stupidity against Asmara, and Mehbratu repaid the faith in him with the early goal.
Edagahamus weren't really in the contest for some reason, and we saw it out with relative ease.

Season Review

(So it's a treble...?)



Players of the Season


Claver Alexander - absolute baller and heart of our midfield.
He might've needed to be paired with a rotating cast of characters, but as the constant distributor he pretty much performed regardless of the volatility next to him.



Our PoTY, Kiflom did well on the right and picked up quite a few assists.
I suspect it'll be his last season as a regular, though an obvious replacement hasn't quite appeared yet.


Ok, maybe I should give Abdoh his roses...
Still Eritrea's best striker when he's on it, he was just about good enough to score 1 in 2 despite some genuinely awful scoring droughts.
Hopefully with another 2 strikers around he'll feel the fire up his arse and actually give it a better go next season.



And our back 3, Solomun, Merid and Isak didn't exactly keep everything out towards the end of the season, but we still let in a league-low 14.
Isak looks like he's losing a bit of his physicals, but fingers crossed it's still enough as a successor is sought.

And well, before we end:



Well er, it turns out that the job I applied for on a whim after leaving Domagnano has returned...



Well at the very least we can be sure that there'll be something to do this offseason.

Gone (or going to be anyway), I really thought his thick skin will pull through and keep him in the job

Midseason 2045

A quick update for a quick half-season so far:



It's all been the league, and what a league it is, with their scheduling and all.

We started off with 3 wins in 8 days before a 24-day break, and then a gruelling 7-game month (6 of which we've already played of course).
After all this we get 1 (one!) game in June, before the schedule returns to a more conventional setup.

Adel Abdoh started off with a hat-trick, but after matchday 2 he's since failed to find the net - it's not that he's not contributed otherwise, with assists and general presence up top, but still.



Nevertheless, we've navigated through May without defeat and find ourselves top at the halfway point of the season.
A great defence was key to this run, with 5 clean sheets in 9 speaking for itself.

Preseason 2045

Our 1st window, and it has to be said that it's quite the drop from San Marino to Eritrea (I mean, well of course when you consider the 2 countries).
From having European and African countries' players to look into to only Eritrean players, and obviously no one from Domagnano would even consider leaving Europe to a totalitarian hellhole.

Couple of departures first - Redle was our backup goalkeeper, and Isak was only one of our apparent stable of creative midfielders, so we could deal with that loss.
Couple of incomings too:



Merid returns to the club after leaving for, then getting released by, City Center.
Not the best centreback, but his availability from the off meant he was signed first, to develop that defensive partnership with Quentin Isak.



Hussein is good apparently, great with setpieces and positioning.
Well he'd better be legit, because he'll be starting the season opener beside Merid due to Isak's suspension.



Tewelde was transfer listed by Denden, and with our current numbers at the back he was more than welcome to the club.
Will be in the U20s for the vast majority of the near future, but he will definitely start 1st team matches this season.



Weldu and Getge are objectively uninspiring players, with no more than 3 stars for potential ability.
Still, we need all the cover we can get, and at least they're young so the fanbase was happy with them.



Ah, well Tesfagabr they were deeply unhappy with.
Many parallels to the Giancarlo Giardi signing from 8 seasons ago, an ageing former international centreback who's literally around just for cover and coaching.
That didn't turn out too well, so hopefully this does if he does ever get game time.



Salih was unhappy at Tesfa due to a lack of game time, and I was only too happy to snap him up to be our next backup.
He'll need to improve by leaps and bounds to displace Solomun, though he's get the cups at the very least I think.



Preseason was fine...? No defeats, some decent mentality to come back from behind, and a great way to finish against last season's relegated Al-Tahrir.



Oof, quite the wild west here - 6 teams out of 10 can be considered title challengers.
I still don't see us as 2nd best - Adel Abdoh, as good as he is isn't a consistent goalscorer, while at the back we're also still lacking in cover.

Ok... 2 months pass before job applications got back to me



As usual, Red Sea came forward first, so they got the signature.

(De)parting (for) the Red Sea

And so we find ourselves in one of the most impoverished and oppressed countries in the world, with virtually no freedoms to speak of and a despot at the helm:


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Sea_FC

A very successful side who were league and cup champions only 2 seasons ago, this could end quickly - with instant success or failure is another matter entirely.



The most famous club in Eritrea



We have a crop of pretty talented midfielders and forwards, but at the back is where we find ourselves sorely lacking.



Abdoh will lead the line for us, an athletic forward who's not averse to putting himself on the line.
Apparently he's quite an inconsistent performer, which will no doubt make me want to tear my hair out as I've done so many times before.



Our best (only) centreback, Isak's a threat in the air and isn't too slow.



Alexander is mentally capable for a playmaking role, and with a half decent free kick on him he'll start games - just need better technique.



Behind Isak we have a more than capable stopper in Solomun, dodgy in 1v1s but hopefully the rest of his game makes up for it.



And our supposed hottest prospect, Seleman's already got the tenacity to be in midfield - now to just work on every other facet of his game.

Glad that we're receiving our flowers for that mental last season, well deserved.



Additionally, San Marino has managed to find itself back into the CL First Qualifying Phase for next season, and 2 teams into the EL First Qualifying Round instead of the Prelims.

Unfortunately... for this final run in Europe we had to start in that absolutely accursed CL Preliminary Round:



70%-ish fitness? Didn't prove to be an issue against Santa Coloma, as our strike duo again sealed the deal for us.



Ayiyiyiyi.... Granted, I should've been more conservative against an arguably superior Sheriff team, but honestly what was I supposed to do when the team finishes the match with fitness like this?
Nice near-comeback, but a near-comeback was all that this ended up being unfortunately.

So we lick our wounds and continue in the Europa League:



Ohhhhhh yeah, what a terrifying performance.
We played and lost to Dudelange a few years back, and while I was asking for revenge from the guys I certainly wasn't expecting this - no complacency, just a bloodlust for goals on the night.
Fun fact: Tocacelli was subbed off in 65mins with us 8 up and 4 goals and 3 assists individually - we went on to score another 5 goals, with new short-term signing Isaac Ebere finding another brace of his own for an impressive debut cameo.



B Team played, and even if they had more shots they simply didn't have the clinical ability or the mindstate to score in the 2nd leg.
Well we did, and once we did their heads went even more, ending with 2 dismissals.



Next up was Rosenborg, and my days was this a shit game.
We should've lost given their chances, but given our shots on target it was also a game that could've gone either way.



The turgid football continued back in San Marino, with neither side able to find any goalscoring ability - they continued to fire shots to the moon, while ours weren't testing the goalkeeper either.
But someone had to win, and as it turned out the turgidity continued to penalties, and we proved to be more shit in the end.

So the Domagnano adventure comes to an end - about 4 seasons too late on one hand, but my days the European runs were probably worth it, beating Lech Poznan and all that.



Oh and I finally got that Club Legend status, perfecto.

End of Season 2043/44

Cool performance in the quarters, no fuss throughout.



Same for the semifinal, I was expecting more from Tre Penne but that they couldn't muster a shot on target until their last minute goal speaks for itself.
Nicola Ceccoli had an off day in front of goal, but as long as the other striker's firing (Tocacelli) we're all good, as has been the case all season.



You take an off day in the semi and turn it up in the final - hat trick for Ceccoli within the half hour mark as we took apart Cailungo to finally, finally win the Coppa Titano.
The last trophy to my collection, and all it took was 7 seasons, 6 straight titles, the move to full-time and assembling the best squad in San Marino, probably ever.

Now for the championship playoffs to end this season on a high:



La Fiorita were dispatched of easily, no shots on target from them while the strike pair popped up with 1 each.



Oooooohhh.... Battling performance but it just wasn't to be on penalties.
Tangara was an absolute idiot getting himself an early bath in 26 minutes, but even with 10 men we still managed to win the possession battle and get in more shots.
Unfortunately, neither Tocacelli and Ceccoli couldn't keep up having to play a man down, and we needed a long range wondergoal from Barseghyan to equalise.
So it was doubly unfortunate that he too missed the final penalty to confirm our loss, interestingly our 1st loss in 7 years of playoffs football no less.



The beauty of double elimination playoffs is the 2nd chance teams get, and boy did we take ours.
Bindi was an absolute madness popping up in the box for a brace, and Ceccoli secured his own a minute after the 2nd to put the game to bed effectively.




Revenge is SWEET baby!
The double act teamed up again to put the game to bed, again within the half hour.
No second yellows this time (despite the 4 cautions before the interval), probably helped by Tangara being dropped for the final.
But yes, a fantastic way to end the 7 years here, a domestic treble and great run in Europe.

Season Review

I don't know how Pelliccioni has already been inducted into the Best XI, but at least Ugolini's also in.
Tocacelli, Micheli, Ceccoli et al will find themselves in there eventually, it's only a matter of time.



Ceccoli with a deserved PotY, though the top 3 within 10% shows the quality of performances we had across the team all season.



Tocacelli dominating the stats, though I did feel that he's had too many stinkers to win PotY.



A settled squad this season was a feature of our successes, with 10 players with over 30 starts.

Players of the Season



Ceccoli and Tocacelli was the established strike partnership this season, more than worthy successors to Michelotti and Ferrucci/Gennari.
They were occasionally frustrating with their profligacy but that's inevitable with their youth.



Both breaking records too, could be a force in the domestic game for the next 15 years if they're managed properly.



Behind them was the midfield triumvirate of Barseghyan, Bindi and Tangara.
Up till now I still have no idea how Bindi could be so good - he can't really pass, he can't really finish, isn't positionally sound, and yet he's usually one of the higher-rated players in games. Can't argue with his end product though, 13 goal contributions is a great return.
Tangara continued to be our creative force, his ball-carrying and dribbling outsmarting opposition midfields. Such a shame that he got himself stupidly sent off though, I had to drop him in the final to teach him a lesson.
Barseghyan was the destroyer behind this pair, with his athleticism helping to cover most of the midfield in front of the backline. Of course his main job was taking set-pieces, and while he didn't manage to score from a free-kick himself, he did put in many an assist over the season. Signed up for the next 3 seasons on low-ish too, will be an invaluable asset for years to come.



Michelotti had a bit of an injury-hit season, but nonetheless he still managed 6 goals and 7 assists in 14 starts.
No doubt there are better wingers out there, but if the club knows what it's doing it'll keep him as one of its local stars.

Lastly:



Good shit, and you're welcome San Marino.
I'll probably stay till the end of the European campaign as I look to bring them further into the CL qualifying before I leave.

Regular Season 2043/44

We picked up where we left off and continued tearing the league a new one, finishing with 9 straight wins.



And so we finish the league with 56 points (not a record somehow - La Fiorita managed 57 about 14 seasons ago) and an easy all-time record of 67 goals, an average of over 3 a game.
It'll probably increase too, probably won't happen but it'd be great if we managed 80 to finish off the season.



Coppa Titano was also professionally dealt with in the end, 3 straight wins to secure top spot and avoid any unnecessary drama.
Unfortunately... Not everything went swimmingly:



Absolutely brutal for a 20-year old to do his cruciates.



The winningest team in the group stage, though with Fiorentino and Tre Penne also going unbeaten they sure are in heat as well.

A bit of transfer activity as well:



Cassiano leaves, not played much for the 1st team since the full-timers came in, and spent most of his time leading the U19s to their own demolition job in the youth level.



Jose Antonio is already better and has a clearly higher ceiling - at 18 he also has 1 more year to stay in the youths, before we determine his medium- to long-term future.
Liking these signings too, the 18-year olds that have talent and don't mind taking minimum pay to develop in the youths while providing cover.



Brandt comes in as cover for next season's European campaign - Biaggio's not going to stay for that and Pellicioni has shown on multiple occasions that he's barely San Marino level (less said of George Michael the better), so it was imperative that we look for a temporary upgrade.

Lastly, another intake:




yeah unfortunately it's another bum year, as our rapidly improved squad has pretty much left the current youth development behind and laid bare the fact that we can no longer coast without a proper HoYD.



Guerra's fine, not a world beater and in all likelihood not going to usurp Pietro Ugolini, but he seems pretty versatile and we could yet develop him into a DM.



Bologna was the only other graduate of note - I'dve snatched your hand off for him just 2 seasons ago, but with our already established strike pair and backups he'll need to fight his way to the 1st team.
Well I say that, any self-respecting manager would've released Claudio Michelotti and Simone Ferucci already, but I'm not going to let club legends go put it that way.

Midseason 2043/44

Steamrollering through the vast majority of matches with at least 3 goals in all our wins.
Arguably the only black mark on our results is the occasional mental block that seems to occur randomly, which leads to dropped points against usually easy sides.



A goal difference of +32 says it all, and with the added benefit of a relatively easier group this season our qualification to the playoffs as top seeds are all but certain.

But of course for the 6th straight season, our actual focus is on the Coppa Titano:



A 2nd string cup team has been sufficient in finishing the job, though obviously not in anywhere near the dominance of the league performances.



Still very much all to play for in the groups, so with the league in a good position we'll probably fully move priorities to the cup.