Carry on wayward son, the journey’s finally begun

Could you call it picturesque where I started out? Possibly. It’s the capital city of Uruguay and probably it’s best and most welcoming. But the sight seeing and what not had to wait, I have a job on my hands. Well a couple of jobs:

• Save the team from relegation
• Improve the morale around the club
• Develop the clubs youth players
• Not get sacked

One of those I’ve added to the list myself, not sure if you can guess which one? Either way this clubs in a mess. Expected to finish bottom of the league and relegated and with money troubles that would worry most established coaches, but not me. I’m here to make the most of it, and if we go down then sugar we’re going down swinging. I just hope they don’t listen to Fallout Boy here. Not that I do, honest.

I’m nervous. Not because of the fact I’m about to take charge of a football team, an actual football team not a kids team like I volunteered at back home in Motherwell, but because of the copious amount of prescription painkillers I’ve taken and booze I’ve supped prior to walking in the door of the changing that first morning. I was having kittens as the players all looked round at me waiting to hear from their new boss for the first time.

As I walked in to the room the first thing I noticed was how many players there are. The chairman had said one thing I will need to do is trim the squad and with it the wage bill, but that was for another day. Today was about asserting my dominance.

‘Right, I’m Jock your new manager, but you can call me The Boss. Anyways you don’t know me and I do not know you, but one thing is for sure, you’re not gonna stuff my first shot at management. Between us we’ll stay up in the league this season and really push on as a team. Any questions?’ I was still having the figurative kittens as I stood there in front of the players, none of which I’ve ever heard of explaining my grand plan.

Silence. My worst enemy. Well worst after stairs. Walking stairs with my back is absolute agony. But I’d have happily killed all of those kittens I was having one by one if it would’ve helped my nerves in that first meeting with the squad. But what state is this team or the club in that they’d happily hire a manager with a crippling painkiller addiction and with less experience than a level 1 Rattata? If you get that reference you’re probably of a similar age to me and I love you for that. If not ask your parents. I’m going off track here, let me dial it back slightly.

We eventually have a training session and it’s clear who the stand outs in this squad are. Captain and center half Andres Fernandez and forward Julian Lalinde are who I notice first

I think I’ll be able to rely upon Fernandez to do a job at the back despite the previous manager only having him as a back up, which makes me wonder why he’s the captain.

But Lalinde looks like the type of target man / back to goal forward that needs someone running off of him, which is where Miguel Puglia will step in

I’ve been brought up watching absolutely dire Scottish football so I know 4-4-2 inside out, which is what we’ll be playing, at least early on. I don’t want to try and get too technical or use too many instructions, this lot are expected to be relegation fodder for a reason so we’ll be keeping things simple for the time being.

One thing that stood out to me was the lack of a solid right full back. I tell the clubs director of football and he lets me know that he’s already filled that void, that was apparently picked up by the previous manager. Indian national team regular Nabi was signed on a free.

Whilst the fans aren’t too happy about this deal apparently, I am. He might not be solid at every position but he is comfortable playing almost everywhere on the pitch which I am sure will help as we get our first season together underway.

The players don’t look as bad as the media prediction make out, at least in my mind. But I’m not sure what’s worse, me having them to rely on or them having me to lead them.

== == == == ==

Cross posted at The Journeyman Jock

Perfect thank you

At some point in December 2016 I found myself having a Skype call with Raul Aquino who is the chairman of Montevideo Torque, and it started out like a fan looking for information on the team but quickly turned into an informal job interview.

We had a good chat and spoke of a lot of things. I told him I’m young, determined, handsome and have a lot of playing experience to fall back on. He told me most coaches in Uruguay won’t go near his team due to the failed deal with The City Group, so he decided that he’s got to look for a foreign coach. He didn’t elaborate but hinted at some bribes and shady deals going on that cost him the City Group deal.

He probably thought an out of work painkiller addicted Scotsman would be the last person to contact the club, yet there we were. I got the feeling he was desperate for a manager to come in and stabilise the team as morale in the locker room and fan base was low. Oh, and he said the club don’t even own their own stadium any more and now ground share with Bella Vista FC, as they had spent all the clubs money battling rising court costs due to the deal falling through.

We discussed my own career aspirations and where I wanted it to go. I didn’t have much of answer as I’d not actually thought about it, save for winning the league, cup and Champions League with Motherwell, but that was good enough for him I think. I thought on the fly and said if given the chance at his club I’d do my best to stableise the locker room, and maybe get them into the top division before moving on but not before making sure the club is in a better position than it was when I took over.

‘This is no mission impossible Jock, but certainly mission very difficult’ he said in broken English as we wrapped things up and said our goodbyes. In my mind Torque are perfect really. A place to start where no one I know will be able to hound me or chase unpaid debts or give me a hard time, a small enough club that the fan base isn’t toxic and won’t make things hard for the team and they’re in a bad place so anything I do would possibly be seen as overachieving.

I go back to my daily grind of overdoing it with prescription painkillers, more on that as we go, maybe. But I don’t hear anything from Raul for a week and actually forgot about the interview. But being unemployed get’s real boring real quick just watching the days click by. There’s no other jobs that would either take me or I’m interested in. East Kilbride? No thanks. My pal Ginners plays for them so they’re a no, plus the only team in my country I ever want to be in charge of or work at is Motherwell. Moyola Park in Northern Ireland? Haha you’re having a laugh. Perlis in Malaysia would laugh in my face at the minute. I also see Crystal Palace, Everton and Nottingham Forest are on the look out as well, but none of them would have the stones to take me on at the minute.

But then my phone beeped with a Gmail notification. I see the subject line – contracto de embargo which I quickly translate to attachment contract. He must have just uploaded the contract as an attachment without changing the subject. I open the mail and read it with delight:

Jock, I want you to be my new manager. I’ve arranged flights from Glasgow to Montevideo. We’ll discuss things when you arrive.

Yours, Raul.

== == == == ==

Cross posted at https://thejourneymanjock.com/the-beginning/

I stood there, arms aloft scanning the crowd looking for her, but she must’ve been camouflaged in orange and black along with the rest of them. I turned to my left towards the John Hunter stand and all I could see was more arms and smiling faces, but not hers.

Someone jumped on my back and excitedly screamed ‘We’ve fucking done it boyo we’ve fucking done it’ and all I could do was smile back, I just wanted to find her and share this moment with her and only her, fuck the others.

Eventually I found her, she was in the Tommy Maclean stand right in the far corner not amongst the orange but she was mired in green and white, green and fucking white! Her arms were round some snot gobblers body as she was kissing him. I felt the steam coming out of my ears as I raced toward the stand screaming and arms flailing aimlessly.

As I approached the stand that was housing the Celtic fans, the security guards waltzed toward me their own arms raised telling me something about it’s not worth it, you’ve already won don’t set them off, but one of the fucktards was playing tonsil tennis with my girl so fuck the 3 points now I’m looking for blood.

I made my way up the steps in the stand hitting Celtic fans with left hooks and right hooks, bodyslams and uppercuts and I even gave an old lady a Stone Cold Stunner for good measure. As I finally made it to the far corner where she was sat my rage intensified. Not only was she necking on with someone else but that someone else was only James McFadden, my fucking hero of all people!

I screamed at her wanting an explanation that wasn’t forthcoming. She let go of James who smiled awkwardly at me and I was tempted to ask for an autograph but thought better of it. She steadied herself and turned around and I got the shock of my life. It wasn’t my beloved secondary school sweethearts face but it was Nicola Sturgeon that greeted me. She stuck her tongue out, reached in my direction expecting, what, I don’t know and I didn’t want to find out.

It was then I woke with a jolt, sweaty and breathing heavily. It was just a dream, luckily. I raced to the bathroom and emptied the full tube of toothpaste into my mouth. It might only have been a dream but Nicola Sturgeons gums were too close to mine for comfort.

Ever since calling it a day on the pitch due to injury I’d been having these weird dreams and all of them are football related somehow, this last one I was playing for my beloved Motherwell and we’d just smashed the green and white dog nonces in the league. I’m young, 28 to be exact, and I’d been having this itch to get back into football somehow despite only being out of it for a couple of months. I’ve been volunteering down the sports center in town and doing online courses for coaching but it’s not enough.

One night sometime in 2016 I had another dream, except this one was sort of reality based. I dreamt I’d gone to Uruguay to become a coach at Montevideo Torque, the team The City Group, who run Manchester City and other teams under their umbrella company had recently taken over. We won the league and I got offered a long term deal, it was then that I woke up, not with a jolt this time.

I decided I’d get in touch with Montevideo Torque just to see how they were getting on and if the Man City deal was paying dividends yet. I soon found out that the City Group deal fell through at the last minute. I also found out that Torque finished fourth in the second division in the shortened 2016 season, and as luck would have it they were looking for a manager.

== == == == ==

Cross posted at https://thejourneymanjock.com/

Please can I get kits for my new long term save at Montevideo Torque

Kit sponsor Addidas

Sponsor - Etihad Airways

Similar sort of style to this if possible:

Home Kit - Sky blue same as Man City but with the white trim

Away Kit - White with sky blue trim

3rd Kit - Red in any style

Thanks in advance.

Nigata Unicorn must've fallen on bad times they're usually the Celtic of Singapore in my saves. Interested to see how this goes for you

When I scrolled and saw Orlando Pirates I immediately thought of the ones in South Africa. However this will be a challenge like you've not faced yet. Good luck.

‘Lock up your wives and kids, we’re playing the tried, tested and boring 4-2-3-1’ I yelled at the players as they all looked on wide eyed albeit slightly taken back by my tone.

I didn’t want to play this formation really, everyone and their brother plays it, but as we’ve already seen the 3 best players at the club fit into this set up easy and under the guy I replaced they’ve been playing some atrocious 3-6-1 effort to no avail, going back to basics I think is the best thing to do

I also tell the lads to get revenge on Warriors (great team name by the way) since they beat us before I took over. It worked as most of the players responded positively, although that didn’t translate in the match at first.

Warriors were easily the better team early on. Despite our superior quality in midfield Warriors took the lead. Abraham out on their right hand side hit a first time time cross which found Karoglan he ran between our center halves for an easy goal

We equalised right from kick off however. A long ball from central midfield found Zerka in the box who played it into the area for Ahmad Latiff to get on the end of to level it up

We got in at the half at 1 each and I told the players to keep playing as they as we’d been the better team from the goal, but couldn’t find another way through.

We did get the breakthrough early in the second as captain and left winger Wilkinson got a goal which we definitely deserved.

Ahmad had broke the offside trap but his touch was bad and took him to the by-line. He recovered well though and crossed it in to the far post where Wilkinson was wide open and headed it in the net. 2-1 and we are in control.

The fightback from Warriors came as expected but we held on to the lead, although we weren’t under much pressure really. We pushed on for a third and get it on 66 minutes, Latiff doubling his tally on the day with Wilkinson turning provider this time

Getting the ball out wide on the right he had acres of space to run into, which he did and easily beating the covering defender. He cut inside on his right foot and played the ball into Latiff who was running inside the area. He hit it first time beyond the keeper to give us a 3-1 lead

Not content with just getting 2 on the day Latiff completed his hat trick with 20 minutes left to play. Ramdani in the middle found Zerka cutting in on the right, he played a first time pass into Latiff who struck it as sweet as you like around the keeper to give us a 4-1 lead

A couple of subs and a formation change succeeded the goal as I knew no matter how bad this time had played up until now, no way would we concede 3 in the last 20 minutes. Warriors seemed out of it and had a couple of half chances, but nothing to worry about.

We ended the game on the front foot and saw it out to give us a 4-1 win in the first leg of the Singapore cup quarter final and my first match as a manager.

Maybe it was just the new manager effect but we deserved the win. We’ll be sticking with the 4-2-3-1 at least until the end of this season. We’ve got a handful of league games and the Singapore League cup to go as well as the second leg of the quarter final against Warriors, although I was sure they wouldn’t over turn the 3 goal deficit they need.

To which I was right. We took the lead in the second leg through a fantastic free kick, played well and got a second goal with 20 minutes to go, to put us into the semi final 6-1 on aggregate

We’re drawn against Yangon United of Myanmar in the semi

Not sure what to make of the draw. On the one hand we should have enough about us to get the win, although on the other Yangon beat Hougang United who beat us before I took over, although we did beat them in the reverse fixture. 

Hopefully the 2 wins in the cup form the basis for the rest of our season

== == == == == == ==

Our search for a striker didn’t take too long. The clubs director of football conveniently already signing Sahil Suhaimi from fellow S League side Young Lions in a 12k deal.

Probably overpaid for him to be fair. He's not a world beater but knows the league and has a semi decent 4 in 9 for Young Lions last season. What I’d not noticed until the club signed Suhaimi is just kicking back in the reserves side was another forward, Ismael Benahmed which makes me think the deal for Suhaimi might be a waste of money.

Both are similar in that they’re as quick as each other, decent enough finishing for this league as well as being able to get into position off the ball some of the time. But with the 3 best players for us playing in the AML, AMC & AMR spots, it seems overkill playing 2 strikers in front of them, so do I go with both of the forwards on the bench or not? We’ll see.

As mentioned there’s some up and comers I’ll try and keep an eye on and I was pleasantly surprised to see James Maddison securing his first pro deal at Coventry City. 2023 me didn’t realise he started at Coventry, I genuinely thought he came through the youth team at Leicester. **Checks Wikipedia…….** Holy crap he was at Norwich as well?!? Shows how much footballing knowledge I have! Wonder what other young players I’ve forgotten about turn up in this save.

Ahead of the first game of my career we also secured a deal for out of contract center half Benoit Croissant. I asked the director of football if he is named after a breakfast food, to which he confirms our new defender is. C'est la vie then, or whatever that saying is. Playing over 100 times for our divisional rivals Tampines, he’s easily our best defender now, but the niggling question of why he was released is in my mind.

== == == == == == ==
 

‘Why do you think you’re the right man for the job?’

‘Well not to brag but the game picked me for the job’

‘The game? As in football, the beautiful game?’ the snotty nosed drip from the Singaporean Football Gazette asked

‘No, this game, FM….Oh never mind you wouldn’t get it’

The journos can smell fear I’m sure of it. What they don’t realise is that I was hand picked for this job, the first of at least 6 jobs on my quest for the Pentagon of football manager. The 5 Holy Grails of the footballing world. I’m not tied into staying at 1 team or giving any set amount of time to try and win a Champions League. I’m not here for a quick time, I’m here, like the rest of us FM’ers I’m here for a good time.

Lets fucking go.

== == == == == == ==

This is an attempt at the Pentagon challenge. It’s in FM14 for a couple of reasons. First is FM14 was the first FM since I started playing that I stopped doing 1 club saves, and that ties into reason number 2.

FM14, where inside forwards were all the rage, was the version that holds the best save for me, and that’s saying a lot considering I’ve played every version from CM99/00 to FM23. Ditching the 1 club save formula on 1 save that lasted until the FM16 cycle, this save was so good I only picked up FM15 right before 16 dropped, I managed a host of clubs including (teams I remember) in no particular order Wellington Phoenix, Perth Glory, Tianjin, Kitchee, Amkar Perm, Zenith, NY Red Bulls, York City, Gangwon & Pohang Steelers. I remember I did around 100 seasons and won a handful of things but don’t think I ever topped the hall of fame or won all 5 continents champions leagues.

== == == == == == ==

To lay the scene out, it’s summer 2013 and Bayern Munich have just won the UEFA Champions League, beating fellow German side Borussia Dortmund 2-1 in the final. Atletico Mineiro won the COPA Libertadores on penalties against Paraguayan side Olimpia. Monterrey of Mexico won the Concacaf Champions League for a third year running. The African and Asian champions league of 2013 are still ongoing.

Man United had just won their 13th Premier League title and shortly thereafter Sir Alex retires. He hand picks David Moyes to succeed him. West Brom randomly finished 8th. Newcastle fans hatred for owner Mike Ashley is starting to pick up steam after a poor 16th place finish. Sunderland survived thanks to 3 points from Newcastle in the derby.

Juventus just won their second straight Serie A title. Nothing seems out of the ordinary here. Will they make it three in a row?

Gareth Bale left Spurs for Madrid for a record fee. Neymar left Santos for Barcelona in a deal which sparked investigations from the footballing authorities. Mezut Ozil left Real Madrid for Arsenal in another big money move.

PSG had won their third Ligue 1 title and first under their mega rich owners. Could this be the start of a dynasty? Zlatan was Zlatan and scored 30 that season.

Raul had left Schalke for the bright lights and mega bucks of Qatari club Al-Sadd. The Indian Super League was just becoming a thing. Del Piero is the best player in Australia by a country mile.

Up and coming footballers by the names of James Maddison, Jack Grealish, Marco Veratti, Memphis Depay, Ravel Morrison, Eder Fabian Balanta, Rafael Varane, Luke Shaw, Alvaro Morata and Emre Can to name a few were being touted as future stars.

Celtic probably won the league by 50 points. Rangers were somewhere lower down the leagues trying to get back to the big time and battle it out with Celtic.

== == == == == == ==
 

No one really knows how I got started at Tanjong Pagar United (No, me neither), it kind of just happened, like there was a button that says pick team for me and boom, I was walking into the doors of The Queenstown Stadium in Singapore and being introduced to the players.

But do you know how hard it is to make it in football? I mean even in a country such as mine, Canada if you’re wondering, where our football is described as terrible at best, to not being able to get a job, paid or otherwise in football is just depressing, so I was pleasantly surprised to have been given the job at Tanjong on an 18 month deal until the end of the 2014 season. The league runs February to September, with a couple of cups chucked in.

We definitely will not be playing that 3-6-1 abomination of a tactic the previous manger used.

For a team expected to finish third in the league, a run of 5 wins from 17 sees them 10th of 12 when I took over. Luckily there’s no relegations from the S league, but after 22 games the league splits in to 2 groups to determine the winner and who finishes bottom.

A bit of history, they’ve won both cups in Singapore plus a handful of lower leagues and have got a couple of decent players we can definitely work with.

I’m not surprised they’re struggling really. The 3-6-1 set up they’ve played all season doesn’t inspire me. There’s a couple of players that stand out to me who I’ll be building the team around. First choice left winger and captain John Wilkinson, right winger Monsef Zerka and attacking midfielder Kamel Ramdani look to be the 3 most creative players we’ve got and the natural thing to do would be play them as the 3 in a 4-2-3-1 set up

The best striker we’ve got is Ahmad Latiff, although he’s not been as prolific as we’d like. Despite being the teams leading scorer, 4 goals in 14 league games doesn’t fill me with confidence.

To put it in comparison, the leagues leading scorer is on 11 in 16 at Tampines. Luckily the transfer window is open and we’ve got money to spend.
 

== == == == == == ==

Short term goal – Find a reliable goal scorer. Sort the defence out. Avoid finishing bottom of the S league and try and have a good run in the cups.
 

== == == == == == ==

Luck o' the Irish - Chance always favors the brave

‘I’m glad you’ve agreed to speak to me’ The man said holding out his hand. I shook it and sat down

‘It’s okay. I’m flattered to have been asked to’

‘You’ve done well in 2 years at Boca. Why are you looking to leave?’

‘I’m not actually looking. You asked to speak to me and I said yes’

‘Okay, but why us and why now?’

‘Lincoln Red Imps are the biggest team here. I’d be stupid not to at least speak to you’

As the interview went on we discussed various things, my time at Boca and the 3 trophies I’d won, my plans for the future and other football related things. I tried, and failed to portray someone with a grand plan or an idea of how I want my team to play

‘Look, I’ll level it with you. Forget telling me your plans about tactics, or styles of play of any attractive Arsenal or Barcelona tiki taka bull shit. I need you to win football matches by any means. I don’t care if the goalkeeper takes corners blindfolded as long as we score more than the opposition. I’m sure you understand’

I did. And I told him as much.

‘We’ve won the league 15 times in the last 16 years. We’re winners, the standard bearers of Gibraltar if you will. Last season was a shit show of a year and those shits at College Europa, Lynx and Glacis have got a fire in their belly now. We finished fourth. FOURTH!’ He said the number with the sort of finality a judge gives when sentencing someone to life in prison.

He didn’t let me speak before continuing ‘It’s a season of transition for us. A couple of players have retired, a few more are leaving and we’re not even expected to finish in the top 3. All I want is for us to win the league title again, this season or next. After that we’ll review things’

‘I’ve just won the cup and we’re in the Europa league qualifying rounds. Why would I want to miss out on that?’ Sensing some desperation in him I tried my hand at negotiating, something I know I’m no good at, and failed

‘Because your team there is shit at best, you’ll get knocked out by some team in Luxembourg or in the arse end of The Farore Islands. You got lucky in the cup, all the teams you played you’d beat this season in the league, you didn’t play any of the good teams, not to mention playing a second tier team in the final. You got lucky son, like you had someone pulling the strings for you’

That hurt, a lot. Part of me wanted to scale the desk and stick him with a left right left combo, but knowing the state my back is in by the time I’d slowly arisen from the chair, climbed over the desk looking like a new born baby scaling stairs and thrown the weakest looking haymaker the worlds ever seen, he’d have probably died from laughing too much anyway.

I wanted to prove that I could hang in this managerial game. I knew the squad at Boca wouldn’t be improved, Andy had made that clear. And really we did get lucky in the cup as we played teams around us in the league and a second division team in the final. Lincoln are like the Celtic of Gibraltar and one bad season doesn’t make a team. I’d already decided I’m taking the job, so asked for 2 things in return

‘I want to bring my own assistant in’

‘Done. Anything else?’

‘Well you came calling to me without asking about my contract. I’m not an arrogant man, but you came to me so that tells me other teams will do eventually as well. I want a release clause in my contract’

‘No, I won’t be doing that. I’m only putting a 1 year deal on the table. Monty did the same with you and you got promoted and won the cup, then he gave you another year and you won another cup so I expect something similar. I’ve done a bit of background on you, I know you have friends here, that English lad, the chick in the bar’ Nosey fucker. ‘I doubt you’re going to suddenly leave anyway Scott’

He was right. I wasn’t going to leave Gibraltar any time soon and to be fair an opportunity like this doesn’t come up often enough.

Upon leaving the interview I ran into Ace and had a chat about the job as I was sure I was taking but didn't want him to know that.

‘I hear things around the league, and as far as I’m aware Liam Walkers gonna be available. You sign him and the league won’t be ready for you’

‘He didn’t do too much at Glacis this season though’

‘So what? For this division he’s absolute mustard and just needs the kind of squad at Lincoln to thrive. The Glacis squad is piss poor and nothing like Lincolns. As for the rest of the squad I’m sure it’s just 1 defender away from the league title’

‘What makes you so sure?’

‘Call it intuition mate. And look at it this way, you win the league this year it’s bound to open doors for you I’m sure of it’

So after 2 years and 3 trophies at Boca Juniors, I was given the opportunity at Lincoln Red Imps. The press had put whoever took the job would be guaranteed a league title, although they failed to point out the club finished fourth in the league the season just ended and a huge 13 points off top spot. 

But I was going up in the world, I just had to let Andy, the Boca owner know first.

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted at On The Break here

Luck o' the Irish - The second cup final

The Rock cup final, Gibraltars FA cup was a game for the first time in 2 years we were the favourites for. That was only because we were the Primera division team and Phoenix weren’t, which was 1 thing in our favour. The other was that our path to the Rock cup final this season was considered easy for us, as we avoided the country’s 2 biggest teams Lincoln Red Imps and College Europe, who were knocked out by Europa Point (a second division team) and Glacis United (who we beat in the semi) respectively.

The players made their way to the pitch ready to get going. I didn’t say much else to them other than we should be winning this game without too much trouble and that the cup win was as good as ours.

The huddled media, all 8 of them were standing at the tunnel as I made my through it to the dugouts. I shook hands with the Phoenix manager who said 'looking forward to another defeat Scotty' in English, and being half Italian (Italian dad) and fluent, I replied 'terza volta il fascino, succhicazzi' which means third times the charm dicksuker. He didn't react much to my disappointment.

As soon as the game kicked off I knew, or at least I felt like I knew. I knew regardless of how the game plays out we’re not losing it. We passed the ball around really well, well enough for a piss poor part time team from Gibratlar anyway. We held on to it for a long time before Robba had a shot that flew right over the cross bar. It didn’t phase us that miss. As soon as the Phoenix keeper kicked it long, Power at center half controlled it and was under no pressure at all. I could hear Alexis, my captain and soon to be backroom staff screaming and waving his arm frantically ‘Give it here and go go go’ and Power passed him the ball and went forward.

Alexis lifted it up and Power headed it down to Gonzalez in the AMC spot, he controlled it with his left and played it forward to Robba, all while Power was still pushing on. Robba held it up well and played it to his left onto Powers left foot, he took a touch, waited for the defender to commit himself before playing Robba back in on the inside right channel.

As Robba received the ball Power went outside causing the second defender to go with him leaving a gaping hole through the middle. Robba saw the gap and gently tapped a through ball onto the onrushing Gonzalez who thundered it home from just inside the area. First blood Boca Juniors

One of the staff on the Phoenix bench had looked my way and said something in Spanish, I couldn’t quite make out what he said but I replied ‘go fuck your mother’ in Italian. He didn’t respond just as I was expecting.

The game restarted after the goal on 28 minutes and finally Phoenix woke up and looked to give us a bit of a game. They resorted to long ball this early in the game but we were equal to it. Alexis, despite being a full back by trade handled the runs from their forwards well enough and he and Power were once again involved in the next goal of the game.

A long diagonal ball was cut out by Alexis just inside our area and this time it was Power screaming for the ball. He received it and caught everyone by surprise when he darted forward with the ball at his feet. He took it into their half before being closed down, but when he did he found Gonzalez wide open again. As Gonzalez took control of the ball he turned, saw Robba making a cutting run across the box and as sweet as could be just tapped the ball with the outside of his boot into the space Robba was running onto.

He, Robba, took a touch, faked a shot which caught the defender off guard who tried to block the shot that never came and took him out of the game momentarily. The keeper wasn’t as fooled and stood his ground but that was his downfall. Had he moved off his line he might have made up the space between him and Robba, but he didn’t and our striker had more time than he knew what to do with but found the far corner of the goal with the keeper just stood there.

Second blood and a 2 goal advantage Boca Juniors

Half time came and there wasn’t much to say. We’d been the better team, Phoenix hadn’t threatened us at all during the half and Hermida in goal hadn't touched the ball once in the game, seriously. I told the players just go out there and carry on playing like we are and that trophy is ours.

We kicked off the second just like we finished the first, with a goal. Gonzalaez doubling his tally on the day with a touch and turn finish inside the box after Robba had dribbled to the byline and pulled it back for Gonzalez. More than 40 minutes to go and we’re in the driving seat

Phoenix had given up by this point. They made their 3 subs at the same time shortly after the goal and they did actually cause us a problem. One of the subs was a big tank of a forward and he was immediately bullying Alexis around but despite winning his share of headers, his knock downs were either cut out by Power or the other forward for Phoenix was nowhere to be found.

We rode the waves of the Phoenix attacks without really being under much pressure save for Aleixs getting bullied, but we made the quality on the day count as we added a fourth goal to seal the deal.

Robba also doubling his tally on the day with a well worked individual goal. His darting runs caused issues all game long and on this occasion he had to stop inside the area, play a one two with Gonzalez and put the ball over the keeper who decided to come off his line that time.

Game, set, match. Scenes.

Once we got back to the dressing room and calmed down from the celebrations, we were given our medals and lifted the Rock Cup. This would be the clubs third trophy in just 2 seasons under my management but I had a niggling feeling the owner wouldn’t be too thrilled for whatever reason.

During that season I’d spoke to Andy a grand total of 3 times. I had a niggling feeling things weren’t going well with him but he never interfered in the team and only really got on my nerves by how little he did with the team.

From the cup final win and subsequent party at the Quartermasters Wife, I went home to my rented flat to get a couple of hours sleep. The next day I had a scheduled meeting I didn’t want to miss.

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted at On The Break here.

Luck o' the Irish - The poison was the cure

I took the needle out of my lower back slowly and relaxed. The effects of the painkillers hitting me almost instantly. This time it was cortisone injections, usually only available through the doctors and I’d found just the right spot in my back to inject. I walked out of the cubicle without flushing and the guy washing his hands looked at me in a puzzled way, so I smiled and said ‘buenos dias amigo’ and carried on walking out. My Spanish was coming along slowly but surely.

Today was a big day for a number of reasons. The first was the pain in my back was non-existent, always a good thing. The second was it’s the Rock Cup final. We’re playing Gibraltar Phoenix, who were the first team I managed against. We lost that game as well as the second league meeting with them, so snapping a three game losing streak against them meant this game was there to be won. It also helped that they were still in the second division and we’re a Primera division team.

The third is I had a phone call earlier that day asking about my availability. I thought it was a joke by Ace or someone else, but it was a genuine call. I was honest when I said I didn’t want to talk about anything, football or otherwise, until after the cup final.

As I made my way into the changing room there was a hushed silence and the players all looked my way. I’m no mind reader but I could tell something was up just by the deafening silence that greeted me. I looked around the room and knew what the issue was right away

‘Where is he?’ I asked no one in particular. Silence. My second nemesis, after stairs. Trying to walk stairs with my back is fucking agony.

‘Where is he?’ I asked again, getting slightly annoyed. Silence greeted me once again.

I saw Kevagn Robba lean towards Alex and whisper something

‘Share it with the rest of us Kev or you’re dropped’

‘Why?’

‘You got something to hide?’

Alex stood up ‘No, he hasn’t boss, it’s just, well…’

‘Speak up man what is it?’ I yelled, frustration getting to boiling point now.

‘It’s her’ Brad Power said

‘Who?’

‘I don’t wanna get him into trouble, it’s just….’ I cut him off, ready to start swinging

‘Trouble lad? Trouble?!? It’s the biggest football game in this clubs, yours and my fucking life and you’re worried about getting Lee into trouble for being late?!’

‘Fuck it’ Brad said before carrying on ‘It’s that whore Two Penny Jenny again. He can’t keep away from her’

‘Two Penny Jenny? Elaborate’

‘She’s a lady of the night, a street worker, a sex worker they’re called in some places, a prostitute if you will’

‘I know what they are Brad you don’t need to go into much detail. What’s this got to do with Lee?’

I could see the rest of the players looking at Brad as if subliminally telling him to go on, tell him, which luckily he did ‘Well Two Penny Jenny, she’s in high demand, I mean I think she is, or so I’m told I mean, anyway it’s not the first time he’s had issues with her’

‘He’s not killed her has he’ was what I wanted to say, but I just looked at Brad and let him carry on

‘He’s at the doctors again. He text me, it might herpes or syphilis this time’

‘This time, has this happened before?

‘Three times’ I heard someone behind me say, I didn’t turn to see who

‘Right whatever, I haven’t got time to be dealing with this shit now. The FA fucking cup final and this is what we have to put up with, what it is Alex?’ I saw him trying to get my attention

‘It’s the Rock Cup final, not the FA Cup’

‘Shut up will ya’. We’re gonna have to forget about Lee and concentrate on the game and decide how we’re going to line up without our only other natural center half. Go get warmed up’

The players all left the changing room to head to the pitch, Alex stayed behind. I’d realised that despite only being in the job just shy of 2 years, I’d been far too soft on the players, and it would be something I need to work. Alex broke the silence eventually

‘I can do it’

‘Do what?’

‘Play center defence’

‘You’re a right back. You’re tiny. You’ll get mauled’

‘Shut up I'll handle any of their strikers' Fighting talk, I like it. 'I wouldn’t say I could do it if I can’t. Stick the young lad Sims in my spot, I’ll move over. No one else can or will’

I let the thought hang there for a bit before I said ‘Okay, let’s go with that then. Also this stays between us, why is she called Two Penny Jenny?’

‘Well in a boozer somewhere there’s a machine that sells flavoured cigs that she’s always puffing on, and they’re 2 Euro’s each, so I’m told I don’t actually know. 

Anyway, as long as you pay her with at least 2 1 Euro coins she’s yours, hence Two Penny Jenny’

‘That can’t be true’

‘I wouldn’t know boss’ he said, sheepishly.

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted at On The Break here.

Luck o' The Irish - The quartermaster's wife

The doors to the bar slammed shut as I walked in but no one paid it any mind. I’d been coming to this little bar, The Quartermasters Wife, on and off since I landed in Gibraltar. I’d got to know the bar staff, all 2 of them pretty well. I sat at the end of the long bar where I usually sat, and the girl, Ali, brings me the pint of Guinness I always have.

‘Tastes like piss’

‘I’ll give you 1 thousand Euro if you say that out loud where I’m from’

‘You’re on’ she says, smiling, in a conversation we have every day

After looking around the place our eyes catch each others and I say ‘Just the 2 of us, how terribly exciting’

‘Lock the door, I’ll get the stuff’ she says and by the time I’ve locked the door and sat back down she’s made her way around the bar with the bag and a needle.

I don’t regret many things I’ve done over the years, I kind of regret not giving more to my own playing career but I’d been given the chance to right that wrong with the managers job at Boca. I’m Irish so I need to drink, I think it’s part of being from Ireland that you have to drink. Where was I? Oh yeah, regrets.

You seen that film The Business? It’s got Danny Dyer in it before he became a plastic hard guy wannabe and it’s pretty good. I’d seen it long before I got to Gibraltar. Anyway they make smuggling runs from the Costa del Sol, where coincidentally Ace had regular gigs lined up and travelled to and from places along there. I got to talking with the staff at the bar and found out about some of the real life smuggling runs. This is where it started.

I’d been told that a lot of things can be brought over from Morocco and Algeria, and at that time my main concern was painkillers. The stuff the docs in Gibraltar had given me barely scratched the surface of stopping the pain I was in, and they couldn’t get any of the prescribed stuff I was on back home for whatever reason, so I got pain relief from other sources.

The painkillers I started taking were described to me as tramadol but on steroids. It helped me out a lot and I won’t sugar coat it, I got hooked. I felt like Superman every day and it helped me get through each day pain free. My only concern was not getting any more when I needed it, but that never became an issue as Gibraltar and most of the Costa del Sol are gateways for people smuggling things into Europe from Africa.

By this point in the year we’d played a lot of football and for a promoted team with next to zero quality, we’d done alright. Starting off with no fear whatsoever, we put 4 past joint title favourites College Europa in a 4-0 win which was as good as it got for us early on really.

Despite getting battered in most games, we picked off Manchester 62 2-1 and even got a credible 1 all draw with the Celtic of Gibraltar and defending champions, Lincoln Red Imps which would be notable for me come the end of the season.

After 14 played we held a good enough place in the league, 7th on 13 points, 5 above the drop zone which all things considered was very good.

Up and down league form aside, due to being promoted we’d get a bye in the first rounds of the Rock Cup, Gibraltar’s FA cup, and were drawn against Europa Point in the quarter final.

I told the players that we’ve got a good chance of progressing in the cup and if we can get a couple of decent showings, then who knows we might make it all the way. I was kind of hoping to use the cup to help our league form. I also started having ideas on different ways of playing and trying to mix things up, but survival was the priority so nothing drastic was changed.

Our collective thinking of progressing in the cup worked wonders as Europa were dispatched 4-0 again in the same scoreline we beat them in the first game of the season. It was probably more them not wanting the extra games than our hard work to be fair, but another win was always going to help. Glacis were next up in the semi final and this would be a different game. Glacis beat us 2-0 in the league game before the semi, but much like last season in the division 2 cup against Angels, I told the players to extract revenge in the cup, which we just about did.

We took the lead early in the second half when a cross from our left hand side was fumbled by the Glacis goalkeeper and it bobbled over the line, just.  We then gave them the equaliser when Brad Power attempted to clear the ball but he spooned it with the outside of his foot and it flew in the net. 1 all with a couple of minutes to go. 

I wasn’t flustered or concerned as we’d been the better team, in my opinion anyway. We got a last minute winner when Leblanc stroked it home after we went all out attack. We didn’t deserve anything less than to win that game and book our place in the Rock Cup final!

Before then we had our final league game of the season and had found ourselves 1 place above the relegation play off places, and 1 point ahead of Manchester 62. All we had to do was match their result and we’d be safe.

We had Lincoln Red Imps in the final game, and they’d given up hope of winning the league anyway as College Europe had wrapped it by then anyway. We got the lead from a penalty and looked like we’d see the game out, but they scored a late equaliser to give us a 1 all draw and with it league survival.

A second successive cup final and survival in the Primera league, all in all a good season for us I’d say. The next hurdle would be winning the cup.

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted at On The Break here

Luck o' the Irish - The chairman's intent

I remember the day after the Cannons game, my phone rang, it was Andy, the clubs owner

‘Is it true then?’

‘Is what true?’

‘You won the fuckig league?’

‘Yeah we did, and what…..’ He cut me off, his usual trick.

‘For fuck sake. You weren’t even meant to stay in the division never mind win the f***ig thing!’

Confused, I told him ‘We’re not in it anymore, we’ve been promoted, I was expecting a bit more positivity from you to be fair’

‘Positivity? I’ve just got off the phone to those jumped up pen pushers down the leagues office, and because of your little stunt I’ve got to turn the club semi-professional now’

‘And that’s a bad thing because?’

‘Because now not only do I have to spend money on making things semi ba****ding professional around the club, I also have to pay you something as well now’

‘So, I…’ Cut off again

‘Now that we’ve been forced into turning semi pro all the existing players are probably going to want paying as well. Not to mention any new players you end up convincing to join’

I hadn’t thought about getting any wages to be fair, but if he was willing to pay me something, anything I’d have been happy.  But I’d have thought if we did well then as a club we’d make more money, not much due to being in little ol’ Gibraltar, but something is better than nothing. I couldn’t help remembering what Ace told me the first day I was at the club, that Andy was using it for laundering means. Not my place to do anything other than concentrate on the team however. As that call ended another took place

‘What in the name of Saint Mark have you done to rile up Monty so much lad?’ My old friend from back home said as I answered

‘Oh nothing much, just over achieved at every corner, won the league on the last day of the season and now we get to play in a higher division full of riches and fame this clubs never known of’ I exaggerated if you couldn’t tell

‘Well he’s all kinds of pissed off about it. I’m not sure why though, he’ll get to make some actual money at that club now. Anyways, looks like you’re staying there a while longer then?’

‘Yep, guess it does. Thanks for calling’

— — — — — — — —

So my first proper pre season and transfer window were set to begin and the mission objective is simple, stay in the Primera league next season. Nice and easy and nothing too technical, I was sure any and all players young and old would be able to get on board with that. I didn’t feel like asking Andy what the transfer budget or even new wage budget would be as I knew the answer I would get would vary from being an outright lie or as far from the truth as you could get. So I turned to Ace.

I didn’t know if he would cut corners, he never struck me as the type to do so, so when he asked what I was looking for, I took a pen and wrote in big bold letters – 1 OF EVERYTHING

‘Seriously, everything?’

I just nodded.

‘You do mean everything, as in every position, not things like PED’s or other questionable related items to enhance a players, erm, perception?

‘What?!? I don’t want any performance enhancers, what is wrong with you?’

‘Oh a lot to be fair. I just wondered what else you’d possibly want from me in terms of helping the team out’

Despite the initial lack of foresight from him, I outlined that despite not knowing much about the Primera league I was sure there’s bound to be better players there just by default, and that we’d not have the luxury of carrying any passengers, despite having not 1 but 2 full time coach drivers currently playing for us on their weekends off.

In Kevagn Robba, 10 in 16 we’ve got a decent finisher for the second division, but can he get even half of that in the top league? Alex Zamboglou, diligent, professional, hard working and all round nice guy is a good player to have around but will he be up to the task in a higher league? Other than Ellul at right wing being able to do more than 2 step overs before tripping up we’ve really not got much pace or creativity anywhere else on the pitch. In an ideal world, we’d bring in a couple of strong center halves and a decent finisher, in the hopes of sitting back and defending for our lives and grabbing some goals on the break.

It didn’t take Ace long before not 1, not 2 but 3 new faces came through the door in our bid for survival. 2 new center halves came in to replace the couple that left. 

Brad Power, great name by the way, and Lee Coombs were signed by the club, probably without Andy’s consent or knowledge and immediately would be starters for us.

We also snapped up attacking midfielder Alfonso Gonzalez who we’d be looking at to score some goals to hopefully keep us in the division.
 

On the eve of the first league game I was sat with Ace in 1 of the dugouts at the stadium. He’d got his phone out and had said the odds of us staying in the league are 95-1.

‘Never tell me the odds!’ I snapped back at him, hoping he’d not seen Star Wars, or at the least not clicked on to where I borrowed the line from. We’d be the favourites to finish bottom of the league just like we were last season, and we’d overachieved then so the hope was we’d overachieve again.

Hopefully.

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted with images at On The Break here

Luck o' the Irish - Confidential information

Attachment – Op_RT_2.wav & Op_RT_3_.wav and text copies with annotations attached

Notes:

Use of code words present

Surveillance ongoing

Op_RT_2.wav

Recorded call of a series of comms between people suspected in Operation Rolling Thunder.

2 unidentified males. First believed to be Andy Montegriffo of Gibraltar, second believed to be Armando Flores of Madrid, Spain. Call recording commenced after 17 seconds of dialogue. Call made and received in Malaga, Spain.

[Male no.1] Take no liberties on this one

[Male no.2] The boats ready to go any minute

[Male no.1] Are you sure they can make it from the port to Tangier?

[Male no.2] Easy. They’ve done it enough times

[Male no.1] It worries me only 3 of them with all that cargo

[Male no.2] During the night they could go backwards and wouldn’t be seen

[Male no.1] It won’t look good if this goes wrong

[Male no.2] We know, it will be fine

— — —

Op_RT_3.wav

Recorded call of a series of comms between people suspected in Operation Rolling Thunder.

Leonardo Cali AKA Ace, identified as making the call, hereby referred to as LC. Call made from a Gibraltar payphone on 14 June 2017 at 16:04 local time

Santiago Damon identified as receiving the call, hereby referred to as SD. Call received at another Gibraltar address.

Persons referred to as ‘big guy’ & ‘little guy’ as yet remain unidentified. The big room also unknown at this time. Seth’s team are looking into this

[LC] I told you’d I had a good feeling about the dogs

[SD] The tips at the track were good this week

[LC] Plenty of books to be viewed in the big room next week

[SD] Have you checked in on the veal?

[LC] Plenty. All [inaudible] and waiting. Just need the [background noise / inaudible] confirming

[SD] Such as

[LC] End game, number of players, you know, the usual

[SD] I’ll speak with the bug guy, you tell the little guy to be ready

[LC] It will be done

Call ended 16:06 local time

— — — — — — — —

That was the first and second set of phone calls that were recorded during an investigation into match fixing, steroid use and distribution as well as money laundering. It was played to me at the first day of cross examination during the trial, which wouldn’t be for another few years yet.

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted at On The Break here

Intriguing move to Moldova mate.

Epic mate thanks

Sweet mate thanks. Can I be a pain and ask for the one with black on to be done with all black with white trim at all?

This is a really good idea and a definite challenge. I'm tempted to do it to be fair

Please can I get kits for Benidorm

Home: Same as Ajax please, but instead of red can it blue

Kit Maker - Umbro please

Sponsor - Zara

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Away:  Same style as home (Ajax) but black instead of red.

Manufacturer & sponsor the same please.

Thank you

Interesting idea this. Definitely a lot of scope for you to manage a lot of unknown teams

Brilliant write up.

Luck o' the Irish - In our own hands
 

Cast your mind back to the beginning of my time on Gibraltar, the other Irish lad that greeted me on my first day, well that was Alex Zamboglou, and despite the surname he is definitely Irish. He was my on field confidant, my right hand man within the team so to speak, and he really helped out in my first season as a manager.

He pretty much confirmed everything I said in terms of tactics with the rest of the team, how and when to close down and backed me up on all decisions that I made. The players all listened to him as well, and I made a mental note to thank him in some way once the season was over with. And before I knew it, we had arrived at our last league game of the season. 1 game left to determine whether we’d be finishing the season as champions and getting promoted, or we’d have another game, a play off lottery to see if we’d go up or stay in the Segunda league.

On the eve of our final game of the season against Cannons we had a team meeting. Nothing informal or ‘official’, just me, the players and Ace having a get together at a local bar which Ace worked most weekends. We didn’t get too loud and rowdy and had a decent evening ahead of a big game. Alex himself did a pre game team talk in which he played up our chances of victory, I kept it chill and I said I’ll address the game tomorrow right before kick off. All in all I looked around the tables and saw a team hell bent on bettering the Phoenix result.

As all teams play in the same stadium in Gibraltar, we had to play our game against Cannons at 15:00, Phoenix would play College 75 at 19:00. I told the players in the dressing room before the game that it gives us the advantage, we could play our game, warm down, review the game and anything that comes up during it, get changed and be in the stands before the Phoenix players even get to the stadium and realise we’re there. The idea being we could put a little more pressure on them in their game. Of course we’d have to play our game first.

We started the game off slowly. Cannons had to get a win to have any chance of being promoted but they seemed content on sitting back and waiting for us to come on to them, probably hoping to counter attack. It was what you’d call a cagey match in all fairness, and barely anything of note happened in the first half.

At the break I told the players just to go back out and go for it, all out attack. There’s no point being conservative or cautious now, 45 minutes to get a win. We did push on right from the kick off, and managed to get a goal for our troubles, fortuitous it may have been.

I’d gone with Lara and Robba as the 2 forwards and both were getting into good positions, and it was Lara that seized the initiative. After getting a goal kick the Cannons keeper played it short to their left full back who came forward but had second thoughts so played it back to the center half, who also didn’t look confident going forward so tried to play it back to the goalkeeper but didn’t see or realise that Lara was on his blind side.

Lara burst forward as the ball was played back, it didn’t have enough pace to reach the keeper anyway so if Lara wasn’t there the keeper would have needed to move out, but didn’t once he saw Lara collect it on the edge of the box. Lara dropped a shoulder, shimmied to the left as the keeper finally advanced and placed it to the keepers right.
 

We expected a come back from Canonns which unbelievably didn’t come. We had the majority of the ball from the goal and had a number of chances to increase our lead. Their keeper and defence, that 1 mistake aside played reasonably well for the rest of the game, limiting our chances and managed to keep us at 1 goal to the good.

We got what we needed, a win which should put the pressure on Phoenix in their game. After the match I told the players as much, and that we’ve done all we can do. We got showered and changed, even managing to grab a bite to eat before we made our way to the main stand and sat right in the corner away from the dugouts but in plain view of anyone who looked our way.

As both sets of players walked out they didn’t notice us, or at least none of the players reacted liked they had done. College had been playing badly and were second bottom of the league at the start of the game and looked shaky for the opening few minutes, that soon changed however.

One their first drive forward they were given a penalty, which they converted and never looked back. We all celebrated as if we were fans of College and they’d just won the Champions League. I did tell the boys to make themselves heard.

The Phoenix players must’ve known we had been there as they absolutely fell apart. Unable to string a pass together or even get out of their half, they conceded another around the 18 minute mark and another just on the half hour, which effectively secured the league title for us along with more exaggerated celebrations from our players.

Half time came and went and Alex had said to the group ‘We’ve won it boyo’s, we’ve fucking won it’ before the game had resumed and Cannons added 2 more goals which gave them the win and us the league title, along with promotion to the Primera League

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted at On The Break here

Luck o' the Irish - The end is near

As my fist official transfer window opened in January, we made a grand total of zero signings. And why would we? We’re playing well, we just beat Hound Dogs, incredible team name absolutely diabolic football team, in the first round of the Rock Cup, Gibraltar’s actual FA Cup. We’ve won 7 of 12 games in all competitions and the only real weakness we have is letting teams score once we have. In all but 1 game we have scored first, our opener against Phoenix. We lost 1-0 to Leo but that was very much the exception, every game we’ve scored in so I’m not too concerned.

Once January was out of the way we endured back to back losses, once to Gibraltar Phoenix in the league, they’d done the double over us now, then Lynx FC beat us 3-1 in the Rock Cup. Another thing I wasn’t too concerned with. Lynx were third in the Primera Division at the time and really I wanted to make sure we gave as good as we could in the league, so could do without extra games in a cup we wouldn’t be winning that season anyway.

As there’s not many teams in the second division in Gibraltar, like a flash the season was just about over. Like one of those movie scenes where it starts off and then it sort of fades to black, then the writing comes up saying 10 years later or whatever, but in our case to read 8 months later. It was officially confirmed some time in February what we already knew, that we’d be up against Angels in the cup final

We also found ourselves with 1 game left to play in the league. It’s easy enough to say how we got in the position we did. Second in the league on 30 points, 1 point behind leaders Gibraltar Phoenix and 1 point above third place Cannons FC. We needed to better the Phoenix result to go up as champions, and if not we had to better the Cannons result to be guaranteed the play off place

2 games to go in my maiden season as a manager, and potentially 2 trophies to boot. I didn’t want to think much of it or that it was beginners luck getting to the position we’d found ourselves in. Ace however had other plans.

‘Right chief, I’ve got my DJ gear on the way from Beefer (He called Ibiza, Beefer, no I’m not sure why either) and a couple of my running buddy’s are coming to really set the party off’

‘What party?’

‘The Boca Juniors double party of course! League and cup wins in 1 season me old mucker’

‘Mate, we haven’t won either yet, we could still end up in the promotion play off and get beat in the final. I don’t want you doing anything…’ He cut me off before I could say the word stupid

‘Don’t be daft lad. Angels, who the f**k are they? Haven’t we beat them already this season?’

‘We? No we haven’t, they gave us out first loss of the year actually!’

‘Oh, well f**k ‘em, we’ll hammer then in this final. And the league, who we got next?’

‘Cannons’

‘Thumped them already didn’t we’

‘Not really, got away with a 1 nil win, hardly….’ He cut me off again

‘Still beat them though. Look, I’m confident we’re gonna win both games, then the party can really start, thanks to yours truly Ace DJ!’

He always said we like we’re a team or he had some hand in the games, but I didn’t mind. He was my first friend when I got to Gibraltar and really, he’s actually a pretty decent guy.

As for both my own and the clubs first ever cup final, Angels FC were our opponents and my team talk before kick off was pretty simple really. Calmly telling the players that the best way to avenge our first loss that season would be to win the upcoming cup final against them, and all of the boys seemed to respond positively.

We didn’t change anything up and went with our strongest and regular starting 11, no point changing a winning formula, and the decision paid off early on.

Kevagn Robba latched onto a through ball from Sansolini to give us an early lead after 5 minutes. The Angels players were up in arms protesting for an offside flag that never came.

The inevitable attack from them came and they did test Hermida in our goal a couple of times, both shots easily held onto. We came back at them with a couple of attempts of our own, but both shots would end up in the tame folder, neither really threatening to double our lead.

But heading into the final 5 minutes of the half we doubled our lead. Robba taking a touch on the edge of the area, played a 1-2 with his strike partner Dan Lane, turned past the defender and slotted the ball into the far corner on the pass back. 2-0 heading into the break and we didn’t look like we’d be losing

I didn’t say much to the players at the half time break. I didn’t need to. They all knew the position we were in and what we had to do to keep it. They went back out and let Angels have the ball for the most part. When we had won it back we threatened to increase the lead but didn’t actually do so until right at then end, when 

Robba turned provider to Lane to wrap the game, and the cup final up

We had been excellent value for the cup win. Never once did we look like we wouldn’t be lifting the trophy. All 264 fans that turned out to see us lift it were in great spirits. I’m not sure how many were actually Boca fans though, but we didn’t care. We’d won the less prestigious cup in Gibraltar, and now had the league to concentrate on.

— — — — — — — —

Cross posted at On The Break here

Luck o' the Irish - Away we go

Heading into my maiden game as a manager I was hell bent on playing a bog standard no frills, spills or thrills 4-4-2. Even the sorry state of a team I had inherited could play that. Simple long balls up top in the hopes one of the strikers could get a lucky break, and 2 banks of 4 that would hopefully keep things tight. Hopefully being the key word. Our opponents would be Gibraltar Phoenix FC. No, me neither.
 

As it’s our first game together I kind of wanted to be a bit cautious, so we went all out attack, also known as throwing caution to the wind. I convinced myself that in other games where we’re away or probably going to get spanked we’d tweak the approach. Nothing serious like we’ll just hoof it up top quicker than normal, oh no that’s some serious in depth tactical stuff. I’m talking changing the central midfielders from support to defend, or the full backs from just a defend mentality to all out defensive full backs. Alex Ferguson mixed with Pep Guardiola tactical stuff!

It was up to the players to learn the tactics set before them. Things might be hindered on my lack of knowledge of Spanish other than ‘Vamos motherfuckers vamos’ but they’re still players and I expect there to be some desire to win football matches, amateurs or not. My first ever starting 11 looked like this:

Hermida (GK). Zamboglou. Rodriguez. Capurro. Neal Robba. Ellul. Guerero. Sansolini. Ronco. Lara. Kevagn Robba.

You won’t want a match by match review of every game we have, but lets say our first game together wouldn’t be the one that defines me as a manager. We conceded early on to a dodgy penalty, the foul was outside the box I’m sure of it and I let the linesman in lieu of a fourth official know just how I felt, but we pulled it back level shortly after. Neal Robba was pulled, literally kicking and screaming from the reserves side and thrown into the first team on the morning of the game. As the penalty was given I shouted 'Are you fucking kidding me?! You, the shit Robba, get a fucking grip man!' I yelled toward the aforementioned left back, who mouthed something back in Spanish 'And ya can cut that foreign speak out an all' was my angry reply.

Before the game restarted, I pulled right winger Ellul aside and gave him some instructions 'Come on now, ya can’t miss the little fast fella, swing the ball his way, let him do the rest' and as the game restarted, Ellul took the words of advice on board, called for and received the ball on the right wing and went on his darting run forward.

Just as I had asked, Ellul swung the ball from deep and it found it's way into the path of the onrushing Kevagn Robba (the slightly better Robba) and as I visualised it, as he had done in training a couple of times, he guided the ball home to level the score to 1 apiece. It wasn't the best looking goal, but Robba was in the right place as the ball bobbled in front of the Phoenix keeper and with as deft a touch as there could be levelled things up.

We conceded 3 more goals in the game to lose 4-1 in my opening match as a manager. But we weren’t to be deterred, as we won 3 and drew 1 of the next 4 games, all in the league to show that the squad, as barebones and as shit as you can get do have something about them.
 

Next up would be the aptly titled Division 2 cup, which for simplistic terms is a cup for teams in the second division. I get the feeling it’s like Gibraltars way of saying you’re pretty crap, you’ll not win the actual cup so here’s a little watered down version to play with. But we don’t care, we being me and probably only me until we get to the final, we’re taking it seriously.

College 1975 were up first, and we scored 2 early goals but conceded 2 second half goals to take us to extra time. Remember when I said about the whole tactical stuff, well I risked it for the figurative biscuit by shifting a full back into a striker in extra time and it paid off, as we scored 2 in time added on to record a 4-2 win

Leo FC would be our quarter final opponents, and the good Robba scored after 27 seconds to set us up for a 3-0 win. No sweat, bones or hearts broken so far.
 

FC Olympique at least held on until the 21st minute before letting us in, and we scored 2 more in the first half and sat back, played chess and did crosswords in the second half as they failed to even get a shot on target in the full game. 3-0 in the semi final
 

I let the boys know it was a great achievement getting to a final of any cup, I got a couple of grunts and half arsed smiles and nods back from them.

Fickle bunch, footballers.

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Cross posted at On The Break with in game images here

I'm sure you'll ace it. Once you've sorted the tactics and starters out and got rid of the bad players, the title race will be on!

Luck o' the Irish - Carry on wayward son, the journey's just begun

Ace had made the arrangements to the various people at the teams training area at the Victoria Stadium upon his and my arrival that morning. Not that Boca Juniors had much of a workforce save for the players, 1 assistant manager and a coach, but felt I had to do a meet and greet at my first ever job as a football manager.

‘The team are all on the training field just over there pal’ Ace motioned toward a huddled circle of people 40 or so yards away. ‘Best go introduce yourself eh’

I walked the short distance over to the group and held up my hand and said ‘Afternoon all, how are we?’ Silence. Not the start I had in mind

‘Me. Scott. Your. New. Boss. Watch’ I then said in that dumbed down way English speakers tend to speak to non-speakers of the language, and as I did I picked up a ball, placed it down and hit with my left and they all watched as it sailed high and wide, clipped the inside of the post of the nearest goal and went in. Boom. Pick that one out

‘See. Me. Good. Turn. You. Into. Good. Team’. Silence, again. Obviously.

Ace was laughing overly harder than I thought he should’ve been, and then a few of the players started laughing along when 1 of them walked forward towards Ace and I heard him say ‘This the guy then?’

‘Yep, sure is. Look I’ve gotta dash, places to go people to see you know how it is, catch ya later Scott’ and with that he left. The new man held out his hand to me and said ‘I’m Alex, I’m Irish like you. I don’t wanna know how you ended up here, I keep asking myself that same question yet here we are’

‘Scott, nice to meet ya. What’s the team like then?’

‘Shite for the most part’ How quick he is to judge his team mates, I wonder if I’ll be afforded the same luxury. ‘They’re only a young club and this is my second season here, you’ve heard the term farmers league? Well see him over there, the big tank, he’s actually a farmer in Malaga, comes here on his days off to train and play’

‘Right, like San Marino then?’

‘Wouldn’t say that we’re as bad as that, but yeah all the clubs in the second division are amateurs, there’s a couple of pro clubs in the top division but even then it’s nothing exciting, nothing like the big teams back home like Cork and Saint Pats’

‘Oh I’m a Bray fan myself’

‘Shame, could’ve had some banter with you, I follow Cork obviously’

The rest of the day was spent with me meeting the players individually, discussing their strengths and weaknesses and giving out aims for the upcoming season. 

The main thing was not to get relegated from the second division with the odds being we’d be finishing bottom, any higher would be a bonus.

After speaking to the players next up was meeting my staff, all 2 of them. Assistant manager Allen Bula and coach Julio Sanchez. After assessing them in my mind, I’d figured I’d see how tactically savvy they are, and based on ratings of 1-20 they’ve got a tactics coaching rating of 7. That’s a COMBINED tactics coaching rating of 7. Add to that Andy had told Ace who told me there was no money to spend, on staff or players, not that I knew many players or staff available in Gibraltar anyway, and I would have to spend the first part of my career tolerating the skills, or lack of, from the clubs existing backroom staff.

The difference between their skills and that of a dead ferret was that a dead ferret wasn’t employed at Boca at the same time that I was. I looked at them in a pitiful sort of way. I don’t know who felt more fucked, them for having me as the boss, or me for having that sorry lot to rely on.

Despite our total lack of coaching skill we had our first training session together. Things got off to a good start and I left everything to the squad and we had an okay-ish session, there were a couple of decent looking players, talent wise I mean, not good looking in an attractive sense. Nothing really stood out save for a couple of goals, but they all seemed to gel together well.

As for team talks and motivational speeches, footballers, even part timers that have other full time paying jobs, can smell fear, or at the very least indecisiveness. The vice captain from the previous season, goalkeeper Philip Hermida had asked me ‘On behalf of the squad, tell us about yourself. We all know each other well enough but we don’t know you’

'Well I'm glad you've asked. I've got a background in football in the great nation of Ireland, Dundalk wanted me you know (a few blank expressions at the name, lie or no), anyway I've come here, with my experience and ideas to get this club going places’

I took a moment and carried on speaking 'I reckon, looking at the league table, we may not finish bottom of the league, but I’m sure we can finish mid table’

I could sense Hermida tried to hide the laughter coming out of his mouth. 'You do realise that this club is probably the worst in the division if not this country?’

‘Yet you’re it’s goalkeeper aren’t you? Meaning you’re also the worst? That ought to shut him up

‘I’m only a part time player, this isn’t my main job….’ I quickly cut him off

‘So? You’re here as a player and will be treated like one, and as such I will expect you to act like one. As you know this league is amateur night every night, none of you aren’t replaceable’

With that I allowed the players to warm down and carry on the rest of their day without another word being said. Ace had quickly reappeared and did speak to me on his way out however ‘I like that you didn’t back down there. Footballers are a fickle bunch’

‘Got to get my authority across early on I guess’

‘That you do pal. You ready for your first game in a couple of days?’

‘Can’t wait’

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Cross posted at On The Break here

Thanks mate. Yep got quite a lot of countries loaded, aim being to go wherever I can

Lets hope going to Township pays off.