NUFC starting 11: Krul - Janmaat, Coloccini, Williamson, Dummett - Sissoko, Anita, Colback, Jonas - Cisse, Riviere
Subs: Woodman, Ryan Taylor, Gouffran, Ameobi, Cabella, de Jong, Perez

Reads less like a teamsheet, more like a suicide note. Least MUFC are playing Mata and Rooney.

#265566 Newcastle Thread

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22 May 2015 22:30:58

By Splash The Cash On Matt Le Tiss | On 22 May 2015 - 17:18 PM

With Paul Clement set to be made Derby County manager, Steve McClaren might have to take the Newcastle job.

I'd rather we intercept Clement and made him our manager. Can't be any worse than Schteve. Although both would be better than Carver... although admittedly so would the bloke in the Monty Magpie costume.

#265073 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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19 May 2015 10:57:14

By Based Jorge | On 18 May 2015 - 23:14 PM

He will be a World Class player, and he'll easily find his potential away from a crackpot manager.

07/08 was the best team we had for a long time. Big things could've been achieved if it wasn't for a ridiculous captain in Gallas, an error prone LB in Clichy & Martin Tyler fatality'ing Eduardo's leg just as soon as he hit goalscoring form didn't really help. The problem is with the challenges Liverpool have made especially is that it has always hinged on one or two players. Take them out and you're left with a realistic 7th place finish and no ability to be able to challenge for the title until another class player comes along.

Would've been quite an achievement for that to happen from the commentary box.

Anyway, Sterling is coming across as being a bit of a whiny tit, and has been out of sorts since Liverpool's winning run was ended by Man U, but he's still one of their better players and Liverpool would be worse off if he was to leave. Obviously he's 20 and needs time to improve, but he's still a more useful presence than Lallana and Lambert are proving to be for them.

#265064 2015/2016 Kit Thread

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19 May 2015 09:52:46

Dunno how to do images, but new NUFC home kit: http://www.kitbag.com/stores/kitbag/en/products/kitselector/newcastle-united-home-kit-2015-16/newcastle-united-home-shirt-2015-16-black/159915

Always fail to like the new home kit when it comes out, so this is naturally no exception. But fuck me this looks cheaply designed/made.

#264950 Newcastle Thread

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18 May 2015 12:40:51

If the worst was to happen on Sunday, how long do we think it'd be down there?

Maybe I was so pessimistic in 2009 that I was surprised it took us just one year to bounce back, but I really fear we'd be closer to what Cardiff and Fulham have just done down there. Especially the latter given they had to do a major refurb.

#264835 The Lower League Thread

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17 May 2015 12:16:15

One more double

#264834 The Lower League Thread

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17 May 2015 12:16:15

By gfnx25 | On 17 May 2015 - 01:10 AM

Aaron McCarey too.

Next up will be Leon Clarke #BookieBashing

To be fair, offering odds on which player will next fail a drugs test is the kind of thing that Paddy Power might do.

#264833 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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17 May 2015 12:03:52

By Shola | On 17 May 2015 - 10:40 AM

And people would still pick that team. Ant & Dec picked their team and it was the same bar Jonas for Aarons.

But Carver seems totally swayed by public perception - He's gotten rid of Williamson, Ameobi, Gouffran, Anita and Obertan, and picks the star players no matter what. The only place he differs is that he hates Abeid and trusts Ryan Taylor. Also the team completely fell apart when Ryan Taylor went off. Also very impressive that everyone manages to blame Ryan Taylor for the goals, definitely not Janmaat & Krul's faults.

Looking forward to the summer if we stay up, Newcastle will have (probably) gotten rid of Elliot, Harper, Williamson, Perch, Simpson, Taylor, Jonas, Ameobi, Routledge, Guthrie, Obertan, Ameobi & Best all in the name of progress. For about the third of the cost of Remy Cabella.

I thought our teamsheet yesterday looked crap. I know its a bugbear but Ryan Taylor is not a central midfielder. I don't really get why he's been played there. If you swapped him and Jonas, its still not ideal, but at least they're playing somewhere relevant to their positional ability.

I'm not excusing Krul - he's looked appalling for most of the campaign and his kick-outs give away so many chances/goals. Janmaat too has defended poorly frequently of late. Anita, Gouffran and Williamson appear in too many thrashings, although I've always thought VA was not used properly, which was a sensation accentuated by his recent comments.

Much as I am happy to slag off certain players (and certain ones deserve it), collectively, the team is filled with shit. Frankly, a nuclear option is preferable. But it's probably too radical to get rid of everyone at once. Least in the mind of the twat in charge, it probably is. Either that or he'd just rebuild like Blackpool and we beat Derby's record. Or Blackpool's, tier depending ofc.

By Shedender | On 17 May 2015 - 07:58 AM

And yet he'll still probably be given the managerial role on a permanent basis!

If we get relegated there's talk he'll be given trust of getting us back up. Which can only mean we'll be stuffed by MK Dons, Bristol City, Brighton et all.

#264777 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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16 May 2015 22:10:30

By Shola | On 16 May 2015 - 16:11 PM

Hilarious how John Carver actually put out the team the fans want. (With the exception of Ryan Taylor).

Oh come on - Sissoko has looked like he can't be arsed since Christmas, Riviere is inept (his goal was even a fluke), Cabella has not looked convincing (I've given up on him and I'm guessing others have), Perez is still being overworked, Janmaat has looked crap of late, Krul can't kick the ball out, Coloccini is wank... frankly, the whole stinking composition has not looked like a Premier League capable team since February. As we also noted, in what universe is Ryan Taylor capable of being a central midfielder? His cowardice was there to see in both goals.

John Carver should not be allowed to work at the club for the rest of time. 1 point from 30 is beyond embarrassing, and he is just a fucking shambles. Bollocks to that stupid cunt.

#264770 The Lower League Thread

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16 May 2015 21:09:59

Jose Baxter suspended by Sheffield United for failing a drug's test.

Blimey - who's next?

#264741 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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16 May 2015 16:38:35

Jesus fucking wept.

#264707 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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16 May 2015 12:28:49

By Slashman X | On 16 May 2015 - 12:01 PM

Quickest hat trick ever?

Quickest in the Prem era at least.

Fuck me Villa sound dire.

#264654 2015/2016 Kit Thread

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15 May 2015 19:54:51

The Southampton one just reminds me of a Stoke kit from a few years back when they were with adidas.

#264596 2015/2016 Kit Thread

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15 May 2015 09:59:33

Is that the one in this article with press shots?: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-3082320/Harry-Kane-transfer-target-Manchester-United-Louis-van-Gaal-lines-45m-swoop-Tottenham-striker.html

I do agree it looks odd.

#264442 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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13 May 2015 21:28:54

By King Luis | On 13 May 2015 - 16:14 PM

I've been a few time and its always been fine for me

I've always found the queues a bit irritating there. Not as bad as other places, but not entirely brilliant. Maybe its the fact whenever I go there there never seems to be a train going back west into the centre. Getting away from Brixton venues is one I've often found fairly simple... well apart from when I got my phone stolen after a Franz Ferdinand gig there 2 years ago. Still, its not Oxford Circus.

By Based Jorge | On 13 May 2015 - 16:26 PM

Saw Arctic Monkeys at Earl's Court and it was a piece of piss to get home. That being said we had to wait for about an hour cause we lost our mate and his phone ran out of battery

I went to one of those gigs and yeah, that wasn't bad. Even if the chavs starting a fight because someone was singing the Toure's song was a bit annoying and caused a longer wait.

#264235 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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12 May 2015 17:34:22

Seeing any big event in London is a ballache when you go on the Underground afterwards - I went to big gigs at the Emirates (Muse) and Finsbury Park (Arctic Monkeys) in 2013/14, and on both occasions, getting a tube out of there was a pain in the arse, while North Greenwich station after anything at the O2 is pretty hideous, and I also found the stations nearest to Fulham and West Ham to be painful.

By contrast going to the Emirates last December wasn't actually as bad as I was expecting.

#263894 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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10 May 2015 14:31:03

Hopefully QPR will be this shit next weekend when we turn up. Even then we'd probably still fuck up.

#263750 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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09 May 2015 15:55:16

Well... a win at QPR next week and defeat for Hull at Spurs, and we're safe. But that does require us to win... bit optimistic.

#263736 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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09 May 2015 14:36:18

Fuck me 2015 has been a disaster.

#263735 Barclays Premier League 2014/15

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09 May 2015 14:36:18

Fuck me 2015 has been a disaster.

#263599 The Night Thread Mk. IX

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08 May 2015 15:17:18

I was counting a ballot last night. I am fucking exhausted of it and am only really making incoherent thoughts when I try and work out what I make of the results.

In and amidst tired flashes, the only line of thought is one that's not impressed. Can imagine the next 5 years not going well.