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#239505 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
It's compulsory, I'll try to enjoy the experience at least.
#239289 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
I'm still only a private under the course, though when I pass out I should be able to book guys like colonels if need be, which is a useful power to have.
#237901 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
EDIT: Using the lighter, that's effectively cheating ffs
#237857 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
Anyone know how to polish boots properly?
#237855 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Austin Robinson was (again) hopeless, and was subsequently dropped.
It's becoming the situation of seasons past where our attack was starved of inspiration, expect now Robinson's part of the problem.
Spectacular fuckup here, though not holding leads have been part and parcel of our game anyway.
The team set up to start more lively, to great effect.
Irandy Liburd was the star here with 2 assists, and is one of the talented (but infuriatingly inconsistent) attackers we have in our ranks.
With the win over St. Paul's we've leapfrogged them to 1st again, but the positions seem almost pointless given the number of games in hand everyone else has over us.
The cup draw gets tougher - Village Superstars might only have been promoted 2 seasons ago, but they stormed to a post-season Playoffs title in the top flight.
They were always big-timers around these parts anyway, so this'll be as tough as it gets (provided we beat Newtown first anyway).
#237280 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Not too bad a performance, though we need to be more clinical with our chances.
A horrific defensive collapse in the first half, and while we continued prodding (and eventually got our equaliser) we couldn't find a winner.
Positives were on show, but as a whole it was a slight disappointment.
A bit of a scare here, but we managed to get through with a victory.
Defending was subpar, attack didn't manage to make up for the shortfall, but at least this could serve as a rude awakening.
Hopefully we can prove to be more efficient.
Worse still leftback Jamal Lawrence tore his hamstring an would be out for 5 months.
It was a very bitter end to the month, but we're now top dog, albeit at the cost of 2 games played more.
The cup's 2nd round (the furthest we've been incidentally):
See, an efficient win.
And here's our reward:
Urgh, the best team in town, and we were trashed by them in preseason.
I'm not really looking forward to this, put it that way.
#237186 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
First off, my assistant manager:
Started off at Bradford, went to Nottingham Forest before journeying through the English non-league (including 9 years at Worksop), after which he decided to return to his Kittian roots with Village Superstars for a season.
For once, a centreback who can actually think.
The hope is that this'll bring some much-needed reliability to the backline. Or opposition strikers ruthlessly expose his utter lack of any physical ability
and tear our defence to shreds, again.
There's also a fitness expertise that he brings to the team, one that we've never really had.
And he's not completely hopeless at rating players too, so all in all this can only be a good deal.
Liburd wasn't available, but it shouldn't be an excuse for our performance here - taking the lead before losing in the end has been seen all too often.
Robinson was again poor, there's a genuine fear that this'll turn into a drought for him.
Some major reshuffling for the next game 3 days later, and we seem to now have a new hero in Lisimba Gumbs.
A debut clean sheet for Liburd as well, a good start.
Again there was some reshuffling after the cup game (more on that later), and Gumbs further staked his claim as the starting forward with a hattrick.
5 goals in 2 games, he's certainly making me think.
Well the mentor Robinson wasn't going down on a whimper, scoring an early goal to help settle the nerves, as we secured another 3-goal win and clean sheet - without Terrance Leader too, who was away for international duty.
This is probably the best I've felt about this team - a defence that seems to be able to handle stuff, 2 strikers with a point to prove, and a decent run of form.
The only negative is our finances, which look really, really bad - shouldn't have asked for the upgrade to the training facilities, which seems to have accomplished very little.
#236935 Barclays Premier League 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
#236912 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
I really don't handle expectations well, much preferred the time when my team was just required to not embarrass themselves.
But there is this positive to savour, been our best man by far, could become a legend if - if - he maintains his forms and stays around.
Transfers now, not been a good one so far:
One positive is Samuel leaving, though it is the only one - quite a few of our (functioning) defence has been removed by other clubs.
One person that I hoped would leave though, was:
He did win the FPoTY when I first came in, but he's never won me over.
Just wanted him to leave so the staff won't need to consider him in our plans.
My only signing (so far):
Replaces Isaac as our destroyer, half-decent with setpieces as well, so he's in.
What of our preseason?
Our opening 4 were against (rather bizarrely) Antiguan sides, and we finished off with 4 local teams.
Not a pretty sight at all, there wasn't a game where we managed to impress as a whole, heck in a couple matches none of the team could even leave with a bit of credit. Terence Leader had a particularly horrific day against Newtown, making a couple of big errors and finishing with a 4.6.
Robinson has been dire in front of goal as well, no goals in 7 appearances, I can only hope that he shrugs that monkey off his back come the season proper.
It's come to a point where one should no longer trust these - case in point, Newton Ground have only just bounced back up after relegation the season before.
Likewise, we need to stop being regarded as favourites for the title.
The board hasn't exactly bought into my theory, but at least they aren't demanding me to win the title outright.
I fear that they won't be as forgiving if there is a repeat of last season's start.
There's also the Cup draw:
Bloody Saint Paul's United again, last season we were soundly beaten, and going by our preseason form I would expect an improvement.
Finally:
Bit of a risk given that it's the eve of our competitive opener, but his hilarious inability to judge players' abilities properly was hindering my squad management, so he simply had to go.
I've got a replacement lined up yes, but that's for another time...
#236565 Newcastle Thread
Eric Portapotty
He's black and French.
#236560 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Another solid defensive performance to ensure that for once, 1 goal is enough.
Need Robinson to score though, been quite wasteful with his finishing in the past couple matches.
Well he didn't, and our defence couldn't hold out, so it's disappointment again.
6 points was enough for promotion last season, not this time unfortunately.
--------------------
Players of the season:
We were (somehow) top scorers this season, and most of the credit has to go to Robinson - he saved our season, he saved my job and dragged us to a playoff spot.
My only gripe is him choking in the playoffs itself, but complaing about that would be overlooking his earlier exploits.
Still quite not the playmaker that I hope for him to develop to, but he managed to contribute sufficiently to the attack, so baby steps and all that.
And they were duly recognised for their efforts, coming in 1st and 3rd in the PoTY ranking.
We actually won big at awards night, here are 2 other winners:
All Damion Moses-Garvey really did was have a great run of form in the middle of the season before he was injured for most of its remainder - not exactly an unforgettable campaign.
Kishorn Percival was part of a wretched defensive pairing with bloody Keithroy Samuel, but recovered to keep his place and improved.
Lastly Lawrence didn't win anything, but he went some way to displacing Atiba Gumbs and making the left-wing spot his.
Chipped in with a couple of goals and assists when he wasn't out with injury, a good prospect.
------------------------
I'm not surprised that they're disappointed, we should've had the title had we not started with that shocking form.
Next season will require a consistently fit Austin Robinson to progress, the way he's been carrying us through games says it all really.
#236487 Addickted To Winning (A Charlton story) IIIIIIIIIII
Eric Portapotty
#236256 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Before we even kicked a ball this month:
Weird given how the teams below us still have a number of games in hand, but I'll take it.
Robinson wasn't involved too much, and players who did shoot weren't potent, put it that way.
A disappointing result at the end of the day.
Rested Robinson and started a couple of the youth intake, Lisimba Gumbs managing a debut strike in a surprisingly comfortable win.
So despite all the crises that has happened all season we've managed to finish a place higher than last season, albeit falling short of our title expectations, not bad eh?
Anyway, playoffs now: single round-robin, 3 games over 7 days.
Patriots would have an opportunity to avenge their defeat on playoffs Day 1:
Well they didn't manage it, while we secure a priceless win.
Very, very early days here, so much so that showing the table is essentially meaningless.
The FA Cup came to a conclusion as well:
Well it was one to forget, but whatever.
Finally:
At long last, a sign of faith from the board, and I get to not be fired.
Percival's quite the sycophant too, isn't it?
#236118 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
Robinson had a forward's performance to forget, missing his shots left right and centre. Worse still, he was then forced off with injury, his replacement being out-of-form Patrece Byron.
Well cometh the hour, cometh the man - a late equaliser and, oh what a precious one it was.
We coped surprisingly well without Robinson (who suffered a knock and was out a couple of days), hopefully this shows that the team can be at least competent without him.
Next up was a 3rd match in 6 days, against table-topping Bath United - I'd rested the lads from training for a good few days but for some it didn't seem sufficient.
Still, we soldiered on, at least with a now-fit Robinson.
A great performance, with Robinson back on the scoresheet and Zevon assisting the goal in addition to his own strike.
Credit where it's due to the whole team as well, we'd normally capitulate at the death due to our poor fitness but they managed to hold on this time.
Nice statistic too, the momentum will be needed to push us on.
So we've done our part and got a hand on a playoff spot, now it's time for the other teams to show their hands.
In other news, it's intake day again:
This is Jeffers' fave:
A right footed left midfielder... I'll need time to figure out what he can actually offer.
At least he's got the physical boxes ticked, but it's still hard to decide where he can actually play.
This is (at least according to the staff) the real prospect:
Classic targetman attributes,but he'll have some huge shoes to fill if he ever wants to replace Robinson.
And this is the best 'current' player:
Looks really rubbish I'm afraid, will likely be a liability at the back.
He might train up his defensive skills, but looking at my other CBs it's not likely to happen.
All in all it's still an underwhelming intake, most of the guys will be used as part of squad rotation, but no instant starters from this bunch unfortunately.
#236100 The Italian Football Thread
Eric Portapotty
#236079 The Italian Football Thread
Eric Portapotty
#236012 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
I hope so too, but without Robinson we're a shell of a team really.
---------------------
2 goals and an assist (which should have been credited to him for his hattrick) after going 2 down, Austin Robinson is literally the only thing that gets us going at this point.
And so it proved, another offday for him and we lose.
Great way to bounce back, Robinson got his treble this time and was promptly subbed off, fitness issues becoming more of a problem now.
A rarity, winning without Robinson scoring - but it was supersub Zevon Lawrence who answered the call here, coming back from an injury to complete our comeback.
I'm at an absolute loss for words as to how we lost this.
Took Robinson off once we went 2 up, definitely thought we could've held on but boy was I wrong.
2nd best recent form gets us back into the playoff spots, but with a run of 3 games in 6 days next month fitness levels will be gong to shit.
Fingers crossed we just grab quick leads then defend for the rest of the matches.
#235994 The Ganja Trail - A Caribbbean Adventure
Eric Portapotty
2 games in 3 days after 3 weeks of complete inactivity - oh the joys of Caribbean football scheduling.
Austin Robinson had an offday, and the team simply doesn't tick without him.
Didn't help that we were 1 goal down for basically the whole match.
Keithroy Samuel (this guy here) is quite literally the worst defender that I've ever played.
Which is hilarious since he's regarded as one of four best players.
Out of the playoff spots, back into the shitter.
#235754 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
The 4 months were awesome mind, will miss me mates.
#234044 Transfer Rumours 2014/15
Eric Portapotty
#234030 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
22 shots and no goals, Negredo showing the profligate side of his game here, some awful attempts at scoring on show.
Gave him a proper scolding, so he reacts by getting himself injured.
This meant that I now have no (proper) strikers (Heskey's effectively a flop by this point) so I played a 4-6-0 for the next game:
Didn't work, and we were thoroughly embarrassed -not much else to say really.
Way to kick a man when he's down, Mario.
Not a good way to start the month to say the least, and no doubt the board took notice:
Yeah, basically 4 wins from the next 5 games.
Who will we face next? Barca.
HA! Piss off, haters, we've nicked a point of Barcelona!
We did get a very dodgy penalty, but I'll take it any day.
Oh.
Negredo was hopeless up front, well our attack was poor as a whole, and our defence... It doesn't really mattter now does it?
Oh right, and:
A deserved sacking really, a comical inability to improve the squad properly (HESKEY) and a sheer lack of goals would not do justice to a club of Valencia's standing.
26 goals in 22 leagues speaks for itself really, hopeless.
----------------------------
Oh well, I had plans for this career here, but it blew up in my face even before things could get going.
Back to trying not to get sacked in Saint Kitts and Nevis then/.
#233656 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
We started off the month with the Cope del Rey 4th Round, where there were 2 legs:
A shocking 1st half display, as we were comprehensively outplayed again.
A tweak to a less expressive system paid dividends as we did well to come back with 3 away goals.
Maybe a more solid style of play was what we should have been doing - the team fnanlly getting into its groove with a great win over Bilbao.
Way to bring us back down to earth, guys.
On hindsight I should never have played my 2nd-choice fullbacks, Al Arabi had a blast toying with our LB on that right-side channel.
At least we ended 2014 with another win, Negredo finally exploding to life.
Managed a couple of beauties in said match as well, well done.
Incredibly we now find ourselves in the European spots, Not too bad considering we were in the bottom half of the table only a few matchdays ago.
... Except that wasn't the end of it, I then organised a couple of friendlies:
Suffice it to say we were horrible.
Now for off-the-pitch matters:
Extremely surprising, considering he was pencilled in for the B Team at the start of the season and was only included here after I'd realised that he was our 2nd best RB.
Big money, very big, but it might just be worth it.
Obiang's meant to be Javi Fuego's long-term successor, and with age on his side he might even go for a big profit.
It also spells the end for Gabriel here, he was a budget option with budget performances, and with a foreign slot on his back he probably had to be culled.
#233455 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
Ahahahaha, 'if' mate, 'if'...
---------------------------
A cracker of a match, wasn't nice to sit through, but no matter as we win anyway.
Also, our 187cm leftback Lucas Orban was outjumped by Gerard Deulofeu for his 2 goals - baffling.
Oh look, back to square one with another turgid draw.
Fucking hell, this has got to be a nadir, because if it gets any worse I'm going to be sacked.
Being completely outfought at home too - there are problems that need solving, fast.
Well whaddaya know - one of our best performances this season, with both attack and defence working well.
But even in this good result we must still have problems - Gabriel with his 2nd dismissal of the season, and since this one was a violent hack, leads him to a 3 match ban. I've half a mind to cut short his loan in January if I can find a replacement.
I'm amazed that I haven't been sacked yet, but if we can use the Malaga match as a springboard that then the only way is up for here on in.
Again, 'if'.
#233394 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
Getting real sick of these goalless draws, in this sort of situations we've got the defence right on cue, but the attack completely missing.
Well here's an alternative.
And yes, that's 37-year old ex-Chelsea 'prospect' Jiri Jarosik fucking scoring the equaliser.
My head would've rolled if we lost this - Levante might be shit but this is a Valencian derby nonetheless.
Well we won, but our attack was so toothless you'd be better off trying to argue whether Heskey (who -fun fact - made his debut in this game) was worse than Negredo.
(The question's harder than you think, judging by the latter's performances so far.)
All 3 goals conceded were setpieces, not ideal.
And we actually turned up for this, and Negredo even had a goal chalked off for offside - if only we did this to lesser sides as well.
Oh and Zuculini is a moron.
5 points from an EL spot, we need to start scoring pronto.
Alternatively, we can try to win the Copa del Rey.
Not that I think we can, in fact we'll probably lose the Granada here.
At least we start November with some good news:
That's around 40 million pounds apparently, so all I need to do is to hang on to the job till January to use the cash.
#233379 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
Awful finishing from both sides, we and Villareal had 9 and 14 shots respectively, but only got 2 and 4 of them on target.
Even worse here, 1 of 14 for us.
Fortunately we made this one count.
Diego Alves won the MoM award for both matches, shows you how much he's had to do when we're unable to relieve the pressure.
Okay, Pros:
-Negredo finally scored his 1st goal for Valencia, been a long time coming;
-Piatti also made his 1st appearance off the bench since returning from injury, and also broke his seasonal duck;
-and the 1st time we scored 3 in a match this season.
Cons:
Conceding 3, thrice losing leads, and the 2nd worst defensive performance so far.
All in all, not good.
Well it got worse.
Rodrigo in particular was terrible, he got himself into a number of promising positions but some truly diabolical finishing meant that it all came to nought.
Too many draws not converted to wins, mainly due to our ineffective finishing.
I should also add that Sakai didn't play a minute of this month due to being away for the Asian games, and he's just come back with strained knee ligaments which looks set to keep him out till December - last thing we needed really.
#233253 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
A relatively surprising opening day win against Atleti, less so was both defences being better than their forwards judging by the scoreline.
Quite the opposite here, setpiece defending practice not put to use.
Negredo hasn't been performing in either match too, might need to work on his role.
I gave Barca far, far too much respect here - setting up to play on the counter while sitting deep, we never managed to relieve the pressure and they just kept coming.
Probably should've gone toe-to-toe from the start, at least to make their lives harder.
4 points from 2 of last season's top 3 and Sociedad could be argued as decent, though if we're going to finish in a European spot then we'll have to aim higher.
I've also made some signings:
Ins:
Well who else, but the legend that is Emile Heskey! His first stop at Spain at 36, he's backup to Negredo in the burly targetman role uptop.
Pareiko is a very inexpensive 3rd choice GK, even more so on loan.
Hoffmann is primarily a destroyer, and is able to use those skills across the defence or in midfield.
Of the Outs, the only significant one was Guardado. I"m still in two minds on whether I should have sold him, because in truth he's a very good attacker.
The case against him is that the same can't really be said for his defending.
Still he was 1st choice, but will now have his role occupied by Lucas Orban.
This then, is our final squad (for the next 5 or so months anyway):
I'm still not really impressed by this set, don't think I've fully strengthened in the transfer window.
#233172 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
Been a busy transfer window, this:
Most of the deals were already set in stone before I arrived, but I did make 3 signings:
Sakai was my big-name arrival this summer, a very exciting wingback from Stuttgart.
He's from Japan too, which meant that:
BINGO, I'm glad the board was with me on this.
I'm pretty sure Gabriel wasn't my best option as well, but all things considering (and having already thrown a lot of cash around) he should prove to be a workable budget option.
No fuss on the next one, ex-Arsenal keeper Manuel Almunia will be around as a backup to Diego Alves.
Of the Outs... Pereira was 1st out upon the signing of Sakai, sad to see him go but with a year left on his deal sentimentality was more of a stumbling block here.
Liverpool Legend Antonio Barragan was out shortly after, he was worse than Pereira and I got him out on loan only because no one wanted to get him permanently.
Domenech was a horrid 3rd choice GK, while de Paul - while being decent enough - was taking up a foreign slot and was shipped out in next to no time.
So this'll be the bulk of our squad (bar Spurs favourite Helder Postiga and Jonas) that'll be playing this season:
3 names almost instantly stand out:
The star of the team, he returns to Spain after a year in England where he ended up as 4th choice.
It's hard to see that happening here, he's an instant starter here and it's good to know we've got him locked down for the next couple of seasons.
Always a wanted man by Europe's top clubs, that he has moved to Valencia is a massive boost.
Will be paired with Shkrodan Mustafi, who must be infuriating David Moyes right now having seen his rise to prominence.
One of the best stoppers in Spain for a number of years now, having outlasted Guaita he'll have the No.1 jersey for keeps for the foreseeable future.
Onto preseason:
We beat sides we should be beating, conceded late against Alcoyano, and were comprehensively outplayed by Fiorentina - not a good sign.
Yang Xu was a trialist forward from Guangzhou, a poor man's Negredo, and I'd have signed him (for the Sakai effect in China) had we not already maxed our foreign quota.
He was on decent form too, 1 goal and 5 assists in 1 start and 1 sub appearance.
Rossi also tore his hamstring 6 minutes into the Fiorentina match, can't catch a break that guy.
-----------------
This is Europa League qualification here, so it looks an attainable goal for us to build on.
14-1 isn't exactly title-winning odds....
Also, apologies for not having Eibar on here, no idea what went on there.
#233056 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
I'd agree with Martinez, but he's got his sights on the HoYD job only, so not much hope there.
Funny you mentioned Albelda too, I was looking to reunite him with Baraja (in a frankly under-appreciated midfield partnership) on the coaching front.
Too bad he's complete rubbish.
#232969 Singaporeans In Valencia
Eric Portapotty
(And a bit of backstory here - I've not been playing top-level sides for a long time now (last time I did was nearly getting Arsenal relegated and actually doing so with Watford back in FM07), since then it's been LLMs and Journeyman carriers. Fingers crossed this turn out better.)
(A shoutout to ArcheonDaniels as well, for his Transfer Update DB, which was AFAIK the only one which would let me start from the 14/15 season.)
Mr. Lim's not around apparently, so it's Señor Salvo who has given me the lowdown on the club.
Not liking the part about signing high profile signings though, given my biggest profile signing was Peter Crouch for 25 million - I'm not a very ambitious man.
They're quite good aren't they?
You'll see that there's a large number of future transfers, both in and out, so it's currently virtually impossible to give a proper appraisal of the team at this point in time.
What I can do, however, is take a look at my staff:
Yeah he's useless, so:
Ouch.
However, it does allow me to promote a club legend:
Yes, that Ruben Baraja, ex-long serving Valencia midfielder and Spain international, who was previously working as the U19s manager.
It's better to keep continuity at the club, so promotion in-house was the direction taken.
I'm also slightly jarred at the fact that my HoYD is a newgen, but I'll give him the chance to prove himself before I wield the axe on him.
Anyway, after a bit of time at the club the board offered me to voice any issues with the philosophies. Needing to sign high-profile players was a problem for me so I'd obviously mentioned that, as well as allowing me to develop our own players - here's how it concluded:
Rocky start, this.
#232890 The Shanghai Nights Adventure [FM15]
Eric Portapotty
Good luck with this