Eric Portapotty - Comments

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#157598 Player & Young Player of the Year
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Hazard on the YPOTY list - they might need to make a few changes regarding selection criteria.
#157506 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
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Tell us about the birds you banged while you were away.
#157325 Pentagon [FM14]
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Customary short update, with yet another youth intake:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/i3QLmYgl6P0y2DKE7E8q5flctgzfqa5nGdw1hyLO.png
10 points from 15, top half form, but probably not enough to challenge for the top 4.
The worst performance would inevitably be the Wadi Degla match - but what a shameful performance it was - we were lucky to take the lead, built on it, only to throw it away in the 2nd half.
Thrashing Al Mokawloon is quite the hallmark though, considering the woeful record we had against them not too long ago.

Hassan does have 5 goals (and 2 assists) in 5 starts, but as you can see 4 of those came in his debut against recently-promoted strugglers.
He showed what he is capable of in that win, but all too often he's looked slightly awkward - can't deny his quality though.

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/gYu2dqLPIfarRucUHWFdSo9LTO1UHuEhgcTE7xYY.png
13 off top, but only 5 off 4th, so there is still hope.
Next up, Al Ahly.

Now another youth batch, let's see how my (the club's (my)) investments are coming along:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/CQ6aHAeFZt1cTBgdQGvcjk7gLuEa374uvTY6sTJF.pnghttps://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/TEJz8AbjadJymexnA2EB4VGDWF5VudtOBLXyyLuB.png
No 5-star potential players which is a blow, but at least no great DM prospects - far too many of them coming through.

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/ppH2QUVE9alZfNIcFIF9e7fYVQto54lb0dr3jr1i.png
He's lucky he has pace and I'm looking into re-integrate strikers this season, because he'd be rotting in the reserves had it been any other year. (Which does say a lot about my management skills...)

Also, this'll probably spell the end of Abubakari Yakubu, who despite bringing in 4 outstanding talents, followed that up with unmotivated defensive midfielders and a simply mediocre batch.
I overlooked his lack of determination, man management and motivational skills (not to mention average abilities while working with youngsters) in the hope that he could bring in some Ghanian talent to the youth setup - can't say I was completely right to do that.
#157313 The pictures of you with your mum thread
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
I'm attempting to think of a witty caption without having to resort to insulting your mum.

So "You've got great teeth, Fanny" - that'll have to do for now.
#157281 Pentagon [FM14]
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Nah, rejected, I need another out of this team, another title even, before I can leave satisfied.

And knowing me I'll choke Lazio into the lower half :s
#157237 Pentagon [FM14]
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Now here's one to think about:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/6CTaNW7ZBtQ3a5jgmpXc4nF3XEyqtCTW4SheR39l.png
https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/2f1D6Fr6WZBgQH6NkkrEeZeXf5oJ5dwc9egZEFy4.png
https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/FGzFdS2ouytgUXLfB7T6NnHKVzfVe3S6vn4S4ftO.png
A truly tantalising prospect, one of Europe's biggest clubs (at one point anyway) and on their way back to the big time.
#157233 Sortitoutsi Goal of the Month - April 2014 Entries
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
The latter, I think.
#157212 Susie FC
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
5 caps for China... If I'm honest I'd much rather lead Singapore to an Asian Cup.
#156972 Pentagon [FM14]
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Jumping from a shithole from Mongolia to (even lower-league) Australia and South Korea does seem unlikely though.

But hey it's FM - if I can get Leicester to offer me a job for managing in Egypt then anything can happen.
#156969 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
What if you have a full time job? I assume you can return to it after you finish the conscription period?

Reminds me of the time I did volunteer work at one of our former army barracks in Limerick a few years back in school. If Ireland got invaded tomorrow, we'd be sending out a bunch of old, lazy and overweight soldiers to defend us. Maybe a couple of out of date tanks and I'm not sure if our air-force have any proper working planes. We'd be overran in hours.

Re-unite us with the Brits!

Don't think you're able to get a full-time job, especially if you won't be able to commit to the required duration.
#156758 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Do you have much choice with regards to what you do? Or are you just assigned a job/ role?

It's 8 weeks conditioning, 9 weeks basic military training, then they'll assign me to a vocation.

Not much choice, unless there are special circumstances (a family member's illness for instance).
#156747 Pentagon [FM14]
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
As mentioned, no league games in January, so here are some transfers:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/9bxbOn4o25noCPXFlX4uPGqsoWL2pQBcHYDiYogg.png
Highest-profile signing, he's come home (well, to Egypt anyway) from Catania for a 6-month vacation on the beaches of Alexandria.
He's brought in for the sole purpose of allowing us to play with strikers, because Mahmoud Ibrahim was never going to be fit/on form through the season.
We can also afford half his wages, so why not? It's not like we were the paupers of a year ago.

There's something quite worrying though:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/sBYNWtZVlyRMbbLInAI2EbpLinaFOu7Ii2j0QDhm.png
In his career he had a goals-to-games ratio of less than 20% at Catania, less than 1 in 3 at Fulham, and couldn't even break the 50% mark in the Netherlands and Portugal.
In fact the only time he's averaged more than a goal every 2 games was at Al Ahly, where he also had his best seasonal goals return, only to be promptly shipped off to the Eredivisie, as if the club knew that his scoring touch wouldn't last.

Fingers crossed he's learnt a trick or 2 while in Europe.

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/W8G6MwYNlFBsLWxdFWJsdY9VVYv2fidygfkOBMo1.pnghttps://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/6FuMDa1eomaXSY1kHUh9AApsujseY7lhXMIMZmRs.png
We had/are having a defensive issue regarding injuries, and Kamel was available, so an old favourite returns.
Of course with a genius agent by his side he promptly got $4k in wages while the agent pocketed $32k - all for a 6-month deal, the slimy prick.

Still, I do like him and would've kept him if we could afford to do so at the time, so I'll take the opportunity to ask him to sack the agent

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/oDXDtnpSqSD1cYl14bl60nrMzp5xwBxPG8KVibIF.png
As you would know El Sayed is still hilariously out of form, and I couldn't trust a young Ahmed Emam too much, so he comes in as cover.
He's essentially an older Emam - both are left wingers with the tactical nous and energy to play in Mabrouk's Box-to-Box role.

Now for a departure:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/kscI80NAJINzIRsN4fZfM4xGPFAaahhHkRjkqEQx.pnghttps://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/WdkGC7wXwUsWkUOx08qtb5kpyPhMK3yfbaBUGC5r.png
One of the many 'Casuals' that has come through the youth system, he was lucky to have been mentored to possess a Balanced personality, but with a determination of 8 he wasn't going to go places.
So in come Damanhour, who have splashed the cash again in a bid to go up, and stay up.

Not that I care about that, all I know is they've covered the agent's fees! \o/
#156716 Site Improvements
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Will you bring Bian back?
#156689 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Can't you flunk a psychological exam or something?

Funny you mention that. I've heard stories where some guy got to stay at home for most of his service by feigning depression the whole time.

I'm not that good an actor though.

Seriously? I hope you're just exaggerating.

Really, I don't work out at all, and I run out of steam quickly when running.

I'm not even remotely overweight, I'm just extremely unfit.
#156686 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
How long is the mandatory service in Singapore?

22 months, but because I can't even run 2.4 km in 20 minutes or do a pull-up I'm in 2 months earlier for conditioning.
#156674 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Dammit, getting conscripted on the 10th of September.

God fucking dammit.
#156660 Pistorius Trial
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Is it a recess now? Or has it been adjourned.
#156657 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
City have lawyers on their books who "created" FFP, so I am 100% confident they'll be fine. They know the loopholes etc if needed

Isn't that like... unfair?
#156656 Addickted To Winning (A Charlton story) IIIIIIIII
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
It's high time he told us more about the German birds he fucked.
#156435 The Night Thread Mk. IX
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/RM7tMh8eMLLDkMbLQxzi921IL8D6uilV9oqed3Vp.png



Can't believe they were serious
#156427 Pentagon [FM14]
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
It's the 2nd of January 2025, and this is not-quite-the-midterm report:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/6lVkLUuoiMdXYQj5NdeqO7pG6xJ42CcotUcBYCqN.png

Season started off well enough as the initial vibes of raised bonuses help us to 4 straight wins, including a comeback win against Zamalek in the season's opener.
Then things started to hit a snag as we drew against Suez FC, and our sense of invincibility was gone.
What followed was an infuriating run of inconsistency, as we went from highs of beating Al Mokawloon, to the ignominy of gifting Koroum their first point this season.
The defence was a joke, while the attack kept hitting shots past the post over and over...
We ended with an unbeaten run, but none of the games had us playing like a side worthy of a top-four finish - even the Telefounat match required conceding a goal for us to do something useful for a change.

Of the players:- Mabrouk got yet another medium-term injury (3 months), while last season's (albeit inconsistent) top scorer Mohamed El Sayed looks a pathetic shadow of what he once was - Mansoura's $925k offer on deadline day is now so much more of a missed opportunity.
At least Mahmoud Ibrahim has now shown the form that his potential threatened to deliver - top scorer this season, hero against Zamalek, and alleviating El Sayed's current ineptitude. Could do with a bit more consistency and better attitude though.

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/7MqzuRSQg80nLEqiYQ1pFi5jk5Rgs3wxu6tCudaO.png
So despite beating both Al Mokawloon and Ismaily, as well as getting 4 points from Zamalek, we find ourselves 15 points off the lead, and 7 points off 4th.
And thanks to the scheduling we've only got 13 games left to salvage this season, while January sees no league games. Like at all.

Draw for the Cup's 2nd round's also been made:

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/QkyHXrJl9dVZqzHVDiHrI9Y1OlnYbJEZ022Skn0O.png
If last season was anything to go by there's seriously no point in caring about the cup, considering we'll never get past the 3rd round.
#156396 Susie FC
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Dortmund Reserves...

At least I've done well there.
#156052 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Fuck it, I want Liverpool to win it if only for Gerrard.
#156005 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Holy shit, John Dykes.
#156002 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
Holy shit, in the South Asian stream I'm watching there's this fucking terrifying childbirth scene.
#155995 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
I remember when David Silva used to be the best footballer in the world...

Not his fault that Dzeko has been utter tripe, in fairness.
#155986 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
It's not exactly great either way tbh.

Then there's none of Nasri, Clichy and Ashley Cole getting another winners' medal.
#155982 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
I'd most want Liverpool, primarily because the United diehards will lose their shit.
#155967 Barclays Premier League 2013/14
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
#155886 Jai Paul on tour
Eric Portapotty
17 years ago
6 months ago
3,327
Premium
16 year old regista? Nah mate, no way.