Fantastic - Comments

I know you're advertising, but surely there's a way to get rid of that shit red bar at the bottom of the screen. It's unbearable.

Ipswich.

Thanks dog. Only 48 to go.

So years ago on Los Wonderkids I coined the term Pentagon as the name for the challenge where one has to collect all five of the continental trophies. When it was first created it seemed like a daunting task, starting from unemployed and building yourself into that position.

It spread everywhere, and having personally completed it at least three times it's obvious to me: the Pentagon is too easy. If you think completing the Pentagon is hard then you are a baby. That's right, a baby. I'm calling you a baby, baby.

So where to go from there? Where can one go? There are so many vanity challenged:

Winning with home-grown players? Sooooooo 2007
Gaining promotion from the lower leagues in all major nations and winning the league? Pfft, that's a fucking Steam achievement. Some loser already thought of that.
Dafuge's challenge? Get the fuck out of here, that's older than my mum.

No. I have devised the most singularly brilliant challenge that can never, ever be topped. How is that possible? Well, it's really quite simple, because the challenge is this:

Complete Football Manager.



I am going to complete Football Manager. But how can one feasibly complete the supposedly incompletable?

I am going to win every top tier league in vanilla Football Manager.

Years ago this wouldn't have been possible. The amount of processing power required to have all 51 playable nations loaded, along with the burden of 155,000 players, would be crippling. But thanks to the power of the Add/Remove league function you can tailor your game to suit your needs. A player can decide halfway though a career, "fuck it, I want to manage in Hong Kong.".

Using this one powerful tool I will win all 51 nations' top tier leagues, in the same career game.

The rules are simple:

• Start unemployed with Sunday League reputation
• No in-game editor
• Attribute masking on
• Can have as many or as few active leagues loaded as possible
• No adding/removing managers in order to create vacancies at desirable clubs
• Holidaying is allowed

That's it. Very simple, because let's be honest here; the challenge is longevity. If I'm not working on a day I can possibly crank out a season, depending on the number of games. This is a challenge that would take, at the very bare minimum, 51 seasons, but more realistically would take 100 or more. This could easily take over a year to complete.

It is the ultimate Football Manager challenge, and I am going to do it.

Preview function on posts doesn't work.

It looks smart, I don't know how I feel about the bar at the top, just feels a bit cluttered. But it's aesthetically pleasing.

It sits on my computer, finished but unedited. I hate it, and because of that I hate myself.

If anyone wants to read my newest screenplay, go for it. It's an erotic thriller called The Last Tango In Leicester.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B_r75w3H2NNqRmFxLXY5WUZMWHc

Yeah dog, I play Dark Souls.

Anyone got or getting MGSV? I've played about eight hours of it so far (mostly side missions and dying). Haven't played a console game since Assassin's Creed Black Flag but this is really good.

All of their contracts expire in March.

I doubt Sky will get them. There will be some form of non-compete clause in their contracts, it stops them from just taking a fuck load of money from a rival network and making a program so similar.

I think Netflix have the most logical shot, they are not bound by OFCOM, BBFC or any other communications body that would hinder the trio's ability to express themselves freely. If they do get signed up to Netflix it will turn out to be the most creatively fruitful avenue, because Netflix have money to fucking burn.

Sky is a step sideways, or backwards even.

Just to clarify, Top Gear has a global audience of 350 million. Netflix spent $9,000,000 an episode on that dogshit program Marco Polo. A Top Geat format program is the biggest no brainer available to television executives in the world right now.

Woke up this morning and found out I've bought a pair of gold plated vintage Ray Bans,



At least drunk me has taste, but I'm not made of fucking money...

Yeah the last episode aired last night. I watched it this morning, I only knew about it from a few weeks ago thanks to the AV Club, but even before the episode aired last night it was blowing up because he was arrested on Saturday and it was front page news on Sunday.

You should probably watch it. It's only six episodes and it's mental.

Such a shame we couldn't make it the new year...

I'm kidding, this has been a fucking incredible season so far. I did not expect this, top half maybe, but we came out of the gates flying and haven't let up. Big wins and draws against teams like Stoke, Sunderland and Swansea really punctuate what we're doing. Svendsen is on fire, Nevin is killing it in defence and 32 year old Flinders is having the season of his life in goal.

You really should watch The Jinx. It's one of the best things I've seen on TV for a while, but I've always been fascinated with documentaries that have face to face interviews with the subject.

2018/19 season

Here are my signings, not loans. Svendsen came back on loan because he was great for us last year up front with Martin and Zaukani came in to cover the defence.















Very pleased with the players I've brought in, they should match the good unit we already have.

I thoroughly enjoy Top Gear, or at least I used to, I'm never really around to watch it. But the support for him, when you lay out the situation objectively, is bizarre. These are the same people who argue for soldiers getting footballers wages, due to moral reasons, but can only see selfishly when it comes to their own interests. I'm sure many of the people voting on change.org are menial workers in shit jobs up and down the country, would they feel happy if someone punched them at work and was allowed to return?

I'm all for fucking about and learning from mistakes, forgiveness is a valuable part of life, but there comes a time when you have to take a stand. No one person is bigger than the ship. That's a fact in all walks of life. Bigger people have fallen on their swords for far less. Clarkson is a TV presenter, he's not General Patton.

Sorry, I know it's only taken me two months to post my next update. I work a lot now.

Finally finished the season at about eight this morning, shot up the league thanks to another 30+ goal season from Gary Martin, an improved defence and an amazing 20 game unbeaten run.

As always this opens up more exciting opportunities, I've already begun scouting for the season ahead and while I think we'll have a hard task staying in the division the motherfucking sweet smell of the Premier League is so close I can feel its green particles nestling inside my nasal cavity, tempting me to go on.

So with my current rate of progression you'll see my next update in about seventeen years...

Amazing position after 24 games, I really hope we can keep this up because we have some good players here and we're playing excellently. Shocked by Yeovil and I was offered the Brighton job, but I reckon it's worth sticking around for this.

http://ufmgisawful.tumblr.com/

Time flies...

A pleasant little run during October that has seen us rise up to ninth in the league.

Whiplash is my favourite film of the last 12 months. It's measured in ever aspect, stripped down and just relies upon simply breathtaking acting performances and music. You need to see it.

2017/18











Sold Brad Walker for quite the princely sum and it enabled me to raid Burton and bring in a player I've been eyeballing for a while. He's obviously going places and may even be a starter by the end of the season. The rest of my signings are defenders and loans to bolster the players I already have, who I cam quite confident in.

I think mid-table this season has to be the target and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect it.

A solid string of results in the final quarter saw us move into a relatively comfortable position in the league. There's a lot of areas, both personnel and tactically, that need to be improved over the summer but I'm very happy with how we took to life on the next rung in the ladder.

The true success story of the season has to be Gary Martin, whose 31 league goals both led the league and broke a Hartlepool single season goalscoring record.



Either he stays and continues to bang them in or he gets sold. Either way, totally vindicated spending the £110k on him.

Annoying loss, especially after two wins and two draws in our last four games.

2016/17















Feel like we're doing absolutely fine given we've just been promoted. I've tried to get some prospects in with good futures so we can either profit from their talent or from their sales. If we can just keep our necks above water this season I think we'll have established a secure position in this league for the forseeable future.

Locked that shit down. Amazing seaosn led by the play of Barkhuizen and MacDonald just fucking shit up left, right, and centre.



I think the average age of the squad is about 24 so there's real room for this team to grow. Inevitably player sales will occur, but for the most part it's all fun as the gaps in our margins get wider and we can start looking to get better players in and see how we can handle League One. I'm excited, this is a fun game.

Brought in Chris Long from Everton during the winter transfer break as Klasnic is getting old.





He's doing pretty well so far, and so are we still:



Just got to keep pushing forward. It's a little tight right now as I have four strikers injured (MacDonald, Klasnic, Wood, Bright) but the addition of Long and some utterly brilliant football from Barkhuizen should see us stay relevant until the end of the season.

So yeah, the season's started the other way. Josh MacDonald is a killer, and he's only 19. Tom Naylor and Trotman in defence are cooking on gas and Brad Walker (who almost left last season) has formed a killer partnership with Dolan in the middle.