Fantastic - Comments

2015/16

















I made some big signings this summer. MacDonald and Klasnic are a total overhaul to the frontline (bye bye Marllon) while reinforcing the midfield and defence has also taken place. Instead of banging out loads of loans I tried to actually bring in my own guys this year as I felt it'd be better in the long term to actually have them on board. I like the players and I think they suit my playing style.

Shitty ending to the season. Had to have a meeting with the board to convince them I'm not a total dick. They've told me I need eight points in my next five matches next season otherwise they're going to merk me. Fuck them, I tried my best. I mean for fuck's sake, this is Hartlepool... a town that prides itself on hanging a monkey during the Napoleonic wars because they were so backwards they couldn't distinguish a hairy animal that walks on all fours and man.

I'll try again, but given that the board hate me, the players hate me and I hate me, I really don't see anything but rock bottom.

Dropped a bit since I last updated but we're still floating around the right end of the table. We lost in the Northern Final of the Johnstone's Paint Trophy, but I would rather win a free cheeseburger at McDonald's than be associated with that worthless tin cup.

I might flex my adventurous side and try a more attacking style of play in the final third of the season, obviously this will completely disrupt any positive grace I've built up and trainwreck my season.

Lost our first three games, but since then we've been pretty solid. I thought we'd be average but given how we're playing I don't see why we can't push for promotion. I do need another centre back. Matthew Bates is always injured and Claude Davis is due a hip replacement any day now.

I do own this though:



Which definitely looks nothing like this:

I signed a few, loaned a few. I wanted to sign a guy called Denzel Slinger but I wasn't able to sell one of my players for £15k in order to pay the signing-on fee. I guess that goes to show how highly valued my team is.



Kris Bright is a decent Kiwi striker. Claude Davis is a massive beast of a man who has been kicking the shit out of strikers in the lower leagues for years. Nathan Luscombe is a winger who just left Hartlepool in real life and who I just re-signed (unknowingly).

I don't really know what to expect, there's some 'talent' but nothing that screams amazing. I don't think we'll get relegated, so that's a bonus.

I haven't managed unemployed for a while, so having to sift through 22 shitty interviews answering the same boring questions over and over was as fun as it sounds.



I promised them the budget they offered (£20k) is more than adequate and that I'll definitely achieve a respectable mid-table position.

Apparently they're desperate.

I'm ill, on my sofa. My washing machine is on so I can't hear the fucking TV. So I bought Football Manager 2015. I've started unemployed. Let's get it on.

I'll take it.

Leeds beating Huddersfield. Can't wait for terriersmad's post match propaganda.

Hollywood never dies.

I do it all the time.

Had a great last six hours:



Need to cut the fat off it, down to maybe 70-80,000 words, but I'm kind of, almost, maybe happy with the ending. I have spent a while umming and ahhing over it.

Latest set I did tonight. Will do more on Tuesday.

You need to scout us to find out our attributes. Save the game, add yourself as manager of Arsenal, scout all the players to get the attributes, take screenshots and then reload the save; that way you're not affecting the game. A lot of us haven't seen our attributes in four years.

A couple were close, garnering the "Chelsea lucky etc" match report, and a few were 3-0, 4-0s. I was quite surprised that there was no draw or win, maybe that says more about Chelsea than it does about Newcastle.

Final one, I'm done for the day.

I'm leaving in ten minutes, I'll see if I can squeeze one more out.

No deviation there.

First set done:



A small thing has come up, which result to use going forward if it is equal? I think it's fairest to just flip a coin and go from there. If there are any coin flips I'll record those as well.

So as discussed I will be taking over as manage of Newcastle and replaying every league match ten times each to. I will record each result individually and then score the average result (in points) to gauge the variance.



There are some concerns that have arisen:

When moving on to the next game which result do I use going forward: the average result (win/loss/draw) or do I go truly random and use the tenth result? I think it's best to go forward using the average result because that will more than likely save me from any potential sacking. I'll have four saves running:

Randomsim - just the general save for the main game
Rsimwin
Rsimdraw
Rsimloss

I'll use the latter three as holding games for potentially moving forward. One thing I will try to do is to use the average result that has the least injuries, again to try and lessen the effects of outside circumstances and focus the game purely on each random encounter.

Finally, I will not be signing any players, I will not be taking charge of any press conferences, I will not be managing any games. I will holiday every game, I do not want to influence the game in any way, just observe the results. This will also serve to make the game move much faster.

I'll update this thread every time a ten game sequence has been completed.

Since no one is capable of actually linking to a tactic I'll just use a standard 4-4-2 control and will be managing Newcastle.

He had a 6.8 rating in that match...

2025/26





Only one actual signing this season (Cesarini is a guy who has played with me since the beginning and I just like to have him around). Bilbao is the long term replacement for Assad. Yes Assad has been our best player the last two years but he'll be 30 this season and at his age his attributes drop rapidly. Bilbao is our record signing but as you can see he's fucking outstanding and although expensive i should definitely get my money's worth. He's just come back from a knee tendonitis but that shouldn't stunt his growth.

As for this season? Who knows, let's shoot for the fucking moon.

Oh no, I already have had it, twice from Barcelona and PSG, but I rejected them. He's tied down until 2029 on a very good (for me) wage. I'm just in two minds over what I would sell him for.... maybe €55,000,000. I mean he sells more shirts than anyone else.

Seems like Newcastle is the way to go. If someone could upload the tactic for me to use I'll get started on this Monday as I'm busy over the weekend.

I agree.

Info dump:











Incredible, incredible season. Most potent attack, fourth stingiest defence. Karim Sassi's arrival was instrumental in this, as was Adalberto's ascension to starter. I've already confirmed Sassi's transfer, it's too great an opportunity to pass up. Two cups in one season eleven years after we were in the sixth French division, truly remarkable.



This is how big time we are, I'm now finally talking to a commercial director. Speaking of Kulikov, I've rejected two offers from PSG and Barcelona for him. I managed to negotiate both up to €40,000,000 before they pulled out. I'm not fussed, he's so young and so fucking good:



Very exciting season coming up.

One down...