Fantastic - Comments

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#71051 English Premier League 2012/2013

Fantastic

15 years ago

2 years ago

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28 Apr 2013 12:25:54

Always remember, you could support Leeds.

#70894 Still fucking facebook

Fantastic

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27 Apr 2013 16:06:19

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/bJzYk2nHvTJgzrAfIaSoB68xWOzmEGxene9Ae39o.png

Apparently it's that funny.

#70888 Still fucking facebook

Fantastic

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27 Apr 2013 16:01:01

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/554705_10200926583517706_909758667_n.jpg

This appeared on my newsfeed. I don't understand.

#70786 General Music Thread

Fantastic

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27 Apr 2013 10:14:29

http://open.spotify.com/user/1163518235/playlist/3JoPl8N1jsgaCE2eEKBlKH

#70767 What Was The Last Film You Saw?

Fantastic

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27 Apr 2013 04:55:23

Haven't convinced me.

#70743 What Was The Last Film You Saw?

Fantastic

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26 Apr 2013 22:48:24

I can't be bothered to watch it. Compare it to something for me so I can.

#70677 English Premier League 2012/2013

Fantastic

15 years ago

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2,496

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26 Apr 2013 16:30:46

I hate football.

#70656 BetThread

Fantastic

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26 Apr 2013 14:35:06

Good luck with that.

#70578 Writing my agent query

Fantastic

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25 Apr 2013 19:53:19

Vampires => Zombies =>??

I reckon it's going to be aliens next.

Story of a 17 year old boy who stumbles across a crashed spacechip and has his DNA infused with the millenia old genetic code of the dying spaceship pilot, making him the only person who can carry on the ancient bloodline that will prevent the destruction of the galaxy.

\Something like that.

#70572 Writing my agent query

Fantastic

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25 Apr 2013 19:05:24

Finally finished changing the tense from past to present today, took me about fifteen hours to read it all through and change it as I was going along. It's the first time I've had the opportunity to read it all the way through. There's tons I want to change, which is great news, stuff I want to add, stuff I want to take out. I think my target of 20 or so more days to have all the text done is perfectly fine, but I might need a week or two after that to get the edits done, depending on how much I allow myself.

After that I'm going to give out draft copies to anyone who is happy to give me some feedback on the boo. Not necessarily page by page notes, but at least something that allows me to go into the second editing process with some idea of what readers do and don't like.

#70502 What's the last thing you bought thread

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25 Apr 2013 14:24:36

I wouldn't back the production of a film unless I receive a copy of it. On top of that, there's no definitive level of quality that you can envisage unlike a product like an Oculus Rift or a Pebble Watch. What happens if the film is crap? It'll easily hit its $2m goal and keep going, I'll never see the film. I still haven't Garden State. I don't plan to ever either.

#70458 Laptops

Fantastic

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25 Apr 2013 10:09:57

The ASUS Zenbook UX31A was the only other ulttrabook I considered when getting my laptop. They have a slightly newer model now, but I'd still go with what I have purely because it's sexier. I wouldn't recommend getting a touch based latptop, the gimmick seems fairly redundant and I wouldn't like the idea of finger smudges all over the screen, especially if you do a lot of work on it.

If you're absolutely set on it then Lenovo make an X1 Carbon Touch now, but it's not really my scene:

#70416 Writing my agent query

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25 Apr 2013 01:37:33

By Rick87 | Permalink | On 24 April 2013 - 19:38 PM

What happened to your story about a WW2 pilot or whatever it was?

It's still and idea that exists in my notebook. One thing at a time.

#70295 Fuck Ken Bates - The Leeds United thread

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24 Apr 2013 16:03:43

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/431899_10151479517968512_2127219634_n.jpg

What the fuck is that?

#70283 Writing my agent query

Fantastic

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24 Apr 2013 15:23:15

By JCash3000 | Permalink | On 23 April 2013 - 09:52 AM

hardly interesting story. sounds like the usual teenager stuff, nothing innovative and therefore unmarketable.
this exposé is far too short also.
The exposé should be a short but complete resumé of the plot and the characters. no cliffhangers or shit like that.
maybe you can add a comparison to works from other authors.
I dont think any agent/publisher will buy this in this form unless you change it and put in something unique (maybe you already got something unique in it, correct me if im wrong, but it doesnt show in your exposé and thats what the agent reads).

Or maybe you could call your book "JCash3000 is the ultimate faggot." to push sales
Good luck though

Some tips that may be helpful:
its never a good idea to blindly send scripts to publishers or their agents.
find the right publisher which corresponds/suits to your book/story (pretty obvious i guess but nevertheless).
Its common to contact the agent/publisher first (phone/email) and check if he is interested.
If he is, you will be asked to send some 20 pages of your scipt as a probe and an exposé of about 3 pages (and a CV maybe also).
If they like it you will be asked to send the whole manuscript.
Then they will decide.
Note: Agents dont like it if you just send them scripts. They will throw them in the bin at once.

This query follows the exact standard that an agent expects:

Simple salutation
One sentence synopsis of the story
150-300 word outline of the stories contents and arc
Title, word count and genre
Short bio of the author with any relevant writing related background

http://agentquery.com/writer_hq.aspx

Agents expect to receive unsolicited queries and the first three chapters (or ten pages) of the novel. The aim of the query letter is to just give them a taste of what is to come. It, under no uncertain terms, should not be longer than a page. It should not be deprecating, jokey or insulting.

Never call the agent to confirm it's okay to send your query, they won't take your call.

And it's a total waste to send your query to a publisher, here's a photo of the slush pile of manuscripts that get sent to a publishing house. Good luck getting read within a year in this:

http://25.media.tumblr.com/a9f8e83ebffc45db8104e4096e18eda7/tumblr_mh9mvjnKP11qdc3szo1_500.jpg

As usual, JCash3000 is the ultimate faggot.

By Jaygull | Permalink | On 24 April 2013 - 12:50 PM

Diary of a Functioning Retard is a terrible name, maybe change it to something else?

I agree completely. Basically the only books with the word retard in them are French books, I've got a few ideas in my mind but I'm not fretting abut it right now until the thing is finished.

By ianbaker | Permalink | On 24 April 2013 - 13:13 PM

Failing all of this, couldnt you self publish on Amazon as an e-book?

I've thought up, what I think is, a good storyline for my second novel so the plan is to try and shop this one when it is complete, while writing the second. If the first doesn't sell, I'll try selling the second, and if that doesn't sell either the I will go down the self publishing route while writing a third book. The general rule of thumb with self publishing is to have at least three books so you can offer free days on one book in order to drive sales of the others. I've been doing a fair amount of reading up on it and it'll mean having to start a blog, be active on Twitter, Goodreads etc.

#69974 Writing my agent query

Fantastic

15 years ago

2 years ago

2,496

Banned

23 Apr 2013 04:50:34

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/ODzpvSYmvTyup7hjFJbixTKj4lE5vN77LpjIuDD8.png

Haven't finished the book yet, still have about 25 days left to until it will actually be done. But I felt it was prudent, just to take my mind of writing the story, to prep myself for eventually shopping the book to agents. Initially trying to distil the story down was kind of hard, but I think I've done a good job of putting my hands on what makes the story interesting.

Anyway, if anyone can be bothered I'd appreciate some feedback.

#69967 Transfer Rumours 2013/14

Fantastic

15 years ago

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22 Apr 2013 23:49:52

JCash3000 is the ultimate faggot.

#69841 The Night Thread Mk. IX

Fantastic

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22 Apr 2013 18:38:12

https://sortitoutsi.net/uploads/mirrored_images/z2gz4vsPvLbaUaCIkpqpCaydNh6J6nMcFCeEMGNb.png

It costs nothing to learn how to google correctly.

#69802 The Night Thread Mk. IX

Fantastic

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22 Apr 2013 15:24:26

By Ninja | Permalink | On 21 April 2013 - 23:23 PM

'People on the internet paid to get it changed'

How does take five minutes? Although I definitely want to hear the sexed up version you use to pull.

There's the whole getting the phone out to prove it with the picture, why El Hadji etc. There are a few layers that need to be put on.

#69801 English Premier League 2012/2013

Fantastic

15 years ago

2 years ago

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Banned

22 Apr 2013 15:22:40

JCash3000 is the ultimate faggot.

#69659 The Night Thread Mk. IX

Fantastic

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21 Apr 2013 20:37:39

By Franck | Permalink | On 21 April 2013 - 15:26 PM

You don't introduce yourself to strangers as El Hadji?

My friends do, but with new people it takes about five minutes to explain why I'm called El Hadji so I tend not to bother. I changed it back on Facebook because I keep getting friend requests from African women.

#69655 English Premier League 2012/2013

Fantastic

15 years ago

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21 Apr 2013 20:35:15

By Ninja | Permalink | On 21 April 2013 - 20:48 PM

Yes, but you like him because he's a cunt.

That's not the defence I want.

He's the most fascinating man n the Premier League today. I really hope he gets divorced and then starts going out in Liverpool.

#69624 English Premier League 2012/2013

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21 Apr 2013 19:20:36

By Ninja | Permalink | On 21 April 2013 - 19:37 PM

Can someone please defend him so we have some entertainment on here?

I'll defend him, I think it's amazing what he's done. He's my favourite footballer by a long, long way.

#69606 English Premier League 2012/2013

Fantastic

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21 Apr 2013 17:51:01

I didn't think it was possible for Suarez to go up in my estimation, but wow... once again he's endeared himself to me. I fucking love the guy.

#69536 The Night Thread Mk. IX

Fantastic

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21 Apr 2013 14:23:46

Was macking on some bitch last night and then she said she wasn't going to bang me "because you're Max Evans". I think I might be on a website or something.

#69136 The Night Thread Mk. IX

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19 Apr 2013 10:10:01

I find it amazing you can shit on a group of people using a commonality to come together following a national tragedy. You know, to show togetherness and bravery in the face of adversity, because, like, I guess, that;s a human trait that demonstrates, like, compassion. Because, you know, people give a shit about things and stuff.