Writing my agent query

Or maybe you could call your book "JCash3000 is the ultimate faggot." to push sales

Men aged 18-35 don't really read books. If there is one fundamental issue with what you've written, that's going to be it.

Definitely need to change the title, some people will be very put off by it instantly and I doubt any credible publisher will release a book called that.

Course they do.

Sure, many do, but in comparison to other demographic groups young men are the worst readers you can find.

hardly interesting story. sounds like the usual teenager stuff, nothing innovative and therefore unmarketable.
this exposé is far too short also.
The exposé should be a short but complete resumé of the plot and the characters. no cliffhangers or shit like that.
maybe you can add a comparison to works from other authors.
I dont think any agent/publisher will buy this in this form unless you change it and put in something unique (maybe you already got something unique in it, correct me if im wrong, but it doesnt show in your exposé and thats what the agent reads).


Or maybe you could call your book "JCash3000 is the ultimate faggot." to push sales
Good luck though

Some tips that may be helpful:
its never a good idea to blindly send scripts to publishers or their agents.
find the right publisher which corresponds/suits to your book/story (pretty obvious i guess but nevertheless).
Its common to contact the agent/publisher first (phone/email) and check if he is interested.
If he is, you will be asked to send some 20 pages of your scipt as a probe and an exposé of about 3 pages (and a CV maybe also).
If they like it you will be asked to send the whole manuscript.
Then they will decide.
Note: Agents dont like it if you just send them scripts. They will throw them in the bin at once.

Diary of a Functioning Retard is a terrible name, maybe change it to something else?

Failing all of this, couldnt you self publish on Amazon as an e-book?

This query follows the exact standard that an agent expects:

Simple salutation
One sentence synopsis of the story
150-300 word outline of the stories contents and arc
Title, word count and genre
Short bio of the author with any relevant writing related background

http://agentquery.com/writer_hq.aspx

Agents expect to receive unsolicited queries and the first three chapters (or ten pages) of the novel. The aim of the query letter is to just give them a taste of what is to come. It, under no uncertain terms, should not be longer than a page. It should not be deprecating, jokey or insulting.

Never call the agent to confirm it's okay to send your query, they won't take your call.

And it's a total waste to send your query to a publisher, here's a photo of the slush pile of manuscripts that get sent to a publishing house. Good luck getting read within a year in this:



As usual, JCash3000 is the ultimate faggot.

I agree completely. Basically the only books with the word retard in them are French books, I've got a few ideas in my mind but I'm not fretting abut it right now until the thing is finished.

I've thought up, what I think is, a good storyline for my second novel so the plan is to try and shop this one when it is complete, while writing the second. If the first doesn't sell, I'll try selling the second, and if that doesn't sell either the I will go down the self publishing route while writing a third book. The general rule of thumb with self publishing is to have at least three books so you can offer free days on one book in order to drive sales of the others. I've been doing a fair amount of reading up on it and it'll mean having to start a blog, be active on Twitter, Goodreads etc.

What happened to your story about a WW2 pilot or whatever it was?

as a first time author you have very little influence on the title of the book anyway. If they dont like it they change it. Its not that it is your decision.

Write a book about Indians vs Vikings.

That's probably the next bandwagon when zombies/Game of Thrones fizzle out.

Vampires => Zombies =>??

I reckon it's going to be aliens next.

Story of a 17 year old boy who stumbles across a crashed spacechip and has his DNA infused with the millenia old genetic code of the dying spaceship pilot, making him the only person who can carry on the ancient bloodline that will prevent the destruction of the galaxy.

\Something like that.