I'm going to watch every Bond film this week

Doesn't eat meat, or like James Bond.

Is a Chelsea fan. It all makes sense.

Wears womens jeans...

Just watched Dr No, wasn't ace but Sean Connery is class. Honey Rider is a mega babe too.

I don't wear women's jeans thank you Dutton!

James Bond films have just never done anything for me, much like Star Wars and Indiana Jones to be honest. Though, I don't like Indiana Jones because it used to give me nightmares as a kid (the while bolder rolling after me thing and crushing me).

Out of all the things from Indiana Jones to haunt you as a child... being covered by spiders, a pit of snakes, decaying bodies, impaled skeletons, black magic.. out of all those things.. you get frightened by a rock.

I watched Alien when I was like 10.

Didn't sleep until I was 18.

A rock that continuously rolls after you, down an endless tunnel, yes.

Could never outrun it either.

I didn't like Bond when growing up. I may try them again

I actually skipped a few and watched Live and Let Die, Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me and the start of Moonraker.

LALD is pretty standard Roger Moore affair. I like how dumb the plot is because Moore fits in really well with that world, the enemies are suitably named and suitably dumb: Mr Big, Baron Samedi and Tee Hee Motherfucking Johnson. It's all pretty silly and it culminates in the introduction of sharks as a weapon for super villains, with a stupid escape to boot. Stupid, but watchable, with a killer opening song and some good stunts.

A lot of people shit on MWTGG, but I really enjoy it. The middle is a little wooden, karate school, the fat American dude, but I like the idea of Bond being hunted, the concept of the ultimate duel. Britt Ekland is probably my favourite Bond slut and I like how he treats her like slop and she still comes back for more. It's a lot more adventurous than LALD and while it doesn't hit the mark I don't think it's as terrible as some make out.

The Spy Who Loved Me? Fucking incredible. Okay, if you compare it to a really well executed Bond film that has an understanding of what the character is, then yes this is a stupid film. But within the context of the world it creates? Amazing. From the fact that the creators were so lazy that the best name they could come up with for Bach was Agent XXX, to Jaws, to the evil super palace in the ocean. It's all done so majestically and Moore's one liners and unruffled hair just make it so well done. It's perfect because it knows how stupid it is, but who cares? It is the best of the excess of Bond, sharks, the invention of the jet ski, underwater fight scenes. And what an opening song! Carly Simon is a genius. I could say a lot more about it but my hands are tired, definitely Moore's highlight.

I'm about half an hour into Moonraker, it's awful.

There's a joke in there...

What a cunt.