6 years ago
1 week ago
Good run. Can't wait for the next chapter! 👍
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Good run. Can't wait for the next chapter! 👍

Cheers man, glad you're enjoying it.


End of League 2025/26

The 2nd half of the season went about as good as one could ask for - 7 wins, 2 draws and a loss.
The WAPDA draw was incredibly annoying though - Waris finally scored at the death to secure the 3 points.... Only for us to concede even later, against their 10 men no less.
This meant that going into the final day, this was the title race:

Afghan FC were supposed to be in the race to the bitter end had they not let in a stoppage-time leveller against Pak Army no less, while a late penalty against the latter gave us the glimmer of hope of staying in it.
In the final day we were up against, you guessed it, Afghan FC who still had the possibility of overtaking us should they win the encounter.
Meanwhile Pak Army were to play against relegation-threatened Pak Police.

Well that was our end of the deal settled, now it's up to Pak Police to fight for their own survival chances:

Oh my days........ I mean I've cleared this competition so it doesn't sting as much, but it's still very much a pisstake this.


Waris can look back at another dominant season, but he did sustain a twisted ankle that ruled him out for the run in, and at least the early stages of the cups.
Surprised that Aslam jumped on the top scorers' list too, considering the number of times I've been frustrated with his lack of clinical ability.

Speaking of the cups:

New Young look like the harder hurdle to clear being Sri Lankan Champions and all, but with either the Bhutanese or Nepalese representatives up ahead I think it could be an easier ride.
Who am I kidding, I have no idea how these guys rank against us.

It does provide another fixture conundrum though:

I thought I was done with this after the league was finished.....
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
End of Season 2025/26


I thought things were going smoothly enough when we dispatched NBP with some ease... Well that is after we completely crashed against Muslim FC; we definitely deserved to lose by more than the 3 we conceded, and to bring the deficit back to 1 was fortunate in itself.
So it was down to the last group game, and that was another mess - we'd scored 1st, went behind, went back in front AND got pegged back again before Shah put it to bed with the winner.

So we top the group by the skin of our teeth - 3 teams finishing on 6 points meant head-to-head was moot, and our goals scored gave us the decisive advantage.

Annoyed that we were pegged back immediately after scoring (against 10 men no less, it could've been one of them meme games), but otherwise a pretty comfortable performance.

Our most professional performance of the cup - scored 2 early on, then sat back and defended solidly, no trouble.
On to the final then, we finally went one further than last season:

Did I mention how much I hate playing against 3 striker formations? ffs
We were very lucky to have gone in only 1 down at the break (their GK had serious problems with Shah's near post finishes), and in the 2nd half they continued to wreck havoc on our backline, even as we moved to a back 3 and front 3 of our own.
But yet again: cometh the hour, cometh the man - Moosa with 2 late goals to drag us kicking and screaming into penalties.
Thankfully Waris' missed mattered little as we successfully navigated that final minefield.

This was a truly awful tournament for our defence to be honest, it's almost completely down to the heroics of Moosa and Shah that we even got this far.
That said, in the end we did get this far, and then some:

GET IN, that's the Pakistani trophy sweep done - now for the AFC Cup:

Surprisingly trouble-free given that we had to juggle these qualifying games alongside the NFCC, but like I said before they were easier propositions.

Of our opponents I've only ever heard of New Radiant - they're a powerhouse in the Maldives, and our (Singaporean irl) clubs would play them regularly in the AFC Cup.
NEROCA are definitely the best side here though, being the only full-time team in the group and all.

We started well enough, drawing with NEROCA on the eve of the cup final and subsequently winning our next 2 games to put us in a great position to qualify.
Unfortunately we weren't able to replicate our performance against Abahani a 2nd time, and NEROCA then finished us off at the 2nd time of asking.
At least we tore New Radiant a new one twice over, so there's that.\

Not that it was enough, with only 1st place qualifying for the Interzone Semifinals (yeah I don't know how it works either).

Season Review

Players of the Season
Sarwar Moosa is our well deserved player of the season.
Having started the season largely as a supersub as Waris and Aslam were preferred, Waris' injury towards the tail end of the league and our dual commitments in the cups gave Moosa an opportunity to start games. He took that opportunity with both hands, starting all the NFCC games, as well as the AFC Cup games once the domestic affairs concluded.
He showed a serious appetite for cup competitions, averaging a goal a game in the AFC Cup, and well over that ratio in the NFCC!
Youthful exuberance is one of the best cheat codes around, no joke.
I should probably have started Shahid Shah in the league given his ability, but he more than made up for lost time with an incredible 18 goals in 12 games.
Even at 34 and wasting away physically, Mohammed Uddin is still doing bits on the right flank.
7 assists each in the league and cups don't tell the full story, as it's his scarcely believable 74 key passes that makes him stand out.
Asif Waris has retained the club's league top scorer gong, but with his injury at the end of the season his game time also went down.
Still he's a club icon who I'll expect to continue staying around for the next 2 years or so.
Shame on the fans who doubted Ian Barnett, as he proved he could still wreck havoc down the left, even as his end product numbers don't show it.
I introduced Amir Rehman previously as someone who would be brought into the 1st team this season, and he has rewarded me with industrious performances.
He's also my penalty taker, though not by choice as our pool for that is quite dry - and he's missed a few himself.
Nevertheless, having good physicals put him in very good stead on our midfield.
This season has seen Tahir Aslam's gradual decline in favour of Shah and Moosa. Somehow still managed to score a fair few goals though, despite his awful profligacy at times.

We've also had a youth intake (if that matters at all by this point):
Some exceptional talents in this intake, Abdul Imran and Jamil Aziz already starting material and headlining this batch.

We also had some news at our old hunting ground:

That is what you get when you release Ian Barnett.


Alas, it's time for pastures new:

It's pretty clear where the powers that be want me to go next:

The Bahamian league is proper weird, with 4 games leading to a championship/relegation playoff of another 4 games, meaning an 8 game league season.
Weirder still is that the Cup starts in mid-February, which leaves a 3 month gap in the interim.

The Somalian team is a no go as they're heading into the penultimate game of the season and are in the relegation spots (albeit being effectively only 1 point away from midtable.
Northern Mariana looks like an interesting prospect as well, especially if it can fill the gaps in the Bahamian season.

6 years ago
1 week ago
8 game season?? 🤔🤔
Best you add some internacional flavour.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
8 game season?? 🤔🤔
Best you add some internacional flavour.

Yeah, real weird league season.
Seems to happen quite a bit in the lower-ranked nations as well, when they don't play a lot of games for one reason or another.



Well, since my last update the job list has increased significantly, and of course I ran out to apply for every job in the Bahamas, like the loyal bloke that I am.

Only 1 club got back to me though:

And even then they decided to hire their own striker as player-manager instead.

However, with the new season starting, I decided to let the club have a fresh start:

Well I say that, it probably wasn't the best look for prospective employers for me to look for a new gig while in my current one.
6 years ago
1 week ago
Why not Dekedaha, the somalian 3rd place?
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
A Twist in the Tale

Remember how Cavaliers had hired their striker as a player-manager?

Yeah no - for some reason that arrangement fell through, so even as his history features nine stints as manager, I'm the one who actually got the job.

(Notice how their irl manager is Micheal Corleone... mild chuckle)

So yes, newly promoted Cavalier FC is our next stop in this career - having finished in the championship playoff only twice and relegated the same number of times so far, it is looking like a pretty bleak prospect.
Nevertheless, a good standard of youth recruitment should put us in good stead should I need to build for the longer term.

The squad (we're talking both senior and youth) severely lacks central and right midfielders of any calibre at all, so unless improvements are made to the squad I might have to become the devil I hate and play a 3-striker system.

Some Key Players:
Already a Bahamian international at 16, Devaughn Cencharles (jeez) is about as good a foundation that I could ask for.
Dodgy positioning will hopefully be improved upon, but other than that I should be expecting clean sheets galore.
Sean Mareus is the Zia Zaman of Cavalier, left footed and just a bit lacking in a number of areas that prevent him from becoming a reliable defender.
Herard Ambroise is one of 2 Hatians at the club, and his dominance in the air should give us a decisive advantage at setpieces.
Let's hope that it at least makes up for the lack of marking ability anyway.
Apparently I'll be expected to count on Dwayne Mareus for the goals.
I mean sure, there's precedent for a seemingly non-clinical striker doing bits anyway in the form of Joshewa McLean, but I'll be happy if he can bang in enough to keep us up.
Pacy and creative, Dwayne Thompson Palmer is the true star of the team, but he'll most likely ply his trade in midfield given our lack of numbers there.
"There's only one Ryan Christie"~
Christie's fine as a left winger, but I've got half a mind to convert him to LB since our current stock isn't all that quick anyway and I've got plenty of LWs already (so much so that I don't think Barnett will be joining me here).
A reliable backup GK who would've started under other ciscumstances, Valin Bodie can somehow play in midfield as well.
I know what you're thinking, and no I'm not going to.
Lastly, Travis Godet is our only natural-ish CM in the squad.
He's also pretty competent technically, but at 33 he's not got much left in the tank.

Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Why not Dekedaha, the somalian 3rd place?

Oh, yeah I screwed that up by requesting an upgrade to their youth recruitment in the interview then accidentally making it non-negotiable, so they ended negotiations there and then.
The other 3 didn't even bother with an interview.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Preseason 2026/27

Not an entirely impressive preseason, still have a number of kinks to smooth out.
That said, 50% win ratio is what it is, so we have a bit of positivity going forward.

We also sought to solve some of the issues plaguing the squad:

Cooper was 'my' first signing, except he was actually brought in by the Chairman for some reason.
But of course there's only 1 guy worth pointing out this window - I know the fans will hate me for this,but Encuma Wood has returned to help boost the midfield numbers.
Yeah he's not close to being good enough, but when you need someone who can tackle on a short notice... Well I had to work with what I know.

Tre Christie is a perfect example of the club creating its own problems - a club icon and more importantly, a right winger who could play in the centre, he was released just weeks before I arrived.
I was all set to go with a narrow 4-3-3 until I found him, at which point he was welcomed back immediately.
Why was a club icon and the only senior right winger released? Beats me, all I know is he'll be coming back to the starting XI.

The 3rd Haitian club, and no coincidence all 3 came from the Hatian Superstars team (who guess what, is a primarily Haitian team).
He lacks in a lot of areas, but beggars can't be choosers.

We aren't odds on to go down, I'll definitely take that.

Lastly, remember how I said the 8-game season would end within 2 months? Well I was wrong:

Yeah 4 games in just under 2 months, this is going to be weird.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Regular Season 2026/27

Did I ever mention how much I hate defending against 3 strikers?
Stuck 3 centrebacks with my own 3-4-3, but man for man our backline was completely unable to keep up and we got toyed with time after time.
Wood and Nerleus got sent off on their debuts, rather aptly given how the rest of the day went.

1st half, front 3 v back 3, got done again.
Jordan Da Costa hadn't scored in 20 matches (2 YEARS), bags a brace in this game.

It was then a wonder why they switched to 4-5-1 after the break, at which point we were able to revert to a more comfortable 4-4-2 and grab 2 goals to threaten a comeback.
A threat that all was though, as we failed to find the leveller.

Lyford Cay played a 4-4-1-1 thankfully, but that didn't stop Hepple tearing our defence a new one on the break to make it 1-0.
We hit back immediately, and went back to sitting back for our 1st point.

Great combination play saw us take the lead in a game for the 1st time this season.
We'd look good value for it too, defending just about enough while creating (and missing chances)... and then a lapse in concentration let them through to equalise.
Still, a point is a point, not that it mattered anyway since we were cast to the relegation playoffs by then.

Really bad stuff from us, but I can at least take solace in that both teams on bigger odd to go down did just as bad if not worse than us.
Still, we need serious work on both ends of the pitch if we're to stay up, especially with Lyford Cay being way too good to be in with us - they can tear us a new one on their day.

Playoffs are dealt with in under 4 weeks, and joy of joys our last 2 games are within 3 days of each other - do I play the B team and set up the barricades against Lyford, then play the strongest team against Western Warriors?
Decisions, decisions.

We've also signed a couple of guys:

Michael Joseph requested a transfer due to feuding with his manager, at Bears, and we swooped in to boost our ranks at CM.
Physically imposing and being sufficiently proficient everywhere else, he'll slot right in replacing Wood.

Another player from Haitian Superstars, Azea Mevril was released, and we picked him up on a youth contract.
Same deal, increasing CM numbers particularly among the youth ranks.

We'll end this on a bit of a downer:

Godspeed my legend, I'll probably never have another one like you, punching so far above your calibre.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Relegation Playoffs 2026/27

Tight win against COB who managed to be worse than us somehow.
Could've been more comfortable given our chances and the late penalty, but hey credit to the team for holding its nerve to the end.

We couldn't continue that defensive solidity against Superstars, but Palmer came in hot (and for the injured Dwayne Mareus) to save us a draw.
Ambrose was also ruled out for the rest of the playoffs due to concussion unfortunately.

We coped more than well enough though, with a great smash and grab against Lyford Cay.
Early goal and sitting back, that's the name of the game.

We finish the playoffs on a real high, a late late penalty won by Palmer and tucked away by Godet.

So Baha Jrs. lose the title (haha) and COB do go down after Lyford Cay scored their only points of an underwhelming playoffs to secure their own survival.
We finished unbeaten and best of the rest, pretty unthinkable at the end of the regular season wasn't it.

Season's not over yet though, we still have the Bahamas President's Cup to deal with:

Whoop, Round 1 against COB - now I'd say we have a good chance against a relegated side, but with the factor revenge on the table in addition to the cup format factor I'm not going to jinx myself with any expeciations.

We also had a new intake:

Jokes about the "GOlDeN GenERAtIoN" aside, we should have a look at Harvey Mullins:

SPEED (and set piece ability)
I look forward to playing him up top and watching him take revenge against Baha Jrs while I set up the barricades for their inevitable front 3.

Shemord Forbes is also a very good midfielder, and while he hasn't rendered Michael Joseph's signing pointless, he'll definitely play a part in the 1st team next season.

Tre Collie has incredible reflexes for his age, but that's also pretty much all he has as well.

Signed for his Professional mentality, Determination and versatility, Dwayne Massey still has a lot to improve on to make it into the big time.
I hope that the aforementioned qualities will lead him in that direction.

Travis Bode is a great finisher, but like Collie needs work. I don't doubt that he'll do bits in the U20s though.

These were the ones I've signed, I'll have to evaluate the rest while they're still at the club.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
End Of Season 2026/27

1st round went about as expected, and COB didn't put up too much of a fight.

Meeting a lower league side in Breezes Eagles prompted me to rest most of the squad who had just beaten COB 3 days before.
Nearly paid for it in classic fashion - couldn't finish, couldn't keep onside, scored a goal only to get pegged back almost immediately, then endure more than a few nervous moments.
We even missed 2 of our 1st 3 penalties, but we managed to pull through that, somehow.

In the semifinals Baha Jrs. await:

I look forward to playing him up top and watching him take revenge against Baha Jrs while I set up the barricades for their inevitable front 3.

What'd I tell you.
Granted it was off a pinball situation during a corner and he did spend the rest of the game a bag of nerves, but a 1st senior goal is a 1st senior goal, no taking that away from him.
Instead it was Palmer who did the hard running, and he came through with a goal of his own to add to the assist.
We did concede inevitably, but our shithouse tactics worked just about well enough.
In fact it was such a shithouse, I finished the game with this formation - beautiful isn't it.

On to the final:

GET IN, and a 2nd defensive performance for the President's Cup at the first time of asking.
Palmer came in hot yet again, as did Cenecharles who stopped Farquharson's penalty to keep us in the lead.
As favourites Nassau suffered with nerves the same way Baha did, and we underdogs managed to ride it through to the very end.

Magnificent effort from the players, pretty turgid football most of the time but hey, if it works it works.

Season Review

Players of the Season

Tre Christie - don't know why he left in the first place, and now that he's back the fan favourite has earned another PoTY gong.
Can't dribble, but he has speed and crossing ability, and he somehow managed 2 goals as well.

Dwayne Thompson Palmer was supposed to be a backup to Travis Godet, but common sense prevailed and his pace was used to devastating effect up top.
He's not clinical by any means, but when you're able to create so many chances for yourself you're bound to bundle in a few.

It's probably a consequence of the number of competitive games we have, but no one really stood out beyond them.
Till next season, ta
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Preseason 2027/28

Look at that disrespect to the Cup winners, shocking.

We'll be looking to add that that boost this season, thank you very much.

Well at least we've been given credit for our survival in the league, so there's that.

We've also signed a couple players over the break:

Paul Chanlatte is a current U20 international for Haiti, so he can't be all that bad right?
And he's really not bad either, decent speed complemented with some aerial ability.
He'll still be second fiddle to Tre Christie of course.

I'd realised too late that I hadn't signed enough centrebacks from last year's youth intake and I'd loaded out another prospect, so I was left with only 1 for the youth team.
In comes Gavin Thompson on loan from Lyford Cay, in a move that I've been given plenty of stick from the fans for.
You can see why too, he's not actually 1st team ability and would only make it there if he's our last resort.

Another unbeaten preseason, with our only draws coming against Lyford Cay and Boca - the latter was a bit of a worry, seeing how we weren't able to break down inferior sides, though it was a second string side that played...

But with more than a few sides deploying that ridiculous 3-striker formation, and yet others who are just better really - one of them being Nassau, our opponents for the Charity Shield incidentally:

Get in! Hardly a vintage performance, but I'll be damned if we care when it's resulted in another trophy in the cabinet.
Another penalty shootout where we held our nerves better, which can't hurt.

Looks like a pretty decent group - only 2 of last season's championship playoff sides in here, along with newly promoted Dynamos.
Better yet, we've managed to avoid Lyford Cay and that accursed Baha Jrs. front 3.

Then again... Superstars are the bookies' title favourites, and with Nassau being higher rated than us that's 2 title favourites in or group.
Add to that a Dynamos team that isn't an automatic favourite to go down and Bears (who despite being 2nd favourite for relegation still did qualify for the Championship Playoffs last season, and deploy that mad 4-3-3 as well).
Will be interesting, but there's no doubt I was feeling much better about my group before I saw those odds.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Regular Season 2027/28

We dominated the game, got only 1 goal for it, but most importantly also secured the 3 points in an opening day win (finally too, apparently - last time the team won an opening game was 7 seasons ago).

Well that was a real downer.
Ryan Christie got us started with a great right-footed shot, but we got pegged back immediately with a similar (arguably better) effort.
Then we shot ourselves in the foot with 2 penalties conceded, absolutely terrible tackling undoing what was otherwise sound defending.

This game had terrible defending of the more conventional sense, though we gave away a 3rd penalty in 2 games for the opener.
We equalised before the interval, but Mullins got himself sent off as if we didn't have enough on our plates.
So massive credit to the team for fighting back after then going behind twice more in the 2nd half, before we take some of that credit away for their awful defending throughout the game.

No Mullins? No problem - he was not on form anyway and it was a good excuse to drop him really:
But Kevin Barry proved to be a more than capable stand-in, playing the Poacher perfectly with 2 goals against Nassau.
Roche-Nerelus conceded his 2nd straight penalty (and our 4th in 3 games incredibly), but luckily for us the bar came to the rescue, setting the scene for a vital win.

Our group was the tighter one be some distance, with Superstars blowing a 2 goal lead against Bears to draw and send themselves into the relegation playoffs, whereas we recovered from a horrific bump in the middle to finish top.
Lyford Cay did a number on their group, and with Future Stars also unexpectedly winning their other 3 games, they could well prove to be bloodthirsty opposition.

Lastly, some transfer news:

Mareus wasn't bad, but with better and younger players he wasn't and wouldn't be starting games going forward, so more power to him for going for game time.
Chanlatte would be decent replacement cover on the right flank anyway.

Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Championship Playoffs 2027/28

Well that's a terrible start for our playoff campaign.
We prioritised stifling their front 3 again but couldn't get our own attack going, and while we did keep their attack quiet in open play we then let all that go to waste with the winner conceded off a corner.

2 games against the weaker sides in the playoffs, and only 1 point to show for it.
I'd mistakenly rested the 1st-choice backline in view of another game 2 days later (it was five days) and paid dearly for it, if it wasn't for Kevin Barry bailing us out again.
But we've found ourselves in needing to win both our remaining games to even have a sniff of the title, against Lyford Cay and Nassau no less.

Well we've put paid to that ourselves, losing to the 10 men of Nassau after going ahead and having 2 penalties.

At least we've ended the league on a high of sorts, showing some steel to beat Lyford Cay.

Well there's always next year for us eh, as if we've got any other choice.
At least I can boast of being the only team to beat Nassau this season.

On a lighter note, we've welcomed our next batch of youths:

Valin Adderley is the star of this intake, and will in all likelihood be the crown jewel of our midfield next season, and while Carlton Forbes is some way off Valin's ability, a left-footed forward is always welcome.
I haven't signed all of the others, but having learned from my mistakes of last season I've definitely put pen to paper for some of the defenders, if only for squad padding.


I doubt this'll affect me really, we've got 800k in the back at the moment, and aside from a couple of upgrades (youth recruitment and facilities, one each) it's not been dented significantly.
That is if he doesn't sack me and brings in his own guy like he's some sort of Big-time Charlie who'll get his team relegated with his ego.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
End of Season 2027/28

Given how our league campaign ended with a whimper, it was only apt that our Cup ended in similar fashion.
1st XI, proactive mentality, all the works against a relegated team, and we go out on penalties - par for the course then.

Season Review

Players of the Season
Ryan Christie was a worthy PoTY, being our top assister and doing real bits down the left.
Unfortunately he's nearing what seems to be the peak of his abilities - not that I'd let him go or anything though, if nothing else I do have experience with deceptively incompetent left-wingers.
Tre Christie being Tre Christie, doing bits down the opposite flank.
He's already at his prime, so I'll just manage my expectations with him and rejoice at anything extraordinary.
Kevin Barry was our breakout striker of the season, carrying us on many an occasion.
Given the sheer amount of talent we've got at the club though, I'm inclined to give him guaranteed game time with a loan for next season.

Thompson Palmer and Mullins really dropped the ball this season, though as they are still teenagers we're bound t encounter more than a few teething problems.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Preseason 2028/29

We'll start with the conclusion to the takeover 'saga':

Well.... How can I summarize this:

Good - I'm not sacked
Bad - They rejected my request for new facilities
Good -

They're basically Ed Woodwards
Bad - They've rejected my request for improved youth coaching
Good -

They're sending me to a new coaching course - Continental License in the Bahamas WHOOP

Preseason featured the introduction of 2 new formations: 4-2-3-1 and 4-1-2-1-2 to complement the ol' faithful 4-4-2, which unfortunately can't open teams up as well as I need it to. Both formations are also a clear sign that I'm banking on my newfound wealth of talent in the AMC area - we've come a long way from having no centre mids in the squad.

The friendlies highlighted a few teething problems as we failed to convert our control of games to goals a times - either beatdowns or draws across the 8 games, no tight wins that we could've done with.

A few transfers as well:

Michael Joseph agreed to a non-contract deal at the end of last season; fast forward a couple of months and he's gone to Baha Jrs and another part-time deal.
Meh, he was certainly important when he was one of our only centre mids around, but his technical ability is severely lacking for a starter of his age - might as well develop a youth player.
Johnson Mareus wasn't going to start over Ambroise and Sean Mareus last season, and was loaned out to Future Stars last year.
Same scenario this time round, so he goes again, hopefully troubling fellow title challengers for us.

Durand was a veteran of Superstars but left of Bears last season, but quickly found himself surplus there.
I had signed him to be a good tutor, but with our short league season he wasn't allowed to, for some reason.
No matter, despite his lack of speed he's sufficiently versatile to be an important part of the squad.

So that's another pair of shithouse front 3 teams in our group, so annoying.
I hope we'll be able to fight fire with fire and unleash our AMCs against (what I hope will be) their soft underbellies.

We find ourselves 3rd favourites this season, which if Superstars' struggles continue makes us the prime challengers to Nassau - no pressure then.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Regular Season 2028/29

26 shots and only 3 on target speaks for itself, not to mention the 3 times as struck the woodwork.
That said we probably won't ever be as comfortable against Lyford Cay, and that we eventually did score for the win was the icing on the cake.

We finally turn on the style, and Palmer finally finds his scoring boots after a season and a bit of awful finishing.

How the tables turn - from being dicked for 6 2 seasons ago, to completely dominating and likely condemning Baha Jrs to another season in the relegation playoffs. (Yeah I'm a bit salty)
Moment of the match was definitely Tre Christie's howitzer in stoppage time.

Unfortunately, it's not all good:

Guess who broke his ankle? Ex-Cavalier Michael Joseph - twat.

I could beat 1 shithouse front 3, but not both.
I tried to get a grip on their 4-3-3 with our 4-1-2-1-2, but despite our early lead we weren't able to wrestle control of the game.
Eventually they made their control count and equalised after Ryan Christie conceded the penalty.
After that we were always on the back foot, and once the 2nd and 3rd goals went it we were done.

Thankfully Lyford Cay then gave Bears a wake-up call to demonstrate to the rest of us that the latter weren't unbeatable.
Nassau though, they ripped another one in their group, and with 12 straight wins in all competitions going back to last season they'll be the Goliath yet again.
COB just about scraped through to join the championship playoffs.

We get an immediate chance for revenge against Bears, this time at home.
Not exactly ideal that the Nassau and Lyford Cay games are away, but we'll deal with it the best we can I suppose.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Playoffs 2028/29

Oooooo revenge is sweet - dominated them at home, and aside from the (admittedly frequent) counterattacks we weren't looking like relinquishing the lead, even if it took us a bit late to add some gloss to the scoreline.
Could've done without another midfielder's injury though, Adderley out of the playoffs with a twisted ankle.

YES GET IN - this was the beast we needed to slay if we wanted a title win.
We were under the cosh for much of the game, but we proved to be the more clinical finishers on the day - Mullins with 2 great finishes.
On a related note, the midfield injuries have turned into something of a blessing apparently - I decided to remove Thompson Palmer from being meh up top to being serviceable in CM.
And Kevin Barry has proven his worth yet again, becoming the line leader with the requisite finishing ability.
(Though I'd appreciate it if the injuries could stop - Travis Godet with concussion to add to Carlton Forbes' and Encuma Wood's knocks in training)

We were well in control away to Lyford Cay, but up top we were found lacking, Mullins being a main culprit.
So he was hauled off for a still half-fit Carlton Forbes, and well I never - a vital opener despite being at sub-80% fitness.
Barry finished them off after a fast break, and we've got one hand on the title.

Well that's both hands on the trophy now, after Nassau failed to beat Lyford Cay - GET IN

We finished off in style, Barry yet again repaying the faith shown in him with a brace.

So that's the Bahamas done, and in some style - 22 goals scored in 8 games, with only 6 conceded and 6 clean sheets.
Particularly impressive was only 2 let in in the Playoffs, we really turned it up to 11 here.

All that's left now is the small matter of the President's Cup:

Winning this is the preequisite - it's about the number of goals we score.
Well I say that, having won the Cup already I couldn't care less if we crashed out at the first hurdle again.

We also had a new intake of youths:

Well it can't compare to the quality of the 1st batch or the volume of the 2nd, but it's still got some potential.
These are the 4 I've signed, all with good fundamentals that just need a bit of polishing - Ryan Bethel's my personal favourite since he provides yet more cover for the AMC positions.
6 years ago
1 week ago
I hate Nassau. Just saying.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
I hate Nassau. Just saying.

Haha why? I mean yeah, they're top dogs and all, but at least we did one over them already.


End of Season 2028/29

As expected, we dominated the game and came away with 2 goals.

Another (relatively) easy draw against nearly-relegated Dynamos, and just as comfortable.

This game was reminiscent of our season opener - 18 shots but only 2 on target.
However, instead of holding on to the goal to nil we were actually punished this time.
Thankfully the punishment wasn't to its fullest extent as we saw off yet another victorious penalty shootout.

It was a bizarre repeat of last year's cup final, as the league champions faced off against the relegated team again (Nassau beat Western Warriors last season).
Unfortunately for him, Johnson Mareus was ineligible due to the terms of the loan and couldn't face his parent club - sorry my G.
As far as the game was concerned, it was about as easy as it could get - 63% possession, 23 shots, and 3 goals to show for our efforts.

Can't think of a better way to end my stint at the club, with a domestic double.

Future Stars commendably bounced back from their relegation to put in a fairytale run, so you know, apologies for being the party pooper.

Season Review

(I don't know what they were smoking, but playing Mullins and Forbes as wrong-footed wingers in a 4-4-2 is just wrong)

Players of the Season
Roche-Nerelus always had the physical ability to dominate the right flank by himself, but this season he was unleashed and boy did he he show it.
4 assists in 8 league games, average rating of 7.86, a mainstay of our backline, what's there to complain about really.
Forbes wasn't initally slated to be a starter due to his somewhat suspect technical ability, but a left footed attacking mid with good speed? I'm in.
And he was another one who didn't disappoint, coming off the bench to grab crucial openers and earning himself 2 MotMs in the process.
Barry has done it again - sidelined at the start of the season, he got himself back into the starting XI and became our top scorer for the 2nd straight season.
Nothing much has changed about him, but it's his already present scoring ability that enabled him to lead the line as he did with great success last year.
To be honest I don't get how Christie managed to come in 2nd in the PotY vote - like Roche-Nerelus he benefited greatly from the freedom granted to the fullbacks, but unlike the latter he can't actually defend, conceding a penalty against Bears.
Well I suppose I have to give credit where it's due, he also provided a great threat out wide, and was rewarded with an assist and goal each.
Mullins (and Thompson Palmer for that matter) isn't a striker - he doesn't have the finishing ability to be the prime converter of chances, and he needs space to run into to make the most of his biggest strength - speed.
Having realised that, I played him as a Shadow Striker, and we never looked back - a goal/assist a game-ratio is a decent return, and if he stays he'll be able to lead the club for the next 2 decades easily.


So there's that for the Bahamas then, a couple of contract renewals for the players and it'll be my own resignation afterwards.

That said there aren't many teams to choose from - well I say that, literally only 1 club team has a vacancy, hmm...
9 years ago
1 hour ago
Very nicely done!
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago

Haha, thanks man!


Off Season 2029/30

A final hurrah for us before we go our separate ways.

And I have departed indeed.
Absolute hilarity that the club could come back begging for me though

Loyal ones, though if previous staff were of any indicator they probably won't want to join me in another country, let alone another continent.

As time passed the job list became bigger, though this time I've decided to not whore myself out as much and stopped at the 1st two that were available.

One of them did get back to me;

And that's that really.

They've recently been promoted again, having been a yo-yo club for the past 4 seasons.
As an amateur club they've inevitably been stocking up on players, which has led to me having to find my way through 55 first-team players - not even during the days of Latinos (where my Chairman signing youth players for fun) have I encountered this excess.

As usual, an assman will be needed for easier evaluations as I look at who I can rely on.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Preseason 2029/30

So, Gaadiika:

There's next to nothing about them online, other than they're a Somalian club - well if nothing else I can at least provide some insight on the players that we have:

This is the best 24 or so players at the club - I know assistant managers aren't necessarily the best gauge of talent sometimes, but the top 10 are all defenders hmmm...
Mola Yussuf and Radjabu Abdi are our best rated players and goalkeepers - as good as Abdi is with his overall physical ability, Yussuf quite simply makes more sense as a at least a reliable goalkeeper.
They are followed by a corps of similarly dodgy centrebacks, as well as 2 pairs of fullbacks.
A few of them annoyingly have the Tight Marking trait despite possessing neither the marking ability or concentration to pull that off.
I think I've sorted my centreback pairing for the season, but with this group it's going to be a toss up anyway.
Enough with the defence anyway, Fahad Ismail and Hibaaq Yussuf will be our 1st choice midfield pair (well when Ismail arrives at the club in November anyway).
Ismail has something closest to a pedigree, having started his career at Sheffield United before returning to Somalia with Elman in 2017. He's not really good, but I'm banking on getting him as a coach when he's ready/willing.
Yussuf was transfer listed when I arrived, and granted he's not much good either but at least he can pass with both feet.
Strikers are a toss up, but I'm looking to count on Mohammed Aweys as our target man. Good team player with good aerial ability, though his game is stifled with that horrific ball control, which will be magnified with his traits - I'll be looking to get rid of them at the earliest opportunity.

We end with the worst-rated player in the team:
A remarkable oddity, Shirwa Ahmed played for Elverum in Norway before signing for Gaadiika in 2019, where he's only played 1 competitive game since. Basically unbeatable from the spot with his Composure and Penalties, he'll be an excellent late sub for us for penalties or chasing a goal, though his lack of any physical presence means he won't be starting games.
To add to his woes, a Google search of his name returns a namesake, the "second known American suicide bomber", and no actual information of the footballer at all.
Still, he's not the worst player in the team, so swings and roundabouts.

So let's end with the actual worst player in the team:
How this man has 4 caps for Somalia is baffling, he's literally got more caps than goals in his career!

Evaluation of the team was done through preseason, which went well enough considering we went unbeaten, a highlight being the game against Somalian champions Heegan, where we came back from 2 goals down.

Finally, unlike the other countries I've been in so far, we get the Cup out of the way first:

Bariga Dhexe and Alba are lower league sides (the former having been relegated last season), while Banaadir are title favourites, so we should be looking at 2nd place as a minimum.

Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Somalie Cup 2029/30

Well, yikes.
A game against last season's relegated team and we were comfortably outplayed.
Admittedly I'd set the team up to play on the counter (in anticipation of getting beaten in the league, so I did call it in a way) but we never looked like scoring a goal.
So it's just a matter of when we'd crack, and we did unfortunately.

Game 2 was copy and paste, except against lower league mainstays Alba.
At least we scored here eh.

Funny how our only clean sheet came against Somali giants Banaadir - I suppose all that sitting back would work once in a while.

Well that was a wake-up call and a half, our strikers need to stop being useless if we're going to stay up.

And that was pretty much it at Gaadiika, until the league starts in a month or so anyway...

And I'd end it there, had it not been for a bolt out of the blue:

Hmm... I'd applied for the job, I think after I left Latinos? It was for shits and giggles really, didn't expect them to get back to me, not to mention after what, 5 years?

Ok so they've got the Pacific Mini Games coming up, cool:

Of the four only Guam is a FIFA-affiliated national team, so I'd automatically make them favourites.
Kiribati also only has 1 player that's not greyed-out, so I'd definitely expect to beat them at the very least - at least the other 3 of us have some semblance of a national pool to choose from.

Finally, let's just take a look at where both my teams are based:,+Somalia/Saipan,+CNMI/@8.199504,77.1698451,4z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m13!4m12!1m5!1m1!1s0x3d58425955ce6b53:0xbb20eaaa52cc59d9!2m2!1d45.3181623!2d2.0469343!1m5!1m1!1s0x66d8b0ca8db5aac7:0x916f06076a050b76!2m2!1d145.7550616!2d15.2193638

It's not quite halfway round the world, but having to cross the Asian continent is quite something in itself.
Makes you wonder what the transits will be like, maybe 3 or 4? I don't think there's an airport in the world that would have flights to both Somalia and the Northern Marianas.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
"Midseason" 2029/30

First stop was international duty with the Northern Marianas, with a couple of friendlies to gear ourselves up for the Pacific Mini Games.

Not an encouraging 1st game, losing to Eritrea with our wide 4-3-3 being worryingly ineffective.
Bhutan was about to go the same way, but a deal with the devil and shifting to the accursed narrow 4-3-3 gave us a late win.
Our last game went about the same way, which kinda reinforced the fact that the best form of attack is well, throwing all our strikers on.

Well not every time - it's Guam, we still had to play on the break, and play we did.
Opener from a fast break + a set-piece goal - smash and grab baby.

Also, Chloe Paul is a 30-year old winning his 9th cap - he scored his first 4 national team goals.

That Micronesia shitshow put an absolute dent on our hope of finishing top spot and qualifying for the knockouts - we needed Guam to beat them, but only by 2 goals tops.
Well at least we had the weakest team in the group in Kiribati, who didn't even bother calling up their only actual player.
Despite facing a fellow 4-3-3, we were at least best them, albeit being less than convincing.

Well Guam did do us the favour, though they overdid it way too much with a 6-2 win.

So that's that for our 1st tourney with the Northern Marianas, we were expected to get thrashed pre-tournament but the Micronesia game aside, we did pretty well.
Going forward and looking at our national pool as a whole, I'll probably have to double down on the overload and go with a 3-4-3, making use of our strikers and (lack of) fullbacks.

Back to Gaadiika:

Well I never, an unbeaten start! The bog standard long ball 4-4-2 has worked like a charm so far.

There's really only 1 standout in this half season:

Juma Getamesay has proven yet again that pace and height is all you need at this level, 9 goals in 2 games obviously proving the statpadding, but overall he's been our primary outlet for those long balls.

Still top, but with Banaadir rising back up to challenge after a poor start to the season we'll be in for some trouble for the rest of the season.

A quick word of appreciation for the fixture boffins as well, beautiful a-game-a-week scheduling, much welcome after the fixture pileups I've had to deal with previously.

We've also welcomed our new youth intake (rather unusually at the midway point of the season, but I'll take what I can get):

Olad Arab already has good technicals for his age, not sure if I'm tearing up a settled midfield after such a good start to the season though, maybe the 2 week break will givs us opportunities to rejig the setup.

The rest of them would most likely be sign to prop up what was a non-existent youth squad - I might pay for it with a bloated squad in the long term, but hey, as the say I'm here for a good time not a long time.

A couple of signings were also made to shore up the aforementioned dearth of youth, with one standout as well:

Andargachew Kadir fell out with Dekedaha for some reason, and was released.
I couldn't say no to his apparent star rating, but again, with our settled midfield he'll be cutting his teeth with the U20s for now.
Olad Arab's emergence might have dented the significance of Kadir at the club, but I'm sure we'll work things out.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
End of Season 2029/30

Way to crash the season eh.
Right as we started the 2nd half of the campaign, boom a thrashing at the hands of a midtable Sahafi. What followed were 2 more defeats at the hands of title challengers Banaadir and Heegan.
We gathered ourselves for a couple of results the next 2 games, but any hopes of a title were definitely gone with the loss to Waxool.
3 straight wins helped to end the season on a good note, and prevented us from sinking into midtable irrelevance.

We deserved to win the title based on our form in the 1st half of the season, but on a similar note 3 straight losses in that fashion was asking for relegation if we didn't have that buffer.
All things considered... For a 1st season where we were expected to go back down? I'll take it.

Season Review

So yes, overperformance with a (let's be honest here) terrible squad, and some more cash coming in - can't complain.

Players of the Season
Juma Getamesay is clearly our PoTY, even if half his tally came in just 2 matches.
It's a tried and tested formula really, stick a guy with pace and jumping ability up top and you'll get goals - elementary.
His partner in crime when neither was injured, Mohamed Aweys but be a seriously limited player but what he can do he does pretty well - a bruiser who's able and willing to play the target man role. Does need to cut the stupid traits though, baffling how he convinced himself he could do either of those.
Shock and horror as our next best pair are wingers - straight out the Latinos playbook.
Dawit David and Halgan Askari were 1st choice wingers throughout the season, and I wasn't in a hurry to drop them looking at their form.

Next season they might see less game time though, as I look to take advantage of our newfound talents in the centre and play a more possession-based game.

So that's the 1st season with Gaadiika completed, and we finish off with a single friendly with the Northerrn Marianas:

Went all in a 3-4-3 and played with 3 very capable strikers, still only 1 goal against (an admittedly higher-ranked) Brunei.
Oh well, seeing as our next games include the East Asian Cup preliminary qualifiers against superior opposition I'm better off going back to the playing on the break that yielded much success previously.

I'm also considering loading the Northern Marianas league system (2 tiers incredibly) to give myself some more scouting opportunities and a bigger pool of players to choose from.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Preseason 2030/31

Preseason this time round was a mixed bag, as we tried alternatives to last season's 4-4-2, which was really effective in playing on the break but was found wanting when trying to break defences down.
The priority was to take advantage of the sudden emergence of quality in the centre (Kadir and Olad Arab are both dead cert starters despite being well under 20) we went with a 4-1-2-1-2 and 3-4-1-2. The 3-4-1-2 came through as the preferred formation, due to 1) having a number of passable centrebacks; 2) having virtually no passable rightbacks; and 3) Halgan Asari and Dawit David - dropping my winger pair should never have been on the agenda tbh.

Only 1 signing was made this window:

Ali Essa returns to his first club, where he was whisked away before making his debut.
Already our quickest fullback, though that's nothing to write home about.

We started off with a 2nd hack at the Somalie Cup:

The 3-4-1-2 was deployed to devastating effect, with 11 goals put past in our 1st 2 games. Frustrating not to keep clean sheets in either game though.
Having qualified for the knockout rounds I rotated the team, and proceeded to play dearly for it against newly promoted Horseed.

Bit of a disappointment that we couldn't qualify top after our start, but at least we made it out at all this time.

Business as usual in the quarters, though we did ride our luck with their early penalty miss.
Nothing lucky about Ismail's opener though, a howitzer of a volley from outside the box - that set the scene for an eventually comfortable win.

Time for vengeance against Horseed, though they sure as hell weren't going to roll over - they scored mad early and hadn't it been for our strike pair's best efforts, we'dve been down and out.
So penalties it was, no better time to bring on the supposed penalty specialist Shirwa Ahmed for this specific occasion - what does he do? Miss his spot kick smh

Oh and if you were wondering how their penalties went:

That's what you get for being more interested in collecting cards than playing football.

Banaadir in the final, and we rightly reverted to our hoofball 4-4-2.
Worked like a charm, Getamesay doing what he does best and bagging the winner.
Nothing much else to report really, other than our bus parking.

But as if I care about turgid games, we've won the Somalie Cup! Hell of an achievement considering we couldn't even make it out of the group stages last season.

It does provide me with plenty of optimism ahead of the league campaign, even if the bookies continue to have us nailed on to go down.

Away from Gaadiika, we also had the East Asian Cup qualifiers' Preliminary round robin:

You know it's some bottom of the barrel quality when it's a qualification on the qualification.
And even then our opponents were comfortably better than us, so it was back to the 4-3-3 wide.
It started well enough when Jeffrey opened the scoring against Macau, but unfortunately we couldn't hold out for even a point.
Guam were Guam, and it was a similar story against Mongolia with the early goal and inability to hold on for 3 points.

So we finished bottom, not unexpected but I do wonder if we could've come with a more positive game plan.

Had a series of friendlies as well, and we were promptly dicked by every one of them.
Players' outlooks are still very positive, but heaven knows we need to play someone our own size if only to get that winning feeling back again.

Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
Midseason 2030/31

A far less convincing start compared to last season, as I (rather naively) persisted with the 3-5-2 that had served us well in the cup, despite significant absences to Andargachew Kadir and Juma Getamesay.
Despite playing most of our supposed best-equipped position with a back 3 we only managed a single clean sheet in 9, which doesn't bode well at the best of times.

Bottom half, but not the end of the world with our buffer from the drop zone, and with time for me to pull my finger out my arse and revert to the trusty 4-4-2.

Couple of transfers -spoiler alert, not good ones:

Yep Kadir's gone; Banaadir offered him a part-time contract, we'll probably never be able to offer a player any more than non-contract terms, and that was that.
Left back Omar Abukar also left but I'm not as fussed about that.

A panic buy on a free, scouted him quick and got him the moment I saw his Technique.
Turns out it doesn't matter if you've got technique if the rest of your game is utter gash - got pace but no acceleration so he couldn't latch on to balls like Getamesay when the latter was out, and without good ball control or passing ability he was useless in the centre as well.

Like his personality, like his stamina - will he rise above and make the LB spot his own, or languish in the squad as a non-playing schmuck? Only time (and my capacity to remember his existence) will tell.
Eric Portapotty
13 years ago
2 weeks ago
End of Season 2030/31

Only 1 loss in 9 sounds real good, until you realise we also drew 5 and effectively came away with only 4 wins.
All in all a very 'meh' end to another season.

Our final league position reflects that, well clear of relegation but nothing to write home about.
And obviously Banaadir won the title, Andargachew Kadir inevitably making the right choice after all.

Season Review

No... No, Tony Abdi was a mistake.
Other than that due to our squad apparently being still one of the worst we're again the overachievers of the season - certainly didn't feel like it.

Players of the Season

Juma OP pls nerf
Honestly, while he's not title-winning material, Juma has somehow more than proven his pedigree in the league - another top scorer gong, breaking the seasonal goal record, it's becoming too easy for him.

Juma was helped very ably by Dawit David, who also broke his own assist record.

You'd know by now that a pattern has emerged here - 2 wingers supplying 2 strikers harking back to the Latinos days.
Same here, Askari not doing as much as David, but doing more than enough.

Last piece of our foursome, Aweys is still the targetman and perfect foil for Juma, and with 6 goals and assists each he's also more than just a battering ram.


To end off the season, a new youth intake:

No, not a Golden Generation - only 3 picks from this crop:

Ciise Essa has zero defensive nous, but being able(and willing) to run around for 90 minutes is never a bad thing.

Only signed Tony Abdillahi for the personality, though even that doesn't seem like much seeing how little he'll probably end up offering to the team.
EDIT: Yikes, turns out I'd forgotten to actually offer him a contract... Well it is what it is I suppose.

I wasn't planning to sign Hido Ali due to his Unambitious nature, but you really can't say no to that physicality and work rate.
In fact I'm looking to start him from the off next season, being the lanky destroyer in front of the back line.
Will it work? Probably not, but I'll definitely have to give it a go regardless.


Basically the only way to beat Banaadir imo, just get a true Golden Generation and blow them off the park.

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