Mr Willy - Comments

You're going to get AIDs and die.

That's the one that Tim Howard wore when he scored against either Wigan or Bolton.

Are Blackburn still second tier?

Just looks a little empty, and the badges are too high.

Looks silly without the sponsor logo.

Or perhaps Mr Mothballs is just KM.

I get this old bastard, comes in about once a week. He can't walk properly, so I offer to fetch a couple of papers for him. He doesn't say thank-you, and has a go if we're out of a particular paper. Miserable cunt. Then he tries to pay for his fags with a cheque. I don't think convenience stores have ever accepted cheque.

I doubt that you can, but it's unlikely that a minimum wage sales assistant will know the law on unfair dismissal, or probably lack the wherewithal to go for it. I do agree though that English employment law is pretty screwed. If only trade unions existed to represent the interests of their members, not campaign against the government all the time, and co-operate with employers more. A more of a social democratic/social market approach, that's beneficial to both the employee and employer.

Sorry to moan about work, again, but the thing that gets me about my company is our upselling strategy. As a minimum expectation, you've got to offer the latest special item placed on the counter to every customer, usually a chocolate bar for £1.50. If you fail to do so, even if you've served the same goddamn customer earlier that day, you're summoned to a meeting with your area manager. Usually though, these "meetings" are held the next day in some store a hundred miles away and you don't get transported arranged, so they sack you for not showing up. It's just a trick to get you sacked.

McColl's are brilliant. Coca-Cola 500ml - 2 for £2. Or, Coca-Cola 1.25 Litres - 2 for £2. You can get an extra 2 litres of Coke for your money, yet customers still buy the smaller bottles. The most irritating thing is our meal deal, when customers think every drink is part of the offer. Cretins.

I'd probably ask you to pay the right amount or leave. Legally, of course, the company can choose to adjust the price but I'm not specifically authorised to do that, unless I'm marking an item's price down because of best before date, or if a multipack is missing a can of beer or whatever. Not even managers are allowed to adjust prices on their own discretion, they get sacked for that. One manager put the price of his fags down, manually, to remain competitive with the shop down the road and was sacked for it.

I hate, absolutely hate, working at a village shop. Everyone has a bloated sense of entitlement because they view it as their shop, as a community-run shop. Actually, no, it's owned-and-operated by Martin McColl, one of the country's biggest convenience retailers, and a profit-making company. The number of people who think they can get away with being short by 50p for their goods and make good the shortage is quite tiring. I'm not putting my job on the line for their inability to bring the right change along.

Mr Philip Hollobone. No, it won't pass.

THIS. If only union bosses didn't piss it up with Marxist entryism in the 60s and 70s.

While I appreciate the mention, I'm sure my D in A-Level Law doesn't make me an expert. I think terriesmad guy actually has legal experience, but either way, look at your contract Deano, if there's something about notices you might have a case. If your boss owns the business and then is closing it down, surely he would need to do that properly before sacking everyone.

Kaka's involved with the Catholic Church so probably involved somewhere along in the line in naughty business.

Wasn't Pele a mascot of Viagra? What is it with these kinky Brazilian football stars?

The schedule will be tampered with a lot, no doubt. It'll be interesting to see who broadcasters want, given that BT have 18 first-choice matches.

Or cars catching fire then rolling down a hill, omnishambles grand prix.

A drunk guy in the shop was asking if I liked Phil Collins earlier, I was shitting myself, having watched American Psycho at 3 in the morning recently.

Working in a village convenience store, fucking hell. Once the other shop closes, it goes manic on days like this, with people buying their wine and cider mostly. Had to refill the alcohol about three times in four hours, and the ice creams about twice. There were people banging on the door a good fifteen minutes after closing time as we were cashing the tills up, people were desperate for some reason.

She fucked someone on The Apprentice. Her crowning moment was her appearance of 10 O'Clock Live, defending the legacy of Margaret Thatcher, though I don't think Thatcher would really want her defence...

I figured out that my Xbox 360 was underneath the heater and when I turn it on, it made the controller wobble, which makes it dislodge slightly from the USB in my laptop. Freaked me out.

When I turn the electric heater on, my laptop pings. This is the freakiest thing ever, and I can't find any explanation for it. They are two completely separate entities, they're plugged into the same sockets but that's it. How does my laptop know my heater's on?! Nightmares.

The font colours are wrong. "It will just" should be in black, and "kill babies" in red.

Fucking hate some anti-abortion activists, they really don't endear themselves to their cause. I bit like greens/environmentalists, they piss me off sometimes. An occasional spray of deodorant won't kill the ozone layer but if you don't stink, I might listen to you.

I love how in Australia, you can just oust your prime minister in 24 hours, even if you're in the same party. Imagine that in the UK, hasn't really happened since Thatcher.

KM is right about Maxthon though, it's quite a nice little browser. It's a little rough around the edges but can't fault it.

Isn't a contrarian essentially the same as a troll? Either way, Fantastic's right here. Mandela committed real crimes, against real laws, and was imprisoned for them. However, it fast become obvious that Mandela's incarceration was politically-motivated, and that the ANC felt compelled to resort to violence for a fighting chance of equality, against a government that held all the cards.

When Mandela dies, you'll see all the Conservatives who supported his continued imprisonment (or hanging) sending their commiserations and condolences to South Africa just as much as everyone else, and only the silly ones will dig into Mandela's terrorism.

I'd fuck the girls on EastEnders, the under-25s. I'd ruin them, especially the one banging her cousin.

Replaced my shitty HP for a shiny new Acer laptop. Loaded up fine, the fonts aren't as shit and it's a better processor/RAM/HDD anyway. A big problem I've encountered though is the speed at which it loads webpages. I've got a good, high-speed internet connection able to stream live HD video, which I did on my old shittier Samsung. Initially, it was good at web browsing, but today it's been atrocious. I couldn't load a webpage on any browser earlier, now it can just about muddle through on Internet Explorer, taking about five minutes to load up text, but Firefox and Chrome are both unusable.

My internet isn't down, because it runs brilliantly on my mum's iPad and my brother's Kindle. I've tried turning it off and on again plenty of times. For the record, I downloaded and installed F1 2012 off Steam, which worked fine, so it's only my browsers that are fucked. I haven't got any viruses either, it's literally straight out the box. I've Googled it, but damn is it hard to find a tech solution relating to W8, given so many people are having problems with it, and everyone's problems are so varied.