The Flying Scotsman. Chapter 3 - The new manager effect

There was no cooling off period from signing the 6 month deal with Hollviken, and it wasn’t long, 2 days to be precise, before Jocks debut match as a football manager. IK Oddevold were the opponents and favorites for the game.

Due to there only being 16 players at the club he could only name 5 from 7 subs on the bench for this first game. 4-4-2 with the idea of playing safe, not being stupid and trying desperately to get something, anything from the game

As nervy a start as possible for Jocks side as they let possession go cheaply a number of times, but Oddevold weren’t too interested in doing much with it, and Hammer (Great name) in the Hollviken goal didn’t have much to do.

4 minutes in and the game turned. Pettersson fouling Ingves inside the box giving the referee the easiest decision he’d have to make that day, and the penalty was given

Jock could be forgiven that Ingves, who was fouled might baulk at the responsibility, but he didn’t and stepped up with the confidence of a player that had scored a few already. Truth was the team had only scored 12 and conceded 23 up to that point. But he stepped up, sent the keeper the wrong way. 1-0 to Jocks new team

Half time came with both teams not troubling the other much from the goal. Hollviken still in the lead, Jocks words at half time were short and sweet. ‘Keep doing what you’re doing’ and they did for the most part.

Eventually though the teams defensive frailties came though as they conceded a soft goal in the 70th minute. A tame effort from just inside the area clipped Malms left leg on the way to goal which wrong footed The Hammer and drew the teams level.

The score didn’t stay 1 each for long as right away from kick off Hollviken heeded their managers screams as they went right for it with long ball anti-football that paid off.

Persson found his way on to the end of 1 long ball and tapped it under the onrushing Oddevold keeper to give Hollviken an unlikely, albeit well deserved 2-1 advantage heading into the final 15

A red card deep into added time for Oddevold pretty much summed up their afternoon, as they went down 2-1 to a hard working Hollviken side

3 days later and Hollviken again are 3 points better off. An away time at Husqvarna saw Jocks new team come away with a 1-0 victory. Whilborg this time finding the net from another long ball, much like the winning goal in the first game.

After that second game Jocks words to the players was nothing but encouragement

‘After these 2 games it’s clear to me that you just needed me to come in, and give you lads the confidence you needed that was so very obviously missing’

He couldn’t think of much else to tell the boys, other than 'I think we’re going to survive relegation', and the poor twats are acting like they believe him

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The Flying Scotsman chapter 2 - It's a new beginning

He had sat outside the chairman’s office, listening intently.

‘Him?’ The man outside overheard the bald guy that smells of helicopter fumes and 2 day old Chinese takeaway say

No one really knew, not least the man himself, as he made his way down to the office about 2 minutes ago how he’d managed to pull this off. His pal Robbie from back home in Dundee had told him ‘Jocky you’ve pulled the short straw here pal, this teams absolutely shite!’. He wasn’t wrong.

In a few short moments he’d be officially announced as the new first team manager of a third division team in Sweden that had 1 hand firmly held on the relegation door. The job, that he chose to accept, was to keep the other hand from going on there as well.

Despite having taken some coaching courses and having experience at lower levels, he was shunned at every avenue back home in Scotland. He had no regrets with how his career, or lack thereof, had panned out. He wasn’t much on the pitch, and lost more games than he’d won in a piss poor attempt at a career.

Getting no thanks or appreciation for years of playing amateur football across the country, as well as setting up the nets, training sessions even driving the god damn coach to games, he wasn’t given a second look. Thanks, but no thanks, you’re not what we’re looking for Mister McGhee. Good luck in your future endeavors. 

Rinse and repeat.

So what does a terrible player on the pitch and even worse person off of it do with no prospects of making it in the game he loves? The one reasonable thing someone in his position could do.

No, not that. Or the other one you’re thinking. Not yet at least.

Having decided he had no future in the game, he packed it all up and left. First to Edinburgh then onto Glasgow. He went further south to Newcastle and partied hard. He swears he can’t remember how but he ended up in Copenhagen. After a few odds and sods job around the city he’d managed to get work as a building surveyor. A year in the job he’d already decided his time in football had come to an end.

But it wasn’t long before she pulled him into her embrace and wrapped her long legs and arms around him. She’d been calling him for a while. With those tempting eyes and the flirtatious tones of her voice. Like a first love you just can’t let go of, or a deranged ex you just give in to because she won’t shut the fuck up. 

The call had come in last week. He spoke broken English to the man, and things moved fast, nearly as fast as his first time with a woman, but he didn’t feel half as embarrassed this time as he did that time.

After a coaching career never got off the ground, he was given a rare opportunity to give football management a go. He still don’t really know how it happened, but it did. It’s not you, it’s me, honest.

But here he was, in some small town in the middle of nowhere about to get stuck in to the job of a football manager.

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Upon confirmation of his role as first team manager at FK Hollviken, he’d surveyed the situation he has inherited.

His new team, and first, actually, found themselves second bottom of the league, with a nasty looking record of 14 played, 2 won, 4 drawn and 8 lost.

‘A challenge then?’ the clubs captain and assistant manager Joakim Ingves said with a nervy laugh to Jock on the first day there

‘A challenge?!? This is career fucking suicide!’ Jock replied whilst trying and failing to make it sound funny.

The silly twat replied ‘You’ve no career yet, this is your first job’

‘And probably my last!’ He quipped.

The rest of the players were huddled around, waiting to hear some words of wisdom or encouragement from the manager tasked with saving this club from relegation. Would Jock be that person? Who knows, but he’ll give it as good as he’s got.

After the mornings training session, the first of only 2 penciled in due to the club being semi professional, he ran my mind over the players. There’s a couple of good, if not decent players in the bunch, namely wingers Sekiraca and Wihlborg, and forward Persson

The best of a bad bunch probably, but this is what we’ve got to work with. The teams defending as a whole leaves a lot to be desired and even though it’s a shorter season in Sweden, 26 games in the league, this is still probably only going to end in relegation. He doesn’t tell the players that of course, although they probably already know it to be true anyway

But if being a football manager were easy, we’d all be doing it, won’t we.

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The Flying Scotsman. Chapter 1 - This is Sparta.

‘It is with great pleasure that the Sparta Ventures Group officially appoint Nils Jensen as CEO’

There was a small round of applause as he made his way to the podium to face questions from the media present. After a few rounds of basic things, welcome to the role, good luck, all the best, 1 brave journo stepped up confidently and asked exactly what everyone else was thinking

‘Mister Jensen, can you comment on some members of the company that have a somewhat questionable past?’ he asked with his eyes firmly set on the man

‘Thank you for the question. I am in no doubt whatsoever as to the credibility of all members of the company as well as the experience each brings. We have a good team, and I am certain we’ll hit our targets both long term and short’. He spoke in as near perfect English a man born and raised in Sweden could do.

‘You didn’t really answer it so I’ll put it like this. I won’t name names for fear of another lawsuit, but there are at least 3 members of staff employed as talent scouts, as per your web page, and 2 members of staff employed as sports agents that have had allegations of corruption put to them, as well as being investigated and arrested for their involvement in things like match fixing and distributing steroids. What do you say to the people who have invested in your group knowing these histories of these employees?

‘Another great question and I thank you for bringing it up. To answer that I say how many members of staff employed by us have served jail time, or had any of the allegations proven to be true? I’ll tell you, none. Not one member of staff has any criminal record and all are employed based on merit, regardless of previous allegations. Now, if we can move on from this as I have said all I’m willing to say’

‘Thank you for clearing that up, but you do acknowledge some members of staff have had allegations of match fixing and bribes levied against them’. The journalist didn’t wait for Nils to respond before continuing ‘What are the groups aims in the short term? I know you spoke about securing young talent to contracts, but what is the aim overall?

‘A great question. In the short term, 24 to 36 months time we aim to have secured a number of young up and coming players to contracts with our agents here at Sparta. The aim is to secure them contracts at clubs where they can develop their ability and become as good as they can be. On top of that we aim to have secured a deal with at least one football club to become the owners within that time as well, which is part of our long term objectives’

‘Which are?’

‘We want to create a portfolio similar to the likes of Red Bull and the City Group’

The journalist cut him off ‘So you want to compete with Manchester City?’

‘I never said that. However, eventually, yes, we want to create a portfolio of clubs and youth development centers so we can secure contracts of young players and give them a platform to play and improve. We’re committed to developing the next generation of world class footballers’ He waited a moment before finishing off 

‘That’s it for today. I’m sure you can appreciate we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.

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With that Nils Jensen left the stage. As he did one of his colleagues said ‘I think you handled the questions well’
 

‘Get me the name of that little shit that brought up the lawsuit and for the love of God make sure he’s never back at any of the events’
 

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Love a good Swedish save. Following this!

Case number – 739/BA/Z/4

Primary information – interview of Mister Vince Lloyd (Hereby referred to as VL). Re match fixing.

Interviewing officers – Det. F. Grant (hereby referred to as FG) & Def. R. Simmons (hereby referred to as RS), both of FBI. 

Interview recommenced at 21:16
 

[RS] Moving on to the cup final game now. Were your team the better team on the day?

[VL] Without a doubt

[RS] Do you think Temuco made it easy for you?

[VL] No

[RS] I trust you’ve watched the footage of the game again?

[VL] Actually, no, I’ve not. I usually do go back and watch footage especially if I’ve got any concerns, but the cup final, no I’ve not seen it again. Not only that but as I was leaving the stadium I was brought here anyway.

[RS] I’ve got the goals here on the iPad.

[RS] loads a video on the iPad and places it in the middle of the table. All 4 present in the room watch.
 

[RS] Let’s talk about the goals. The first one, your impression?

[VL] Good defending from Contreras to snuff out the long ball, then great work from everyone else involved in working the ball into a goal scoring position and the finish was good as well

[FG] I’m glad you pointed out that intercepted cross. As the forward is making the run you can clearly see he pulls up once Contreras makes his move

[VL] As would I. Contreras is a big man and the forward probably knew he’d lost that particular battle.

[RS] Noted. What about the following passage of play? There was 14 passes before the goal was scored. Any thoughts?

[VL] Other than it being a great team goal?

[RS] You can clearly see the defensive line barely engages your players at any time. There is the man playing in the center midfield role that is engaging slightly, but the rest of the Temuco players hang back. Do you not think that curious?

[VL] No, I don’t.
 

[RS] Okay, the second goal. It starts off with a free kick from Temuco which is easily cut out by your player at left full back, Acori. You’ll notice once again the attacking players make next to no effort in winning that ball. Your left winger Jonas then goes on a run and finds your forward Escalante in acres of space. 2 things to note on this passage of play. Jonas isn’t challenged on his way to playing the ball, and Escalante has no pressure whatsoever once he receives the ball, the defenders are all jogging back. Thoughts on that goal please.

[VL] Another well worked goal, this time on the counter. We win the ball in our own half from a defensive position, we then make quick work of getting the ball from defence to attack and get a goal from it

[RS] Do you agree the defence made it easy for your players?

[VL] No comment
 

[RS] Last goal now. A goal kick from the opposition keeper ends up with another goal for you. You have to agree that Uribe in defence made it easy for Simon to win the ball and score the third of the game?

[VL] I aren’t going to say whether it was easy or not, all I know is Lucas won the ball cleanly and wrapped the game up for us with that third goal.

[RS] But can you admit the defending from start to finish by Temuco was abject at best

[VL] Looks to his counsel who shakes his head. [VL] responds no comment

[RS] Back to Lucas Simon, and for the record I am showing Mister Lloyd the transcript from the court documents, reference number KCI_18B23D, in which it confirms Mister Simon has been prescribed performance enhancing drugs

[RS] Passes papers to [VL] who spends some time reading over them.

[VL] then speaks into his counsel’s ear which is inaudible.
 

[RL] As advised by yourselves, this questioning as I am led to believe is related to my client’s apparent involvement in match fixing, of which so far you have produced precisely zero evidence to support that claim. Now you are showing a document from the Santiago High Court, which even says classified on the front page, relating to a member of my clients playing staff, who I might add has not brought this issue to light nor has it been brought to the attention of my client’s employer. I am unsure of what tactics you are trying to employ but my client will not be answering any more questions unless they relate directly to him.

[FG] Noted, thank you. [FG] then writes in his notepad before letting [RS] continue

[RS] Before we wrap things up here I just want to ask something else, and it does relate to Mister Lloyd before you oppose it. With this new evidence of a member of your first team, and possibly your main player, being presented to you, does that change your professional and personal opinion not only on the player in question, but does your mind now agree that there has been match fixing going on around the club?

[RL] My client wishes not to answer that

[VL] Actually I will. [Brief pause] My opinion on the player in question hasn’t changed in the slightest. I am not going to discuss that court report any firther today. I won’t be discussing any allegations of my involvement, or knowledge of tampering with results until you have proof that I have been involved, which you won’t find any I can assure you now. This court document could be false for all I know as the player or the club haven’t mentioned it to me once. Unless you’re going to arrest and detain me officially, I am leaving.
 

[VL] & [RS] gather their things and leave the interview room
 

[FG] For the purpose of the tape, the interviewed ended at 22:22.

Case number – 739/BA/Z/4

Primary information – interview of Mister Vince Lloyd (Hereby referred to as VL). Re match fixing / operation Rolling Thunder

Interviewing officers – Det. F. Grant (hereby referred to as FG) & Def. R. Simmons (hereby referred to as RS), both of FBI. Recording commenced after initial details confirmed such as name, age and so on

[FG] Can you confirm you know you’re not under arrest? 

[VL] Yes

[FG] And you’re here of your own free will?

[VL] Yes

[FG[ Lastly, have any threats or promises been made to you by the police in Chile, or any authority in the States?

[VL] No

[RS] As you know we’re looking into various allegations of fixing of matches in Chile, as well as other places. Can I ask right off the bat, when were you contacted about getting involved in match fixing?

[VL] As I’ve told you already, and at least 5 times today I’ve not been involved in any match fixing

[RS] I’m not at liberty to call you a liar but I don’t think you’re being completely honest with us Vince

[VL] (Visibly shaken) I’ve explained to you, to your colleagues and to my legal counsel that I am unaware of any wrongdoing going on at the club, or by my players or any other player or person connected with football for that matter.

[FG] But you agree that match fixing could’ve gone on?

VL’s legal associate leans into VL to whisper in his ear

[VL] No comment

[FG] I note you’re taking the advice of your counsel, but can you at least agree that at some point in time that there has been match fixing taking place in football in general, not just tied to this investigation

[VL] No comment

[FG] Lets go over the details and evidence we’ve gathered that has brought us to this point. I would also like to point out that whilst you’re not under arrest, anything you do say can and will be used in evidence against you, should you be arrested, understand?

VL nods his head. He then turns to his counsel. [Inaudible]

[FG] I don’t think we need to go over everything from your starting at Cobreloa to today as that has been discussed at length between your counsel and ourselves, so for the sake of this interview I will bring things up as and when I need to. [Pause] FG puts a folder on the table and opens it revealing a stack of papers

[FG] The document I have in front of me is a match report from The Calama Football Paper. Vince please can you confirm for the tape what it is in front of you

[VL] It’s the match report from our semi final first leg loss to San Quillota

[FG] And for the tape, who did you refer to as our just then?

[VL] Cobreloa FC, the team I’m the manager of

[RS] Okay. So you lost the first leg, did you play well?

[VL] I’d say so. We got the first goal but conceded 2 sloppy goals and didn’t get the equaliser

[RS] Were Cobreloa or San Quillota the better team, in your opinion?

[VL] I think it was an even game all things considered

[FG] Stepping back a little now, your team played Cobresal 3 times in a row before that semi final with San Quillota, correct?

[VL] Yes

[FG] You won all 3?

[VL] We did

[RS] Instead of going over all of these, I think we will cut to the chase. Your team had just been promoted to the Primera division in Chile, you’d signed a couple of players who wouldn’t get into a top team’s side, but here you are beating the richest club in Chile 3 times in less than 2 weeks and we’d not touched on it, but you’d also managed to not only get through the second leg of the semi with a win, but you won by 6 goals to nil.

[VL] Okay, what do you want from me? My team stepped up for the 3 games against the clubs local rivals. I reminded the players that in all 3 games the pressure is on Cobresal, they’ve got the money, they’re expecting big things, they signed that Brazilian kid….(VL’s counsel pulls him back and whispers in his ear) [inaudible]

[Ricardo Lewis, VL counsel (hereby referred to as RL)] My client will not make any more statements until a specific question is asked.

[RS] Fine. We’ve got proof that the 3 games against Cobresal had been rigged. We don’t know exactly how many people were in on it just yet, but the sheer number of bets placed before the day of the game and in the hours leading up to it are no coincidence.

[Brief pause]

[RS] I won’t go into details of that just yet, but I want to ask about Lucas Simon. He’s scored no more than 10 goals a season up until the season you joined Cobreloa and got promoted where he scored 14, nothing unsurprising there as you were in the second division which wasn’t exactly filled with great players. Then in the shortened season he’s scored 16 in 15 league games.

[VL] Looks visibly confused. [RL] makes a gesture with his hand.

[RS] The point I’m making is this. Do you not find it strange that for 13 years as a pro he never managed more than 10, but now in the last 3 he’s managed to score over 3 in just under 50 games? Add his cup goals on top of that as well and he’s well into more than 50 goals

[VL] (Looks to his counsel, who nods) Is that a question?

[RS] Yes

[VL] He’s in his prime. He’s been a model pro since turning professional and continued to improve week after week. I’m lucky to have him really, and a lot of our work on tactics and in games is done with him as the vocal point

[RS] So you’d be surprised to learn he’s been taking performance enhancing steroids I take it?

[VL] I would be surprised, yes.

[RS] Let’s adjourn for 10 minutes.

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Destiny, as a word, can cause great expectations, and panic

The rumors of match fixing were gathering pace around the time of our FA Cup final game with Temuco, with just about every news outlet in the country running with the story. I didn’t pay much attention to it really as I was concentrating on getting the team ready for the final.

Temuco had beaten us 5-1 in the league a few weeks previous, although since that game and the final, we’d played 1 league game whereas they’d had 4 games in 3 weeks. I was sure we’d be the fitter of the 2 teams heading into the game almost hoping they’d be jaded.

I told the players just to go out there without any extra pressure, as the pressure would be on Temuco to have a repeat of the 5 goal beating they gave us earlier in the season. Privately I thought we’d overachieved getting to the final, but had to agree that our path there wasn’t the hardest and we could have easily been drawn against a bigger team.

The fans were in the stand behind the dugout and in the end where Temuco would be shooting toward in the first half. They made their voices heard and it spurred the players on right from the off.  It didn’t take long for the first goal to go in, and it was in our favour

Escalante, who had been injured by our rivals Cobresal had managed to get fit for this one and picked up right he left off. He scored the first in 3 minutes and had managed to double our lead mid way through the first half. We went in at half time 2 goals up.

My half time address to the players was short and simple, keep going! We just had to keep up the momentum and really, we’d controlled the game up until half time anyway. I felt there would be some fight back from Temuco and there was, but it lasted all of about 10 minutes. 

We got our third and killed off the game a little over 10 minutes into the second half, as Simon scored again to give us a 3-0 with most of the second half to play

I wanted us to just see the game out, but Temuco, knowing they’d stuffed the chance of winning the cup, went about causing as much unrest as possible. They constantly fouled and didn’t let any rhythm get into the remainder of the game. The second yellow on 67 summed up the afternoon for them in many ways

Once all the media stuff was out of the way I could celebrate with the players. We had a good couple of hours after the game and all felt we really deserved this win. Considering that we’d just been promoted and our only aim was staying in the top division in the shortened season, we were all buzzing we’d won it. Not only that, but from the next season we’d find ourselves in the COPA Libertadores qualifying stage. I was under no illusions that we’d even make it to the group stages yet alone win it at the first try, but to be in the competition was a massive bonus.

Just as I was heading out of the stadium after celebrating with the players and my staff, and after they’d all left, 1 man in a suit walked into the changing room, accompanied by 2 uniformed police officers and spoke to me in a stern way ‘Mister Lloyd, we’d like a word’

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Subject – Re. Operation Rolling Thunder

Attachment – Cob_4_Chi.wav and text copy with annotations attached

Notes:

Persons heard in the call are confirmed as Rolando Chavez (RC) & Micky Q (Hereby referred to as MQ) 

Use of code words present again. 

The ‘café’ is yet an unknown location, Seth’s team are looking into this. 

The ‘unit’ and ‘Argey’ are possibly Cobreloa forwards David Escalante and Lucas Simon. We’re yet to receive authorisation to monitor their movements, although they have been spotted with the Cobreloa squad and coaching staff during the last 2 days. Both were off the grid from 15:00 yesterday to 08:30 today and are travelling to Santiago at the time of my typing this email. The feeling is neither are aware of any wrong doing by others associated with the suspects or anyone at the club at this time, although they are going to be people of interest based on the call recording attached.

Surveillance ongoing of the other potential accomplices of the group known as ‘The Hit Squad’

[MQ] Tommy [potentially known fugitive Tommy Simeone, AKA The Piano Man, TBC] told me to get the papers

[RC] And did you?

[MQ] I did.

[RC] What did you put down there

[MQ] 50 large on the unit banging

[RC] We cut those fractions, the unit was broken so that should be a banker

[MQ] I got another 25 on the Argey getting in on the act

[RC] He’s mustard, he’s not involved, should be good for a return though

[MQ] Who knows

[RC] Need to know only, no public, we’re good

[MQ] How’s the rocks looking

[RC] Perfect, no discussions needed

[MQ] The big guy wants a word

[RC] I’ll call the café at noon tomorrow

Call ended after 53 seconds

Good start, will be following.

There's always interest bro

Subject – Operation Rolling Thunder

Attachment – Cob_2_Chi.wav & Cob_3_Chi.wav and text copies with annotations attached

Notes:

Use of code words present in Cob_3_Chi.wav

Surveillance ongoing

Call recording commenced after 01 minute and 09 seconds of dialog
 

[Male no.1, assumed to be Augusto Gonzalez, Cobreloa chairman] You can’t be serious

[Male no.2, strong English accent, possibly Yorkshire(to be confirmed) as yet unidentified] I am being very serious my friend

[Male no.1] That’s a pretty big allegation. What basis does anyone have?

[Male no.2] Apparently your man has ties with some very shady people in the states. [Inaudible] means to get to New York. He’s got a lot of friends in low places

[Male no.1] You’re mistaken. He was a nobody when I hired him

[Male no.2] Exactly. Where did you find him?

[Male no.1] It sort of just happened.

[Male no.2] That’s partly why the allegations are there. How has a nobody from Texas taken your team from the second division to the Primera league and a cup final, with that squad in 18 months?

[Male no.1] Hard work [inaudible] players like him [background noise] got them playing well

[Male no.2] Apart from 2 players that squad is poor, really poor

[Male no.1] What’s your point? He’s got our forward banging goals in and the rest of the team are playing out of their skins

[Male no.2] Listen mate they’re looking into you and the team. No team ever does as well as Cobreloa have done without major investments. The players you’ve signed are past their prime or never has been journeymen. By rights you should be propping up the league, not 6th and in the cup final. That’s why you’re being looked at, match fixing and dodgy refs

Silence for 6 seconds

[Male no.1] I’m not going to dignify that with an answer

[Male no.2] The things your team has done should have been down the road at Cobresal with all that money they’ve got

[Male no.1] That takeover needs looking at, no way that was by the books

[Male no.2] Forget that, you need to do some digging if you don’t already know what’s going on under your nose

Call ended at 15:54 local time

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Cob_3_Chi.wav

Call number 2 of a series of calls between members of The Hit Squad organised crime syndicate

Rolando Chavez identified as making the call, hereby referred to as RC. Call made from a Santiago, Chile address on 04 December 2017 at 16:04 local time

Shawn Delaney identified as receiving the call, hereby referred to as SD. Call received at another Santiago address.

Persons referred to as ‘big guy’ & ‘little guy’ as yet remain unidentified. Seth’s team are looking into this

[RC] I told you’d I had a good feeling about the dogs

[SD] The tips at the track were good this week

[RC] Plenty of books to be viewed in the big room next week

[SD] Have you checked in on the veal?

[RC] Plenty. All [inaudible] and waiting. Just need the [background noise / inaudible] confirming

[SD] Such as

[RC] End game, number of players, you know, the usual

[SD] I’ll speak with the big guy, you tell the little guy to be ready

[RC] It will be done

Call ended 16:06 local time
 

That's part of the reason I'm still playing FM17, I just can't get into any of the newer ones. FM22 has some good features but I just can't get into it. 

From out of nowhere

Due to how the seasons were when I started at Cobreloa, the second season was to be a short one and ran from June to December. From the next season onwards it ran January – November 

In the shortened season we held a record of 14 played, 9 wins 5 losses and no draws before a triple header with our local rivals, and Chile’s richest club Cobresal.

We’d taken to life in the top division pretty quickly and found our way into the quarter final of the cup. The 3 games against the vermin from Cobresal would be the test on just how far we’d come in 16 short months, and we certainly brought them and their millions down a peg or three!

The first of the trifecta against the scum was the first leg of the quarter final and was as easy a derby match as could be, as they got their pants pulled down and took a good smashing, 3-0 to us

The next match of the 3 saw us get our own sloppy seconds as we started where we left off and cleaned up after ourselves in a 2-0 win in the league and 3 more valuable points

We made it a perfect 3 wins from 3 against them with a 2-0 away win in the second leg, 5-0 on aggregate which dumps them out of the cup

Cobresal did get a modicum of revenge however as through constant fouling and being dick heads in general, saw them injure our forward David Escalante in that third game

Our next hurdle in our quest to reach the cup final was in the form of a 2 legged semi against San Luis Quillota

They’d already given us a 1-0 loss in the shortened league season, and followed that up with another victory over us, 2-1 in the first leg of the semi

But we managed to overturn that first leg loss with a resounding 6-0 second leg win to get us in to the final of the cup!

Between the 3 matches with Cobresal and double header with San Luis it was clear the team were a force going forward but we were susceptible at the back, despite that 6-0 thrashing of San Luis. The ride back to Calama after the first leg loss to San Luis made me chuckle. The shit house manager of San Luis piped up in the media, something along the lines of aggression and not shaking hands

He’s old news to me and the boys now. We got drawn against Deportes Temuco in the cup final who managed to absolutely destroy us 5-1 in our league game just a week before the final

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A little over a year in Cobreloa and I couldn’t be happier. Promotion in our first season together and now a cup final to look forward to, everything was dropping into place. The players that were already at the club, namely Lucas Simon and Jose Silva have been key to our exceeding expectations. I'm under no illusions about how we made it to the cup final. Luckily, or conveniently, you decide, we avoided some of Chile's bigger clubs like Colo-Colo and O'Higgins, and really our path to the final could've been a lot harder than it had been

Obviously the team needs some work doing to it and we certainly need to be more consistent, but things are certainly looking rosy at the minute, but I can’t shake this feeling I’ve got of some impending disaster. 

Rob Friend, one of my coaches is constantly talking about things he’s read in the media and online and seems distracted a lot. He keeps talking about thunder or something like that.

I tend to keep off the sports websites and social media to avoid getting affected by any press. I tell the players the same as well, whether they listen is another story though.

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It happens man, we don't get as much time to game as we'd like. Hope you're well.

Can this be made in the correct sizes for the game please Police FC of Trinidad

The only way is up

Despite being on loan away from us for the second half of the season, Silva was awarded the player of year award. His 13 assists in 15 games was a league high

It won’t be easy to stay in the Primera division, and I thought it will take even longer to challenge for a spot in the COPA Libertadores, however our local rivals CD Cobresal have just been taken over. While being rivals the link between our clubs was cut but I didn’t even know we had an affiliation with them until the cut was announced  

Can our club get a takeover and lots of money please so we can challenge for trophies??? This takeover has put our local rivals right at the top of the list in terms of finances in Chile. You’d assume they’ll be a force to be reckoned with before long

The CONCACAF Champions League finished and saw CF Monterrey win it again, beating Tigres in the final

Tigres are already eligible but something struck me as surprising. CD Honduras got to the semi final stage after only losing 1 game in the competition, that being the second leg to eventual runners up Tigres

They might become eligible, who knows. But shortly after the final Tigres sacked the manager

I didn’t bother applying, I doubt 1 promotion from the second division in Chile will be enough to land the job at one of Mexico’s top teams.

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In preparation for our first season in the Primera Division we make some much needed signings. I won’t go through all the sales, as a lot of players were let go. The squad was 37 players when I joined!

But coming in to give us a fighting chance of staying up are midfielder Freddy Munizaga, defenders Claudio Calderon and Michael Contreras (who was on loan and signed permanently) and forward David Escalante

We also managed to agree a loan deal for former Newcastle winger Jonas Gutierrez

With a good mix of experience and ability I’m looking forward to getting the new season underway!

The right man in the right place can make all the difference

‘I don’t want to do it, I shouldn’t have to’ I protested.

‘You have to do it, you’re the manager’ Dwayne replied

I looked over and saw a snotty nosed kid wearing a vote for Pedro t shirt and a tie, he looked stupid and I said ‘He’s wearing a tie, make him do it’ but it was no good. I would have to face the media at some point in my career so now was probably the best time all things considered.

As I sat there in front of 5, possibly 6 reporters the words just came out. ‘They said I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t cut it.’

‘They said I’d never amount to nothing, and shunned my every advance. But to all those that said I wasn’t worth their time, f*ck you with a massive F!’

I was quickly ushered off the stage and told to work on my media skills.

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As I’d pointed out already, the building blocks were already in place at Cobreloa before I took charge of my first game. But before we could really celebrate any success we had some rough terrain to navigate.

First bit of business that would secure us a position long term saw first choice keeper Ezequiel Cacace tell me he’s missing home. Dude, we’re in Chile, literally right next door to your home country of Argentina. And let’s be blunt, how different is Chile to Argentina? Or any Spanish speaking country from another for that matter? 

I try going in with the hard approach, telling my number keeper I’m not that bothered. Trips to the country next door aren’t going to be breaking the bank are they. He wasn’t convinced.

I didn’t even bother offering a leave of absence, I didn’t have time for these childish problems, you’re a grown man for god sake! I agree to sell him and it didn’t take long before I had his replacement lined up. Another Argentine, although I was assured this one had a pair of balls and wouldn’t miss home when he signed. He’s about the same as Cacace in terms of ability but is also 9 years younger, so you’d think he will improve.

I also had a dilemma on my hands in the form of left winger Jose Luis Silva, who had interest in him from a number of top division teams. At the time he’d managed 15 games, 14 of those were starts, and bagged an impressive 13 assists and 3 man of the match awards

But an offer to loan him for the final 6 months of the season came in from another eligible team, Universidad Catalica I accepted it. Silva also wanted to talk with them and I didn’t want a player problem on my hands this early. Plus, I felt we’d be going up to that division anyway so his stay there wouldn’t be long. I insisted on the recall option as well, just in case.

Back on the pitch we started the season by hitting the ground running and to be fair, we hardly, if ever, looked back. Some great performances and wins along the way, including bagging a 94th minute winner against Santiago Morning. I felt for them as there was only to be 3 minutes of added time, but we scored on 93:49 to give us the 3 points

Another good showing was when took all 3 points away at Puerto Montt. It as an even game until Sanhueza got a straight red part way through the second half. We switched things up and aimed to catch them on the counter, which we managed to and grab that goal and hold on

We did win the Primera B division and promotion with 2 games to spare though and to be blunt we never looked like not winning it, despite being seen as a mid table side

How have i nor realised you're back with another thread @Skinner_  ?!?

Great read as always mate

How did you get the Spartak job after only 1 season at Krasnoyarsk??

Every new beginning is some other new beginnings end

The journey to redemption starts in Chile, as already stated. In a city called Calama and the football club CD Cobreloa. The clubs had some success, 9 top division titles alongside a Chile FA Cup honor, this is a club with a decent history.

This club is eligible in the challenge due to finishing runners up in back to back years in the COPA Libertadores in 1981 & 1982, losing out to Brazilian side Flamengo and Uruguayan side Penarol respectively

Despite the media’s claim my side would finish mid table in 6th place, the building blocks are already there for us to make a serious challenge.  Club captain Arturo Sanhueza and main striker Lucas Simon look like 2 of my main players from the off

The fundamentals are already there and my new team hit the ground running, as they say. Apart from a draw and a loss in our fifth and sixth games, which I’ll put down to fatigue, we won our first four matches in convincing fashion

To compliment the foundations already here I brought in some back room staff to help me and non existent skills out. Canadian hero Rob Friend and American former MLS player Eric Brunner were the first of my new look back room staff to make the move

Those 2 were brought in primarily to work on technique and defence, as thinking long term we’re going to need to play smart on the defensive end. I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here, but in the short term we should be okay. Complimenting them and completing the trifecta of my backroom team, in comes Canada’s best ever (probably) player Dwayne De Rosario

With my back room team now consisting of former players with international experience, I can focus on getting the team up the league.

In Chile there are 2 stages to the second division, the opening and closing stages. It’s popular across South America and puts a lot of people off managing here. At the end of the season an average points system comes into play, based on the number of points gained per game over the previous seasons. So the onus really is to try and get promoted as soon as possible.

The boys really played their part in the opening stage, and by the end of the first 15 games had managed an incredible record of 9-2-3 as we sat atop the league at the half way point

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I take absolutely zero credit for the idea behind this save, I have added some 'extras' into it though. The idea came from some great reads from a user over on the SI Forums, and the guy that posted them wrote on his site, that I used to write on. He’s done the save multiple times in Europe and Africa, but not the Americas. That’s where I step in. So without further ado, let's get into it.

The Copa Libertadores is the South American equivalent of the UEFA Champions League and since it's inception the Libertadores has seen many winners from the South American teams, and more recently Mexican sides. It has also seen 18 teams get to the final but come up short.

The CONCACAF Champions League is the North American version of our Champions League, it used to be in a cup format before changing to mimic our own version and has been dominated by Mexican teams, with 10 teams getting to the final and leaving as the losing side. I am including some teams from the previous format of the CONCACAF Champions League for this challenge.

This thread is about those teams who have got to the final and ended up losing.

Housekeeping first. I'm only including some teams in the CONCACAF part of the challenge for a very specific reason. There have been teams in real life from Cuba, Curacao and Suriname that have got to the final but in game these countries don’t get a place in the Champions League from the off. The editor data files don’t include them and I imagine it will take a long time in game to raise the rep of these countries. Sorry Pinar Del Rio, Jong Colombia & Robinhood FC . Also, Honduran side Universidad are no longer a team, so aren't included

Likewise, in the COPA Libertadores, there have been some Mexican teams get to the final in real life and fail to win it. Mexican teams aren’t invited any more, however on long term FM saves I’ve had I have seen teams from Mexico appear in it. But for the sake of this challenge, Mexican teams aren’t included in this part.

At the start of the game (FM17), the following teams have got to the final of the Copa Libertadores and failed to win it:

América de Cali (1985, 1986, 1987, 1996)

Athlético Paranaense (2005)

Barcelona (1990, 1998)

Cobreloa (1981, 1982)

Deportivo Cali (1978, 1999)

Fluminense (2008)

Independiente del Valle (2016)

Nacional (2014)

Newell's Old Boys (1988, 1992)

Unión Española (1975)

Universidad Católica (1993)

Universitario (1972)

São Caetano (2002)

Sporting Cristal (1997)

Also at the start of the game, the below teams have got to the CONCACAF Champions League final and left as the losing team:

Atletico Marte (1981)

Club Leon (1993)

Montreal Impact (2015)

Morelia (2002, 2003)

Real Salt Lake (2011)

Santos Laguna (2012, 2013)

The aim for this save is to win the competition the above teams failed to win. If any of the above teams win the Libertadores or CONCACAF Champions League in the game, they are removed from the challenge.

Also, if any other team, as in not listed above gets to the final of any of the competitions and fails to win it, they become eligible.

I had intended to include the Copa Sudamericana (South American EUROPA League) as well, however that would bring the eligible teams at the start up to over 30, and no way I'd manage to get all those in.

As a 'bonus' challenge, in it's current format the CONCACAF Gold Cup (since 1991) has seen Costa Rica, Honduras, Jamaica & Panama got to the final only to lose.

Honduras 1991

Costa Rica 2002

Panama 2005

Jamaica 2015

If any other North American nation becomes eligible they will be included in the challenge as well. The South American equivalent the Copa America there are no eligible teams as all who had got to a final have also won it at some point. Ecuador & Venezuela haven't got to a final in real life, however if they do in game, they become eligible.

There are only 2 set in stone rules for this save I am sticking to. First is if I win the Libertadores or CONCACAF Champions League with a team, I must leave that team as they are removed from the challenge. I am allowing myself to leave a team at my own free will but ONLY to another eligible team or nation.

The second is that I don’t have to stay at a team until I win the competition needed. I can leave and come back. Of course getting sacked falls under this rule, however if I get sacked without winning something then I reckon I’ll struggle. But until that happens I won’t need to be concerned with it.

There are a total of 23 clubs and 4 nations eligible at the start of the game and I would expect some of those to win the competition in game and others to become eligible. I'll be as realistic as possible, I probably won't even manage all of these teams but I'll give it a good go.

1 last bit of housekeeping. I have all South American nations loaded with editor files, and a handful of North American nations. Sao Caetano start in the lower leagues of Brazil and would need a couple of promotions to be playable. I think they may be the team I might have trouble with managing but as above, until it becomes an issue I’ll leave it for now.

I will aim to get posts up at the very least once a week.

Join me on my journey for redemption.

I had sat outside the chairman’s office, listening intently.

‘Him?’ I heard the bald guy that smells of helicopter fumes and 2 day old Chinese takeaway say

‘Si amigo, el tiron’.

The Yank.

That fucking Yank they’d end up saying. But that was a long way off, years away in fact. But here I was, a long way away from my home in Texas.

No one would give me a chance back home. Once they did their due diligence and looked into my somewhat questionable past, they all baulked at offering me anything in the way of employment on a coaching team.

Despite having taken some coaching courses and having experience at lower levels, I was shunned at every avenue in the States. I have no regrets with how my career, or lack thereof, had panned out.

I wasn’t much on the pitch. I lost more games than I won in my piss poor attempt at a career.

Getting no thanks or appreciation for years of playing amateur football across the country, as well as setting up the nets, training sessions even driving the god damn coach to games, I wasn’t given a second look. Thanks, but no thanks, you’re not what we’re looking for Mister Lloyd. Good luck in your future endeavors.

Rinse and repeat.

So what does a terrible player on the pitch and even worse person off of it do with no prospects of making it in the game he loves? The one reasonable thing someone in my position could do.

No, not that. Or the other one you’re thinking. Not yet at least.

I decided I had no future in the game, and I packed it all up and left. First to Monterrey across the border from my home in Corpus Christi. Then I went to Cancun and partied hard. Then somehow I had made my way south of the continent border to Bogota in Colombia then on to Santiago in Chile where my story begins anew.

But it wasn’t long before she pulled me into her embrace and wrapped her long legs and arms around me. She’d been calling me for a while. With those tempting eyes and the flirtatious tones of her voice. Like a first love you just can’t let go of, or a deranged ex you just give in to because she won’t shut the fuck up. I digress.

The call had come in last week. He spoke broken English to me, but soon spoke clearly in Spanish when he heard I’m fluent in the local dialect. Things moved fast, nearly as fast as my first time with a woman, but I didn’t feel as embarrassed this time as I did that time.

After attempting a coaching career that never got off the ground, I was now in a position to accomplish an idea I had conjured up in my head, an idea that came to me one afternoon in Chile. When it was all said and done, those in the Spanish speaking countries would call me El Salvador, the saviour.

The idea was that no matter what, the past isn’t to be forgotten. It’s there as a reminder of previous failures, and for those failures to be rectified. Redemption they call it.
But to find redemption you must go to the source of that which needs to be redeemed, and on that morning in Chile, I was at the first stop on my road to redemption.

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It’s warm here. I thought Corpus Christi got warm sometimes but this heat, this is proper heat. This is you could fry an egg on the hood of a car heat.

I didn’t really have time to wonder how it came to be, me ending up here. But I was there now. In some city cum desert state called Calama. Northern Chile.

It might take a little while to call this place home or for the people here to recognise me when I walk down the street, but for now I’m still a nobody, not just here but in football in general.

No media are there when I walk into the stadium. No fans waiting outside to hear the news of the newest manager to try and fail to bring back the glory days of the 80’s to this club. Well, glory days might be a bit of an exaggeration, they’ve never actually achieved much glory of anything, but with time hopefully I can change that.

Before long I’m in what the club call the staff catering area, and I ask for a standard size bowl of salt and pepper to go with the extra large chip I have on my shoulder. The young waitress just giggles awkwardly at my request. You’ll understand some day flower, I’ll see to that.

She disappears and then reappears with a tray with 5 glasses of some liquid, champagne maybe? It tastes like warm piss but I down it along with the other 4. As I do 4 portly men are making their way over to me. ‘¿dónde se ha ido mi champan moza? one of the men asks, to which the girl just nods my way. 

I smiled back in the most awkward way possible. Try me fatso, I dare ya'

After speaking to me for what seemed hours, I decided that this bunch of men whilst a bit weird, have given me something those back home wouldn’t, and that was a chance.

A chance to prove people wrong, and a chance to earn redemption for this, and multiple other clubs.

Can someone create this in both sizes for the game please? Thanks in advance

Russia and the Russian leagues have been nerfed in the newest update

@mons  Please can you delete this career? 🙂

Perfect, thank you

Does anyone know if it is possible to delete a career I have started on the site? The only options I can find are edit the career and edit the comments, not seeing anything to delete the full career?

Cheers.

You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.
 

Before a ball was kicked in the new season, Jimmy’s advocate called to confirm the club had singed 1 more player for the upcoming season, a player Jimmy should know

‘Who in the blue hell is Nay Nay?!’

‘Not Nay Nay, it’s Nene’

‘Never heard of him’

‘You have, he was Lampang’s captain, you know, the team you relegated!’

‘Nah you’re wrong, the captain was that big unit that was injured for every game I was there apart from the last one where we got dicked and sent down’

The advocate gave a very loud audible sigh down the phone line ‘He’ll be there shortly. He’s expecting to be your captain again, so I suggest you think of a way to tell your squad this news. Speak soon’ He hung up.

When Jimmy turned around he was greeted by a broad dark skinned man, who spoke perfect English

‘We meet again boss. Thanks for arranging the move here. We were unlucky at Lampang weren’t we, if I wasn’t injured we’d have stayed up’ the man said

‘Erm, yeah mate’ Jimmy replied awkwardly

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A few nights later, Jimmy is awoken by the sounds of his phone ringing

‘H-hello?’

‘James, it’s me, I hope you’ve not forgotten what today is?’

‘Fuck sake, what time is it?’

‘5AM’

‘Kin’ hell man what is it with you, can’t you leave me alone?’

‘Tell Amber to get out and leave, you get a shower and dressed and don’t under any circumstances touch the powder she’s left out for you’ Click. He hung up.

That fucking bastard, Jimmy thought, and as he did Amber, last evenings companion walked to the bed, naked and semi erect ‘I’ve left a morning boost on the side for you, unless you fancy something else?’ she asked looking down to her (his??) penis whilst reaching for Jimmy’s

‘How much will this one cost? He asked sheepishly

‘On the house’ she replied whilst fully undressing herself. As his 9 inches of doom steadily went in and out of here for at least 9 minutes, he noticed a tattoo on her left leg and made a mental note to query it after he’d finished, which if history is anything to go by won’t be much longer.

When he finally finished, 17 minutes later to be precise, he congratulated himself by hoover up the powder left on the cabinet by Amber, and he asked her, in no uncertain terms ‘You’re a green nosed gobshite then?’ to which she replied ‘In my previous life I was a die hard football fanatic yes’

‘Why Celtic?’

‘My dad’s a catholic’

‘He can’t have been too happy about, erm, your change?’

‘Nope, he’s disowned me. Anyway why do you ask? You’re not a Blue are ya?’

‘Absolutely not! Hearts through and through me pet!’

She smiled, finished off the last of the powder and gave him a kiss on the cheek. ‘See you tonight?’ he asked, to which she replied ‘Can’t, I’ve got a corporate client, pays really well, double so I don’t tell anyone, it’s easy money. I’ll be in touch’

By the time he got to the teams bus the driver was seconds away from leaving, Jimmys advocate screaming something about punctuality, but he made it and off to Bangkok they went, in the teams first game of the season against Police Tero, stupid team name by the way.

Life wasn’t kind to Jimmy in his debut as Samut manager as his new team went down 2-0, with new boy Nene nearly killing an attacker by going in with studs showing. The incompetence of the Thailand referees fully on show, as if Joey Barton had made that tackle he would be given a 2 year playing ban and a suspended prison sentence. Nene got off without as much as a yellow card.

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Cross posted at On The Break with images

When life gives you lemons, throw them back. Lemons are a terrible gift.

Life wasn’t giving Jimmy the lemon’s he’d heard so much about, but what it was giving him was a job, a place to stay and money from said job. His new team, Samut Songkhram were expected to be fighting it out at the bottom end of the table with relegation very likely, however Jimmy’s new advocate had other ideas.

Upon meeting the advocate for the first time, Jimmy was told in no uncertain terms ‘I’ll be watching your every move’

‘Weirdo’

‘From what I’ve heard you’re the one that’s weird’

Jimmy reluctantly accepted his new companion, although not everything was doom and gloom. The first day in the job, his advocate confirmed to Jimmy the club would be hiring a director of football to oversee transfers, something Jimmy was grateful for.

‘The bosses have got a former player in to help you, his name is Alexey, he’ll be here tomorrow, but he’s already agreed deals for 2 players’

Alexey joined Jimmy and his advocate in the players lounge the following day and introduced himself to Jimmy. Once the pleasantries were out of the way they conducted business

‘I can confirm the bosses have sanctioned 2 new player signings, both from Tuvalu. Midfielder Vaisua Liva and forward Alopua Petoa will be here later today

Not world beaters, I mean who from Tuvalu would ever be any decent? But it was 2 more players at his disposal, and he was grateful for the support. 

After meeting his new team and asking a few things, mainly where the best drinking spots in Samut are and briefly going over tactics, Jimmy had a long discussion with his new advocate to clear things up

‘Firstly you probably don’t like me…’

Jimmy cut him off ‘No shit I don’t, you’re a massive bell end!’

‘I can be your best friend or worst enemy James’

‘Don’t call me that’

‘I’ll call you Fred fucking Flintstone if I want, now listen to me’ he allowed himself a moment ‘You find yourself in a unique position, the bosses have friends within the authorities here in Thailand, and have been looking at ways to get into favourable positions in football. The idea is for you to get a bit of a reputation in this part of the world and before long get you into a top club where the bosses can invest heavily and win’

Jimmy looked confused 

‘Don’t worry about it, I’ve got things lined up for the short term’

‘How’?

‘You’re going to be here in Samut for this year, then we’ll see. We’ll take things as they come, but we’re in a good position here. We stay up and can build on getting promotion, but let’s take it slow for now’

‘It’s not like I have a choice is it’

‘No, but just trust me okay. I can see that you’re conflicted so let me explain it like this. If, in the unlikely event you fail here or anywhere else, you will have had experience of managing and a good few years on your CV. There’s plenty of clubs around the world that would take you on with a few years under your belt. You could even look at it as starting again in that event, but it won’t happen.’ He waited a moment ‘I’ve got as much at stake as you, if you fail I fail. I’m here to guide you and make sure you get as much of a chance of success as possible. Hell you could even go back to Scotland I hear their leagues are pretty shit at the minute’

‘True that actually’

‘See, so you’re either going to be in a better position professionally and financially than you are now, or you’re going to have gained experience to better your chances elsewhere, it’s a no lose situation’

‘All I remember from my old man before he went for smokes and never came back was that he always said if something seems too good to be true than it usually is’

‘Did he ever come back?’

‘No’

‘Fuck that guy and his stupid comments. You’re a football manager Jim, he’s not. Now enough talk, you’ve got work to do’

On their way out of the room, the old man who had so far accompanied Jimmy on this journey approached and the advocate spoke ‘He’s leaving us for now’

The old man cut him off ‘You’re damn right I am, I’m too old for this shit!’ and he slammed the door on his way out.

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Cross posted at On The Break with images

Travelling for 1,000 days is better than sitting in prison for 1
 

Jimmy was sacked following the arrest. The Lampang chairman using the arrest as the official reason but it was felt the relegation was probably what did it.
 

During the last couple of hours, Jimmy and his new associate were discussing the terms of the deal that would see Jimmy avoid being remanded in prison and a long wait for a court date. During the talks a small man had joined the room and introduced himself as Somchai Tanprasert.

‘Try saying that after a few bevvie’s eh lads’ Jimmy remarked

Somchai didn’t react, but instead started talking to the officer in charge of the meeting ‘This is who you have got me?’

‘Yes, at short notice…’ he was cut off

‘Keep your excuses, I am not interested’

‘It’s only for 1 year unless, well, you know’

‘I do, money is tight right now. I guess I’ll see myself out’ He looked at Jimmy and the old man ‘Come, we have much to discuss’ and the new man lead them out.

A short drive later they arrived at a football stadium. ‘My club, Samut Songkhram. Any questions?’

‘Yeah, you’re not gonna threaten to chop off my extremely large cock if I relegate your team are you?’ Jimmy asked

‘Why would I do that?’

‘The last slanty eyed fucker that forced me to manage his club said he’d chop it off we got relegated’

‘And did he?’

Jimmy pulled his shorts & pants down, sort of swung his hips around so his anatomy was on show ‘No, he didn’t’

The chairman’s eyes widened as he said ‘Wow look at the size of that!! I see you weren’t lying’

‘I never lie pal’

After discussing penis sizes a little while longer, the old man who has so far accompanied Jimmy on this journey refusing to share his (the chairman got his out, Jimmy laughed) they found themselves in the chairman’s office, ready to talk details about Jimmy’s conditions.

The next meeting that took place was just between the chairman and Jimmy. The advocate had gone to get refreshments. ‘Firstly, I’m your new boss and you’re my new first team manager’

Jimmy shook his head and said reluctantly ‘Okay, and how bad are the team?’

‘So-so. We’ll finish in the bottom half, that’s being generous’

‘Great, another relegation on my already piss poor CV then’

‘Don’t be so negative just yet, the next part of the deal with the authorities is I am to appoint a director of football to oversee transfers and contracts’

‘Good, cos I know absolutely no one over here pal!’

‘Quite. Also, as you know they have appointed an advocate for the length of the agreement, he’s someone I have known for a while’

‘What’s he gonna do exactly?’

‘As I see things he’ll advise you on everything from training, squad management and that kind of thing, even what to do to do in your spare time, or in your case what not to do!’

‘Great, so I’ve got this old tit following me around and now I’m going to have another bell end watching me constantly??’

‘It’s not going to be forever, the other option is prison’

‘I guess’

‘My advice to you, after not knowing you at all, is that your best bet is to make the most of this opportunity you’ve been given. You’re going to have run everything by your advocate, but make it work and doors could open up for you elsewhere in the world. Look at it like an apprenticeship, he can guide you in a way’

‘I don’t think doors will open up if I’ve got some knob head watching my every move!’

‘For every negative there’s a positive. You never know this could be the best thing that could’ve happened to you’ 
 

‘Aye, guess we’ll see’

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Cross posted at On The Break with images