The Night Thread Mk. IX

Well overtaking 2 cars at once that distance apart is hardly normal is it.

The truck is clearly indicating to turn left

This. The lorry has to go wide before turning in left the driver most likely see he was about to turn and was a dick in trying to get past before

My feelings right about now...

Stop changing your name.

No.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

That would explain my love for cheese.

LLEYTON FUCKING HEWITT

Story time.

Went out at about three for lunch, ended up staying out all night. Me and some slags went back to my best friend's house in Sloane Square. Everyone was doing coke, and I haven't done that for almost six months, soi shit was getting dull. This fine ass ho was getting crunked up in the house and I was eyeballing her batty crease, hard. Long story short I played some of my many moves on that cunny tunnel and convinced her to pay for a taxi back to hers. Get back to her hovel and shits getting all wrong, head up to her bedroom and we start getting down to business.

Except every time I try to put my dong inside her cunt it won't go, and trust me I've given her enough of a tongue tornado by this point that her gash is wetter than a log flume. I'm thinking "yeah my cock is huge" but really it's she's just tight as fuck and so butt cunted she can't operate. So I said, "fuck let's do this another time" cos I'm a legit gentleman. Obviously I didn't take her number because fuck that noise.

On the way out I stole four chicken breasts and a dozen eggs from her fridge. Jackpot baby.

I know this story makes me sound like a dick, but I needed to tell someone. Thank god for google chrome, I made a lot of spelling mistakes on the way while typing this out.

You are an utterly bizarre human being.

Is this going in the movie director Hollywood Max Evans?

Off to Derby for a girl at work's birthday party, all you can eat buffet at Jimmy's spice's before going to get shit faced in the bars of dirty Derby.Sounds like a plan to me.

Holy fucking fuck!!!

I wonder what her power levels are.

Is it October yet?

I hope the next customer pulled up and asked for McNuggets.

I want this:

You're so edgy

You have no idea how many people I'd offend on my Facebook if I posted it there.

You make it sound like that's such a bad and rebellious thing to do

I'm a badass going up against popular culture.

35edgy97me

If that would offend, you should upload this:

Haha.

The avatar pretty much sums up the level of excitement in that post.